by Alexia Purdy
“I don’t think that’s possible, Clyde.” My father wrinkled his eyebrows, confused.
“He could he? There’s only one totem,” John declared, glaring at Clyde. At least his hateful stare was no longer pressed into me, but I didn’t like it on Clyde either.
My eyes found their way to Gideon, who sat silently, his hands folded in front of his chin, contemplating the situation. His eyes were far away and dark as thoughts were flying through his mind. I recognized that look; it was often there when he had to go on an important mission or when he had to leave me for an extended time. What would be flitting through his head about Clyde? They didn’t seem to like each other at all. Why did I feel like I didn’t know everything about either one of them?
“There’s just no way!”
“It’d be suicide.”
“He can’t go, he’ll be killed.”
The comments fired up all around the room, inciting more arguments. I wasn’t sure why this had caused such a ruckus until Gideon stood up, and the room hushed at his imposing presence. His dark eyes looked even darker in the harsh light of the fluorescent bulbs shining down, giving the room a sickly bluish tint.
“Gideon?” My father’s calm voice snapped everyone to attention. All eyes were trained on Gideon, who was waiting patiently for the room to settle.
“The Others understand that it’s dangerous to journey underground by oneself,” he said. “For that reason, the totem allows passage for two people into their realm. Star can enter because she’s female. Clyde can be covered by my totem, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He remained standing as he looked up to confirm this with my father. My mouth dried up as I glanced between him and Clyde.
“What? No! You can’t both go,” I blurted out.
“I’m going, and it doesn’t matter if you agree or not,” Clyde snapped. His blue eyes deepened, a stormy sea threatening as he glared at me.
I shrank into my chair, feeling my heart skip a beat. The way his eyes lacked the previous devotion he’d had for me made for a frosty moment. I wondered if he might still have feelings for me when he’d sworn he’d never give up trying to win me back. But I had snubbed him again, just like the day I’d met him. Now I knew that he probably had given up. How quickly he’d forgotten our time together, but how quickly I had moved on.
I swallowed. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. For the second time during the meeting, I fought back the stinging tears behind my eyes.
“I say we leave it up to Gideon. Just get it done,” John grunted, leaning back in his chair and looking bored, as if we were now just wasting his time.
My father sat back, tilting his chin up as he observed the others gathered around the table. For a long moment, he contemplated the situation until he nodded.
“Very well,” my father agreed. “Gideon, it’s up to you if you want to allow Clyde on this mission. Please get up to date on the details and discuss with each other what the plan will be. Dismissed.”
He stood up, and the rest of the officials followed, leaving the three of us sitting in the room as they shuffled out. A murmur of disgruntled voices followed them as they threw distasteful glances our way.
“Be careful, Star. Come to me if you need anything. I’m glad you came to visit me.” My father squeezed my shoulder before joining the others, throwing me a sympathetic smile. I placed my hand on his, letting his love fill me with hope. His hands were rough from constant work on gadgetry, like they’d always been. Their warmth permeated my shirt, and I held back the urge to jump up and walk out with him. I closed my eyes, stifling the little girl who wanted to run to her father for safety when everything was going wrong. I felt his hand slip away, leaving my heart longing for better times. I stayed put, hearing the door click closed behind him.
It was apparent the plan had taken a huge detour. Somehow, the three of us had skewed it, but it could still work. Once the voices in the hallway faded, I turned back to Gideon and Clyde, who had switched seats to sit across from one another. They avoided each other’s glare, focusing on the table and intermittently flicking their eyes toward me. I tried to not fidget under their stares. Alone with both of them, I felt small and insignificant, the air thick with animosity. I hoped it wasn’t aimed toward me, but it was palpable between Gideon and Clyde. Any spark could ignite the room, like it was thick with accelerant, ripe for a violent fire.
Gideon cleared his throat and flipped through the plans. “If you open the packet to page four, you’ll find the proposed route into the deeper tunnels of the Others.”
