As she sits beside me, I say sadly, “At what point in a man’s life does he lose this pure innocence and become an…”
“Asshole?”
Ashton laughs and gazes fondly at her son. “I’m guessing they follow by example and honey, living here is a breeding ground for them.”
I stare at her in surprise and she laughs. “These guys are a lot to deal with. They say and do things that no woman should hear because they forget there are boundaries. You know, when I first came here, I was scared out of my mind. Ryder took one look at me and made me marry him the same day. I didn’t have a choice.”
I stare at her in complete shock and she grins. “As it turns out, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It took me a while to get accustomed to their ways and we had lots of disagreements along the way. But we got there and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. You see, these men are hard, crude and rough but have all the ingredients to make a woman loyal, strong and happy. I’m guessing you’ve come across one of them yourself which is why you’re struggling with your feelings.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Honey, we’ve all been where you are now. So, tell me, anyone I know?”
“Maverick.”
Ashton looks interested and a slight smile ghosts her face before she nods. “I see your problem.”
“He’s like you said, an asshole.”
“A hot asshole, mind.”
Ashton grins and I can’t help but laugh.
She strokes Caspian’s gorgeous dark curls and says softly, “Maverick is, as his name suggests, a bit of a loner and a man who doesn’t like to conform. He does what he wants, when he wants and I’m guessing if he has feelings for you, he is unaccustomed to them. Like most of the guys here, he’s a rough diamond, breath-taking in its beauty and solid throughout but catch a sharp edge and you know about it. They lack the polish of most fine jewels but are more valuable in their rough glory. Maybe you should give each other time because if I know Maverick, he doesn’t give much away and just the fact he’s letting you in a little, tells me everything I want to know.”
She reaches for her baby and as I watch him settle in her arms, I wonder how she got so wise. She’s right of course, its early days for us and we have a lot to learn about each other. From the sounds of it, we’re alike in many ways because like Maverick, I hold myself apart and let no one in.
Ashton brings me back to the conversation and says sweetly, “Why don’t you come with me later to meet the rest of them?”
“The bar?”
I look at her in horror and she laughs. “It’s not that bad, honey. A little daunting at first, but I’ll be right beside you. Come and meet the other girls and they will tell you everything you want to know. Don’t be put off by what you see because those girls are living the dream. When I first came here, the word ‘whore’ left a bad taste in my mouth. I felt it was so degrading and couldn’t imagine why any girl would call herself one with the obvious pride these girls do. But you should know the guys are the biggest whores in this place because they need those women more than the girls need them. When they catch feelings, they stay true and loyal and that is the greatest prize there is.”
I think about what she says and then remember Millie and ask Ashton about her. “One of the girls, Millie, told me she thinks Maverick is hiding something. It made me think and I asked him about it. He totally overreacted and we argued. He was so dismissive of her, but she was only being kind. I suppose it got my back up and made me wonder if he would be as dismissive of me in company.”
Ashton looks concerned and sighs heavily. “Millie does have feelings for Maverick but they have never been reciprocated. I feel for her but it’s her problem to deal with, not yours, or his. He has never given her the impression they could be anything more than the usual relationship they all share. She’s a sweet girl, like you said, and will find her way. I’m guessing that Maverick isn’t ready to talk about his past because I expect only Ryder and Snake possibly know what that is. I’m sure you understand that, honey, after all, you’re hiding a few secrets of your own, aren’t you?”
I look at her sharply and she smiles reassuringly. “It’s fine, I don’t mean you should tell anyone what they are until you’re good and ready, but secrets have a habit of coming out when you least expect it. Maybe if you open up to Maverick, he will do the same. Who knows, it may bring you closer together?”
“Maybe, then again, I’m still angry with him. I don’t think I’m ready for a heart to heart with him anytime soon.”
“Then come with me tonight, show him you are a strong lady and don’t need a man to hold your hand.”
Against my better judgment, I nod slowly, “Ok, what time and where?”
“Come and call for me at 8. The kids will be in bed and Lou will watch them if I ask.”
“Won’t Ryder mind?”
I feel anxious because I’m guessing they like to spend their evenings together and Ashton smiles. “Oh, he’ll be there, honey, he always is. He just doesn’t have to be there with me. A little independence keeps these men on their toes and it will do him good to entertain himself for a while.”
