“Are you sure?” I asked.
“One hundred percent,” Dr. Suarez said. “Congratulations! Based on the blood work, we estimate you’re around six weeks along.”
“Six weeks? Again, and I don’t want to sound like I don’t trust your work or anything, but are you absolutely sure?”
If he was fazed by the question, he didn’t show it. “We can do an ultrasound to get a better estimate, but the blood work technique we use is generally very accurate. You’re right around the six-week mark, give or take a day or two.”
Six weeks. I cast my mind back to a week or so after the first time Lucas and I had sex.
“But, but… I had a period.”
The doctor nodded. “Likely implantation bleeding, and nothing to worry about. The two are often confused, especially in women who report light, irregular periods, as you do.”
He went on, but I could barely hear him as the realization struck me.
Lucas and I had conceived the first time we had sex, before he’d even offered up his proposition.
“That wasn’t the plan,” I murmured, realizing only after the fact that I’d spoken the words aloud.
The doctor chuckled. “Babies are notorious for ignoring even the best-laid plans,” he said warmly. “I’ll give you a few minutes to digest this information, and I’ll be here if you have any questions.”
I thanked Dr. Suarez for his time and requested a copy of the report that stated I was pregnant and how far along I was. I might need it later on when I asked myself if this was really happening.
My head felt as if it was spinning in twenty different directions as I walked out of the clinic and to my car. What did that mean for us that the baby was conceived before we’d made our deal?
I contemplated whether I should call Lucas now, sitting in the parking lot, or wait until I was back in the city at my apartment. I decided there was no time like the present, especially because I felt like I might explode if I didn’t tell someone soon. Since we were keeping things quiet, he was the only someone I could tell.
I glanced down at my stomach. There was a baby in there. A teeny, tiny baby, but a baby, nonetheless.
“Hello?” Lucas’s sweet voice echoed through the speakerphone in my car.
“Hey, it’s me,” I said, hoping he would know who “me” was.
“Zoe? How did everything go? Your appointment was only twenty minutes ago, right? Is everything all right?”
The concern in his voice melted my heart. I hoped he was going to have a similarly enthusiastic reaction to the news I was about to give him. Logic told me that, given the fact that he’d been the one to propose the baby in the first place, he’d be thrilled, but there was still a part of me that would be nervous until I heard him confirm his excitement. Then there was the issue of the timeline. Would it matter to him that I’d gotten pregnant that first night together? Or would he just be happy I was pregnant with his child?
“Actually, they couldn’t do the procedure,” I stated, keeping my voice even to build up to the big reveal.
“What? What happened? Is everything okay?”
Tears welled in my eyes. This was really happening. “They couldn’t perform the insemination because I’m already pregnant!”
“You’re pregnant?!” he exclaimed.
“I’m pregnant,” I said. “And it seems as though it’s actually a result of our first night together. You know, in Hawaii.”
The two-second pause between my revelation and his loud cheers felt like a lifetime. He didn’t so much as acknowledge the timeline before erupting into a chorus of “I can’t believe it!” and “We did it!”
As Lucas’s cheers echoed through the phone, I realized that—no matter how odd I felt knowing that our baby was conceived outside of our deal—this was truly the best reaction I could have hoped for. For a split second, I felt like Lucas’s romantic partner and not his future co-parent, or whatever we’d decided to call it. This felt like a sweet, genuine moment between partners, even though that wasn’t exactly the case.
“Zoe, this is incredible,” Lucas said, clearly trying to catch his breath. “I’ll fly you over here for the twelve-week scan when the time comes. I know some incredible doctors over here. How does that sound?”
Mumbles in the background kept me from answering. Lucas’s assistant spoke of some sort of work matter, taking his attention away from the phone call. I wanted to provide a response, but I could tell I was only getting half of his attention, if I was lucky. Lucas offered up some polite but impersonal acknowledgments as I said how I would be happy to come to Belgium and was excited to get to see him again and see where he was from.
“Look,” he started. “I’ve got to go. But thank you for the news! This is fantastic, Zoe, really. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
“Oh, I…uh… Okay. See you—”
The phone clicked off.
My enthusiasm had gone from about a ten to a two in the space of a minute. I was glad Lucas had had such a great reaction to the news, but I couldn’t ignore the end of the phone call. How were we going to raise a child this way? Was he going to simply have expensive au pairs take care of the child when he had them so he could continue working crazy hours?
We’d been on the phone for such a short amount of time, and he couldn’t even escape work for that quick phone call. It filled my head with all sorts of new doubts.
I knew the deal that we’d made, but it was no longer what I wanted. I put my hand on my stomach and let myself cry out the wide range of emotions I was feeling.
It wasn’t that I no longer wanted this baby, or this baby with Lucas. It was that I wanted it all with Lucas. I didn’t just want to see him for ultrasounds or doctor appointments. I cringed at the thought of only seeing him at handover times whenever it was time to switch off custody. I wanted him there from the birth until forever, not just with the child, but with me. I needed Lucas by my side.
