by S S Bazinet
Arel walked over to Rolphe. “What vision are you talking about now?”
Rolphe avoided Arel’s eyes. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
Arel glared back. “Tell me!”
Rolphe swallowed hard. “William was just a small boy, and he was begging his father to stop hunting his little fox friends. I could feel his precious heart breaking. Then his father did something even more terrible.”
Arel was instantly sorry that he’d asked for details. As Rolphe talked about his vision, Arel didn’t just hear the words, he became a bystander to events that chilled him to the bone. First, there were the screams of a pitiful animal. It was being torn apart by hounds while it was still breathing. Then Arel saw little William. He was just a young, frightened boy who was going mad with grief, a helpless witness to a monstrous event. And then there was William’s father who stood there laughing and enjoying his son’s torment.
As Arel came back to himself, he struggled to remain in control. “That bastard of a father! He wanted a son who was as cold and heartless as he was.”
Arel’s fury went into overdrive. If he could have resurrected the dead, he’d have brought back William’s father only to murder him on the spot. When he calmed himself a little, he targeted Rolphe. “Why, Rolphe? Why would you do such a thing?”
Rolphe rocked back and forth, but remained mute. With head bowed and shoulders thrust forward, he seemed to be caving in on himself.
Arel wanted to hate Rolphe, but his inner sight was operating in spite of his emotional outrage. When he tuned into Rolphe, he saw the child that Rolphe had once been. That boy had been given a body that was too big for his age. That child didn’t have an ounce of malice in his bones. Yet he’d been forced to be a soldier. As he was taught to kill and maim, that child gave up on himself, just like William had given up.
Arel stumbled back to a chair, overwhelmed by it all. Why did life have to be so painful? Why had his father beaten him? Why had William’s heart been ravaged when he was just a child? Why had Rolphe suffered all that he’d suffered?
As he sat there pondering the countless cruelties, he felt someone tap his knee. When he looked up, Rolphe was kneeling in front of him. He’d never seen eyes that were so filled with sorrow as Rolphe’s when he spoke.
“You and William are as precious to me as my boys were when they were alive on this earth. Yet, I’ve harmed William again, in a most grievous and unforgivable way. I don’t deserve to live. If it would help, strike me down on the spot.”
How could Arel respond to such a statement? How could he judge the man in front of him when he’d made so many unforgivable mistakes himself? Still, he didn’t know how to get beyond his critical thoughts about the man.
When he looked up, Michael was staring back at him. The angel’s summer-blue eyes were clear and untroubled. Arel knew that Michael never entertained any of the darkness that people experienced. Silently, he begged Michael for his help. As usual, his request was granted. Michael’s light became a comforting oasis. It was a place where Arel could disengage from the heaviness of matter, if only for a few moments.
As he surrendered to Michael’s caring gaze, Arel felt some of his strength return. He also felt the courage to do whatever he needed to do. When he looked at Rolphe, his words flowed out without effort. “Get up, Rolphe. You still have work to do. You’re going to help me get William back.”
Forty
ANNABEL LAY IN her bed, thinking about the vivid dream she’d just had. William had come to her, telling her how much he loved her. He also said that he was going to be away for a while, on a retreat of sorts. She was to stay in Chicago for the time being. When he’d accomplished what he had to do, he’d call her.
But Annabel’s senses told her that the dream was more than just a normal one. When William had held her close and kissed her, she felt his deep, enduring affection. It was such a beautiful expression of the love they shared that it almost scared her. William wasn’t usually willing to allow something so intimate. He could be somewhat guarded, even around her.
She turned on her light and looked at the clock. It was three in the morning, but she knew she couldn’t go back to sleep. She threw off the covers and put on her robe and slippers. She thought about how much she wanted to share with William. She wanted to let him know that she was coming back to herself, to that strong spirit that she’d been as an angel.
She left her room and padded down the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible. She was surprised to see a light on in the kitchen. Elise was sitting at the table. Freddie was in his bed, but he noticed her, lifted his head in greeting, then went back to sleep.
Elise smiled when she saw Annabel. “Looks like neither of us can sleep. Would you like a cup of chamomile tea?”
“No, thank you,” Annabel said as she sat down.
Elise stared back with half-closed eyes. “I woke up an hour ago, and I’ve been awake since.”
“Is there something troubling you?”
Elise cradled her tea cup. “It’s strange, but I dreamed about Arel.”
“I just dreamed about William, but you know that Arel and William are in Paris. It seems that their friend, Rolphe, took ill.”
Elise nodded. “Yes, Carey told me about it when I was out with Freddie last night.”
Annabel hesitated. “I’m sorry, I should have said something sooner. I’ve been a bit distracted.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just that when Arel and William get together, they can—” Annabel took a deep breath, hoping to dispel the worrisome feelings that kept swirling around in her mind.
“What are you trying to say, Annabel?”
“It’s nothing. Sometimes I worry too much about them getting carried away.”
Elise leaned in with expectant eyes. “I’m sorry, but my curiosity is getting the better of me. Can you tell me a little more?”
