Fin looked down at me, a proud smirk twisting his lips. “You are busy,” he murmured. He went back to nuzzling my neck, kissing me again but lighter, slower kisses, the original desperation gone.
“Ellie!” Britte shouted, a bit frantically.
“Ok, thanks, B!” I called back but my voice was hoarse from sleep.
“God, you sound sexy,” Fin rumbled against my throat. His shadow of a beard was scratchy against my skin, abrading it with each movement of his face, but I found that I loved the feeling of it, loved how I could feel where his skin had been touching mine.
“Fin,” I whispered, refusing to believe he had to go.
“I’m leaving, but only because Beckett would never accept us if he found me here like this,” he sounded so responsible. So…. hopeful. “I’ll call you later.”
And then he was off me and sitting at the edge of the bed. He straightened his t-shirt and then reached down for his shoes.
“You work today?” he asked from over his shoulder.
“Yes, it’s my Sunday shift,” I explained. I was a little shell-shocked after spending the night in Fin’s arm and the morning make-out session in which I did none of the kissing.
“Get next Sunday off,” he ordered plainly, as if I wouldn’t argue with him.
“I don’t know if I can, it’s kind of late-“
“If you can’t get it off, I’ll talk to Ty.” He stood up and looked down at me with those heated eyes, his jaw fixed and his expression fixed into the one I knew better than to argue with.
“Ok, bossy,” I rolled my eyes and sat up. The consequences of what just happened seamed to roll over me in waves. I knew I had to stay away from Fin, but I kept torturing myself with him over and over.
Fin narrowed his eyes at me. “We’re going to talk later,” he promised in that same authoritative tone.
“Fin, I don’t think that’s a good-“
He cut me off again, “We will talk later.”
Stubbornly, I continued, “We just need to remember we’re friends. I think it’s safest if we-“
“We’ve never been friends, Ellie. Stop that thought right now.” He leaned down then and shut me up by kissing me quickly but passionately on the lips. I was effectively silenced. And then, forever getting the last word in, he whispered sweetly, “We will talk later.”
I could do nothing but nod, even while I wondered if I had somehow given up all control of my life to him.
Given my heart to him.
Chapter Seventeen
I walked into Bailey’s still in a daze. Beckett had come over, not ten minutes after Fin left. I wanted to feel relief that they didn’t run into each other, but I was inexplicably disappointed. I had the irrational desire to introduce Fin as “not my friend,” even though I didn’t know what that meant.
“Hi, Beckett, this is Fin. He’s not my friend. We’re going to talk about that later. Oh, and don’t mind that our clothes are wrinkled and it’s obvious we spent the night wrapped in each other’s arms. That’s just part of our non-friendship. Also, as a side note, I owe him seven thousand dollars that he thinks I lost in online poker, but I didn’t really.”
Yeah, that sounded about right.
I clocked in and put my apron on, going about my regular hostess duties. I was the only one scheduled this early in the afternoon. Two other hosts would be coming on closer to dinner service, but I had to make sure everything was set up first.
It would be an easy but busy night. Sunday’s were mostly always the same. The dinner rush was early and heavy and then it would die down and the rest of the night would drag on. Britte usually worked with me, but she requested this weekend off when she knew she would be moving this weekend.
I made sure all the tables were set up with ketchup bottles filled and salt and pepper shakers in working order. I couldn’t stop replaying last night in my head. Fin convincing me my brothers just loved me, spending the night cuddled in his arms, this morning….
Ugh. He was just too perfect. How was I supposed to remember things like my moral integrity when he confused every part of me.
I walked to the back office that was through the stainless steel kitchen. Cooks and expeditors were prepping food while the two dishwashers were stacking clean glasses precariously high. I didn’t know everyone well, but working in a restaurant was like working with extended family. We knew everything about each other and for the most part got along, although gossip flew out of control.
The cooks whistled at me while I walked past and I shot them a flirty wave. They were lecherous and brazen but they were mostly harmless. Plus, everybody wanted to be on their good side, so we all put up with it.
I found Ty alone in his cluttered office, working on the schedule. Papers were stacked in random piles on his desk; his computer was set off to the side, but covered in more papers. The shelves above the desk were heavy with training manuals and videos, and where there weren’t thick binders there were manila folders filled with more paperwork. He looked up at me and gave me a tired smile. Ty was not messy, Ty was regimented and orderly. But he shared this office with two other managers and the owner. I wondered if his exhaustion stemmed from the paperwork tornado as much as anything else.
He seemed too big for this office, his huge, broad shoulders filling out the small space and his tree trunk sized legs not fitting under the desk well at all.
“Hey, Els,” he greeted.
“Hey, Ty,” I smiled back. I didn’t even know what pulled me in here. This morning I had been determined not to let Fin get away with bossing me around. But since then, I wondered if it had something to do with the Sunday dinner I heard him talking to Ty about before. There was hope that he was taking me to meet his family before I could squelch it. And even though I’d been talking myself out of this all day, I was still here. I was still asking.
“How can I help you?” he looked down at the schedule again and frowned.