Clyde and I studied the documents as he spoke, avoiding looking at one another. Might as well just pretend this was all official business and nothing more. Why venture into old grudges when we had a mission to help the rebellion? If we failed, what then? Would it all be for nothing?
“It says it’s two miles below the Glass Sky City’s deepest tunnels,” I gasped, staring at the map in the folder. Spidery lines littered the diagram showing the city and the areas far beneath it. My breathing quickened. There were hundreds of routes leading anywhere in the world. “How do we know which ones belong to the Others?”
“The ones in red belong to the others, but those are just the ones we know about. We’ll have to traverse the banks of an underground river which should lead us straight to the prison cavern.”
I wrinkled my nose. “If no one is allowed into the deeper caverns, how do we have a map of their territory?”
Their eyes focused on me as though there were an obvious answer. They threw knowing glances at one another, which I found befuddling. Peering at them, I sensed there was something more between Gideon and Clyde that I wasn’t privy to. I fidgeted in my chair, highly aware I was the newcomer. They’d grown up with the knowledge of the underground. I was but a child learning my first steps through the treacherous terrain.
“Remember what I told you in the tunnels on the way here?” Gideon said. He kept his eyes focused on me, and I could see Clyde throwing him an angered look. I’d told him Gideon had saved me from Farlan’s prison. He had no right to look upset about us. I didn’t know if he knew I was with Gideon. I’d never told him that.
“Yes, I remember, but you didn’t go into too much depth about it,” I answered.
Gideon cleared his throat and began explaining. “Okay, history lesson. When the earth almost crumbled to pieces from the wars of man, the Others emerged from the deep and agreed to help save it from annihilation. It was a mutual effort. The Others knew how to keep the ravines and cracks in the earth from splitting open further. They needed our help to build the great machines beneath the surface of the world to fix the nature of things. Rivers were rerouted, molten lava was diverted, the crust of the earth was stabilized. The Others were unable to work the metal involved with these machines, but they provided the magic to help us move the structures into place.
“It was the last time the two groups interacted. The Others retreated to their cities in the deep caverns and left the surface to the humans. We also have the upper caverns to service the machines and structures maintaining the planet’s integrity.”
My heart stilled. Dumbfounded, I rolled his words over my mind. “They helped us save the planet?” How was that possible? Especially considering how divided we’d been since then. Hopefully, they could work with us again.
“Yes. Once, there was cooperation between us.”
Refocusing, I leaned over the map of tunnels once more. “Which of these tunnels leads to the deeper prison chambers?” I asked.
Gideon scooted closer and pressed his finger onto one of the red squiggles indicating the appropriate tunnel. I was fully aware of the warmth emanating from his body. I suppressed a shiver.
“Here. This one connects to one of our tunnels on the opposite side of the collapse. This is where we’ll find the access point.”
“What sort of access? A door?” I looked between him and Clyde. They both nodded. “Why is it you guys know so much about the Others and the dee
p underground?”
“I’ve known about the underground since I was a child,” Clyde offered. He glanced at Gideon.
“Me too,” Gideon added.
Flicking my eyes between them, I knew I’d gotten stuck in the middle of something I didn’t understand.
“What’s going on here?” I asked. “What are you guys not telling me?”
Gideon tapped his pen on the table as he avoided looking at me. A few seconds passed as I felt my cheeks heat up. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he looked up at me and took in a deep breath.
“Clyde is my half-brother.”
Chapter Twenty-six
Star
“What do you mean you’re half-brothers?” I stared in disbelief at Gideon and Clyde.
I alternated between them, studying their features closely. There were similarities, yes, but they could’ve been purely coincidental. Both had dark brown-black hair, their skin tones were similar, but that was where the similarities ended. Clyde was slightly taller than Gideon by a few inches, and his eyes were a stark, bright blue, not dark brown like Gideon’s. His were practically black. Their mouths were different as well as their noses. Gideon was at least two years older than Clyde. How were they half-brothers? Were they related by mother or father?
