by Daud Shawni
*****
The Atman
Aurangzeb said, "Child, you speak of the atman, but I still don't understand it. My teachers spoke of it as a form of idolatry; they said that it is self-worship."
The boy laughed at this. "You have heard and have believed that Every soul will taste of death. Yet who has understood the meaning of this? Let me tell you a little of the atman.
"For countless ages Uma dwelt in the pavilions of holiness, beneath the canopy of God's love and protection, her hem purified of worldly illusion, her face unseen by devas, men, or rakshasas. Behind the realm of appearance and disappearance she arose from her palace. All who saw her were intoxicated by her beauty, by the scent of her perfume, and by the sweetness of her voice. The devas said she was the maidservant of God.
"One of the devas, Vayu, who is the master of wind and Hanuman's father, approached Uma and asked her about the nature of God. Uma did not answer but demanded to know what power Vayu possessed to dare ask this question. Vayu, who was very proud, said, 'I am among the mightiest of devas. I am the master of wind. I can blow away any object in the world, however far and for however long I please.'
"Uma placed a single grain of dry rice before Vayu and said, 'Show me this great power.' Vayu exerted every effort, but could not cause the rice to budge. Winds that could have torn the Himalayas from their roots did not cause that grain of rice even to tremble. Vayu gave up and was astounded, but before he could speak, Uma said, 'You can understand as much of God's nature as you can move this grain of rice. Your power is not yours, but His. You yourself are not yours, but you belong to Him.'
"Vayu knelt and pressed his fingers upon Uma's feet. She raised her hand and said, 'Go in peace. You may yet find Him in yourself, but only after being rid of yourself. Within you there is not room for you and Him together.'
"Who puts on filthy rags and imagines them a kingly robe? Who wars with his brother over the rotting corpse of a whore? Who places upon his head a crown of dung and calls himself king? Such is the man who knows nothing of the atman.
"Those who understand this will rise out of samsara and achieve release from the world and its temptations, its mad and shameful passions, its defilements and illusions.
"O king, what we call atman is the divine within every man. We are made in His likeness. We are forged as cups of iron in the furnace of His love, filled with the wine of His essence. This is the likeness. From His vineyard, He pours forth liberally. Drink from the cup of yourself, not for the sake of the cup, but to taste that wine which is more precious to the believers than their own lifeblood. We may know something of Him from within ourselves, as I may know something of the sun when it warms my body. But I don't confuse my body with the sun.
"All possessions, including reputation and attainment, are gone by morning. All pride is lost, all senses deprived, all achievement sundered, all knowledge forgotten. Do not put store in these things for as quickly as they come, they go. A man, drunk with wine, achieves a moment of bliss; but bliss flees with the dawn.
"Between your individual self and the Universal Self, which is the atman, the difference is as darkness and light, or as illusion and the Real. The atman is not the self if by self you mean the man that you are or the life that you lead, for these in fact are at variance with the atman. The Universal Self is not yourself; it is His Self. Look for it and you might find it. Do not worship your self as if it were the atman. If the individual self is not tamed, it runs wild without direction, without purpose. He cannot die to himself, but lives again and again, finding no peace, no escape from attachments or from the wheel of samsara. Forget this illusion of yourself, this lifeless mask, and know that true Self and achieve that better life, which is union with God.
"He is the goal; know yourself and this is both road and destination, door and palace, throne and king.
"Shut your eyes to what you imagine you are and find Him within yourself. Die to yourself and live within Him. Without this, you die as many deaths as you have desires and yet you are reborn into desire as often as you die. That is the road to misery and is the wheel of samsara. No intellect can unravel it. No scripture can make it clear. But He has placed a sign of Himself in the lotus of your heart. Give up your knowledge and know with His knowledge.
"Do not act for the sake of acquiring the fruits of action nor drink from the wine of those fruits. To act only to acquire the reward of your actions is to be paid in full. That reward is fleeting and desire is only further inflamed. For the one who makes love, for a moment it is enough until that moment passes; when is there ever enough?