She winks and she rockets up in my estimation of her. Yes, Ryder King may be the hardest bastard that ever lived, but this woman has the measure of him. I’m guessing he would do anything she asks, which shows me where the real power lies in this place. Yes, the women rule this particular roost and that settles my mind. It’s the opposite to where I come from, where the women do exactly what they’re told at all times. This is so refreshing and gives me hope for a future I never thought was mine to enjoy.
16
Maverick
My day goes from bad to worse because Ryder calls me in and sends me out with a few of the others to deal with another low life that’s overstepped the mark. He was head of a trafficking ring that traded women for dollars. He got greedy though and was blackmailing some powerful suits who bought them, threatening to leak their involvement unless they paid him big time. The cops arrested him but he got off on a technicality and was just about to blow the cover of too many people in high office. We stormed his warehouse and destroyed all the evidence, finding underage girls locked like dogs in cages, drugged up to their eyeballs. Let’s just say he suffered an unfortunate accident and by the time the authorities arrived, they found him hanging by his sorry neck in an apparent suicide. The sight of those women scared shitless caused the beast in me to roar and it doesn’t get any better when I return to see Sophia dressed in a figure-hugging black dress, heading into the bar with Ashton.
Before I can even change, we need to debrief with Ryder and Snake and it’s hard to keep my head in business picturing Sophia loose in that fuckbarn.
“Good job men, I’ve tied up the red tape and the file is closed. Head off and grab a shower and a cool beer.”
Snake jumps up quicker than most and Ryder rolls his eyes. “I’m guessing Bonnie’s back.”
“She sure is and she better be ready and waiting for me because you won’t be seeing me for the next two days.”
“More like two minutes.” Brewer laughs causing the rest of us to jeer but Snake just winks. “Keep telling yourself that Brewer because it’s what he tells his old lady on a daily basis. Two minutes my ass, you’re a lightweight.”
Brewer hold his hands up. “Do you honestly think my old lady would still be with me if it took two minutes? Watch and learn kids because there’s a reason that woman puts up with me.”
“I ain’t watching shit, couldn’t think of anything worse than watching you with your old lady. I need a willing professional, or two.” Rebel winks and I roll my eyes as he says, “Coming, Mav, you’ve been avoiding that clubhouse since you got back and the girls are mighty pissed. Fancy joining me in a spot of…”
“Get the fuck out of here, the lot of you. and keep your depraved habits for the bedroom, I don’t wanna hear it.”
Ryder shakes his head as we head out and Rebel is right
about one thing, I am going to the bar tonight but it’s with only one woman in my sight and she had better not be in the same pissy mood she was in earlier because I have plans for the two of us that nobody else needs to know the details of.
I think I break all records for showering and washing the blood from my hands. As soon as I head inside the door, I look for her and it takes me a while before I see her backed in a corner looking scared shitless. Ashton is beside her and two of the whores, Lauren and Josephine. Nice enough girls who couldn’t scare a bug from their shoe, which makes me wonder why she’s so afraid.
Our eyes connect across the space and even from here, I see the relief enter hers. She looks down and a flush creeps across her face which makes me start walking. I don’t get far before Amy, one of the whores grabs a hold and purrs, “Maverick, honey, I heard you were back, fancy hooking up with me tonight?”
“Not tonight, darlin’.”
She shrugs and then turns her attention to another guy like an off/on switch and I carry on walking. I see Millie looking miserable behind the bar and feel a little bad for her. It’s obvious she’s upset, but if I go there, it’s admitting I’ve done something wrong and I haven’t. I’ve fucked Millie just as many times as any other girl here. There was no understanding between us and if she thought otherwise, it’s in her head.
Ashton looks up and smiles when we approach and says in her soft, sweet voice, “Maverick, you’re back. Did it go well?”
I nod respectfully. “Yes, Ryder’s on his way, just finishing up.”
She smiles and as her eyes move past me, I watch in awe as her pretty face softens and her expression changes to one of total devotion. We all know that look and crave it more than the air we breathe to see such a look directed at us. Ryder and Ashton have a love that is so pure it gives hope to the rest of us. If I was hoping for that same look from Sophia, I am mightily disappointed because as I look, her eyes narrow and she turns away, staring at her drink as if she can’t stand the sight of me.
Lauren and Josephine watch with interest and one look from me has them scooting back down the bar. Ashton stands and says pleasantly, “Sorry guys, I’ll just grab a minute with Ryder, will you be ok, Sophia?”
