“You know you have a place to stay at the house,” he tells me, and I nod slowly. He’s never been affectionate toward me. He’s been nice, friendly enough, but this is different, and I wonder if it’s because my dad left that he’s perhaps feeling like he needs to step into that role.
“Thank you. I didn’t think she’d give me an ultimatum.” I was shocked my mother was so angry about it. I knew she wasn’t a fan of Rogue, and I knew why, but for her to tell me not to come home just because I wanted to see if he was okay was surprising.
“Your mother is dealing with a lot.” Snake’s voice is low, a whisper. “There are things that you might not understand yet.”
“Then why doesn’t she tell me? I’m old enough; I’m eighteen. I don’t need to be coddled all the time.” A few guys look our way, and I realize my voice has risen in frustration. When I was younger, mom always tried to hide the fact that Dad was in a motorcycle club and she wouldn’t tell me about the things he did. But I would overhear them fighting about it. I knew a long time ago what the club entailed. But I still loved my dad. I knew he wouldn’t do something if it didn’t warrant it.
As the thought dawns on me, I wonder how I can even think like that. Would my love change for him if I knew he killed someone? I’m not sure. Maybe. But then again, if Rogue had killed a man, the same one who tried to hurt me, I don’t think I’d be angry with him.
Devlin. His name is a memory in my mind. When he told me his real name, there was a rawness to his admission. When his dad saunters in, I draw my gaze up to meet his dark eyes. He looks so much like Rogue, only older, with gray in his dark hair. There are creases at his eyes and the corners of his mouth, hinting at his age.
“Thank you for being here, Trinity,” he says as he settles on the other side of me. I’m sandwiched between two strong men, both fatherly figures in my life. Even though I don’t know Rogue’s dad very well, there’s a kindness in his eyes.
I offer him a nod before answering, “I had to be.”
“I guess it’s time we officially met,” he tells me while holding out his hand. “I’m Breaker, otherwise known as Rogue’s dad.”
Accepting his offered hand, I can’t help but notice the strength in his grip. We shake, and I find myself smiling at him. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Snake stands, capturing my attention. “Smoke,” is the only thing he says and heads out the door, leaving me alone with Rogue’s dad. We sit in comfortable silence for a long while.
“He likes you,” he says from beside me, but he’s not looking at me. His attention is on the doors hiding his son from view. “I haven’t seen him so passionate about someone. There have been girls, but nobody who stuck around.” When those familiar dark eyes lock on me again, I see the honesty in his admission.
“I like him too,” I whisper as the tears once again burn as they threaten to fall. I’ve allowed my emotions to show today for the first time in a long while. “I haven’t ever had someone who was there for me. I mean, someone who wasn’t my folks. Larkin is my best friend, but guys have always been a mystery to me. My focus was on school.”
“And that’s a good thing,” Breaker says with a nudge of my shoulder. “Don’t throw your future away for anyone. Not even my son. There’s always time for falling in love, but your educational future is more important.”
“What if the future includes love?” I ask. “I’m not saying I love him, but I do care about him a lot more than I figured I would.”
Breaker looks over at me, a small grin tilting his lips. “Is that because you thought he was dying, or because there are true emotions in your heart?”
For a moment, I ponder the question. “Can it be a mixture of both? Because when you care about someone, doesn’t your pain force you to realize just how much they mean to you?” I challenge. There were times my dad would end up in the emergency room, and Mom would be beside herself. It was the only way I knew they still loved each other. Most other times, they would be at each other’s throats over some thing or the other.
“You’re very perceptive,” Breaker says. “There are times—”
The doors whoosh open, interrupting him as the doctor heads our way. Both of us rise to meet the woman who looks to be about my mom’s age. Her hair is covered by a light blue cap, and she’s still wearing scrubs.
“Mr. Murphy?”
“Yes,” Breaker says, his voice tight with anxiousness as we stand side by side. His hand finds mine, and I swallow back the lump in my throat at the action.