"Of the things you possess, the atman is all that has value. It is God's treasure and your mind is but the vault for it. Remove the treasure, and what value has the vault? Compared to the atman, some say, life is an empty game. Remember Yudishtira, the older brother of Krishna's friend Arjuna. At a game of dice, Yudishtira staked and lost a handful of pearls. He then staked and lost women and servants, gold and land, even his own kingdom. He staked and lost his brothers, then himself, then gambled away his wife, Draupadi. See how a game of dice is meaningless, until you have staked all things upon it. By living, you have staked your spirit. Life has value only in the outcome for the atman. Without the atman, life is an empty boasting of worthless desires, a heap of bones, a sea of blood, a desert of ashes. The pauper in rags holding a begging bowl, if he has unveiled the atman, he is among the wealthiest of creatures. The king on his throne, surrounded by servants, holding a key to all the world's treasure, he is less than a beggar if he has not found the atman.
"Discover the atman and rise above samsara. Remember the palace Purochana built for Arjuna and his brothers, which was called the House of Joy. Within was every luxury, every comfort. But hidden in the walls, Purochana had sealed oil and straw. He awaited a propitious time to set fire to the palace and kill the Pandava as they slept within. Yudishtira, Arjuna's older brother, was thoughtful and ordered a tunnel be dug into the floor of the palace. That night the Pandava feasted and, at the end of the evening, they set fire to the palace themselves and escaped into the tunnel. From a distance, the brothers watched the House of Joy as it burned, consumed in fire, leaving nothing behind except blackened earth.
"Here is a story if you are thoughtful. The House of Joy is attachment to the things of this world. Do not wait, sleeping in comfort, for Purochana to set the fire. Instead, find a way to the atman and set the fire yourself and escape. The House is samsara, the tunnel is moksha, the way to the atman."
Aurangzeb said, "I have heard your people speak of the atman as God and of God as the atman; that there is no difference."
The boy thought a moment and then said, "The wise say atman is Brahman and that Brahman is atman, making no distinction between the two. But this understanding is not subtle, and the atman and Brahman both are not grasped by logic or intellect; their meanings are subtler than any subtlety and hidden behind many veils. Words cannot describe this; by describing, words place limits. But who will understand my meaning if I am without words, if I am silent? Let me express what is inexpressible. You know that He is within all things; but through the human temple His light shines brightest in all creation. But the temple is not God Himself, for though He is found in every atom of His creation, He likewise transcends His creation entirely. He is immanent, He is the atman; He is transcendent, He is Brahman.
"If the atman is a droplet, He is the well of fathomless waters. If the atman is a flicker of light, He is the sun. If the atman is a looking glass, He is what you find reflected. Attachments and desire obscure that glass. Cleanse it and be free and reveal what is in your heart.
"After Ravana's defeat, Rama and Sita were crowned in the city of Ayodhya. As a gift for Hanuman's loyalty and friendship, Sita gave him a string of pearls. She said, 'With these as a token, remember Rama.'
"Years later, Hanuman was seen unstringing these pearls, trying to open them up, grinding them into powder. The people of Ayodhya said, 'What are you doing? Those
were Sita's gift to you.' Hanuman said, 'I am opening them to find Rama within them; that is the true gift.' The people did not understand and Hanuman said, 'Rama is everywhere in everything, even in my heart.' The people laughed at him and said, 'Show us what is in your heart; we too would like to lay eyes on Rama.' Innocent of their mocking, Hanuman agreed. He opened his chest before their eyes, revealing in his beating heart the face of Rama.
"Hanuman had no use for pearls, except that they might bring him nearer to God. He had no use for his body, except that God dwelt within. Hanuman is the temple. No mosque is holier than what is within you, but you must wash away all worldly defilements. Sacrifice all things at the altar of the atman. The temple of Hanuman is in the likeness of a looking glass. See what is in it, worshipper. But if with pride you have fouled its surface, you will see nothing. Though the atman within you is shining, you are blind to it.
"This illusion of your self existing in time in the world, is a veil over His true self. These are different things, who you imagine you are and the hidden mystery within you, which is the spirit of God. There is that Highest Self, though even this name deceives. To realize that Self, you must lose yourself entirely, releasing the bonds that tie you to samsara."
The boy then recounted a story of Ravana. "Ravana was born with ten heads, or so the story is told. When Ravana was young he was a devotee of Shiva and performed thousands of years of penance. He purified himself and undertook terrible austerities, hoping to please God and earn merit in His sight. After many long years, however, Ravana received no blessing or acknowledgment. Therefore Ravana struck off one of his heads and, staunching the flow of blood, continued to fast and meditate for another thousand years. Again he received neither blessing nor acknowledgment. Striking off his second head, Ravana continued undaunted. Again and again, over many thousands of years, Ravana repeated this act until, his single head remaining, he prepared to strike it off. But before he struck that final blow, Shiva appeared to him.