“I can see we have some explaining to do,” Gideon sighed, looking like he hadn’t wanted to have this conversation.
“I think so too.” I leaned back into my chair again, tired of trying to figure out the endless puzzles and deceptions around me. They knew one another far more than I’d initially thought. Why had they acted like they weren’t that familiar?
“Clyde and I have the same father,” Gideon started. “My mother met Clyde’s father at his factory in Lionel, where she worked. She was beautiful and smart and caught his attention. When he found out she was pregnant, he paid her to keep their secret, but Clyde’s mother discovered my existence when I was five and made him fire my mother from the factory.
“After that, my mother couldn’t get decent work besides odd jobs doing laundry and cleaning houses. I was left alone a lot, basically a street rat, unsupervised all day long as she worked, living off people’s generosity and any scraps I could find. My mother drank herself to death, brokenhearted, and I was essentially orphaned by ten. My father cut her off after his wife found out about me, claiming I wasn’t his at the behest of his wife. I didn’t remember much about him, but I somehow ended up finding out who he was.
“I found work in Petra at your father’s factory. I later found out my father and his family were living in the lap of luxury in the affluent district of Lionel. They had unoccupied homes in Petra and other cities too. When I was twelve, I snuck into his factory in Lionel to confront him. I blackmailed him, saying I would tell everyone what he’d done to my mother and me if he didn’t help me. I got him to give me one of his unused houses in Petra and a stipend to live on as long as I never came around again.”
I flicked my eyes between him and Clyde, completely stunned. Clyde was silent during this, and I wondered what he was thinking. Almost as if he’d read my mind, he began talking.
“That’s when I met him for the first time,” Clyde added. “I was ten at the time and saw the whole interaction. After he left, I demanded my father tell me who he was. He told me about Gideon but asked me to not tell my mother anything about what happened.”
“Did you ever tell her?” I asked.
“No. I kept quiet. It would hurt her too much to know Gideon was still interrupting our lives.” Clyde’s face darkened as he stirred up his memories.
Gideon’s jaw tightened as he sucked in a deep, centering breath. His face flushed as he paused before he responded. “Well, after that was all said and done, Clyde showed up at my door in Petra, demanding to know if I really was his half-brother and why his father had hidden me his whole life. I told him everything his father had done to us, but he was not very forthcoming and didn’t want to get to know me at all. He blamed my mother for nearly splitting up his family. He said his father was getting older, and Clyde had taken over things for him at the factories. He wanted to make sure I knew I had no claim over his father’s assets since I was illegitimate. I told him I didn’t care and to get out. That was the last I saw or heard from Clyde until you told me he was your ex and had betrayed you. Then he showed up in a meeting with General Yu, where we were told we were to return to Farlan’s regime to restore the lines of intelligence within his cabinet.”
I swallowed, a hard knot forming in my throat. “You have the same father….” I thought back to the unremarkable man I’d met at Clyde’s family cottage in the woods. He’d seemed so unassuming, serene, and unconcerned. His wife appeared happy to serve her family. Dark secrets didn’t appear at home there.
“Why didn’t Clyde’s family just adopt you when your mother died? It wasn’t your fault what happened.”
“It would’ve just reminded them of my father’s indiscretion,” Gideon scoffed, his voice solemn and stiff.
I let his words sink in, realizing just how much pain a person’s mistakes can cause for years and years. Clyde and Gideon had suffered from their father’s actions, both damaged in ways I could only imagine. The numbness spreading through my body kept me silent longer than I’d wanted. As I reclaimed my composure, I looked up, the emptiness inside slowly morphing into a deep-seated anger I couldn’t hold in anymore.
“Why didn’t you guys tell me you knew each other?”
Clyde and Gideon glanced at each other as though they were seeing the other for the first time ever.
