by Alexia Purdy
“Yeah. Um, of course. I understand.” Jess sighed, completely deflated. I almost felt bad until Gigi spoke up.
“I’m going to the ball, Jess. If you still need a partner, I’d be happy to join you.” Gigi flashed her baby blues at Jess, smiling sweetly as I turned away, rolling my eyes so hard I gave myself a brief headache. Good for her, jumping in to save Jess from my rejection. How awfully valiant of her.
“Don’t you have a fiancé?” I scoffed. She didn’t know I knew about Clyde. He was part of Farlan’s detail now and had to pretend he didn’t know where she was, but I was betting he did know. He just had to keep up the charade that she was missing. The whole thing made me ill.
“Um, yes, but he won’t be able to come, and I’d love to go. I love to dance and mingle with people. I must go!” Gigi declared, smiling once more for Jess.
Of course Clyde can’t come. He’s undercover as an Insurgent, for crying out loud.
“Well, it’s a group of us going,” Jess said, scratching his head as he smiled awkwardly. “You can join us if you want to, Gigi, but it’s a bunch of guys, really. All the engineers.”
I could practically hear Gigi’s face fall as she thought it over.
“Oh,” she muttered. She was typically good at hiding disappointment, but she’d let her facade drop far too easily. “That’s all right. I’d love to join your group. I can’t wait to hear the music and dance. There’ll be a lot of people there, right?”
“Yes.” Jess’s stiff smile told me he wasn’t winning this round. “Well, okay. We’ll be there at eight tonight. I’ll see you there.”
Gigi giggled as she nodded, a sound that irritated me to no end. I slapped extra dressing onto my salad and grabbed two cups of jello before heading off to find a table. I didn’t wait for either of them but knew they’d be scrambling after me soon enough.
I slid into a booth at the far end of the cafeteria near a blown-out window. The air wafting in was scented by grease, metal, and cool, musty cavern air. Mixed together, it was the closest to fresh air one could get down there. For a moment, I felt calm, but that ended far too soon as Jess and Gigi slid into the booth across from me. I’d spread out too much to leave any room for another person on my side.
I ate quietly as Gigi kept squeezing out conversation from both Jess and me. I answered quickly and didn’t offer much banter, so she focused on Jess for a while. I finished my food and quietly slid out of the booth, waving goodbye to them both as they continued to eat and chat. Maybe Gigi would grow on Jess, and he’d find someone to match wits with and leave me alone. I really wasn’t in the mood to pair up with anyone. There were suitors aplenty in the city, but I ignored them all. I wasn’t looking for romance. Especially not since Clyde’s betrayal.
It was hard enough to make friends, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted any. I missed my friend Megan so much that it hurt, but I couldn’t lose anyone else. There wasn’t much of my heart left to give.
Chapter Seven
Star
Heading toward my dorm, which was a whole different room than the one I’d shared with Megan, I hesitated before deciding to change direction. Passing some houses and the hall of dorms for single workers, I headed toward my waterfall cavern instead. Megan and I used to head up to a plateau in the cavern’s wall where we’d found a hidden cave complete with a gentle waterfall and a pool to swim in.
Slipping on my harness, I found the monotony of the climb calming. I barely noticed it anymore. My arms were slender and muscular, as were my legs. I could make it to the top without much effort now, but it was worth the exhilaration every time. The view was a bonus. Nothing was more amazing than looking over the Glass Sky City from my perch.
I sighed happily. The calm and solace of my home in the cliffs was more than enough for now. If I ever felt low, going there helped me shake it off. I slipped off my harness and headed toward the crack in the cave wall. The geode room never changed, but it didn’t need to. Its brilliance never failed to astound me as I walked past the array of crystals and gems of all colors scattered throughout the hollow rock. It was eerily mesmerizing. Even without Megan to enjoy it with me, it had lost little of its appeal.
