But James had been a different man back then. He’d not been looking for a wife. It was likely that Kim would have simply been another woman he’d thought pretty enough to flirt with, but he’d have never given her a serious thought.
Until she sang.
If she’d sang at any public function, he’d have been after her at once. Her voice was an angel’s. He’d not have been able to resist. And he’d have likely had to fight other lords to get to her.
Just thinking about other men taking pleasure in her beauty and her voice made James want to do violence.
“What was that thought you just had?” Lore asked, watching him closely.
James ran a hand down his face. “Nothing.”
“Society will receive her well in London,” Anthony said, as though pulling the thought right out of his head.
“We’re not going to London,” James declared.
Lore straightened. “You’re skipping the entire Season? But… you’re married.” He moved forward on his seat. “Your wife has never been to Town. You must take her. You love it there and surely, she’d want to see it.”
James shook his head even though everything Lore said was true. “We’ll remain here.”
“Forever?” Hero asked cautiously.
James looked away. “There is plenty to be enjoyed in the country.”
Lore laughed. “How much effort did it take you to say those words?”
“Not much,” he lied. Lore knew him well. Better than most.
“I’m sure you don’t believe them.” Lore stood. “You may have been hurt, but I know you. You enjoy the city like no other place. You rarely came to the country after your father’s death.”
“If you’ve failed to notice, things have changed,” James growled and began to prowl the room again.
“But don’t you think Lady Denhallow would enjoy London?” Ayers pressed. “We all believed that with this new match, you’d have decided to rejoin the world.”
James looked around the room and wondered why he was surprised that the men had been speaking about him. “We’ll stay here.”
“We can take her,” Anthony said casually. “You can hide here but let Kim experience the theatre and ice from Gunther’s. It’s only right.”
James’ stomach turned. He did wish Kim to experience everything the city had to offer, but the very thought of being away from Kim for months… “Out of the question.”
The room fell into silence again.
Asher said, “If you are embarrassed about the little show you put on at the party I hosted two years ago, I can promise you that Society has all but forgotten. So many new scandals have taken place since then.”
“And I forgive you for attacking me,” Anthony said.
James looked away from them. “I don’t care about that.”
“Then it’s your face,” Lore said. “It’s not too terrible.”
James swung around to look at him. “Did you see the dowager’s reaction to me? There will be a thousand like her.” He sighed. “It is better that I remain here.”
Their conversation ended with the arrival of Kim, followed by the wives of the other women.
Kim approached him and whispered, “I’m sorry.” Her brows were pulled together with concern.
Her apology only made him feel worse. “Don’t. I heard everything.” He touched her cheek. The move seemed so natural at that moment. Just as natural as when she leaned into his palm. Yes, his wife needed touch and surprisingly, she enjoyed his.
Her skin was warm underneath his hand. “Of course, you heard. I didn’t know anyone was in this room. I’d never used the drawing room before.”
Aware of eyes on them, he lowered his hand to her shoulder. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Choosing me,” he said quietly. “Over them.”
“Of course, I chose you. You’re my husband,” she said in genuine confusion.
He smiled.
Valiant spoke from across the room. “James, if you no longer have your residence in the city, you and Kim are more than welcome to stay with us for the Season.”
James looked at Valiant and noticed when her husband whispered something into her ear. Valiant frowned and then turned to Anthony.
“What do you mean they are not coming to London?” Valiant asked aloud.
Brinley and Beatrix looked confused as well.
A glance at Kim showed her to be worrying her lower lip.
“We should go inspect that pond,” Lore announced as he moved from his chair. He offered Brinley his arm. “Come on. Let’s give them some time alone.”
The others left quickly.
James took a step away from Kim once they were gone. “You wish to go to London.”
She shook her head, but it was not a true denial. “We can remain. I’ve never had a Season. I don’t truly know what I’m missing.”
But she knew some, thanks to his letter. He’d encouraged her to go to London and now he was keeping her back.
This woman was willing to stand by him against those who had raised her. Yet he rewarded that loyalty by putting her in a cage. He thought about his own captivity when he’d been kidnapped. He never wanted Kim to feel that way.
Yet… he couldn’t go to London. He simply couldn’t, and neither would he allow her to leave him.
His cowardice ate at him.
She approached him and captured his head in her hands. He was bending down before he could convince himself to stop. Her lips against his melted any resistance he’d thought to form. The kiss was sweet and coy.
She pulled away with a smile. Her eyes were warm. One of her hands stroked down his chin, not even bothering to avoid his scars. It was as though she accepted every part of him, maybe even parts he had yet to accept himself.
“Why don’t you fear me?” he asked. “Why do you not shy away when you see me? Even when we first met, you did not run. You married me. Why?”
She moved her hands up to his hair, her gaze full of pleasure.
He’d begun to close his own eyes when she said, “I cannot fear what makes me feel safe. With you, I am safe.”
“How do you know?” he said.
