Without giving him time to respond, Amanda grabbed her bag and left the room. As the door closed behind her, she sighed. Dating was much harder than Amanda had expected. Her mother’s admonishment to wait suddenly made sense.
Her mind knew saying no had been the right thing, but her body sure didn’t understand, and it was becoming increasingly harder to say no. Should she break things off with Caleb? Though he had always stopped when she asked him, he never seemed pleased at the prospect. What if one day he didn’t stop? Would she be okay with that? The thoughts circled in her head as she returned to the dorm. Surely, she could resist. She’d done it for years, and she did care about Caleb.
Jade looked up as Amanda entered the room. “You make that phone call yet?”
Annoyance flickered in Amanda briefly at Jade’s persistence and insinuation, but she pushed it away. Jade’s advice was needed. “No, I just left Caleb’s. It got a little heated, and I’m having a hard time staying strong when I’m with him. I’m wondering if I should break it off.”
Jade smiled, “Men are physical creatures. Once you let them down a path, it’s hard to get them to stop.”
“No kidding,” Amanda returned. “All we’ve done is kiss, but I can tell he wants more.”
“What would you say to a girl in your position?” Jade asked.
“What do you mean?” Amanda sat on her bed, curling her legs beneath her.
“I mean, what if Sandra asked you for advice?”
Amanda couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her lips. “Sandra is a sixty something year old widow; I doubt seriously she would be asking me for dating advice.”
Jade rolled her eyes. “Fine, think of someone younger. Who’s someone younger you might talk to?”
Well, there was Kate, but Kate was her best friend. They shared so much, it was hard to think about her representing someone she didn’t know as well. Then Callie’s face popped into Amanda’s head. Callie had spoken at their high school last year. “There is this woman named Callie,” Amanda began slowly.
“Okay Callie. What would she have told you?”
As the image of Callie solidified in her mind, Amanda could almost hear Callie’s voice in her head. Amanda sighed. “She would say that if Caleb were pushing me to have sex, then he wasn’t a good influence, and that as a Christian he should want me not to sin.”
A stray thread in her comforter caught her attention as the guilt set in once again. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Callie; it just was so much harder when it was happening.
Jade shrugged. “I’m no expert in Christian matters as you know, but that seems pretty reasonable.
Confusion tumbled around in Amanda’s head. Somewhere deep inside, she knew Caleb was giving off signs that he wasn’t good for her, but he was so handsome and he liked her. Nobody had liked Amanda in that way in a long time, maybe ever, and she didn’t want to lose the feeling. And he had always stopped when she said no, so maybe he was just fighting his desire like she was.
“What’s wrong?” Jade asked.
The thread garnered Amanda’s attention again as she avoided Jade’s eyes. “Um, he invited me to a frat party on Halloween, but I’m not sure I should go.”
Jade cocked her head, and her right eyebrow shot up. “A frat party? I don’t think that’s a good idea. You do know what usually goes on at frat parties right?”
Amanda pulled harder at the thread, determined not to look up. “Yes, but I already said I’d go.” Amanda glanced up from lowered lids. There was a little part of Amanda that was curious as to what actually went on in a frat party.
“I think you’re playing with fire,” Jade shook her head, “but it’s up to you.”
As Amanda turned out the light that night before bed, she realized she still hadn’t called Sandra, and she hadn’t read her devotional for the day. I’ll do it tomorrow, she thought before falling asleep.
“Do you know anyone in Beta Zeta Psi?” Jared asked Emily at their weekly Bible study. They were generally the first to arrive and Jared decided to use the time tonight to pick Emily’s brain. He had heard some troubling information today.
“I don’t know,” she said with a shake of her head. Her forehead furrowed in confusion. “Why do you ask?”
Jared sighed. “I heard through the grapevine that they have a Halloween party planned. If I can’t keep Amanda from Caleb, I want to at least be there to keep an eye on her. I know we don’t know exactly what happened to Nikki, but we do know she left right after one of these parties.”