"Ravana, overjoyed, stayed his hand and knelt before the object of his devotions. Shiva said, 'You may complete your tapasya by cutting off your head. But if this is not pleasing, I will grant you a boon for the nine heads you have already lost.' Ravana thought a great while and, placing his sword in the dust, said, 'Grant me invincibility against devas and rakshasas and all other celestial beings.'
"At once granting this wish, Shiva disappeared from sight as suddenly as he appeared. Ravana abandoned his austerities and, with his terrible power, became ruler of the rakshasas and waged war on the devas."
Aurangzeb said, "This story is absurd, as are all your stories."
The boy said, "You say this because you do not know the meaning of the story. You hold a sealed bottle of wine and ask how you can drink the bottle itself. You hold a handful of cooked rice and wonder how you can eat your hand."
Aurangzeb laughed at this. He said, "Then tell me the hidden meaning of the story."
The boy answered, "Rather than putting down his sword, Ravana would have served himself better by leaving his last severed head in the dust at God's feet. His austerities were not complete. He had not achieved the goal, which was to please Shiva, but substituted his own desire for God's desire for him. In his worship, he attained his own ends, not God's. Ravana's heads, which were the emblems of his ego, stood between him and the atman. With ease and tranquility Ravana had surpassed all devas and rakshasas. He had walked through nine doorways of sacrifice, performing what no other could perform. But he could not open that final door and was blind even to its existence. Had he completed his tapasya and struck off his final head, he would have achieved union with God. But he squandered this in order to possess a moment's mastery over the transient world. Ravana, demon king of Lanka, seemed the most powerful creature. But he was himself merely a creature and when he was defeated, neither his invincibility nor the sacrifices he had performed to achieve it, were of any value. He could not strike off his head to find the atman because he loved himself too much. He could not abandon the illusion of rank and power in the world because he bowed down to the world. He could not break the wheel of samsara because he worshipped the wheel. He possessed wisdom, but was unwise. He was knowledgeable, but knew nothing of himself. He was a worshipper of God who neither heeded God's law nor acknowledged God's manifestation in Rama. His invincibility did not avail him, nor did his wisdom advise him, nor his knowledge inform him. The atman was within him, as it is within all men, but he never found it.
"Illusion and action that is tied to selfish desire give rise to attachments that draw you away from the atman. Look within and you will find God enthroned. But instead you turn away and wander in the wilderness of illusion. How far you have wandered and yet come not a step closer while He is closer to you than your jugular vein.
"You may say that the atman is you, and this is true. But likewise you may say that it is not you; and this also is true. To achieve the realization of the atman, you must die to yourself. By ego, action, and illusion you are drawn away. Let go of all these things and you will come to the end of reason. Yet when I speak of reason's end, I mean the true outcome of reason, not its extinction. By reason learn that the mind cannot grasp Him nor word describe Him. Reason gives us knowledge and establishes, by its own proofs, its own limits. Through reason learn of reason's inadequacy. This is the greatest achievement of the rational intellect. Know that you cannot know Him, and your knowledge has borne fruit."
Aurangzeb said, "How then can we know Him, if not by reason or intellect?"
The boy said, "You may know Him in the unity of the messengers of God and by the command, 'Know yourself to know God.' The mystery was born within us and lives within us at all times, hidden even to ourselves in the lotus of the heart. You know the Hadith. God has said, Man is My mystery and I am man's mystery. He lodges in the heart. Give up the pretense of yourself and find Him within yourself revealed. God is the atman; the atman is God. But this does not mean that you, Aurangzeb, are God. No, Aurangzeb is in the way. Renounce him and find God within you. The atman within you, as within all men, is His gift, His grace. In the Quran it says, Within you are the signs of God. Can you not perceive? And likewise that holy book says, God shows His signs to men both in the world outside and within themselves. These verses are sufficient proof that, though Muhammad does not say the word 'atman,' he speaks of it clearly. Your people know Muhammad, Moses, and Jesus. Rama, Krishna, and the Buddha are known to mine. These are men who loosed the bonds of attachment to all things and who revealed God from within themselves. He resides within us. Thus see in the atman that we may reconcile the unquestionable truth that God appears as a man among all men, and know how that is even possible that He might shine through the human lamp. Though only at His command through His grace do these messengers arise among men, still, as with Adam, He breathed His spirit into all men and women. Though we are poor, plain, obscure and little you and I may yet find a portion of it within ourselves.