“I simply do.” She took her hands and pressed them to her heart. “I knew it here even before we met. Though it makes no sense. I should fear you. For a while, I feared every man who looked upon me.”
James asked the most logical question even though he feared the answer. “Why?”
∫ ∫ ∫
2 8
James watched Kim carefully as he waited for her answer.
“My lover from Oxford. He tried to make me a kept woman. He threatened to tell my family what we’d done together.” She looked so very alone in her thoughts.
James wrapped his arms about Kim and pulled her in. He needed to hold her in order to remind himself that she was his. This love she spoke of was in the past.
Kim pressed against him, as though seeking warmth. She placed her head on his chest and he immediately relaxed around her. Until she began to speak again.
“At first, I fancied Ralph greatly, but when he offered me the position of mistress instead of wife, I realized how foolish I’d been to give him my heart and body. I tried to stop our relations, but I’d effectively trapped myself by bedding him. He threatened me with what we’d done. He knew I’d be dismissed from the school if anyone found out. My family would likely reject me.”
James locked his arms around her further. He wanted to destroy this Ralph who’d brought his woman pain, but he focused on healing instead. Bringing her comfort was far more important. It was a thought he knew he’d never have had if he’d not met Kim. “Your family would not have rejected you, Kim. I see how much they love you. There are those who’d have heard my title and simply given their daughter to me, never mind how I’d actually treat her. Your family fights for you even though you are bound to me.”
Kim stiffened slightly and then locked her arms around him. He knew his words h
ad made her think of something horrible, but the feel of her arms around him allowed him to let the matter go. “Perhaps you are right, but I’ve lived with that fear for so long I don’t know if I can ever let it go. Sarah might accept me, but if my mother or brother knew the truth…”
“They’d forgive you,” he said. “After all, they were willing to face me in order to see you again.”
* * *
Kim allowed James’ words to sink in.
Would her family forgive her for her foolish mistakes of the past? Her mother’s need for perfection seemed to go against the very notion and it was likely her brother still thought of her as an innocent even with her being married. He was so very protective of her.
“I should go speak to them.” She hated that she’d sent them from her home, but James was right. This was their home and more importantly, his sanctuary. His safe place. While James himself was her safe place.
She’d protect both.
Kim leaned away and looked up at him. “Aunt May’s home isn’t far.” Her family had already departed for it. Lady Macy’s servant had been swift in responding to the note she’d sent off, Nora had told her when she’d left her room with Lady Valiant to speak with Brinley and Beatrix. She found that she adored all the women and speaking with them had helped tremendously.
And one thing rang true: Family could be difficult, especially when they loved each other.
“I won’t be gone for long,” Kim said. “Hopefully.”
“So long as you return to me.” He touched her cheek again. “It is all that matters to me.”
I will always return to you.
That thought and the strength of her resolve shocked her. “If you are asleep when I return, I shall wake you,” she said.
Creases formed at the corners of his dark eyes. His lips lifted on one side. The look was very good on him. “It is unlikely that I will sleep, but come to me either way.”
Was that an invitation to sleep in his bed again?
She straightened his jacket where she’d wrinkled it. Her fingers trembled. She was worried about her family but also struggling with her growing feelings for her husband.
Valiant had asked her if she loved him, and she’d been too busy thinking about her family to ponder the question. And she decided now was not the moment to think about it either.
“You’ll have to entertain our guests while I’m away,” she said instead as she continued to distract herself with his clothes.
He groaned. “Hurry back.”
“All right.” She smiled at him and then left the room.
She was ready moments later. In the back of the carriage, she worried that her family would not be at Lady Macy’s at all. What if they’d simply decided to return home or even begin their journey to London? What if they wanted nothing to do with her?
She arrived at Lady Macy’s and was quickly greeted by the sight of Sarah in the foyer. Their eyes caught and then Sarah rushed to her.
Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Kim. I’m so sorry we ever came. I hope we didn’t ruin things between you and the marquess.”
Kim shook her head and then grabbed her friend into a hug. “James and I are perfectly fine. There’s no need to worry.”
Her friend shook in her grip. “Kim.” She leaned away. “Forgive us. Forgive Charles. He’s simply been so worried and your mother… She and Louvell have told everyone in Leeds how Lord Denhallow carried you out in an effort to save your and Louvell’s reputations. I believe the story has grown so much that she doesn’t remember truth from the fiction. It’s almost as if she doesn’t recall that you willingly left with him that morning.”
Kim felt cold fear pour into her blood. “She’s told people that James stole me?”
Sarah nodded and took Kim’s hand. “But don’t worry. Anyone who sees you two together will know you were not forced into the match…” She paused before she added, “Which is likely what Charles wants the courts to believe.”
Kim gasped. “I must speak to my brother. Right now.”
Sarah closed her eyes. Tears continued to fall. “I hate that this had come between us.”
Kim squeezed her hands. “Nothing can ever come between us, Sarah. James would have allowed you to stay, but I knew that you would never do so without Charles.”
Sarah opened her eyes. “That is good to know, for I would love anyone who looked at you as he does.”
