“I won’t say anything,” India spoke past the lump in her throat.
“Thank you, India. I know I’m not the best sister in the world, but I do appreciate you. You’ve always been the one with the most heart. You’re the one who keeps us together.” Elaina squeezed her shoulder, then walked out of Byron’s office.
India stood there for several long, quiet minutes, the lump in her throat growing with each passing second. Her tears burned as the pain of thinking about potentially breaking things off with Travis hit her. If Elaina had even an inkling of affection left for Travis, could she really be with him? After all this time, Travis didn’t hold ill will toward Elaina. He’d hidden his dating life from Elaina for years so as not to upset her. He might come to the same realization as her.
Regardless of what happened next, if her sister found out, India faced the real possibility of having to once again let go of the man she loved.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
TRAVIS WAS MESMERIZED watching India’s solo during her performance at the museum. He’d always enjoyed watching her play. To see her get completely immersed in the music and lose herself in creating something beautiful reminded him of the way he felt whenever he was able to paint. Happy and content doing something he loved.
Her arm flowed effortlessly as she played. Her eyes were on the sheet of music, and a small smile played across her full lips, proof she was enjoying herself. She was beautiful.
I love her.
The thought rammed him in the chest. Falling in love with India wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but—despite his law degree—he didn’t claim to be a genius. Maybe he’d always loved her. Even when he’d just viewed her as a friend. Maybe that was why, even though years passed, he never could get her completely out of his mind.
Didn’t that happen when you were in love, thoughts of the person you loved always at the forefront of the mind? Now that he knew how he felt, he didn’t want to hide his emotions. What was he supposed to do with his love if they were keeping things a secret? Was he supposed to shove it back down into a box and pretend as if he didn’t care?
The music ended, and everyone clapped. Travis snapped out of his trance and joined in the applause.
India smiled at the crowd. Their gazes locked, and her smile softened into something sweeter. He itched with the need to hold her in his arms again. To be able to pull her into a hug and kiss her openly after her performance. He was not going to lose her.
He turned away before he did something stupid, like walk over and go with what he wanted. There was a cash bar set up and he decided to go have a drink.
“The music wasn’t that bad.” Ashiya’s voice came from over his shoulder.
“The music was great,” he told her. He glanced at the bartender. “Whiskey neat.” He pointed to Ashiya. “And whatever she wants.”
“You know I won’t turn down a drink.” Ashiya slid up next to him. “Chardonnay please.”
The bartender walked away to make their drinks and Travis focused on Ashiya. “I haven’t seen you in a while. How have things been?”
“Great, business is good. I’m not directly involved with the campaign, so that’s always a bonus in my book. How is the trial going?”
“Excellent,” he said with forced enthusiasm. “Each day I make my case, my family looks even more like they want to murder me.”
Ashiya threw him a sympathetic glance and patted his arm. “I’ll pray for you.”
“Please do.” He might need more than prayer. A bulletproof vest and twenty-four-hour security.
“I’ll pray on that and other things.”
“What else could I need praying for?” he asked.
The bartender set their drinks in front of them. Travis gave him cash, then took a sip. Ashiya toyed with the stem of her wineglass.
“I’m praying you and India come to your senses and stay away from each other.”
What the hell? The whiskey bypassed his throat and trickled into his windpipe. Travis coughed into his hand and slowly set the glass down. “Come again?” He looked around but there was no one close enough to overhear their conversation.
Ashiya appeared unfazed by dropping her bombshell. She watched him unsympathetically. “I saw you two kissing. I can’t believe you two have been fooling around for years.”
Travis cleared his throat again. The burning tickle of the drink faded along with his initial shock. “It hasn’t been years. Don’t say it like that.”
Ashiya gave him a pointed look. “Pining for each other for years is fooling around. Elaina’s going to be crushed when she finds out.”
Angry, yes, but crushed? Travis didn’t buy it. “She won’t be crushed.”
Ashiya leaned closer. “Where do you think this can go? Nowhere?”
“I want it to go somewhere,” he said fiercely. “I’m not going to settle for it not going somewhere.”
“Are you crazy? Uncle Grant isn’t going to let that happen.” She said the words as sure as someone saying grass is green and pigeons will shit on your windshield.
Bitter frustration tightened his shoulders. “Your uncle doesn’t rule my life anymore, Ashiya. I love India. I won’t let her go this time.”
Ashiya’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Look, I appreciate that you want to step in and give advice, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to take it. I bowed under the pressure of your family before, I won’t do that this time. I’m my own man.”
“You’ll tear them apart.”
He tried to pretend as if the words didn’t bother him. India and Elaina weren’t the closest sisters, but they cared for each other. They supported one another and he knew loyalty to each other was important to both women.
“Elaina won’t blame India. I’ll make sure of that.”