“Amanda never asked for your side of the story?” Emily asked. Jared had filled her in on the encounter after his conversation with Sarah.
“No, and I really thought she would, but it’s like he puts them under some kind of spell,” Jared said. “I just need a way in, and then I can at least watch out for her.”
“Okay, I’ll ask my other guy friends,” Emily said with a nod. “One of them must know someone, and I agree that Amanda shouldn’t go in there alone. I only saw Caleb that once, but something about him just rubbed me the wrong way.”
“Thank you,” Jared said, as the rest of the group filed in.
Chapter 12
“I’m going on the record that I still think this is a bad idea.” Jade said, flashing Amanda a reproachful look.
“Duly noted,” Amanda said, checking her reflection in the mirror again. The last few days had been a litany of Jade telling her horror stories about fraternity parties. Then Kate had joined in when Amanda had finally remembered to call her and fill her in, but neither Kate nor Jade had spent time with Caleb. Once they did, Amanda was sure their concerns would fade away just as she was sure that nothing would happen tonight.
Caleb was waiting in the dorm lobby when Amanda arrived there. He stood and smiled at her. “You look great. Are you ready?”
“Absolutely,” Amanda said with a smile and took his hand. Her smile faltered when they stepped outside the warm, lighted building though. An uncharacteristic fog had settled on the grounds and combined with the dusk and full moon, it created an eerie setting.
Caleb led the way off campus, stating the meeting house was just across University. As they walked the few short blocks to the house, Amanda found herself jumping at shadows and battling a foreboding feeling. What if Jade had been right? What if someone spiked her drink? That happened occasionally, right?
She wished she had thought to bring her own water bottle. No, that was silly. Why would anyone want to spike her drink? She was just being paranoid. A tiny voice insisted it wasn’t too late to turn back, but Amanda tightened her grip on Caleb’s hand and ignored it.
The meeting house was a single-story brick house with the Beta Zeta Psi banner across the front. Other than the banner and the music pouring out of it, it didn’t look much different from the surrounding houses. As the door opened though, Amanda was surprised by how much room there was.
“We had it remodeled, so we’d have a bigger dance floor,” Caleb said, answering her unasked question. “So now there’s just a small kitchen and the open space here, and then the bedrooms and the bathroom are back that way.”
The room already pulsed with people and the music was even louder inside. Flinching, Amanda resisted the urge to cover her ears. The electronic beat seemed to reverberate down her spine, causing her teeth to throb in their sockets.
Caleb pulled Amanda to the middle of the floor, and they joined in the dancing or tried to anyway. There were so many bodies that they were basically just jostled from one squished position to another on the laminate wood floor. Sweat poured down Amanda’s neck and spine, and she glanced around for a way to cool off as she wiped a bead cascading down her forehead.
The front door seemed an ocean away, and they weren’t near any windows, but the refreshment table stood out like an oasis just a few feet away. Surely a drink could wet her parched throat and then maybe she could convince Caleb to leave. While it had been fun seeing what a frat party was like, Amanda wasn’t enjoying
herself nearly as much as she had thought she would.
Amanda tugged on Caleb’s arm and pointed at the table, motioning that she’d like a drink. Smiling, he pulled her close and pushed through the crowd.
“Sorry we don’t have water, but would you like some punch?” he asked when they reached the table. Amanda nodded, assuming beer - which she wasn’t drinking - was the only other choice. As Caleb picked up a paper cup and filled it with red liquid from the smaller keg, Amanda turned to scan the crowd. She blinked as she caught sight of a familiar face or at least she thought it was a familiar face. What would Jared be doing here? She was about to move that direction when Caleb tapped her arm and handed over the cup.
Amanda took the cup before turning her attention back to the crowd, but the familiar face was gone. With a sigh, she returned her attention to Caleb who held a bottle of beer in his hand.
“Aren’t you going to have the punch?” Amanda asked.
He shook his head, “No, the sugar always gets me. Don’t worry, I’ll just have one.” Caleb knew Amanda was not a fan of drinking.
