by Hart, Emma
“You don’t think it’s too soon?” I chewed on my lower lip.
“To explain to your brother the truth behind what you did?” She raised an eyebrow. “No, Kins. It’s never too soon.”
“Are you sure? You don’t mind me leaving?”
“If you leave, I stand half a chance at leaving myself. Kai has been sitting in the car down the street for the last twenty minutes, but Mom won’t let me go.” She shrugged. “I just want a nap. Seriously, go. And text me later.”
Nodding, I said goodbye to Tori and Holley, stopping to give Ivy a hug around the shoulders as my farewell. It took me at least ten minutes to get through the house. After thanking her parents for having me at a lovely baby shower, I was accosted by almost everyone whose conversations ranged from asking about my relationship with Josh, to saying how sorry they were about yesterday, to asking me how Colton was.
I excused myself as politely as possible every single time, and when I finally extricated myself from the house, I all but ran into my car and locked myself in before anyone else could accost me.
I started the engine and pulled away. Kai was parked at the end of the street, and I pulled up alongside him with a grin and rolled down my window. “She needs rescuing.”
Smirking, he touched two fingers to his temples and saluted me. “On it. I’ll cite an emergency… Like the freezer broke and all the ice cream has melted.”
“Nailed it.”
“You left early. Going to find your brother?”
I nodded. “Have you spoken to him?”
“I headed over to his place last night. He was furious,” he warned me with a meaningful yet sympathetic look. “I told him I had no idea and was just as shocked as he was and he bought it, so don’t throw me under your betrayal bus.”
I flipped him the bird. “I appreciate you leaving him one friend.”
He nodded righteously, but his grin gave him away. “I know. Go easy on him.”
“Well, I wasn’t going to punch him as hard as he punched Josh.”
“He doesn’t regret that, by the way.”
“Yeah, well, Josh thinks he deserves it. They’re both weirdos.”
Kai laughed right as his phone rang. “It’s Ivy. Wanna go so I can get her?”
“Sure. I’ll text her later and let her know how it went.” With a wave, I pulled away from where I was parked against his truck and rejoined the right side of the road.
Whoops.
I hit the button to wind my window back up and turned onto the road that would take me in the direction of Colton’s place. My phone rang as I rolled up to an intersection, and Josh’s name flashed on the screen on my dash. I hit the green button to accept.
“Hey,” I answered. “What’s up?”
“I swear I just saw your car. Aren’t you supposed to be at the baby shower?”
I paused. He saw my car? “You saw my car?”
“Yeah, Grandma wanted some things from the store, and I took a detour to the liquor store because she asked for gin. Apparently, it was the least I could do as my relationship is the reason for her current entertainment.”
I groaned. “Yeah, I just left. I didn’t even notice you.”
“Are you going home?”
“No.” Another pause. “I’m going to Colt’s place.”
“Ah. Okay.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing. Are you sure you want to go so soon?”
“Yeah.” I briefly relayed my conversation with Kai. “He’s my brother, Josh. I can’t eat, I can barely sleep—I need to say my piece whether he wants to hear it or not. He has to hear it and know it wasn’t meant maliciously.”
“I get that. Want to come over when you’re done?”
“I’ll text you. I don’t know how this is going to go.”
“All right, just make sure you do. We’re in this together, babe.”
“I know. I’m nearly there. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Talk to you later.” He hung up before I had a chance to, and I made the final turn onto Colt’s street.
I honestly had no idea if he was at home or not. Even if I’d called, I knew he wouldn’t pick up, so I had no choice but to just show up and hope for the best.
I pulled into the parking lot outside his building. His truck wasn’t there, and my heart sank.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t here, but I wasn’t going to keep coming back every hour to check.
I got out of my car and headed into the building. The stairs were a therapeutic hike up, and I turned off at his floor and stopped outside his door. No sounds came from within, and even though I was aware of the futility of the action, I knocked.
And knocked again.
And again.
Nothing.
I exhaled through my nostrils and leaned against the wall next to his door. Slowly, I slid down it until my butt hit the awful carpet floor of the hallway and I was staring at the plain, magnolia wall opposite.
I guess I was waiting.
***
“I should have fucking known you’d be here.”
I looked up at the sound of Colton’s voice and locked my phone. “I just want to talk to you.”
He grunted and put his key in the door. “I don’t know what you think you can say to me.”
I scrambled up to my feet and held my phone to my stomach. “Come on, Colton. Please.”
“I don’t owe you anything right now,” he said over his shoulder. “I don’t even want to look at you, Kinsley, but I saw Grandpa earlier, and he’s one persuasive bastard, so…” He shoved his front door open and stepped inside, leaving it there for me.
I hesitated for a moment before I followed him inside and pushed it closed behind me.
Colt walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge. He didn’t offer me a drink, nor did I expect one. I was under no illusions that I was a wanted visitor.
The look in his eye as he turned and looked at me was nothing short of chilling.
Ice-cold. Unwelcoming. Pure rage.
While I knew my brother would never hurt me, it didn’t change the fact he probably should have.