“Um, I was just wondering if I could have next Sunday off?” I tried to sound casual but Ty’s head snapped up immediately.
“Why?” h demanded.
I wasn’t expecting that question. I didn’t really think it was any of his business. “I just need it off.”
“Does this have something to do with Fin Hunter?” he asked carefully. His eyes narrowed on me and his body went still, alert. I felt like a threat, like I was an enemy or something and he was back in the army deciding how best to deal with me.
My voice shook when I answered, “Yes, it does.”
His tone was hard steel when he asked, “Is he taking you to meet his family?”
“I don’t know. He just told, um, asked me to get Sunday off.”
“Then he’s taking you to his grandma’s. He does one thing on Sundays and that’s spend time with his family.” He softened his voice just a little bit and he relaxed back into his chair. “Did he tell you about them?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“So are you a couple?”
“No,” I replied quickly. When Ty’s eyes narrowed again I realized I answered too quickly. “It’s complicated.”
“Ellie, when I warned you before to stay away from him that was because I knew he could hurt a girl like you. Hurt you deeply. I know he has a reputation, and I know you’re too good of a girl to get mixed up with that. But if he’s taking you home to meet his family then you are one of the only people I know of that has the ability to hurt him. I’m fiercely protective of that boy, so you better tell me how it’s complicated and how you plan to un-complicate it right now.”
I gulped. Oh boy. I was not expecting that at all.
“Close the door and sit down,” Ty commanded.
“But my job-“
Ty pulled something up on the computer quickly, his fingers clacking against the keyboard rapidly. “Stephen just clocked in. You’ll be covered for a while. Now tell me what is going on between the two of you.” He waited for a minute while I gathered my courage and seemed to infer something from
my silence. All of a sudden, he snapped, “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“Oh my gosh! Ty!” I hissed. “You cannot just throw out accusations like that! And no! I’m not pregnant.”
Holy hell, that was going to get back to my brothers somehow.
“Alright, you’re not pregnant. Then tell me what’s going on.”
So I did. I started with my terrible roommate and identity theft and how Fin needed money and he thought I owed it to him. I told him how we worked out a deal, and I’d been scrimping and saving for the last four weeks just to save up something for him because I couldn’t go to my family. When he gave me the stink eye for my stubbornness I explained a truth I hadn’t realized until that morning. I didn’t go to my family at first because I didn’t want their help, but lately I realized I would do anything to help Fin. Now I didn’t go to them because I didn’t want them to think badly of Fin. I didn’t want them to look down on his online poker game when all he was doing was trying to provide a better life for his family and I didn’t want them to look down on him for demanding money from me when it would be so clear to them that it wasn’t my debt to begin with. Now I didn’t ask for help because I was protecting Fin. I finished my story with how close we’d gotten through this whole thing, and how we both wanted more but the money was standing in the way.
“So why doesn’t he just erase the debt?” Ty asked at the end of it.
“I won’t let him. If he cancels the debt because he wants to sleep with me, then that means I sold out for seven thousand dollars. I can’t, Ty. I would never respect myself and neither would he.”
“But it sounds like he wants more than sex,” Ty observed.
I blushed deeply; this was a weird conversation to have with my boss.
“He’s never said that to me,” I argued. “And I wouldn’t want to have more anyway. He graduates in a month, and his whole life revolves around taking care of Declan. I don’t want to get in the way of that. Besides, I’m a mess, a walking disaster. I don’t even know what I want to major in yet and next year I’ll be a junior. I’m not good for him.”
“What you’re trying to tell me right now is you’re not good enough for him.” My breath hitched in my throat at his words. I’d been ignoring those thoughts and feelings, but now that Ty just laid them out there for me I couldn’t help but agree that they were true. “Listen, Ellie, I know your ex-boyfriend messed you up-“
“No, he didn’t,” I interrupted. “I don’t care about Colton.”
“Eleanor, you dated him for a long time, five years or something.”
“Three,” I interrupted again but I felt the heaviness of what he was saying.
He nodded his head like he was allowing my insight of information. “Now, I don’t know if you loved him or not, but three years is a long time. And the boy treated you poorly and then he did wrong by you. That messes with a girl’s self-esteem. But you need to understand that you allowed Colton to happen in your life and you allowed that to continue. It’s not your fault that he cheated on you, that boy lost the best thing that could have ever happened to him. But all his misdeeds messed with your head. And it’s up to you now whether you’re going to allow Fin to happen to you, or if you’re going to shut him down and allow this pattern of unworthy boys and heartache to continue to happen to you.”
Ty’s words were like an ice cold bucket of reality thrown over my head and I really wanted to resent him for them. But I couldn’t. He was right. “So you’re saying I have low self-esteem and my only option for happiness is to date Fin? Otherwise I’m going to date losers for the rest of my life?” Even though I believed everything Ty was saying I couldn’t get the disbelief out of my tone.
“I’m saying, that you have strong feelings for Fin. And Fin, obviously has very, very strong feelings for you, otherwise he wouldn’t be pursuing this hard. If you turn your back on something that could be good, really, really good for both of you, then you’re telling the universe you don’t want good things. You’ll settle for subpar. You’ll settle for being hurt.”