I made my way into the alcove where I had a cot, slid off my work clothes, and grabbed a towel. No one ever went up there, and I was quite sure no one would since the climb was difficult for anyone not used to it. Slipping into the pool for an evening bath, I let the cool waterfall water lap over my sore bones. It wasn’t a hot spring, but it was far better than the low-pressure, lukewarm showers they had in the dorms below.
I grabbed my soap from a ledge in the rocks and washed the grease and sweat away from my skin and hair. Rinsing my body, I felt the rush of despair hit me in the stomach. I refused to cry. I’d been through with crying since I’d woken up in the hospital bed. I’d let myself grow numb over the past few weeks. In the night, all alone, everything came tumbling down.
I squeezed my eyes shut, listening to the roar of the waterfall. The cool liquid lapped around my shoulders, calming my troubled mind. I wanted to stay there forever, let go, and sink into the water’s embrace. It would be so easy. No one would ever find me. I dipped my head under the surface, the roar of the falls muffled by the water. It was the most serene I had felt since I’d returned. I felt my body sink more and more until my foot touched a crystal on the bottom, pricking my toe.
Star, show me how it ends, a voice resounded in the water, as clear as day.
I sputtered, kicking hard to rise to the top once more. I gasped as soap dripped from my hair and blinked away the stinging bubbles trickling down my face. My eyes darted all around the cavern, trying to figure out where the voice had come from. I breathed hard, splashing the soap out of my eyes as I listened. Nothing but the soft roar of the waterfall echoed in the cave, constant and unchanging. After quickly rinsing off, I rushed to the edge of the pool and climbed out, grabbed my towel, and rubbed it furiously all over my skin. I kept an eye trained on my surroundings, but nothing disturbed the serenity of the waterfall and pool.
I’m just being tense and paranoid, I told myself. Sighing but feeling refreshed, I walked to the smaller adjoining cavern which I’d chosen as my living quarters and slipped on a clean outfit. I left my shoes ready to slip on by my bed and then fluffed my pillow and pulled the covers over me. There were no lights to tell me if it was day or night, but my body told me it was time to rest. The city would dim the lights at night for sleeping, but the party would begin soon enough. I would unfortunately hear the loud music echo up into my cavern, but I was tired enough that it might not even wake me.
I closed my eyes and was asleep before my head even hit the pillow, my mind full of thoughts I kept shoving away. My fatigue helped me avoid dreams of Clyde. Instead, I dreamt of my parents, sitting on the couch in our house while they proclaimed that I belonged to Farlan. No matter how much I tried, nothing made sense at all.
I suddenly jolted awake in the dark. The sound of the waterfall was the only noise vibrating the alcove, but something else had pulled me from my dreams. I could feel someone’s stare crawling over my bones in the complete darkness. My heart hammered beneath my chest, threatening to explode. I pulled out the gun I kept under my pillow and pointed it toward the entrance to the cave.
“Who’s there? I have a gun!”
“Star… don’t shoot. It’s me, Fran.”
“You gave me a heart attack!” I groaned, stuffing my gun back under my pillow and reaching over to turn on the lamp at the side of my cot. “How did you know I was here?”
Fran looked around my tiny cave and then climbed onto my bed and sat cross-legged in front of me. In the shining lamplight, she looked like a real person. Her glistening eyes, blinking in curiosity, her flowing hair as real as mine, her lush skin reflecting the glow… one could easily mistake her for a real girl.
I had. I never would have guessed she was an android. So many people in my life could have been one of these life-like machines, and I never woul
d have known any better.
“I’m sorry, Star. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I have special trackers my father developed and installed in my neuroreceptors. I can find almost anyone as long as I have a sample of their blood.”
I cocked my head to the side, throwing her a shocked look. “How did you get my blood?”
“When you slept at my parents’ cottage, I quietly took a sample. I try to do this with anyone I meet. As a precaution.”
“You could have asked first.” I shook my head. Swinging my legs to the side, I slipped my boots on, tying them tightly as I grumbled my complaints about her violation.
“I find asking might be met with a negative reaction. I prefer to collect samples while a person is calm and unaware.”