Nodding, she took a large sip of the red liquid and nearly coughed it back up. There was indeed a lot of sugar in the punch. “Wow, you weren’t kidding.” Caleb smiled and nodded. Another small sip made the drink bearable, and she finished most of it that way.
“Let’s go back there where we can talk a little easier,” Caleb shouted, pointing toward the back. The foreboding feeling triggered again in her mind, but Amanda rationalized it away once more. Surely, they could go talk for a minute and be fine. There were too many people for him to try anything here. Nodding, she followed Caleb toward the back. Away from the music, it did get a little quieter. The pounding in her ears lessened to a dull ache.
“Whew, is the music always so loud?” she asked. As the words left her mouth, the room began tilting and going fuzzy around the edges. Swaying, she reached for the wall to steady her feet.
“Are you okay?” Caleb asked, holding out a hand.
“I don’t know. I feel kind of weird.” The room lurched again, and she fell forward into Caleb.
“Here, let’s find a room and we’ll lay you down for a bit.” Caleb pulled her close to his chest. Alarm bells clanged like a five-alarm fire in Amanda’s head and she tried to protest, but her mouth felt dry and heavy. She could only weakly shake her head back and forth. He wrapped an arm around her and began walking toward one of the rooms.
Amanda’s feet refused to move, feeling like they were encased in cement. What was wrong with her? Her arms too hung limply at her side. Hoisting her a little higher on his hip, Caleb drug her the rest of the way to a room. He opened the door, pulled her inside, and closed the door. Amanda’s mind tried to grapple with what was happening. The lock of the door clicked, and fear flashed through her.
Picking her up, Caleb carried Amanda to the king bed covered in a blue bedspread and hoisted her on it. He adjusted the pillow beneath her head and then sprawled beside her.
“There, that’s better, right?” he said and caressed her hair, but his voice was off. It was cold, soulless. Amanda’s eyes—the only body part still working—flicked to his. Nothing else was responding to her commands, though her brain seemed to be working perfectly, and she could feel the touch of his hand and the cotton beneath her. She should have listened to Jade. She should have listened to her gut. Fear crawled in as the realization sank in that she couldn’t escape.
Caleb’s hand trailed down the side of Amanda’s face and he leaned in. His blue eyes were ice, chilling her to the core. His mouth touched her ear and his words stopped her heart. “Don’t worry, you won’t remember this tomorrow, and what you do remember, you’ll think was a hallucination. You know you want this; I just gave you a little something to help you relax.”
His lips then moved from her ear to her mouth as if this were a normal make out session. The urge to bite his lip and knee him in the groin flared inside Amanda, but no matter how hard she tried, nothing moved.
She flicked her eyes back and forth, trying to convey that this was not okay; this was not what she wanted, but his lips just curled in a sinister smile. Lowering his face again, his lips meandered down her neck. The word no flashed in her head, but it didn’t escape her lips. Her finger twitched as she tried to push him away, but a twitch was all Amanda could manage.
“Let’s see what you’ve been keeping from me, shall we?” He took one side of her shirt in his mouth and deftly flicked the button open with his tongue. “Nope, I need a little more.” Another button opened and a chill hit Amanda’s chest. “That’s more like it,” he said tracing the white lace of her bra. He finished separating the buttons and flung her shirt open. A solitary tear escaped her eyes. His hands roamed her chest, followed quickly by his mouth first on one side and then the other. Then his tongue traced a pattern down the middle of her stomach. “Now, isn’t this more fun?”
He looked up at Amanda with those ice blue eyes and smiled before undoing the button on her jeans. Smiled! As if this was a game to him that she had agreed to play. He pulled the zipper down and she squeezed her eyes shut against the attack that was about to happen. Then the glorious pounding started.
“Amanda? Are you in there?” Jared’s voice ignited a small kernel of hope inside Amanda, and her eyes popped open.