“You can’t make sure of that. If you won’t do this because it will go against what my uncle wants, then at least think about what you’re doing to Elaina and India’s relationship.”
Valid points he didn’t want to dwell on. He loved India. He’d walked away before. Why couldn’t he just finally have the woman he wanted? Finally be happy? “Why do you care?”
Her spine straightened, and she looked put off that he’d even question her. “Because I love India, too. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister. If you push this, then she’ll leave instead of facing a fight with her sister she can’t win. I’m sorry, Travis, but I’d rather you two be apart than lose my best friend again. Maybe you should think about that.”
Ashiya picked up her glass and stormed away. Travis gripped his whiskey in a fist. He wanted to kick the bar, but didn’t. After finally admitting how he felt about India, now he had to be faced with the noble decision to let her go. When the hell had he ever been noble and why should he start now?
He looked across the room and caught Elaina watching him. To his surprise, she crossed the room to him. Travis took a fortifying sip of the whiskey and faced her.
She stopped in front of him and clasped her hands in front of her. “I’ve been thinking about you,” Elaina said in a crisp, no-nonsense voice, her chin high.
“Thinking about shooting me?” he said, only partially joking.
The corner of her lip lifted in a hint of a smile. “Always that. No, I dreamed about you the other week.”
She remembered. He forced his hands to unclench the whiskey glass in his hand and appear unfazed. “You did?”
“I dreamed you were carrying me.”
“It wasn’t a dream,” he said. “I moved you from the kitchen to the sunroom. You’d...had too much to drink again.”
Her lips pressed together. She looked away. “Minor slipup.”
“That’s what you always called them.” How many minor slipups did a person have to have before they became a major problem?
“Don’t start this again,” Ela
ina said, exasperation clear in her tone. “I’m not an alcoholic.”
“I never said you were,” he said evenly.
“No, you just insinuated that I drink too much.”
A headache started in his left temple. He’d been hit with enough tonight. He didn’t want to add fight with the ex-wife to the list. “Can we not do this tonight, Elaina?”
“Have you looked at the calendar?” she asked in a rush. “Do you know what’s coming up?”
Pain ripped through his chest. No matter how much time passed, the pain hadn’t lessened. He wondered if it ever would. “I do.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Then maybe you can cut me some slack.”
He took a step closer to her. No matter what happened, they’d both always share the pain of that loss. “Elaina, if you need to talk...”
“Then I have friends I can talk to.” She stepped back and turned to walk away.
Travis reached out and placed a hand on her elbow. “Elaina, I never wanted to hurt you.”
She pulled out of his grip. “You never wanted to love me either.”
The words startled him. She didn’t make it easy to love her. Outside of their physical compatibility, she’d never opened up to him. Not even in the early days of their marriage. Eventually he’d stopped trying and went along with the charade of happiness they put on. “Did you want to love me?”
She glared at him with cold eyes. “What do you think?” Her voice dripped with scorn. “I don’t know why I came over here,” she muttered before walking away.
Travis groaned and picked up his drink. No, he didn’t think Elaina ever wanted to love him. If she had, they’d had years to try to make things work. He downed the rest of the whiskey. Frustration ate at his insides like rabid termites. Ashiya’s accusation and Elaina’s confrontation forced him to face the difficult hill he and India had to overcome. A hill he was willing to climb if it meant a lifetime with India.
* * *
“I REALLY SHOULD GO,” India said for the fifth time.
Unlike the four other times, she slowly peeled herself from Travis’s side and sat up on the couch. The movie they’d been watching was close to the end and she’d seen it plenty of times before. She’d only suggested watching it to prolong her time with Travis. She’d taken a risk and asked Ashiya for a favor in order to spend time after the concert with Travis instead of going home.
Maybe one of the last times.
Ashiya hadn’t been happy and told India she was playing with something dangerous. India brushed off her cousin’s warning, but as much as she craved being with him and couldn’t imagine pretending like she didn’t care, she also hated the deception. The lies made her feel like a teenager who had to sneak and hide to be with the unwelcome boyfriend.
Travis ran a hand down her back. “I think you should stay and we should tell your family and stop hiding what’s between us.”
India stilled. An incessant flutter of nerves attacked her stomach. Where had that come from? She got it, the night had been perfect...her performance, the hot glances and secret touches they’d exchanged after the performance, and coming back to his place to make love. Who wouldn’t think they were ready to “go public”?
Still, she intended to tell Travis she still didn’t want to let her family know about them. She wanted to keep things between them a little longer. She didn’t want to be faced with giving him up.
“And after we do all that, we can run off to Vegas and get married,” she said, trying to tease.
Travis didn’t crack a smile. “If that’s what it’ll take to get you to marry me. Then sure.”
India’s heart raced. Her lungs tried to supply oxygen, but her brain remained muddled. He couldn’t be serious. “You’re joking.”
