by Leenie Brown
“Yes, yes, that is true, a young lady’s freedom is not the same as that of a gentleman,” he acknowledged before she continued.
“I do not fear marriage to such a man.”
“Well said, Miss Tierney. Now, I shall answer. Both fear and freedom keep me from seeking a wife at this particular time in my life. Being a husband and father comes with great responsibilities to which, to be blunt, I am not certain I feel adequate. And then, I do enjoy my freedom. My time is mine to a large extent, as is my income.” He shrugged. “It is not perhaps the best of answers, for it certainly does not show me to best advantage, but there it is.”
Bea tipped her head and, much to Graeme’s annoyance, smiled sweetly at Shelton. “Perhaps it does not show you to good advantage amongst a group of your peers, but to us ladies, it is a very good answer.”
Shelton’s brows furrowed. “It is?”
Bea nodded. “You view your family as a responsibility not to be taken lightly. You know that your sole claim to your time and money, as well as other freedoms, will need to be abandoned for the well being of a wife and children. That is very commendable, is it not, Grace?”
“Oh, indeed, it is,” Grace agreed, her head bobbing up and down vigorously.
“And I suspect, as my mother would say,” Bea continued, “when the right person comes along, it will not feel like a loss of freedom but a gaining of a great treasure and your fear of failure will pale when compared to your fear of losing that lady.”
“That is exactly what she would say,” Max agreed.
Shelton’s brows furrowed, and he was quiet for a moment. “I had not considered it in such a light. You are very wise, Miss Tierney. I almost wish I was making you an offer.”
“You do not,” Bea said with a laugh.
He smiled and shook his head. “No, you are right, but it is not because there is anything lacking in you.”
Bea felt her cheeks grow warm. “I hope one day there will be another who agrees,” she said softly.
He patted the hand that lay on her lap. “I am certain there will be.” His eyes fell once again on Graeme. “Mr. Clayton, what say you?”
“I say Max is next.”
Max laughed. “My answer is short. I am not fearful of marriage. I have cared for a mother and sister for some time now, so I do not feel completely unprepared. However, I do enjoy the limited freedom I have and have not met the lady who makes me wish to be parted with that freedom.” He turned to Graeme. “Now it is your turn.”
Graeme did not like the twinkle in Max’s eye. The fellow had been teasing him about courting his sister and being jealous of Shelton, and now that they were speaking about marriage, he was fearful that Max would ask if he wished to marry Bea. How he would answer that, he was uncertain, for to lie and say he did not wish it might cause Bea to think he did not care for her. However, if he said he did wish to marry her — as he did — and she did not wish to marry him, as she likely did not since she was in love with his brother, their friendship would be broken. “I need only find the lady who will accept me,” he said.
“You do not fear it?” Grace asked.
Graeme shook his head. “No, I fear loneliness more.”
“Are you sure you still need to find the lady?” Shelton asked with a grin. “Surely there is one who has made you think of loneliness?”
Graeme shrugged. “I did not say I had not found a lady I wished to marry. I said I needed to find one who would accept my offer of marriage.” He forced his eyes to stay focused on his friend rather than allowing them to shift to Bea.
“You are in love?” Bea asked in surprise.
His eyes met hers as he nodded. “I believe I am.” His heart did not know whether to ache or rejoice at the disappointment he read in her expression. Perhaps there was some hope that she could be swayed from loving his brother to loving him.
“And now for Everett,” said Max. “Is there another Clayton willing to fall?”
Bea attempted to listen to whatever it was that Everett stammered on about being prepared to do his duty and do it happily rather than contemplating the ache in her heart at knowing Graeme loved someone.
Chapter 7
The evening air settled in, cool and refreshing, as the sun began to dip toward the horizon. Bea once again found herself sitting in the garden while the others wandered along the paths at Stratsbury. Tomorrow morning, Felicity and Grace would be leaving for the Abernathys’, and with them, would go Everett and Mr. Shelton — one to attend the house party and the other to his own estate. At the moment, each gentleman had one of her cousins on his arm.
Grace had been undaunted by Mr. Shelton’s answers yesterday morning. In fact, it appeared as if she had taken them as a sort of challenge ─ a call to arms in disabusing the gentleman of his concerns about being ready for marriage and coaxing him to give up his love of the freedom that bachelorhood afforded.
Bea had made it to the middle of the garden before her ankle’s protests had overcome her determination to complete the circuit. Graeme had offered to sit with her while the others walked, but after a few moments of persuasion by Bea, he had continued walking and talking with Max.
She smiled as he turned ever so slightly to look back at her. He was very attentive — he had always been so. Being the eldest of the group of boys by one year, he had always made certain she was safe — even if it meant opposing Max. Max had bristled at the idea of anyone thinking he did not care well enough for his sister, but he had also recognized when Graeme was determined and knew that to push him would only result in a fight — one that Max was likely to lose.