“Your son is out of immediate danger, but we would like to keep him here for a few days to watch him. The bullet missed his lung by a few millimeters, it was close.” She glances between us and offers me a small smile. “Also, he’s still asleep, but you’re welcome to go in and see him. He will most probably hear you but can’t respond just yet.”
“Can she come in with me?” Breaker asks, looking at me before meeting the questioning gaze of the doctor.
“Usually it’s only immediate—”
“She’s his girlfriend, and I’d like her there,” he insists, which has the doctor nodding slowly. “Thank you.” She turns, gesturing for us to follow. With a quick glance over my shoulder, I lock my gaze on Snake, who’s watching with curiosity burning in his green eyes.
The beep of machines pierces my ears when we step into the room. Sunshine streams through the slats of the blinds, and when I look to the bed, my breath catches at seeing Rogue lying there plugged into a machine which is helping him breathe.
“Are you okay with this?” Breaker asks, looking down at me, his brows furrowing together. “I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to be here. I’m sorry.”
“No, I do. I mean, I’m fine. I just . . .” My words trail off as I try to find the words, but I can’t. My lungs struggle to pull in air as I look at the man who’s holding onto my hand as if he needs me here more than I need to be here.
“Then we’ll do this together.” His assurance calms my erratic heartbeat as we walk toward the bed. I’m not sure I can do this, but when I near Rogue and see the scars on his hands and arms, I want nothing more than to heal him, to be there for him.
His lashes flutter. His lip ring is still in place, which is surprising, and his inked arms are bare in the pastel blue hospital gown they’ve dressed him in. The silence hangs heavily in the air, and I can’t stop myself from reaching for his hand.
The moment I touch him, tears trickle from my eyes.
It’s a strange feeling knowing someone for such a short time yet being so tethered to them. To him. I’m not sure if it’s wrong or right, but just holding him grounds me somewhat.
And I don’t want to ever lose that feeling.
14
Trinity
I’ll never forget how it feels to say goodbye. The neverending pain that lances your chest as you try not to break down. It’s been hours, two long days waiting for Rogue to wake, and even though Mom has been here, trying to get me to leave, Snake has supported my choice to stay, which has only pissed Mom off even more.
I understand her concern. I am young. Never once have I doubted her love for me and her need to protect me, but at some point, she does need to let go, just a bit. Mom needs to allow me to live, to choose, to make my own mistakes. And if Rogue is not my happily ever after, that’s fine, sort of, but I need to make that decision.
Now if only she’d listen to me when I try to tell her that.
“Hey.” The croaky voice startles me, causing my gaze to snap up to find Rogue staring at me. His dark eyes so familiar, which makes my heart fill with happiness that he’s looking at me again.
The lump in my throat threatens to choke me. Relief takes a hold of me seeing him alive, awake. “Hey.”
“You look gorgeous,” he tells me in a hushed whisper. His mouth tilting into an almost-playful smile.
My cheeks warm, and I can’t help but grin. “You look tired.”
“Almost dead here,” he teases with a croak as he reaches
for my hand, which I happily offer. His fingers tangle with mine.
“I shouldn’t be here,” I tell him. “My mom wanted me to leave, but . . .”
Rogue’s grin widens as he regards me in amusement. “Did the good girl do something bad for a change?” The laughter in his tone has me giggling. But when he coughs, I panic, watching him wince in pain, and I wish I could take it away. Make him feel better.
“I should go.”
“No.” The word is hoarse, raspy in his throat. His eyes flutter closed, and I settle in and wait. I won’t leave his side until I know he’s doing better. Watching him sleep is new, strange, but in a good way.
There’s a small smile curling his lips as if he’s dreaming of something that makes him happy. And I wonder what it could be. I shift so I’m comfortable, or as comfortable as I can get in this chair and close my eyes to join him in slumber.
A noise drags me from a dreamless sleep and I find dark eyes piercing me. “An angel.” His stare seems to look right to the soul of me, and I wonder just what Rogue is doing to me. Perhaps this is what Mom was so worried about.