Kim didn’t ask Sarah to explain exactly how James looked at her.
“Your brother loves you, Kim. So does your mother. Please, remember that when you speak to them.”
Kim left Sarah in went up to find her mother and Aunt May sitting in the drawing room. Her aunt was not surprised to see her, which meant she’d learned from a servant of her arrival. The dowager all but avoided Kim’s gaze after that first glance.
“I will leave you both alone,” Aunt May announced right before she departed.
“It is been so long since I’ve seen Aunt May. It is good to be acquainted with her again,” her mother said when the door closed. She looked at Kim with sadness in her gaze. “Speaking with her reminded me of just how much she disapproved of the choice I made, but you know, I would make it again if I could. I loved your father.”
There was that love word again.
Kim moved and sat by her mother. “James is a wonderful man, Mama. If only you could see past the scars—”
“You are right,” the dowager said with a shiver. “I think of the violence that must have taken place to get something like that and forget it was not he who did the violence, but someone else.” She took Kim’s hand. “Marquess or not, I simply want you to be safe.”
Those words touched her.
“I am more than safe. He cares for me,” Kim told her. Though, James had never said those exact words himself.
Her mother stared at her for a moment and then nodded slowly. “Yes. All right. I will make sure to tell my friends when we return to Leeds that you and the marquess are… happy. I may have… informed them otherwise.”
It was the very last thing Kim wished to worry about at the moment, though she could not ignore her anger that there was yet another reason for people to think ill of her husband.
But her mother had apologized and once again, her mother had lied to save Kim’s reputation. How many times had Kim lied to save her own?
Her musing was cut short by Charles’ swift arrival.
Her brother’s face may have well had been cut with stone for all the warmth it offered Kim. “Have you come to remove us from here as well?”
Kim stood. “No, but we must speak.”
Her mother stood and then kissed Kim’s cheek. “We’ll speak later.”
Her brother approached her the moment their mother was gone. “I have never been so embarrassed in all my life, and not just in front of one duke, but two! You cannot imagine how very hard you will make Sarah’s entry into Society if we are shunned by your husband’s friends.”
Kim twisted her hands together and looked down. “So, you do not feel poorly about your part in this?”
He lifted her chin and narrowed his gaze. “Who are you? I don’t even recognize you anymore.”
She opened her mouth to retort, but his next words stopped her lips. And her heart.
“I’ve not recognized you in years,” Charles said in a lower voice as he let her go. “I’ve seen glimpses of the woman my sister used to be, but you’re different, and I can only assume it was because of something that took place at the school.”
Kim’s heart kicked into a gallop. Lies were at the tip of her tongue, but instead, she chose the truth.
∫ ∫ ∫
2 9
“Something did happen while I was away,” Kim whispered. “Something… Lord Louvell would have never accepted had I married him. My reputation and my life would have been ruined.”
Her brother narrowed her eyes. He was not a fool. He would likely guess at what she’d done though he’d never say the words aloud. “I sus
pected but was too cowardly to ask. I never wanted you to go to that school, but Mother thought you needed refinement. She wanted you to be without flaw, but no one is.” He paused for a moment. “Was it Lord Denhallow? He did attend Oxford.”
“No, Charles!” Kim took a step away. “But James has found it in his heart to forgive me of my sins. He is a good man.”
Charles continued to watch her. She searched his gaze for disgust, for a sign that he did not wish to be near her, his scandal-ridden sister. “If he is a good man, then he is likely the only one who made it out of his ordeal whole, which is hard to believe, considering it is said he is the only one of them who bears visible scars.”
Kim shook her head. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“The Lost Lords,” Charles said. “I’ve been looking into them, asking after them. If Denhallow is sane, then he is more adjusted than the other four, for the others don’t venture into Society. Ever. All have abandoned their families and when seen, I am told, they are not kind.”
Kim hadn’t known this, though she admitted that she’d purposefully not looked into the Lost Lords matter because she wanted James to tell her everything. “I didn’t know.”
“It is why I do not trust him.” Charles took her hands. “I failed you once, Kim. I do not wish to fail you again.”
She nearly wanted to weep at her brother’s words. All these years, she’d been holding onto her secret. And when he finally learned the truth, he’d not rejected her. She also wished to weep for the other men who had been damaged by their kidnapping.
She needed to be with James at that moment, needed to see him, touch him more than ever. “You’ve not failed me, Charles. Everything has worked out for the best. I am happy. James is not like the others.”
He held her eyes and then nodded, but the tension remained in his face. “I’ll allow this marriage to go on,” he said, as though he had the power to stop it. “But please, do not hesitate to come to me if you need help. I may not be of equal rank to your marquess, but I am your brother.”
Kim wrapped her brother in a hug. “If I ever need you, I will come.” She knew it was what her brother needed to hear. And she vowed, if one day James could not help her, she would call on Charles. The distance she’d placed between her family could not remain. She had to let them in.
Mark of The Marquess (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 14