He was just using anger to mask his hurt.
He took a long drink from the beer, his lips popping around the bottle top when he released it. “Well? You’re the one who wants to talk. You’re doing a shit job.”
I bit back the snarky response I longed to give. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, well that’s all right then. All is forgiven.”
“Colton.”
“No, no, it’s fine. You and Josh do your thing. Never mind me. Never mind telling me—”
“That wasn’t a decision we made lightly!”
“Oh, we! Is that the royal we, or are you speaking for him now, too?”
“Do you hear yourself?” I took a step forward and threw my arms out to the side. “Do you hear how utterly unreasonable you sound?”
“Unreasonable?” He raised his eyebrows and slammed down his beer. “You know what’s unreasonable, sis? Unreasonable is my little sister and best friend not having the fucking decency to tell me they’ve decided to fuck each other on a regular basis. It’s leaving me to find out by the ancient grapevine at a fucking duck parade, of all places. A fucking duck parade.”
“You say that like it was by choice!”
“It was by choice!” He slammed his hands flat on the kitchen island and glared at me, a vein throbbing in his neck. “You made the choice not to be honest with me! You had to know someone would find out about you screwing each other and—”
“Listen to yourself! Fucking this and screwing that!” I fisted my hair and threw my arms out in defeat. “You’re so mad over a situation that you perceive to be true that you can’t even listen to me for thirty seconds!”
“I don’t need to listen to you!” he yelled.
“Yes, you do!” I shouted back even louder. “It’s not sex, Colton!”
He flinched.
“But you
won’t listen. You won’t let me tell you what’s happening or explain myself!” I rubbed my hands over my face. “You know what? This was a mistake. I can’t—I can’t talk to you if you’re not going to listen to me.”
I turned and stalked toward the door, my heart churning with a chronic ache I felt everywhere.
“Look, I get it,” I said, gripping the door handle and following the grain of the wood with my eyes. “I get that you’re angry. I understand that you feel like we conspired against you, but I didn’t ask for this to happen, and neither did Josh. We didn’t plan for this to happen. This isn’t just a fling, Colt. This is real.” I dipped my head and looked at the floor. “I have a lot of feelings for him. Real feelings. Ones that scare me a lot. And I think I might—I might even be falling in love with him.”
Silence.
He didn’t respond. Didn’t even clear his throat or shuffle a foot.
My throat tightened. “But you’re my brother. And if this hurts you that much, if this really, really hurts you, then none of that really matters. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, Colt.”
Tears stung the back of my eyes as I opened the door.
“Shut the fucking door, Kinsley.”
I did.
Behind me.
I swiped at my cheeks and barely registered the opening of his apartment door. His arms on my shoulders was a little too much to miss, and he swept me around and into his apartment.
Where he slammed the door, then wrapped me up in a huge hug with my face pressed into his chest.
And he let me cry, even though he was the one who was hurting.
But was he?
Was it only him?
Judging by the tears that were escaping my eyes and soaking his shirt, it wasn’t. I could be both happy and sad at the same time, and that was okay. I was allowed to be conflicted by the way I felt, but I just hated that I was discovering this right in front of Colton when he was the person I was trying to comfort.
“All right, stop this,” he grunted. “Crying won’t fix anything.”
“I know, but I feel awful.”
“I know you do, Kins.” My brother released me and looked at me. “I just—I was shocked. And to find out from fucking Agatha and Mabel was a punch in the gut.”
“I’m sorry. We were going to tell you, I swear.”
“But you didn’t.” Colt’s voice was gentle despite the bite in it. “You didn’t tell me, Kins, and that really fucking hurts. Honesty isn’t too much to ask for.”
I wrapped my arms around my stomach and looked at him. “I was going to, but I chickened out every time. I was so afraid of hurting you that it was easier to just… not,” I admitted. “Josh—”
“Josh can tell me himself,” he said with an edge. “He’s man enough to go behind my back and start seeing you. He’s man enough to justify his own position.”
Slowly, I nodded. I knew that, and I also knew that they had to have this conversation themselves. There was no way of getting out of that.
“You’re not gonna punch him again, are you?”
Colt looked a little sheepish for a moment. “Nah. He has a free shot at my jaw when he wants it.”
He even smiled.
“Are we okay?”
He wrapped me in another hug. “I’m pissed, Kinsley. I’m pissed you didn’t feel like you could tell me. I’m pissed he broke a promise he made. I’m pissed everyone but me seemed to know about your relationship, but you aren’t responsible for that. Those are my feelings to work through.”
“I am responsible. I caused them.”
“But you didn’t set out to hurt me, and knowing your dating track record, it’s not like you magically seduced him one random evening.”
I punched him lightly in the side and stepped back, sniffing. I wiped my cheeks to remove any remnants of tears now that I’d stopped crying.
“I really am sorry.”
“I know you are.” He walked back into the open plan kitchen and grabbed his beer. “Kins, what you said. Before you left.”
“What?”
He stared at the island counter. “You said you might be falling in love with him. Then you said it didn’t matter if I’m hurting.”
