“So we don’t know her name or anything about her except that she steals stuff and has a portal generator. And a box of evil that can possibly suck a person into another dimension.”
“Only you saw the box, so I can’t verify the last.”
“I can verify it.”
Willard grunted. “Since the police are also looking for the van, we’ve got some help. Oh, we figured out what she stole.”
“Some heinous artifact with instructions on how to ensnare innocent half-elves?”
“A book.”
“That might get me if it’s a scintillating fast-paced fantasy novel with a suitable amount of romance and snarky banter.”
“It was written in dwarven by one of their famous explorers from centuries past. Freysha translated it a couple of months ago. It has chapters on the haunted world of Nagnortha.”
“Uh.” That unappealing place was coming up way too often.
“It was deposited in the artifacts room before I was stationed here,” Willard said. “Our agents originally found it in an abandoned mine up near Granite Falls. A dwarven colony lived there once and left some of their belongings behind when they cleared out.”
“What kind of thief steals a book?” Amber asked, standing close enough to eavesdrop. Apparently, my day’s drama was more interesting than her text messages.
Willard must have heard because she said, “An erudite one. Be careful, Thorvald. It could be someone smarter than you.”
“I’ve stolen books, too, you know,” I said, though that was perhaps not the best thing to admit with my daughter standing by. It had been during my wayward youth when Mom hadn’t had enough money to give me an allowance, and I’d been too young to get a job.
“Your mom’s Jackie Collins collection when you were a kid doesn’t count,” Willard said.
Amber snickered.
I shook my head. “You said there were other chapters on other things? Anything in it about weapons smithing? I thought the thief might be researching my sword.”
“She’ll be disappointed if that’s why she grabbed it. Freysha didn’t find anything in that book or any of the others she translated that referenced dragon blades. I know because I specifically asked her to look for that. It’s one of the reasons I wanted her to translate the dwarven books we’ve got.”
“I didn’t know you cared about the history of my sword.”
“I thought someone should know how it works. Hold on.” Willard stopped speaking while someone in the background reported to her. It sounded like Captain Brisco. “They found the van parked downtown near Occidental Square,” Willard told me. “The police have checked it out, but it’s empty with no sign of the thief.”
“Occidental Square?” Unease settled into my gut for a new reason. “That’s where Nin’s food truck is.”
“There’s no reason a thief from another country should be aware of her.”
“No? She’s aware of me. Since she failed with the box, she might think kidnapping one of my friends is a way to force me to give my sword to her.”
“Well, go check. I was going to ask you and Zavryd to try to find her anyway. I’m positive the police won’t have any luck capturing anyone sneaky enough to have gotten into our office and past the magical alarms.”
“I’ll get down there as soon as I can.” I cared more about making sure Nin was all right than finding the thief, but I had a feeling I’d have to confront this woman sooner or later.
I turned toward the exit and almost smacked into Amber. Ugh, I had to drive her home first, and Thad’s house was in the opposite direction.
“Zav? Will you do me a favor and fly down to Nin’s food truck and make sure she’s okay? There’s someone new trying to get my sword, and we know she parked her stolen van in that area.”
“I have only just returned to this world, and you wish me to leave you? Darkness has fallen outside. I assumed we would go to your abode, consume food, and enjoy carnal pleasures.”
“Ew,” Amber said.
“We will,” I promised. “Just make sure nobody bothers Nin until I can get there, please. Traffic willing, I’ll be there in an hour.”
My phone buzzed with a text from Thad.
Are you almost here?
Almost. We stopped for teriyaki takeout, and they messed up our order.
“Make it an hour and a half, Zav. I have to get dinner along the way.” And hope they got the order wrong so I wouldn’t be a liar.
I don’t think you understand how grounding works, Val, Thad replied.
You can explain it to me when we get there.
“You are acquiring food?” Zav asked.
“Yes. Watch over Nin, and I’ll bring you skewers of meat.”
“That is acceptable.”
As I led Amber to the Jeep, I told myself that Zav would protect Nin and that she wouldn’t be endangered—again—simply because she knew me. I hoped I was right.
6
“I’m missing my pot stickers,” Amber said, rummaging through our bag of takeout as I drove her north toward Edmonds.
“Good. That means I didn’t lie to your father.”
It was too dark to see the eye roll, but I knew it was there.
“I’d rather have my pot stickers than you have a clear conscience.”
“Pot stickers are ephemeral. A conscience is forever.”
She snorted. “Nice vocabulary word.”
“It was on one of Nin’s word-of-the-day apps.” I eyed her. “Why’d you punch the kid in school? Do you need me to show up and grow roots around his ankles?”
“I knew you did that.”
“Old dog learning new tricks.”
“Uh huh. Please don’t show up at my school. It was bad enough that Dad had to come. At least he doesn’t dress like Rambo’s girlfriend.”
“You’d have bigger problems than my lack of fashion sense if he did.”
“That’s the truth.” She noshed on an eggroll and didn’t answer my question.