“Not really.” His fingers curl around mine, holding me tight, as if I’m a lifeline he needs to heal from his wounds. “How are you feeling?”
“Water?”
I push to my feet and grab the plastic cup, filling it up with cool water from the jug, and bring it to Rogue with a bendy straw propped on the side. He takes a few small sips before settling back with a scrunch to his face.
I ask, “Did you want the nurse?”
He shakes his head. “No. Just you.”
“I guess I can stay since you asked so nicely, also, I have to remind you that you’re late for our seven o’clock date,” I tease, causing him to grin.
“I’ll make it . . .” His words falter, before he finds his voice again. “I’ll make it up to you.”
I lean in, pressing a kiss to his cheek before whispering, “Just get better. But I do have to go or my mom is going to lock me in my room forever.”
“Told you, bad boy with a good girl is only an equation for trouble.” Even though he says it, he doesn’t release my hand. His fingers hold on tight, causing the butterflies to flutter in my stomach, which only makes me smile wider.
I want to respond, but I can’t find the words to tell him just how much I want to try this. To be his. But he made it clear that he’s not a forever type of guy. And I should not be thinking about a relationship at eighteen.
“Hey,” Rogue says, catching my attention, drawing me back to the present. “You’re mine,” he tells me. “I don’t give a shit if I’m bad, and you being a good girl only makes me want you more, so don’t you fucking doubt us.”
The confidence in both his voice and his stare sends my heart pitter-pattering wildly in my chest. He doesn’t falter in his gaze, and he doesn’t smile, giving me the allusion that he’s telling the truth.
“My mother will kill me.”
“I’m not saying we’re going to get married today, or tomorrow, but I can’t stay away from you. The moment my eyes opened, it was you I was praying I’d see,” Rogue insists with a squeeze of my hand.
“I thought you were more of a rogue rather than a gentleman,” I tease, causing him to laugh, which only leads to a coughing fit that has me feeling guilty. “I better go get the doctor,” I tell him before standing, but Devlin holds onto my hand, tugging me closer.
“I think since I almost died, I should be able to request something,” he says, his voice turning serious as he looks into my eyes, ensuring I’m stuck in place. I arch a brow, tipping my head to the side as I wait for him to continue. “I want a kiss.”
“You’re not well.”
“I know, and I think if your lips touched mine, I’d possibly heal far quicker than anyone anticipates,” Devlin taunts me, tugging me until our faces are inches apart. “Come on, little spy, you know you can’t resist my charm.”
“You’re far too confident.”
“That’s why you like me.” And then his lips are on mine, and time stills. I can’t focus on anything other than the feel of his warm lips on mine, the way his tongue delves into my mouth, seeking more, tasting me just like I’m devouring him. A groan of pleasure rumbles in his throat, and I have to pull away because if I spend another moment kissing him, I’m certain these machines will explode. “There. I feel so much better now.”
“You’re impossible.” I laugh just as the door opens, and Breaker saunters in with a mug of coffee for me, and he sees his son.
“You’re awake.”
“Just opened my eyes and found this beauty staring at me,” Rogue tells his dad.
Breaker hands me my coffee before settling in the chair on the other side of his son’s bed. “You’re a lucky man. She hasn’t left your side since they allowed us to visit.” His dark eyes find mine, and the smile on his lips tells me he’s happy I’m here for his son. Thankfully, one of our parents is happy.
“I should go shower and freshen up,” I tell them. “I’ll leave you both to it.” I turn and head for the door, feeling both their gazes burning into my back.
“You’re coming back, right?” Rogue queries, his voice croaky. The huskiness trickling over me, and I stop to glance over my shoulder at him. Those deep brown, almost-black eyes lock on mine.
“Yes, I’ll be back.” He seems happy with my response, and I leave them, shutting the door behind me. In the hallway, I find a few of the guys. Most of them have left, but there are still a handful keeping watch. Turns out the man who shot Rogue is still out there, which doesn’t bode well for my anxiety. The thought of him coming here to finish what he started makes me nervous.