“You know that’s assault, right?” I snapped, glaring at her. She gave me no reaction but tilted her head to match mine. Blowing out a breath, I knew she couldn’t comprehend why it went against common morals to take something from someone while they slept. It just wasn’t right. Explaining this to her helped me feel better, though I wasn’t sure how much it changed her robotic mind.
“I apologize again.” Fran’s voice was quieter, unsure of herself.
If I only could switch places with her. Feel nothing I didn’t want to feel. Take whatever it was I wanted without regret. Maybe it was better. Maybe not. But I knew that living with what I knew now was nothing but absolute misery.
Chapter Eight
Star
“What is it that you want, Fran?” I wasn’t in the mood for stirring up negativity. There was so much gray floating around me, I wanted to shake it off.
“I was tasked with keeping you safe. I know I failed when they took you. When you were no longer in the governor’s mansion, I set out to find you.”
“You don’t have to protect me. I can protect myself.” I took the gun back out and waved it in the air before stuffing it into a holster on my belt. “So you came here for no reason.”
I stood up and headed out to the waterfall cavern. There, I stared at the water as it poured down. The cool mist woke me as I reached for a coffee percolator, filling it from the falling water. I placed the container on a portable propane stovetop I’d brought up there and waited for the water to heat. It was late, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep again after getting jolted awake, so I might as well stay up and read or head to work for a while. Mundane things always helped keep my head clear.
“I had to make sure you were okay.”
“Why? So you can run back to tell Clyde I’m fine? What makes you think he cares? For all I know, he got me locked up in there in the first place.”
“He wouldn’t have done such a thing.”
“Wake up, Fran. Get it through your thick gears… Clyde betrayed me! I was going to get out of there, and he… he….” I wiped at the wetness tickling my cheeks, not realizing I was crying. “He drugged me, and I’d still be there if someone else hadn’t helped me.”
Fran slid down onto a boulder near me to sit and watch the water flow down the rocks, the roar cutting the tension between us. I wanted to do anything but think of Clyde, and yet here was Fran, her little gears and contraptions whirring beneath her skin just like the gigantic machines rumbling in the underground. Could she empathize with me? Was she biased due to her relationship with Clyde? Why had she come to torment me?
“I know that was difficult. I hope you understand that Clyde has to do things he doesn’t want to do sometimes.”
I laughed, throwing my hands up before scooping up the coffee canister and dumping some into the percolator.
“Don’t we all?”
“Please, Star. I’m sure he had his reasons.”
“I don’t care. Whatever reasons he has, there is no excuse for what he did. He might as well be dead to me.” I jammed the top onto the coffee maker. “Just drop it. Okay?” I begged, pouring out a cup of the dark liquid before it had finished brewing. It steamed as I picked it up, and I blew on the surface, wishing it were cool enough to take a big gulp. I couldn’t think straight. I was still groggy and needed some caffeine. I hated being assaulted by bad memories so soon after waking. I felt vulnerable.
As I sipped my drink, I glanced at Fran. Her mouth was screwed up in a frown. Her thoughts were as troubled as mine. Maybe there was something else going on.
“I’m sorry, Star. I truly am. I won’t mention him again.”
Relieved, I relaxed a bit as I sipped some more coffee.
“Can I have a cup?” Fran asked.
Surprised, I sat up. “You want coffee?”
Fran nodded.
“I thought you didn’t eat.” I peered at her curiously.
“I don’t usually, but I am capable of food storage due to a tank which sits in my abdomen. I just want to see how it tastes. My parents never drank it, so I have no idea how it should taste.”
“Okay, then.” I got up and plucked the only other cup I had out of my supplies. Holding it, I stopped in my tracks, swallowing down my hesitation. I ran a finger across the spotted enamel of the cup. It belonged to Megan. It used to belong to her. She had no more use for it. I gripped it tighter but stepped forward, pushing thoughts of my dead friend from my mind.