Since I hadn’t really been her mother for more than ten years, I didn’t feel I had the right to advise her or order her to be a good girl, but I worried that she would get into more trouble. I also worried that this boy had been harassing her and would continue to do so. The idiots from the skate park popped into my mind, and I clenched my jaw, furious anew that twenty-something guys had been hitting on her.
“Did they get all of Zav’s chicken and beef skewers?” It wasn’t the question I wanted to ask, but if I kept the conversation going, maybe what I wanted to know would slip out of her.
“I didn’t count them all.”
“I thought you liked math.”
“Counting isn’t math. I can’t believe you ordered twenty of them and spent over a hundred dollars. Who spends a hundred dollars at a teriyaki place?”
“Someone dating a dragon.”
“Does he turn into a dragon to eat?”
“No.”
“Then where does it all go? It’s not possible for a human stomach to hold twenty chicken skewers.”
“Magic is a powerful thing.”
Amber hunched lower in her seat. “Wish I knew some. Then I could make roots come up out of the ground and pin dumbasses to their lockers. And rip their pants off.”
“You’re radiating hostility.” I kept my tone casual, hoping she wouldn’t see this as prying. “Any dumbass in particular?”
“The soccer team.”
“The whole team?” I turned off Highway 99 and drove as slowly as I reasonably could, not wanting to reach the house before getting to the bottom of this.
“All except two. The guys I know from debate are okay. The rest are pigs. One of them has made me his special project. They’ve probably got bets going, like in all those stupid teen movies.”
“You should watch science fiction. The plots are more stimulating.”
“Like where Princess Leia is in a bikini and chained to Jabba the Hutt?”
I knew Thad had made her watch Star Wars
. “That’s more futuristic fantasy than sci-fi. Try 2001, the Matrix, or Gattaca. Your dad would be beside himself with adoration if you said you wanted to watch them with him.”
“Dad’s not talking to me.”
“Did you tell him why you punched the kid?”
“It’s not like he can do anything. He won’t let me go to a private school.”
“They have soccer teams at private schools too.”
“I’m just tired of the kids at mine.”
“I felt that way about high school too.” Maybe commiseration would get me further than prying. We turned from 212th onto Main Street. I was running out of driving time. “You may find this shocking, but I wasn’t one of the popular kids.”
“You just gave me a list of your favorite science-fiction movies. Why would I be shocked?”
“Because in your movies, the tall blonde girls are always popular.” I was a little surprised Amber wasn’t, or at least that she was having trouble this year. My excuse was that I’d grown up in the woods in Mom’s converted school bus and had barely known how to have conversations with normal people when I’d gone from homeschooling straight into public high school.
“Not when you’re six feet tall. And in the AP classes. And don’t want to date anyone. Why does that make you every horny guy’s special project? Everything was fine last year, but then I got boobs and became more interesting or something. And the girls I thought were my friends are annoyed because the guys are asking me out instead of them. Like it’s my fault. I’m not even charming.”
“Really.” I didn’t mean for Willard’s deadpan to infuse my voice, but it might have happened.
“Was it like that for you? You must have been hot. I mean you still are. You know what a MILF is, right?”
“Yeah, we had that term even back in the nineties. How lovely that it’s still trendy.” I turned the Jeep onto Thad’s street, slowing it to a crawl. “So, I’ve got a couple of ideas for you if you’re interested.”
“From personal experience?”
“From personal experience.”
She fell silent, and I imagined wheels turning as she decided if my experience could possibly be relevant and if she truly wanted advice from me. I was encouraged that she’d opened up as much as she had.
“Go ahead,” she said grudgingly. “But don’t say anything stupid or after-school-special-ish.”
“I’ll use my vocabulary words if you want.”
That earned another snort. I couldn’t tell if it was derisive or appreciative of my humor. Probably the former.
“Well, I never found that turning your back and walking away was that useful. You usually just get jeered at and harassed more, despite all the advice out there to do just that. Having a quick wit can be a great weapon—I know you can whip that out—and if you can insult them cunningly enough to make them look like idiots in front of their friends every time, they’ll probably stop approaching you, but you may make an enemy for life, and that won’t help with popularity.”
“I don’t care about popularity.” Amber didn’t sound that convincing, and I guessed that her existing friends being annoyed with her stung more than the drama with the boys. “And I get flustered when they’re bothering me. I always think of the witty insults five minutes after they’ve gone away.”
“That’s pretty typical.” I pulled into the driveway. All the lights in the house were on, and Thad’s silhouette was visible at the living-room window. “Another option is the decoy boyfriend.”
“And that is what?”
“Make a deal with a boy who’s been a friend for a while, who also isn’t dating anyone, and who’s just cool enough that the soccer team won’t try to beat him up. Pretend you’re dating, and then the other guys will get that you’re not available and should leave you alone.”
“You want me to lie about dating someone?”
“Just make sure he knows about it and doesn’t care. Maybe you can offer to do his homework or something.”
“Val, parents aren’t supposed to give advice like that.”
“What did you expect from the woman who ate your pot stickers before we got in the Jeep?”