Annabel knew she had to word her answer carefully. After all, Elise wasn’t privy to the idea of angelic blood or Arel and William’s inability to handle the stuff properly. “I suppose I could say that both of them seem more accident prone when they’re together.”
Elise let out a small gasp of concern. “Oh my, there was an accident in my dream about Arel. He was out searching for something or someone. It was very dark, and he lost his footing. I woke up just as he was about to go over a cliff.”
Annabel’s heart did an anxious leap. She had to quickly remind herself that Elise was only describing a dream. “Nightmares can be upsetting, but let’s not think the worst.”
“Of course you’re right. Arel’s in Paris, the lucky duck! I don’t think there are any dangerous cliffs around.”
Annabel pushed back from the table and got to her feet. Her worries were escalating, and she didn’t want to upset Elise. “I think I better go back to bed.”
Elise stood up too. “Annabel, do you know how wonderful it’s been having you here? I love that we can have these little chats.”
Annabel bit her lip and went over to give Elise a hug. “Thank you. I enjoy spending time with you too. But I can get sidetracked, especially when it comes to Arel and William.”
Elise laughed. “From what I can tell, they’re both a handful.”
Annabel smiled as she started back to bed. “Yes, a ‘handful’ is putting it mildly.”
Later, as she lay under her warm covers and thought about visiting Elise, she realized what a comfort it was to have her as a friend. They were forming a bond that made Annabel’s fears seem more manageable. Even so, she decided it would be a good idea to talk to Carey in the morning. She wanted his take on Elise’s nightmare.
* * * * *
It was still early and Carey was in the kitchen when Annabel knocked on the back door. When he invited her in, he noted her frown lines and an expression that told him that she was bracing herself for the worst. After she was seated at the table, he knew she could use a distraction. “Can I get you anything? I made some hot cocoa.�
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Annabel’s eyes flitted over to the stove. “Thank you, something hot might help to get rid of this chill that’s taken hold.”
Carey poured some of the contents of a saucepan into a mug. He handed it to Annabel. “You’re worrying about William.”
“Not just William, Arel too. If Elise’s dream is at all accurate, he could be in serious danger.”
Carey poured a second cup of the cocoa and sat down too. “Arel and adventure seem to go together.”
Annabel’s body trembled involuntarily. “Adventure? Oh please, Carey, he’s out-of-control most of the time.”
“Do you really believe that? Do you question Michael’s decision to give him angelic blood?”
Annabel’s frown deepened. “I didn’t when I had my wings, but from a human standpoint, I get confused. Last night, I told Elise that Arel and William are accident prone when they’re together. But in truth, Arel’s the one who’s dangerous. Whenever he’s around William, William ends up getting hurt.”
“So you think Arel is to blame for all of William’s troubles?”
Annabel clamped a shaky hand on the handle of her mug and guided it to her lips. After she took a sip, she trembled again, but she didn’t answer.
Carey reached out and put his hand over hers. “You’re cold. Are you feeling okay?”
Annabel smiled back. “You’re playing your human role very convincingly, Carey. But you know I don’t feel very good.”
“While I’m playing this role, as you put it, I’m trying to maintain the human parameters of perception. That way, I allow people to reveal what they want to reveal.”
“Well, stop it! I’m here to talk to the angel part of you, Carey. I want to know what’s going on with Arel and William.”
“And what about you? Has it ever helped you to know their affairs when you’re not a part of what they’re doing?”
Annabel’s face turned into a full blown pout of annoyance. “You know it hasn’t helped! It’s made my life as a human pure misery!”
Carey sat back. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you, but—”
Annabel crossed her arms. “Oh yes you are!”
“Annabel, remember when we first worked together. Remember when you and I accompanied Arel on that trip to New York. Arel was so angry at William. Arel had spent so many years hating the thought that he was a vampire and that William was responsible. As an angel, you knew that his anger wasn’t the answer. You knew that he had an opportunity to find peace in his life. We both wanted that for him.”
Annabel bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears that began to stream down her cheeks. “It was all so clear from that point of view. Now, I’m like Arel. I get so angry sometimes.”
Carey smiled and pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket. He handed it to Annabel.
Annabel took it and swiped at her face. “I didn’t know you carried one of these.”
“It was something that Michael learned from Arel. It’s come in handy with Elise a couple of times. But crying can be a good release for the body.”
Annabel laughed. “I’ve done a lot of ‘releasing’ since I took off my wings. You’d think I’d be more balanced by now.”
“You’ve only been a human for a very short amount of time. You’re doing very well considering the challenges you’ve had.”
Annabel laughed again, but this time there was a touch of sullenness in her tone. “Why didn’t I stay William’s angel, at least for a little longer? I could have helped him so much more if I wasn’t a bundle of fear and worry.”
“Tell that to Raphael.”
Annabel ran a finger over the rim of her mug. “Poor Raphael, I bet he hardly gets to voice any advice with William nowadays. My beautiful husband is so caught up in his drama.”
“That’s right, but William does think about you, Annabel. He loves you in a way that wouldn’t be possible if you still had your wings.”
“And I love him.”
“That’s true, and he feels that love. You know he does.”
Annabel sneezed, grabbed the handkerchief and blew her nose. “I have this strange feeling in my body. It’s not very pleasant.”