I swallowed, staring at a spot over his head. “I don’t want you to be hurting by this.”
“I am, Kinsley. And I’m going to hurt.” He looked at me. “But reconciling those feelings is my own issue, not yours. And if you were insinuating that you were going to end things with Josh because of me, then I might just punch you, too.”
I jerked my gaze down to him. “What?”
“My feelings are my own.” He said the words firmly, like he was speaking to a child. “Any hurt I feel now is temporary. I’ll get over it, and the anger doesn’t come from the fact you think you’re falling in love with my best friend.”
My cheeks warmed.
“In fact, there’s nobody I’d trust your heart with more than him.” His voice softened. “But I need time to wrap my head around this, all right? Just give me some time. And that goes for Josh, too.”
“Okay.” I backed toward the front door slowly. “I’ll tell him… What? That you’ll call him when you’re ready?”
“No, tell him I’ll see him at work tomorrow.” His lips twisted wryly to one side. “And that I’m going to fucking ignore the bastard.”
For the first time in what felt like all day, I fought a smile. “Duly noted.” I opened the front door and paused, looking back over my shoulder. “And, Colt?”
“Mm?”
“I’m sorry about Amber,” I said honestly. “But your house looks amazing, and I’m really happy for you.”
“Oh, yeah.” He lifted his beer. “Can’t wait to see you do the walk of shame from Josh’s front door on a regular basis.”
“Oh, shut your ass.” I slammed the door behind me, but that exchange was apparently enough to fully thaw the ice, because his laughter rang through the door and filled the hallway with a warmth that made me smile.
Maybe this would be okay after all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR – KINSLEY
rule twenty-four: honesty is the best policy.
unless you ate the last cupcake. then lie.
“What did you do?” Holley looked at Saylor, aghast, over the top of her laptop.
Saylor touched one of her Princess Leia-style buns. “You don’t like it?”
“But you’re not blonde anymore!”
No, no, she was not.
Her hair was now bubblegum pink.
Maybe that break-up had affected her more than I’d thought…
Then again, it was a break-up, she was a woman… We did wild stuff after those.
“No shit,” Saylor drawled. “You must have had your coffee this morning to notice that.”
“I like it,” I said, admiring the tasteful shade of pink that coated every last previously blonde strand. “It’s very you.”
Holley looked at me. “Obnoxious and in your face?”
“Thank you for noticing,” Saylor said brightly, sitting on the table and swinging her legs. “I like it and that’s all that matters.”
“You’re welcome for the compliment.” I rolled my eyes and put the last sale sticker on the book on my pile. We had some old stock that needed clearing before the holiday books hit the shelves, and since we were at the very tail end of tourist season, we’d decided now was the perfect time.
“Thank you, princess,” Saylor snarked. “Anything I can do to help?”
“Yes, rein your attitude in and hang this in the window as you do so.” Holley shoved a huge, rolled up sheet of paper toward her and adjusted her glasses. She’d run out of contacts and wasn’t happy about it. “It’s the sale poster.”
“I guess that means I have to redo my board,” I said sadly. “I like that bear.”
Saylor grabbed the poster and the tape. “Your bear looks like it got in a fight with Mike Tyson and lost.”
“I take back my compliment about yo
ur hair.”
“I am trying to concentrate,” Holley sang.
“On what?” I grabbed the stack of books and carried them over to where she’d been diligently working on her laptop for the last hour.
“Our online store.” She said the words very carefully, never looking up from the screen. “Winter is always a little slow, and although we get by, there’s nothing wrong with expanding our horizons.”
“I was wondering when we’d finally enter the twenty-first century,” Saylor said, jumping back from the window. “I have ideas for that.”
“You do?” I looked at her. “Like what?”
“Mystery book boxes. Like a subscription where people sign up and fill out a questionnaire and each month we send them a new release that fits their likes, but they won’t know which book until they get it.”
Holley held up a finger, then set it on the trackpad, moved, and typed furiously. “Word document,” she said, answering our silent questions.
A lightbulb dinged in my brain. “Oh, hey, I actually had an idea a couple of weeks ago. We could sell merchandise, too. Like t-shirts and sweaters and mugs and stuff. We’re always buying stuff, so we know there’s a market for it.”
“I love that!”
Say clicked her tongue. “Yeah, but none of us can do design work.”
“Tori,” I answered.
Holley nodded. “She did the bones of the website for me. In fact, she set it up so all I have to do is add the products.”
Say wrinkled her nose. “Do we have to pay her?”
“Free books.”
I laughed and moved the sale books to the tall display table they were going on by the door. “There we go, then. Free books for Tori, free merchandise design for us.”
“I’d take free books,” Say acquiesced. “And I do like the idea of clothing. Can we sell that here, too?”
“I don’t see why not with a few mannequins,” Holley answered. “I bet we could get some cheap from eBay. I’ll write it down and take a look at everything tonight. The store is nearly done, but that’s my priority.” She leaned back and stretched her fingers out in front of her, popping her knuckles as she did so.
Saylor shuddered at the sound. “You’re so weird. Hey, did you see that Sebastian is coming back home?”