As much as I’d been denying it, I knew the truth deep down: I’d completely fallen for Lucas.
This was more than just some schoolgirl crush on a handsome man with a charming accent. This was the desire to have everything with him—a life, a family, a relationship. This brought a whole new level of complicated to the equation, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Though it was unconventional at best, I was thrilled that I was going to be a mother. Even as I barely knew the first thing about what that would entail, fortunately I had a good eight more months to figure it out. I just had to also figure out what Lucas’s role was going to be—in the child’s life, and in mine.
Chapter 15
Zoe
Six Weeks Later
I’d traveled to Europe before, but this flight, without a doubt, felt a hundred times longer than any of the previous flights I’d taken. There were a lot of factors going into that rationale, and, luckily, I had hours to ponder them. For starters, I was pregnant. I woke up every day with my stomach growing a smidge bigger, but it still didn’t feel real. I wasn’t showing enough for any of my colleagues to notice anything, and I’d decided to wait to make sure everything went well with the twelve-week scan before telling my friends about the pregnancy.
Lucas had told me that this doctor was the best in the business, and I trusted him on that. He wanted the best for our baby, and if flying over the Atlantic just to get to that best doctor was what it took, I was all for it. Besides, I was always thrilled at the opportunity to explore new places, not that I’d have all that much time for sightseeing. Maybe I could convince Lucas to take me to the Palace of Coudenberg or the Royal Greenhouses.
It occurred to me then that I had no clue where in Brussels I was going. Did he live near all the places I wanted to see, or was he more of an isolated billionaire with a mansion in the mountains away from the city?
Either way, I was excited that I was about to spend the day with someone who knew about the baby, someone I could talk to without worrying about blurting anything out. But then there was t
he elephant in the room.
I was falling for Lucas. Or, rather, I’d fallen for him. I woke up thinking about him and went to sleep thinking about him. This trip was about more than just seeing our baby. It was about seeing if there could be an “us.” I couldn’t help but wonder if he saw me as anything other than a means to a baby. There were little moments that told me he might feel the same way, like our long phone conversations and his good-night texts that came to me every night around dinner time, due to the time difference.
But it was also possible I was misreading the whole situation. I hadn’t seen him in person in over two months. He hadn’t technically said anything to make me think he wanted to be more than just friends or co-parents, but that also wasn’t something most people would want to say over the phone. I hoped that, maybe, seeing our baby on the screen, witnessing that new reality that we were actually going to be parents, might open Lucas up to thinking differently. Maybe he would want us to try being a real couple.
I was convinced it could work. It would be difficult, but it was worth giving it a shot. I wanted our child to have the best, and maybe the best would be having both parents together, raising them together. I was getting ahead of myself, but sitting on a plane with a hundred strangers and no one to vent to had the tendency to cause overthinking.
I was surprised to learn that it was actually possible to get a decent night’s sleep on a red-eye flight when flying in first class. I had the space to sprawl out and sleep, and I was provided a snack or meal every two hours like clockwork. I walked off the plan feeling surprisingly okay, with no muscle aches or fatigue to speak of. I knew the time difference would catch up to me sooner or later, but I’d take it for now.
After going through customs, I joined the sea of tired travelers waiting in the baggage claim until my bright turquoise suitcase came into view.
Luggage in hand, the automatic doors were the only things standing between me and arrivals. I wasn’t sure whether Lucas was coming to pick me up, or if he’d sent a driver of some kind, but I could help but hope he would be there waiting for me. The more I thought about it, the more I decided that, if he cared, he’d be there to greet me after my long flight. After all, it’d be the first time he’d see me in person since finding out we were pregnant. If this was purely a business arrangement, however, it would make sense that he’d send a car to get me.
It was time to find out our fate.
The crowd of family and friends waiting to greet their world travelers was enormous. I’d usually breezed right by this section and taken a taxi to my condo, but this time I was actually looking for someone.
My heart nearly leaped out of my chest when I spotted Lucas standing back from the rest, one of the few greeters without a ridiculous sign or balloons in tow.
Out of pure instinct, I ran toward him and wrapped my arms around him. It took a solid five seconds before remembering myself and our situation, and I slowly pulled back. I couldn’t be sure, but it felt as though he let go a little after I did.
“How was your flight?” Lucas asked.
“Actually, not too bad,” I said. I still couldn’t believe we were face-to-face without a screen between us. “Thanks to my first-class seat. I was able to sleep. Thank you for organizing that.”
He smiled, showing off those perfect pearly whites.
“I’m glad.”
He took my suitcase from my hand and placed it in his. Our pinkies brushed ever so slightly, sending shivers up my arm. I felt like a lame teenager all over again.
“I’ve got this,” he said. “We should get going. The car’s waiting for us outside.”
Stilted conversation aside, I felt like this was a good sign, like Lucas had told the driver to stay in the car so he could be the one to come in to get me.
We exited the airport and I walked alongside him, trying not to stare—and apparently I wasn’t the only one. I caught him glancing at my stomach from time to time, as if trying to get a read on the baby.