“What is Gideon to you?” Clyde asked, his expression going slack before darkening as he looked at his brother.
“We’re together,” I answered, flicking my eyes to Gideon. “Aren’t we?”
Clyde turned back to his brother, his eyes widening. “You and Star…?”
Gideon glared at Clyde, and I’d never felt such hatred permeate the air. I was sweating, hoping they didn’t lose control over their emotions. I’d never told Clyde about Gideon, but Gideon knew about Clyde.
“Yes, brother. Star and I are together,” Gideon snarled through his teeth. They never let their stares waver.
“You knew she was with me,” Clyde snapped, closing his eyes before opening them to me. “Why would you go after her?”
Gideon scoffed. “How would I know she was with you? It didn’t seem like you were since you left her to rot with Farlan. I saved her.”
Clyde shook his head. “You knew. You always know everything I do. I’m surprised you didn’t turn me in to Farlan.”
“I should have.”
“Stop!” I cried out, slamming my hands on the table. The sudden noise made them both jump, and they turned to face me. I didn’t want them fighting, especially not over me. “Why did you keep this from me?”
Several seconds passed in silence as they continued to glower silently at each other. Finally, I threw my arms up in frustration, shaking my head. My heart thundered in my chest so much, I thought it would burst. I leaned forward, placing my head in my hands and muttering under my breath.
I couldn’t trust anyone, not even Clyde or Gideon. The world was full of liars and devils.
“Star, I didn’t mean to keep anything from you,” Clyde said, desperation in his voice. “How could I have known you would run into Gideon? He knew I loved you and went for you. Don’t you see?”
“You never mentioned him when you spoke of your family. Why?” I looked up, my voice trembling as I clenched my hands into fists. “I met your family. Fran, your mother, father…. None of them made any mention of another son.”
“He’s not part of my family.” Clyde glared at the table as though it would split in half for him. “Never was. Never will be.”
“Thank goodness for that,” Gideon laughed, shaking his head.
“What about you, Gideon? Why would you never mention Clyde was your brother? You knew we had history.”
“I couldn’t tell you. Then
, I didn’t see why it was even relevant. I was deep under cover in Farlan’s regime. To protect Clyde and his family, I had to be erased from their lives completely. Hence, no evidence of me whatsoever. If the Insurgents discovered they were connected with me and that we were spies, Clyde’s family would have been targeted for extermination. I didn’t want them hurt, even if they didn’t want me around. It was easy to erase our connections.” Gideon watched me, calmer than I was by far. Clyde couldn’t even look at me; his face had turned expressionless and solemn.
“Clyde?” My voice came out sharper than I meant it to, but I needed to know more than just Gideon’s explanation. “Why didn’t you say anything when you saw me with him at the ball?”
Clyde didn’t move or speak, his eyes glazed over as though he were lost in thought. Had he even heard me?
“Clyde!” I shouted, slapping my hand on the table.
He flinched at this, and his deep blue eyes found their way to me. “Star?”
“Why is this happening?” I asked as tears slid down my cheeks. I couldn’t hold them back anymore. “When is everyone going to stop lying to me?”
“I—I don’t know,” he stammered. His eyes reddened as his face screwed up with despair. “I never planned any of this, Star. I was angry with my father and took it out on Gideon. I didn’t know how to tell you about him. Or Gigi. I didn’t want to ask Gigi to marry me. I had to get involved with her. It was the only way to get closer to Farlan’s secrets.” He looked up, fully returning to his senses. “I don’t want to marry her. I want to marry you.”
Gideon sat speechless at his brother’s admission. He’d known every aspect of Clyde’s mission, and he’d also said nothing to me. Even when he’d appeared jealous of him, his own brother, he’d said nothing.
I was shaking. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t know what to do. I loved them both, and yet, for some reason, I was wedged between them like a thorn. This was a predicament. How could I ever choose one without hurting the other? It was impossible.