“You did not.” She squinted at me. “Did you?”
“I told you. Pot stickers are ephemeral.”
“You only get bonus points for using a vocabulary word once.”
“You’re a tough audience.”
Thad opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, his hands on his hips.
Amber sighed, grabbed her practice gear and one of the takeout bags, and slid out of the Jeep.
“Make sure to leave Zav’s skewers,” I said.
“Don’t worry. Nobody wants your dragon’s meat.”
“Well, not nobody,” I murmured before considering Amber’s above-average hearing.
“Gross, Val. Parents also don’t make sex jokes in front of their kids.”
“No? I bet you won’t compare me to an after-school special again.”
“That’s a fact.” She shut the door and walked through the elegantly landscaped front yard, muttering a response to Thad’s query asking if she was okay, but not pausing. She disappeared inside.
I wished I knew if anything I’d said had helped.
Though I was tempted to peel out of there, both to avoid a lecture from Thad and because I hadn’t heard from Zav yet and was worried about Nin, Thad headed toward the driveway. I’d missed my opportunity for a swift departure.
I stepped out of the Jeep, leaned against the door, and asked, “Eggroll?” as he approached.
“No. Look, Val—”
“I’m sorry.” I lifted my hands. “I should have brought her back right away. I was trying to suss out what was wrong and why she was punching boys.”
“Yeah? And how’d that go?” His voice dripped with sarcasm, which was unusual for him. He had to be frustrated with the whole situation.
“She told me a few things.”
He rocked back, losing some of his bluster. “She did?” The surprise turned to a scowl. “She wouldn’t tell me anything.”
“You two probably didn’t have a similar high-school experience. I seem to remember you admitting that nobody hit on you, not the other way around.”
“Not nobody, just… not many. Wait.” Thad shook his head. “They’re hitting on her? Like harassing her?”
“You don’t punch a boy who politely takes no for an answer and walks away.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Fury blazed in his eyes, and he looked ready to punch someone himself. But he walked that back, visibly loosening the fists he’d balled. “I’m going to talk to her principal tomorrow. And get the names of those kids. And talk to their parents.”
“Ugh, don’t do that. They’ll definitely harass her then.”
“What would you have me do then?”
“See if she can figure it out. I gave her some advice.”
“Great. She’ll switch from punching people to shooting them.”
“That wasn’t my advice. Just start tossing out decoy boyfriend when you pass her around the house.”
“I don’t know what that means, but I’m positive it’s not the correct answer.”
“Hey, my advice is brilliant. Aren’t things going better with you and Nin since you got her the rice maker?”
He slumped against one of the landscaping boulders, some of the stiff anger draining out of him. “That was a good suggestion. And I don’t know what exactly happened that night Amber… came to your house.” He’d been about to say ran away, I gathered, but couldn’t bring himself to say it. “But she’s been less hostile toward Nin since then. They muttered hi to each other the last time Nin, uhm, came to breakfast.”
Stayed the night and was there for breakfast, he meant.
“That’s good.” I didn’t expand on what had gone on that night—I’d been terrified Amber would tell Thad about everything, including the naked-fae orgies we’d been marched past, but she must have decided to
take that story to the grave.
“It’s better anyway,” he said. “It’s still… awkward.”
I thought about mentioning my blunder with the dragon-meat joke—speaking of awkward—but decided that would horrify him instead of reassuring him.
“She’ll get used to Nin. I’m glad you two are enjoying spending time together.”
My mate, Zav spoke into my mind, distracting me from Thad’s response. I am protecting your acquaintance from the odious vermin encroaching on her territory and await your excellent company and your arrival with dinner.
I’m heading that way now. Is everything okay?
None of the vermin have dwarven blood. We will have to look elsewhere for the thief.
Good. I hoped that meant the thief hadn’t been by to see Nin at all, but I worried that the choice of parking places hadn’t been a coincidence.
My phone buzzed with a text from Nin.
Val, why is Lord Zavryd standing on top of my food truck and roaring to scare away my customers?
He’s protecting you.
I do not need protection from people who wish to give me money in exchange for food.
Sorry. I’m on my way, and I’ll explain everything. Someone new is after me.
Will you need more magical ammunition and grenades?
Probably so.
Thad was looking curiously at the phone.
“Nin says hi. I have to go.” I waved and added, “Decoy boyfriend,” as I climbed into the Jeep.
7
Zav was perched atop Nin’s food truck when I arrived, sitting on his haunches in his dragon form as he gazed alertly at the square and the street, his tail draping down to the ground in the back. I imagined the framework creaking and groaning as Nin and her assistant grilled beef and scooped rice.
Three customers stood in line at the window, oblivious to and unable to see the dragon, even though Zav’s talons were curled over the edge of the truck, three feet above their heads. Hopefully, Nin had conveyed to him that the odious vermin should be allowed to approach if they had money.
Thank you for protecting my friend so assiduously. I stopped on the sidewalk and held up the teriyaki takeout bag.
Secrets of the Sword 2 (Death Before Dragons Book 8) Page 5