Caleb glanced at the door and cursed, but continued his crusade. Perhaps he believed the door would hold even against Jared’s pounding. A large boom shook the door, but it held firm. Then another smaller series of poundings. The noise hit a nerve in Caleb. “I knew I should have had your friend taken care of.”
Cursing again, he pushed off Amanda and began tearing around the room. Was he looking for something? The door rattled again. He ran his hands through his blond hair, uttered a final string of curse words, and opened the window. A glorious thud let her know he had landed on the ground.
Fear and joy intermingled in her brain, and another tear worked its way down her cheek. The door splintered open and Jared rushed in. Emily was close behind him. What were they doing here? Emily covered Amanda with the comforter, and gratitude flowed through her body. Then Jared picked her up, and Amanda let the encroaching darkness take over.
Amanda opened her eyes and looked around the hospital room. For just a second, she didn’t remember why she was there, and then the memories came flooding back. Her fingers gripped the white sheet as the images overwhelmed her, pressing down like a ten-pound brick. The unusual taste of the drink and the dizziness that had come soon after. Leaning on Caleb for support as he took her into a room. The door opening and the large bed filling her vision.
Amanda shut her eyes against the invading memory, willing it to disappear, but it did no good. The image lit up, a movie screen in her mind. Caleb laying her down on the bed. His lips on her chest, where no man’s lips had been before, the feelings of fear and despair as she realized what he was doing.
A sob escaped Amanda’s lips and she curled into a ball. How could she have been so dumb? How had she let her guard down so much? She felt dirty and violated, and she wondered if she’d ever be okay again.
Chapter 13
Dr. Patrick entered the waiting area and Jared shot out of his seat like a rocket to accost him. “Is she okay? Tell me she’s going to be okay.”
The doctor held up his hands. “Physically, she’s okay. She had some Ketamine in her blood, but it’s working its way out. Thankfully, it looks like her dose was low, as she seems to remember the incident. We think you got there in time to save her from any intimate attack, but emotionally and mentally she is scarred. She can speak now, but she may not want to. You’re going to have to give her time.”
Jared’s jaw tensed and his hands balled into fists. “Can we see her?” he asked.
The doctor nodded, and Jared and Emily followed the man down the hall to Amanda’s room. She looked so fragile and pale in the white bed.
“How are you?” Jared asked as he reached the side of her bed. Amanda was listle
ss and there was a distance in her eyes
“I’m okay, I guess, thanks to you guys.” Though a half smile played on her lips, it did not reach her eyes, and the sparkle was gone.
“The police are going to be looking for Caleb,” Jared said, “but they’re probably going to want a statement from you.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I figured.”
Jared’s heart went out to her. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but he knew it wasn’t. He had spoken with enough victims to know she had a long path to recovery in front of her.
“Okay, Amanda needs her rest,” a short, stocky nurse said as she entered the room. “You can come back again tomorrow.”
Jared nodded, though he did not want to leave.
“I wish I knew what else to do for her,” he sighed as he sank into a chair in the waiting room.
“You be her friend, and you pray for her.” Emily sat beside him and placed a hand on his arm.
“I know; it’s just that it doesn’t feel like enough, you know? I know God is so much bigger than you or I, but...” his voice trailed off.
“Sometimes, it’s not about being perfect and having the right words,” Emily said softly. “It’s about being human and having empathy.”
“Yeah, I just feel helpless. I feel like I should have done more to dissuade her from dating Caleb.”
“You really care for her, don’t you?” Emily asked.
Jared’s lip curled in a half smile. “I have since the moment I met her. Is that terrible?”
“No, I think it’s sweet, and I think you’d make a great couple, but I’m afraid it may be a while before she dates again.”
“Excuse me, sir.” Two cops stood before them. “Are you Jared Masterson?” Jared nodded. “We have a few questions for you if you don’t mind.”
Jared stood, following the officers to a small office. The room was barely more than a closet, and while he had nothing to hide and wasn’t generally claustrophobic, the tight space sped up Jared’s heart rate.
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