So much darkness lingered inside me. All I’d wanted was to work with my father’s business. I’d never wanted anyone to get hurt. If only I could change things around.
“Here.” I handed the cup I’d just poured to Fran and watched her closely as she sipped the fluid without blowing on it at all. The heat didn’t affect her, and once more she became the android I saw her as. I looked away.
“It’s good. Bitter but tasty,” she commented.
“I like it black, but some people take it with cream and sugar. And… we usually don’t drink it when it’s straight out of the carafe. It’s too hot.”
She wrinkled her eyebrows, confused. “You mean you wait until it has cooled off to drink it?”
I nodded.
She looked down into the cup and frowned. “I have so much to learn about being human, don’t I?”
“Yep. Your parents really kept you sheltered, didn’t they? You stick out like a sore thumb.”
She glanced up, more confused than ever. I dumped out the rest of my coffee and made sure my stove was off.
“Wait! Where are you going?” Fran asked, scrambling to her feet to follow me.
“I don’t know. I can’t sleep, so I think I’m going to take a walk. Maybe check out my list of things to fix and work on something.”
“Why can’t you sleep?”
I looked at her in disbelief and shook my head. “No reason at all. I just can’t go back to sleep now because I’m not tired.”
“You shouldn’t drink coffee in the middle of the night. Its stimulating effects could affect your circadian rhythms,” Fran stated, scurrying after me. I didn’t care for her invasion of my space, but I had to forgive her for her ignorance. For now, I’d let it go. I just wanted to get some air and walk around.
Music boomed, echoing across the city, amplified by the rock walls.
“Is there a festival going on?” Fran asked.
Her incessant chatting was going to irritate me as much as Gigi’s, but I suppressed the kneejerk reaction to snap at her. “It’s the annual Celebration Ball.”
“You didn’t want to go to it tonight?”
I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t feeling that festive.”
“You should go. Music is calming.”
“I guess.”
“My family always does something special for Celebration Day back home. We usually make a huge feast, sing songs, and make desserts and cookies to share with our neighbors.” Fran paused long enough that I had to look back to make sure she was still following me. “I miss them, you know. I haven’t seen them or Clyde for weeks.”
“Why not?”
“I was trying to find a way into the governor’s mansion to rescue you.”
I stopped in my tracks and turned around. “Listen, Fran.
If you want to hang around here, you’re going to have to keep from mentioning anything to do with Clyde or President Farlan. Stuff happened there that I prefer not to linger on. If you can’t do that, I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry! Just don’t talk about those things.”
Frustrated, I marched on. We made our way down the cliff in silence, and when we reached the bottom, I followed the sound of the music, not entirely sure why. I just needed to do something.
The ballroom area, which was just a huge cavern in the side of the main work area, was nearby. I could hear the music pumping clearly now. I paused and found myself staring at the ball in full swing. I moved behind one of the nearby buildings and hesitated.
“I’m going to go see about fixing the air conditioning at the cafeteria,” I said, finally deciding what I was going to do.
“We should go to the ball!” Fran exclaimed.
“I’d rather not. I’m not dressed for it.”
“Oh.” She looked down at her outfit. It was just a regular set of work coveralls from aboveground and had seen better days. I had to get her new clothes as soon as possible. “I guess my outfit isn’t appropriate either. I’ve never been to a ball.”
“You do look pretty horrid.”
Fran didn’t say anything more, and I was sure I’d offended her, but I didn’t look her way. I hated feeling so apathetic to her plight, but I was focused on something else. Beyond the edge of the dark building we hid behind, I could see Gigi and Jess, dancing together and laughing. Gigi looked beautiful in her flowing pink gown, and Jess… his suit and fresh haircut brought out his handsome features.
Was it a stab of jealously flowing through me, or longing? I looked away, swallowing down the momentary jolt of emotion, and shook my head. I wasn’t longing for anything Gigi might have, but it was the companionship, the laughter I’d once enjoyed with Clyde, that I missed. If he’d been there, I would have gone out of my way to attend the ball just to dance in his arms.