"I have said in every man is the sign of Him, which is the spark of the divine. I have said look upon living men and see how they are weighted down with the burdens of life. They are dead. I have said that samsara is, in truth, the perpetuity of death, not life. See that nirvana is the fullness of life, not the emptiness of death.
"The true believer is alive before, now and hereafter. But without detachment from his dearest possessions and his expectations of God, he is dead, forever reborn to desire of this material world, achieving no knowledge of himself."
Aurangzeb said, "At one moment you speak of life, and you mean life; at another moment you speak of life and you mean death. At one moment you talk of death, and you mean death; at another moment you talk of death, and you mean life. Why are these meanings inconsistent? Why do you contradict yourself? Is life not life, and death not death?"
The boy replied, "One day a poor farmer saw Hanuman in the forest, within sight of his farm. Hanuman took a special interest in the farmer's home, though it was dilapidated and barely
inhabitable. The poor farmer said to his wife, 'Hanuman has come to us. This is surely a blessing and perhaps he will change our fortunes.' But Hanuman did not visit the farmer and remained in the trees and hillsides nearby, singing songs and chanting verses about Rama. At last, prompted by his wife, the farmer went into the forest to speak to Hanuman and seek his blessing because their poverty was desperate. He said, 'Best of monkeys, friend of Rama, your coming is auspicious. My wife and I are very poor and I know that you surely have the power to relieve us of the burden of poverty.' Hanuman said, 'The burden of poverty is like the burden of life. Wealth may even weigh upon men who have none of it, for neither wealth nor poverty has value. You are not liberated from poverty by mere wealth. Consider this and ask from me something better and I may grant it to you.' The farmer said, 'Your words are mysterious, incomprehensible. I am not a Brahmin or even well educated. To understand you is to me like chasing after wind. You know a way for us out of poverty; tell me.' Hanuman said, 'Though you did not understand me, still I will give you a way to fulfill your wish. But you must do as I say.' The farmer agreed and Hanuman said, 'You must tear down your house. This is my answer to you and the way that is best for you. Set fire to it tonight. Tear out its walls tomorrow. Then dig out its foundation. Do not leave a single stone standing upon another.' The farmer said, 'What you suggest is madness! I am poor and yet you promise me a path to wealth by destroying the only thing of value I have remaining to me?' and he refused to do it. Hanuman merely shrugged and leapt from the ground into the trees, and then left the forest altogether. Many years went by and the farmer and his wife died and a new owner took possession of the house. Like the farmer before him, he too was poor but had heard the story of Hanuman's advice and decided, 'Though I am poor, I will do as Hanuman says. And if I become wealthy, I will devote myself to pure work without expectation of reward.' He tore down the house and when he discovered the vast treasure buried beneath its foundation, he gave of that wealth freely, expending only on himself what he needed to live. But, while he lived, the wealth he uncovered was inexhaustible and he spent his many years spending it in the way of charity to others."
Aurangzeb said, "Answer my question, hypocrite!"
The boy said, "After the Buddha ascended, his disciple and cousin Ananda spoke to Buddha's followers who despaired of the Buddha's departure. Ananda said: 'Always alive in Him, you do not find Him until you are dead to yourselves. Always alive, but sleeping, you do not awaken until you wake to Him. Always free from this world, you are prisoners until you let go of the world. His living creatures wander in death, and imagine they are alive. His sleeping children revel in dreams, and imagine they are awake. He has set you all free, but still you cling to the chains of this world. The world does not bind you, except that you bind yourselves to the world. You self-imprisoned ones imagine that life is death and death is life, for you lack perception. Know that all is death except what brings you nearer to Him.'
"If these notions are so alien to Islam, inform me and I will remove the stones from this temple with my own hands. Can't you see that the path of Rama, of Krishna, of the Buddha leads to knowledge achieved by believers who steadfastly follow the path of Moses, Jesus and Muhammad? Why is this proof insufficient to you? What darkness in your heart holds you back?"