Bea leaned against the back of the bench on which she sat sideways with her legs stretched out on the length of the seat. As she rested her head on her hand, she considered the changes that were to occur in the near future. Her familiar little group was about to splinter and shift.
She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel the disappointment of Everett’s being lost to her. She tried to remember what it was about him that had first drawn her interest, but she could not. She had always just preferred his more serious nature. He had spent many hours reading as a boy and been teased mercilessly by Graeme for doing so. They had that in common.
Graeme had always teased her about her love of reading as well. She shook her head and chuckled. It was not as if Graeme did not read. He did, and he enjoyed the activity to an extent, especially if he could read the piece of literature aloud and in a dramatic fashion. He was more lively than Everett — more like Max in that respect, or her father.
She wrapped a hand around the necklace her father had given her. Even after nine years, she still missed her father dreadfully. Would she ever have a pendant to replace the one he had given her? She sighed. Presently, it seemed unlikely, but the future was unknown. There might yet be someone who would claim her heart as her father had done to her mother’s. How she longed for someone to love her in such a fashion. She allowed herself one more bittersweet moment of contemplation of her father before turning her thoughts back to her group of friends.
Everett would be gone. He would marry Felicity — it was obvious that he would –, and then he would take up his living and begin his own family. He would be near — just down the road a mile or two. But he would have responsibilities that would keep him busy and away from such frequent gatherings as this.
And Graeme? She bit her lip as she considered him. Who would be sitting here with him? Who was it that he loved? She blew out a great breath as the pain of that thought threatened to crush her. She should have known he would find a lady who would capture his heart, but neither he nor Everett, who had been in town for the season with Graeme, had mentioned anyone in particular. That absence of comment had made the announcement of his being in love quite shocking. If she had but some indication that her friend was to leave her, she might have been able to face such news without this sadness.
She shook her head and brushed a tear away from the corner of her eye. She was being foolish
. He would still be here at Stratsbury. It was not as if he would be truly leaving. His duties were here. However, he would not be so free to meet her in the morning for a ride, and his arm, when strolling in the garden, would always be claimed by someone else.
Change was inevitable. Bea knew this to be true, but the truth of the fact did not make the acceptance of the changes to come any easier.
She, herself, would one day be expected to marry. She knew she could not live forever with Max, no matter how much she wished it. Her brother would eventually take a wife, and there would be new Tierneys to occupy the chairs in the schoolroom and fill the bedrooms at Heathcote.
Max had set money aside for her to have a season, and though she did not relish the idea of going to town, she knew she would have to endure it — for his sake. She was practical enough to know that her greatest chance of securing a good husband would be in those crowded ballrooms of town.
“You promised the rest would be refreshing, but I did not expect you to sleep.”
Bea jumped, and her eyes popped open at Max’s comment. She had not heard anyone approaching. “Where are the others?” she asked.
“Graeme grew weary of listening to Grace,” Max replied with a laugh.
“She never stops speaking,” Graeme muttered. “Shelton can suffer without us bearing witness to it.”
“You are a strange friend.” Bea swung her legs off the bench and accepted Max’s help in rising.
“Shelton would do the same,” Graeme said in defense of his actions. “Are you tired? Did we wake you?” Truth be told, Graeme had not wished to spend more time away from Bea than was necessary, but he was concerned that he had, in his quest to see his own desires satisfied, taken from her a much-needed respite.
“No, I was not sleeping, although I cannot honestly say I am not a trifle fatigued.” She smiled at him. “I do not say it to complain or to disparage, but I am looking forward to the quiet that shall be restored to Heathcote on the morrow.”
Graeme chuckled. He could well imagine how trying it was to have a talkative lady such as Grace around all the time. “So, you are well?”
“You looked distraught,” Max prodded.
“I was merely pondering life,” Bea replied. “We are on the cusp of a new place in our lives. We are children no longer.”
Max wrapped an arm around his sister’s shoulders. “No, we are not children, but the future does not need to be bleak.”
“Oh, it is not; I am sure. Many good things will happen. I am only grieving what has been.” She rested her head against Max’s shoulder. “I have decided to go to town for the season.”
“You have?” Graeme asked in surprise. “But you do not like large crowds.” Graeme’s heart beat a bit faster as he realized she must have given up her hopes regarding Everett.
Bea sighed and nodded. “You know me well,” she agreed. “However, if I am not to be a spinster and a burden to my brother as well as a disappointment to my mother, I will have to endure the masses.”
“Mother will be pleased to hear it,” said Max, “but I will not mention it to her until after our cousins have left. I do not wish to listen to their peals of delight and have things twisted in such a fashion that we end up having to take a house with them for three months!”
“I would rather be a spinster,” Bea said between giggles.
“I would rather that as well,” Max agreed with a shudder. “But it will not happen. You are not the sort of lady to go unloved. Indeed, you have never lacked for a partner at an assembly.”
“You are my brother, so you tend to see me in a better light than others.”
“No, he has the right of it,” Graeme said. “And I have several seasons of ladies with whom to compare you. You shine as brightly as any of them.”