Carey eyed her carefully. “I think you’re getting a cold.”
Annabel blinked back with questioning eyes. “You mean I’m getting sick? I’ve never been sick before. What should I do?”
“I doubt that my advice would be of much help.”
“Why is that?”
“Getting sick can be a sign that you’re not being very good to yourself. The body suffers. But to reverse that, a person has to let go of the negativity they’ve been holding.”
Annabel pursed her lips. “You’re saying that I have to stop worrying. But how do you expect me to do that when I can feel something bad is about to happen to either Arel or William?”
“Like I said, my advice isn’t helpful if you feel that you can’t change what you’re doing.”
* * * * *
Peggy stood at Elise’s kitchen stove, warming up the soup she’d brought over. When Elise joined her, she gave her a hopeful glance. “How is Annabel feeling? She sounded so miserable when I talked to her on the phone this morning. That’s when I thought about my mom’s chicken soup. It seemed to help when I was a child.”
“That was very kind of you,” Elise said as she got a bowl out of the cupboard. “I think Annabel needs all the help she can get. She seems almost panicked by her symptoms. You’d think she’d never been sick before.”
Peggy ladled a portion of the soup into the bowl. “My little Sara is the same way. When she gets a sniffle, she lets us all know she’s not feeling well. I guess some people are more sensitive than others.”
“I’ve had so many migraines that I think I’ve learned to suffer quietly. It doesn’t do any good to make a fuss.”
“Tell me about it,” Peggy laughed. “Sometimes I feel like an old warhorse when it comes to life in general.”
“As one old warhorse to another, I’m hoping to have more fun from now on. When I look back on my life, I don’t feel like any good came out of what I considered the bad parts. I hung on to my resentment, and in the end, I’m the one who suffered, not the people I was angry at.”
Peggy laughed. “I think that’s called wisdom. Unfortunately, it takes a while to see things from that vantage point. Take me, for instance. I’m a first class worrier like Annabel. I’ve tried to change, and I’ve made a bit of headway, but I can still get upset. Last night, I had this terrible dream about Arel. Afterwards, I could have let it go, but it’s hard not to be alarmed. Some of my bad dreams were valid. Arel actually was in trouble.”
Elise tugged anxiously at the heart necklace she was wearing. “I had the same kind of dream last night. Arel fell off a cliff.”
Peggy put the bowl of soup on the table. “In my dream, Arel slipped down a flight of stairs.”
“Maybe our similar dreams are a coincidence. Like you said, Annabel is a worrier too. She didn’t dream about Arel. She dreamed about William and how loving he was.”
“Maybe, but I tried to call Arel this morning, and he didn’t answer. I got his voice mail.”
“What do you usually do in these situations?”
Peggy picked up the soup and headed out of the kitchen. “Most of the time I have to wait and see if I have another dream.”
Elise followed her. “I guess I’ll do the same. We can compare notes tomorrow.”
Peggy looked back and smiled. “Thanks, I feel better knowing I’m not alone in my strange dream escapades.”
Forty-One
WILLIAM OFTEN SAT in Rolphe’s living room, hoping to understand his situation. He’d started keeping notes of the time, but that didn’t help. Sometimes the hands of the clock barely moved a minute even though he’d counted to a thousand. Other times, hours were lost in a blink of an eye. He was definitely dreaming. Waking up was another matter. He hadn’t figured that one out. He’d even been desperate enough to try leaping off the ba
lcony of Rolphe’s apartment. A fright like that usually awoke the sleeper, but not in his case. He ended up falling into bed instead of landing on the sidewalk.
He’d been forced to wonder if his mind had derailed. Was he schizophrenic? Was he living in a delusional world because he couldn’t handle reality? When he asked himself for answers, he’d wake up in a slightly different version of a dream.
There was only one time when he escaped Rolphe’s apartment. He’d been thinking about Annabel and suddenly found himself at her bedside. As she slumbered, she was like the angel he remembered, so beautiful in every detail. When they were last together, he hadn’t appreciated her as much as he could have. He regretted that fact.
During his dream visit, there were moments that felt so solid and real. Thankfully, he did have a chance to tell her that he loved her. But as he watched her sleep, he began to wonder why he hadn’t been able to make a life with his ex-angel. Why had he felt so indifferent about their life together? Pondering his doubts was a mistake. After a few minutes of indulging in them, he was back in Rolphe’s apartment. He hadn’t been able to leave it since.
He was also finding it more difficult to have a conversation with anyone in the dream state. Rolphe had disappeared from his bed, and Arel was rarely around. There was only one person who appeared on command. The younger version of William was always available.
At first, William’s anger had dominated the time they had together. But his outbursts didn’t change anything. Young Will simply stared back, refusing to give in to the facts that William threw at him. As the dream state continued, William knew he had to try a different approach.
All of his efforts had to be aimed at getting out of the dream. Since Young Will seemed much more in control in the situation, William seated himself on a sofa and summoned him again. “Okay, let’s talk.”
Young Will appeared immediately on the opposite sofa. His arms were stationed across his chest. “I’m glad you decided to come to your senses.”