Snake walks in, my mother beside him as I near the exit. “Darling,” he greets, pulling me into a hug. “How is he?”
My gaze flicks between Mom and Snake before I respond, “He’s awake. In pain, but he’ll be okay, I’m sure.”
He nods. “Good. I’ll talk to Breaker. I’ll see you later, little miss,” Snake tells me before giving me a wink and leaving me with my mother. It’s the first time in a couple of days since we’ve been alone, in the same vicinity, and my stomach twists with uncertain anxiety.
“Are you coming home?”
“I thought I wasn’t allowed home.” I can’t help but remember my mother’s words. I walked out, and I didn’t look back. The moment I did, I wasn’t sure if I would speak to her again, yet I can’t deny I would miss her if she weren’t here. Just like I miss my dad.
“I was angry.”
“You’ve been angry for a long time, Mom,” I tell her, the honesty causing my throat to tighten, my voice to crack on the last few words. Emotion burns my eyes when I recall what she said to me. “I’m staying at the clubhouse. Snake said I could stay as long as I need.”
“And that’s where you want to stay?” she asks, shock lacing her tone. She knows that Snake is like a second father to me, and I know that she has some strange connection to him. I just never figured it out. When Dad was still here, they would hang out together, drinking and partying, but the moment Dad left, something shifted between Snake and my mother.
“It’s where I think I need to be,” I respond. “For now.” Even though I’m unsure of the future, of what my relationship with my mother will be, perhaps space will allow me to see it more clearly. Anger shouldn’t be what causes decisions to be made, and I wish I could change what happened, what she said, but I can’t. And if I had the choice again, I’d walk out and come to Rogue time and again.
“I don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to like it,” I tell her. “I need to make my own mistakes, Mom. And I need you to understand that.” She looks at me, her hazel eyes softening for a moment before she glances over my shoulder. When I look at what’s caught her gaze, I find Snake standing in the hallway watching us.
“I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made,” she finally responds, catching my attention, bringing it back to her. “But I unders
tand. Your home will always be there when you’re ready to come back.” She spins on her heel, leaving me watching her retreating form.
“Don’t let her worry you,” Snake says when he rejoins me. Standing side by side, his presence calms me somewhat. “She’s just trying to be a good mom.”
I want so much to ask him about their connection, their relationship, but in that moment, I let it slide, just for now. “Can you take me back to the clubhouse? I’d like to shower and change.”
“Yeah, sure, darlin’,” he tells me before he heads off to let the guys know we’re leaving. I’ll be back here soon, and I need to think about what Rogue said about wanting me. If he meant it, I know we’ll have a lot of obstacles in our way before we get to any form of a relationship.
And I’m willing to take the chance. For him, I’ll do it.
15
Rogue
“Fuck!” The pain shoots through my chest, my stomach, and down my left arm. The bastard got me good. My bedroom door flies open, and there, standing on the threshold looking like a deer caught in headlights, is my girl.
“What’s wrong?”
Rolling my eyes, I grit through clenched teeth, “I moved. Needed a piss.”
This time, it’s her whose emerald eyes roll in frustration at my rudeness. It’s been a few days, yet she’s here, ignoring my stupidity and brass personality. “You’re insufferable,” Trinity groans as she helps me to my feet. Even though the painkillers have been working their magic, there are times I refuse to take them, just to feel something other than anger.
The doctor told Dad to give me at least two fucking weeks. That’s too long in my book. I need to get out there and find Lex. I need to go out there and kill the bastard, or I’ll go crazy.
Trinity helps me to the bathroom before walking to the door. And I can’t help but tease her. “Thought you’d want to stay and help me.” I grab my junk, causing her cheeks to flush bright red. She’s been staying in our spare room some nights, and it takes everything in me not to go in there and claim her mouth once more, to feel her body on top of mine, or underneath mine, even if I have to die doing it.
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