“Are you certain you do not wish to court my sister?” Max asked with a smirk.
“This is the thanks I get for supporting your claim?” Graeme hoped the burning of his ears was not noticeable in the growing shadows. “May I not say something flattering without an ulterior motive? Or are you just desperate to be rid of her?”
Max laughed. “I would gladly keep her forever, and I suppose it is not fair to continue to tease you about such things. But you must know, I would be happy to give her to you — not because I wish to be rid of her, but because you have always cared so well for her. And you do suit each other. Your less serious nature balances well with Bea’s tendency to ruminate and draw terrible conclusions. Oof,” he blew out a breath as his sister’s elbow made contact with his side. “You do tend to think of the direst result,” he protested.
“I consider the consequences so that I can avoid the direst results,” Bea protested.
“She has a point,” agreed Graeme. “She kept us from disaster more than once.”
Max could not deny it, for even though Bea was a good number of years younger than either her brother or Graeme, she had been the one to point out what devastating results some of their boyhood plans might have had.
“I would like to retire to the library for a while,” Bea said as they approached the house. “My cousins are departing tomorrow, and I shall once again have time and quiet in which to read.”
“I will inform your mother,” Graeme said, “and I will come to collect you when she says I must.” And, he added to himself, after he had found his brother and had an important conversation regarding Bea.
“Try to convince her that an hour would be perfect.”
“I promise nothing, but I will do my best,” he said with a bow and grin before leaving she and Max to find their way to the library.
“You do not need to stay with me,” she said as they reached the door. “I shall be well, and I promise not to climb any ladders. The books I wish to read are all within reaching distance with my feet flat on the floor.”
“You will not be lonely? You have just spent time sitting alone in the garden. I feel guilty leaving you again.” And he did look as if he felt a great deal of guilt. Her brother liked to have a good time, but he was not one to shirk his responsibilities without feeling the weight of such an offense.
“I asked you to leave me in the garden, and I am asking you to leave me now. You should not feel guilty for doing as I request.” She placed her hand on his cheek. “You are an excellent brother.” The comment earned her the smile, as well as the solitude, she sought.
She hobbled to the far end of the library to where a group of chairs sat near a window that had been opened to take advantage of the evening air. The book of verses she wished to read was on the shelf just to the left of the window. She located it and another that stood beside it on the shelf and took them to the chair closest to the fresh air. She lit the lamp on the table as the light from the window was fading, and she would need greater light by which to read. With a sigh, she settled into the chair, tucking herself into the corner of its wing and propping her feet on the footstool that stood in front of it.
Thus she sat, engrossed in the poet’s descriptions of the peak district for many minutes. Indeed, she had read several poems before her attention was drawn to the window and a rustling and whispering just below it.
She sat quietly, straining to hear what or who might be outside. A giggle floated softly into the room, followed by a low masculine voice, and then silence. As noiselessly as she was able, Bea crept to the window and peeked out to see which of her cousins was in the garden.
She quickly covered her mouth with her hand to catch a gasp as she spotted Felicity and Everett wrapped in what appeared to be a rather passionate embrace. Her heart jumped and skittered to a quicker pace, but it did not ache — not as she expected it should. Everett was lost to her as she had expected he was, but the realization of such a truth did not bring tears to her eyes or a sensation of being crushed as she had feared it would when the inevitable could be denied no longer. Curious that.
She returned to her book, but her mind would not contemplate the words on the page. It instead wished to consider wh
y her heart had not been more affected. Perhaps it was that she had prepared herself well enough for this moment, or perhaps it was that she did not actually love Everett Clayton with the sort of love that drove one to slay dragons and best knights.
There was a bit more rustling outside the window and fading giggles that spoke of Felicity being returned to the house. How the two lovers had been able to escape the house when there were so many eyes to watch them was puzzling to Bea.
“Everett.”
Bea leaned her head toward the window.
“I have been looking for you,” said Graeme.
Ah, so Everett and Felicity’s absence had not gone unnoticed.
Bea closed her book and stacked it atop the one on her lap. She should move to a place where she would not be tempted to listen to the conversation outside. She placed her books on the table and picked up the lamp, but she did not move as the discourse below her caught her ear.
Graeme apparently knew what his brother had been about in the garden and was scolding him. Her lips curled into a smile. It was rare for Graeme to scold Everett about impropriety. Graeme had often been the receiver of such chiding.
Bea moved the lamp to a table near another set of chairs and returned to retrieve her books.
“So you never thought of Bea as more than Max’s sister?”
Bea paused and waited to hear Everett’s reply to Graeme’s question. She knew she should not listen, but her curiosity would not allow her to do what was proper until she heard his response.
“No, never,” Everett replied.
Bea’s breath caught. It did hurt a bit to know that her love, such that it was, was never returned and had never had a hope of being requited. But the pain was the just result of doing as she knew she should not. Bea moved quickly away from the window but not rapidly enough to miss Graeme’s next words.