I couldn’t stop my head from rearing back. Was Ty right?
“What happened to just working on me for a little bit?” I grasped at straws.
“Ellie, if you can’t see what a great man Fin Hunter is, and how good he would treat you then maybe you don’t deserve him,” I opened my mouth to protest but he held up his hand and so I just listened. “He has been to hell and back more than once in his life. He doesn’t let people in easily and he doesn’t trust others ever. Everyone important in his life has let him down at some point or the other except for his grandmother and his brother. He has walls so thick I didn’t think anything could get through them. But then there’s you. And he’s invited you to family dinner at his grandmother’s house. And you’re not sure if you can let go of your pride long enough to even consider what this boy is offering to you.” Tears pricked at my eyes, my heart breaking for Fin all over again. “And Ellie, if Fin is offering his heart to you, it’s just a formality because believe me when I say you already have it.”
Those words hung in the air between us with so much weight I didn’t think I would be able to breathe through them.
“Ok, but what about the fact that he doesn’t believe me about Tara? He still thinks I’m the one that lost all that money.” It was my last defense, my last hope to come out of this unscathed.
“Sweetheart, do you really think Fin would let you get that close if he still believed you’re the one that ripped him off? Hell, he might never have believed it. Maybe he just wanted to keep you around.”
Something about that resonated so true with me; I actually jumped from the way my heart slammed into my chest.
I swiped at a tear and mumbled, “Geez, Ty, when did you get to be such a romantic.”
“I’m not,” he huffed. “I just care for those kids.”
“Why? How did you get to know them?”
“I served with his dad in Afghanistan. I was there when he died. He regretted every day I knew him how he abandoned his kids, but he admitted he wasn’t man enough to do anything about it. He ran from how hard it was, while his first born son stayed to take over his job. Colin wasn’t a bad man apart from what he did to his family, but he was lost. And he punished himself every day. While he was dying he begged me to do the job that he couldn’t, made me promise to look after his family. I said I would, of course. Colin died as a man filled with bitter regrets, I knew I could never let myself become like that. But when I got here, I realized his family didn’t need me to take care of them, they had Fin.”
I was full on crying now, a big sobbing mess.
“Fin’s been single-minded since the day I met him. I didn’t think anything could penetrate those thick defenses he’s built around him. But then it seems, there is you.”
I sniffled. “You really trust him? You trust that I’m more than a hook-up?”
“Has he ever made you feel like that’s all you would be? I know you’ve only known him a short time, but Ellie, you have to see what I do. You have to know by now that there is so much more to him than that.”
In a shaky but confident voice I whispered, “I do.”
“Good,” Ty grunted. “Alright, now are you going to be able to finish your shift tonight or am I going to have to call in a replacement?”
“Good grief,” I groaned. “I’m fine. You’re the one that’s all emotional.” I grinned through watery eyes since that was not at all true. Even though I knew Ty’s feelings for Fin and his family ran deep, he still was as stoic as ever.
“Get out of here, go do your job,” he shooed me away but not before I caught a hint of a smile.
I wiped at my eyes and obeyed. Back on the floor I casually walked to the bathroom to fix my face before joining Steve at the host stand. We were working with another high school girl tonight, Katie. Hopefully he would hit on her the whole night.
“What’s up gorgeous?” Steve called out as I approached the host stand.
“Oh, no. Not already,” I groaned.
“Hey baby, you alright?” his voice dropped with sincerity but he never lost his swagger.
“Yes, Stephen, I’m fine.”
“No you’re not, you look like hell. Do you need me to beat the shit out of somebody? Who hurt you? You tell me, I’ll kick their ass,” he threatened in his manliest voice.
“Thanks for the offer, but it’s not necessary. I’ll be fine.” I sighed wearily and looked around for Katie. She had to be avoiding him or working. She hated both.
“Are you pregnant?” he asked louder than I ever wanted that phrase to be uttered.
“No!” I screeched. “And you’re the sEcond person to ask me that. Good lord, do I look pregnant?”
“No, girl, you look fine. But even pretty girls get knocked up, surely you know this. No one is immune from the love stick when you’re not using protection.”
“Oh my gosh. I want to die!” I started walking to the bathroom before Creep-o Steve-o could spout anymore unwanted advice.
“Alright, girl! I’m here if you want to talk though!”
That was the last he got out though for the rest of the night. Dinner service picked up like expected and we were slammed with customers. As soon as everything died down I let him and Katie go immediately. Katie was anxious to get done and I was terrified every time Steve opened his mouth, not knowing what craziness would fall out.
Once they were gone and everyone in the restaurant started counting down the minutes left till close, Lennox and Grayson walked in. They were so intimidating, even to me. They walked shoulder to shoulder, obviously brothers. Grayson was dressed in sweatpants and another wrestling t-shirt and Lennox was dressed in black dress pants and a turquoise polo, ever looking the businessman even on the weekend. They were so different and so similar at the same time. They smiled at me as soon as they approached the host stand and it was obvious they were getting along.
Bet in the Dark Page 24