Travis took her hand in his. “I’m not. What are we doing here, India?”
“We were having a good night.” Telling people could ruin everything.
“And snatching one night here or there so no one can find out isn’t enough for me. India, I told you that you could have all of me. I didn’t just say that because I want to sneak around with you. I said that because I want to spend my life with you.”
“Travis—”
“I’ve got closing arguments tomorrow in a murder trial and every day I’m in the courtroom I’m reminded tomorrow isn’t promised. I think about everyone wanting to pull me in a different direction. All of the various expectations for me to do what other people want. But the only thing that I want is to be with you. No secrets. No hiding. I want you to marry me.”
The word yes clawed at her heart and soul. She’d loved Travis for years. Had longed for him even when she’d left the States and toured. To be with him forever would be more than she’d ever asked for. She’d be happy. At what expense though?
Elaina would hate her. Byron’s campaign would suffer, and he’d hate her. She didn’t care what her dad thought, but she didn’t want to hurt her siblings. She wanted to enjoy the finite amount of time she had with Travis without facing the realities of what being with him really meant.
She pushed down the happiness and hope before it could spread and take over her rational mind. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
She jumped up from the chair. “You know why not.”
Travis got up and turned her to face him. “Your family will be fine. Life will go on.”
“Life may go on, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be the same,” she argued. “I won’t tear my family apart.”
“You said you didn’t want to live by your family’s rules anymore. That you didn’t want them to control you again, but you’re letting them do exactly that.”
“How? By not betraying my sister?”
“In case you didn’t know, you betrayed her the moment you slept with me.”
India pushed away from him. The truth of his words shined a light on something she didn’t want to face, that she’d already crossed a line she continued to say she didn’t want to cross. That she’d known what she was doing. Using the repercussions of Elaina finding out as an excuse to not move forward was just that. An excuse.
“She doesn’t know, which means there’s no chance what we’ve done will come back to bite us in the ass,” she argued. “I’ve done my part for Byron’s campaign. I’ve been invited to audition for the LA Philharmonic. I can go to California and start over. Let’s not ruin our time together fighting.”
“Ruin our time together?” he said incredulously. “India, for the first time I’m not worried about the next big step in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. California is your excuse to get away from the family instead of telling them what you really want. You’d rather run than face your family.”
“I’m not running. I’m trying to make things work out.”
“Is that why you left the country before?”
“I left because you married my sister!” Her mouth snapped closed.
The words stunned Travis to silence.
She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. “We both know that’s why I left, despite my dad sending the letter declining the offer. I put my hope in us once before and you chose Elaina. I understand your reasons now, but you didn’t tell me then. Knowing the truth now doesn’t take away the hurt from before.” How could she alter her family on just the hope that she and Travis could work out?
He rushed around the couch and took her hands in his. “This time is different. There’s no one who can keep us apart.”
She shook her head. “We don’t know that. What if my dad comes to you with another ultimatum? What if Elaina still cares?”
Travis closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, he spoke in an even voice. “Your dad can’t push me into anything. Elaina and I are through.”
“But has she accepted that?” She’d seen Elaina talking t
o him earlier that night. Elaina had left shortly after their brief conversation. Outwardly, she hadn’t appeared to be bothered by their talk, but India couldn’t help but remember their conversation in Byron’s office a few days before.
“India, don’t go creating problems that aren’t there. I’ll always care about your sister, but I don’t love her and I don’t want to be with her. I love you.” He spoke the last three words so simply and earnestly that her heart squeezed.
Any lingering doubt about Travis’s feelings flickered away. She saw his love for her in his face, heard it in his voice, felt it in his touch. But was love enough?
“This time is different because of the choices we both made then. Back then, it would have been a minor scandal. Rumors would have circulated, and Elaina would have been upset, but she would have eventually moved on and forgiven me. You would have been an ex-lover she didn’t care about. Now you’re her ex-husband. You were a power couple in the area for five years. You’re the best friend of a high-profile political candidate and one of the most popular defense attorneys in the region. The scandal would be huge, and the family would never forgive me.”
He shook his head as if he didn’t want to soak in the truth of her words. “We can get through this. India, I love you. Can you honestly stand here and tell me that you don’t feel the same?”
She couldn’t do that. She’d been away too long, and being back revealed how much she’d missed Elaina, Byron, Ashiya and her dad. Her chance at happiness would come at the expense of creating a distance no amount of time or travel would lessen.
She lowered her eyes and tried to pull away. “Loving you doesn’t change anything. Please, Travis, don’t make this harder than it has to be. Let’s not ruin lives over something that won’t last.”
His grip on her hands tightened. “India—”
She leaned up and kissed him quickly. “Shh. Please, let’s not do this tonight. Everything has been perfect.” She leaned forward to put her forehead on his chest, but he stepped back.
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