“Here we are,” he said, stopping at a black luxury sedan.
The driver stepped out of the car, opening the door to the backseat for us to get in before putting my suitcase into the trunk. This was a far cry from my life as a pedestrian and taxi passenger.
Lucas scooted into the seat behind me, and I was all too aware of how close we were. Damn, I’d missed his presence.
“You look well,” Lucas said once the car was in motion. “You’ve been feeling okay?”
“For the most part,” I replied. “I’ve had the occasional bout of morning sickness, but that’s to be expected.”
“Hopefully that’ll pass soon. I read that it usually stops in the second trimester.”
I couldn’t help but gaze at him with admiration. On top of his incredibly busy schedule, he’d taken the time to do research on pregnancy and morning sickness? His concern, and the way in which he’d conveyed it, was incredibly endearing.
“So, what time is the appointment?” I asked.
“At two o’clock,” Lucas said. “So we have a few hours. I figured you might like to come back to my place and freshen up beforehand.”
“That sounds good.”
An unexpected and uncomfortable silence filled the car. I had no clue what to say next. I had no clue what to think of Lucas as: a friend, a lover, something in between, or nothing at all. He smiled when he spoke and seemed to make flirtatious eye contact with me, but I wasn’t sure what that meant.
I’d given so much thought to what I would say upon seeing him, but now, actually being here, it was as if I’d planned nothing at all. Every line I’d come up with or feeling I wanted to convey completely escaped me. I wasn’t sure if it was the nerves or the pure captivation I felt when I was around him.
We stuck to small talk as the driver accelerated down the freeway, Lucas rattling off some details about Brussels and the area. Apparently, the airport I’d flown into wasn’t actually in the city itself, but rather on the outskirts. Likewise, Lucas’s home was out of the city, and a good twenty minutes’ drive away. He pointed out some gorgeous churches as we drove by, but it all felt very forced.
The silence grew to deafening levels. I wondered if Lucas could sense what I was feeling. More than that, did he see this as an awkward silence, or did he feel as if we were comfortable enough with one another that we didn’t have to converse the entire time we were together?
I was tempted to ask him how he felt about me, about even the slightest possibility of us pursuing a relationship, but too much held me back. The logistics were the most obvious roadblock, given our different career trajectories and the distance between us. Then there was the issue of possible unreciprocated feelings. But, mostly, it was just because I couldn’t work up the nerve to say any of the dozens of things I thought I might say upon seeing him again.
Lucas, I think we make a really great team. Our sex was explosive and amazing, and I’d like to do it again.
Lucas, what do you think of us being more than just co-parents?
Lucas, what is it that you want to happen between us?
Lucas, I want to spend more time with you than just a few minutes at handovers.
Lucas, I’ve never met anyone as captivating as you.
Lucas, I have to be honest. I’ve completely fallen for you.
There were so many things I could have said. Instead of saying any of them, I sat there like a complete idiot and let the silence drag on.
I wished I knew what he was thinking. Had he stayed awake thinking about me like I’d thought about him? Had he re-read our text message conversations when he missed me? I was unsure of what to say in this moment that wouldn’t risk tainting the rest of my trip if things went south.
It was a relief when we at last arrived at his house. Finally, we had something neutral to talk about.
I gave the house a good look. House wasn’t even the right word to describe it. It was a mansion, maybe even a small castle.
It had wrought-iron gates that required an acc
ess code to pass through, and a perfectly manicured lawn with bright flowers and lively green landscaping everywhere you looked. The huge structure was made of stone and free-standing, a stark contrast from the streets full of attached homes we’d driven by along the way.
“Wow,” I whispered. “If the beauty of the outside is any indication of what the inside will look like, I think I’m going to like it here.”
Lucas laughed, and it seemed as if our deafening, awkward silence was over—at least for now.
The driver carried my suitcase inside as Lucas walked me up the steps. Though I was only three months along, he held my arm and helped me up the walkway like I was nine months pregnant and about to burst.
“You know I’m only twelve weeks pregnant, right?” I laughed. “I only have an extra three pounds on me to carry.”
“Three pounds?” Lucas echoed. “That’s right on target.”
There he went again with the research. It was sweet that he cared so much about the baby, and, by extension, me. No matter how uncertain things were between us, I had to admit that it felt good to have someone looking out for me.
Lucas led me into the grand foyer, which was made even more incredible by the enormous crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. He took me through each room of the main floor and told me a bit about each of them, not in a bragging way, but in a manner that seemed as though it was meant to make me feel more comfortable.
His study had to have had at least a thousand books. It was incredible, with one of those old-fashioned movable ladders to help reach the top shelves. His desk looked as though it belonged in a fancy government building somewhere.
I wasn’t sure why I was so surprised to learn that Lucas had a housekeeper and chef on call. Maybe it was because, despite his obvious wealth, he never spoke as if he was a billionaire. In fact, he didn’t often talk about material things at all. He struck me as the kind of person who definitely used the financial resources available to him but didn’t see money as the be-all and end-all in life.
The Deal With Triplets Page 11