“I’ll be fine, thanks, Ashton.”
Her voice is soft with a hint of steel lacing it and Ashton catches my eye and looks almost apologetic. “Keep my seat warm, Maverick, I won’t be long.”
As she heads off, I take her seat and feel like a high school kid asking a girl to prom. It feels awkward as fuck and I’m in unknown territory. I’m not sure how to play this, so just say softly, “We need to talk.”
She looks up and the sight of the pain in her eyes makes me want to smash something. Did I put that pain there, I sure as hell hope not?
She nods and then she looks around nervously and I see the sweat building on her upper lip as she appears to be having a panic attack before my eyes. Looking around, I finally understand.
This place is heaving and a lot to process when you see it for the first time. The guys are loud and fill the space with a dominant edge. The girls are at their worst when they are in this mood and openly make out on couches and against the walls. It’s noisy, rough and the loud rock music does little to help the situation. There is cheering, jeering and loud laughter. Groaning, moaning and the sound of breaking glass. Some of the guys are openly staring at Sophia because she is fresh meat they are hungry for and instinctively I shield her a little from their view and throw a warning look to anyone who dares look in her direction.
Taking her hand, I’m happy to see she grips it hard and I feel her shake a little, so I lean in and whisper, “We should leave.”
She just nods and so I pull her after me and head for the door, stopping only to tell Ashton of our plans. She is standing beside Ryder who has his arm curled protectively around her waist, looking like the cat who got the cream and Ashton looks concerned as she sees the state Sophia is in. “Are you ok, honey, do you want me to come with you?”
“It’s fine, thank you, Ashton, I’m just, well…”
She looks around briefly and then fixes her eyes to the floor and Ashton looks at me with a nod of understanding. “Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow, honey.”
Sophia nods and smiles briefly before I almost carry her out of the room. As the door slams behind us she says in a small voice, “I’m so sorry, it’s fine, you can go back, I’ll just head back to my room.”
“Like hell you will.”
With a grim determination, I drag her behind me to my room. Seeing Sophia scared of just about everything is sending me insane and I can’t turn a blind eye to it any more. This girl needs to tell me everything tonight because until she does, we don’t stand a chance of setting her back on the right track.
17
Sophia
That place scared the hell out of me. When Ashton met me, I thought I’d be fine. I even dressed for the occasion and fixed my hair and make-up as if I was going on a night out. The minute I stepped through those doors, I knew I’d made a huge mistake. It was like walking into Satan’s lair. The noise alone hurt my ears and the men—well, they overpowered me. They were intense in not only their numbers but the sheer look of them. The women were no different. They were awesome and I couldn’t stop staring. It was like a scene from a movie playing out right before my eyes. It was hot, sexy and a lot to deal with.
I tried to avoid the eyes of the men, but it was impossible to do. I felt a hunger directed at me that stole the breath from my body. It was as if I was for sale and they were deciding whether to buy or not. I’m not used to it. Men look away, or to the ground when I walk into a room. They avoid me like the plague because of who I am. These men don’t care.
The women were scary in their own way because I couldn’t even begin to compete with their beauty. Self-assured and confident, not afraid of anything and quick with the smart remarks. I felt so out of my depth; I was drowning.
Ashton took me to a corner away from the pack and I breathed a little easier. She ordered me a drink to settle my nerves and introduced me to two really friendly women who were good fun and interesting to listen to. Millie was serving the drinks and smiled at me sweetly, but I felt so bad for her and guilty that I had taken something she wanted.
I couldn’t relax and when I saw Maverick, I just wanted to run to him but I was conflicted. He is one of them. He is part of this world and he plays as hard as the rest of them. It showed me a side to him I didn’t want to see and I suppose I retreated into the hard shell I built around me to protect my heart from being trampled on. I couldn’t look at him because I was full of disgust—for myself.
But when his hand closed around mine, it was a lifeline. I can’t deny the feelings I have for him and so, here I am running after him, back to his room and by the look in his eyes, he wants answers and fast.
That alone is causing me to panic because the demons I live with will destroy me in a heartbeat if I let them out into the open. He will not be able to save me, no matter how much he wants to. He doesn’t do mafia, he said, well; I am mafia and have to suffer everything that goes with the territory.
Almost as soon as we’re inside his room, he points to the couch and says firmly, “Sit, I’ll fetch you something for the shock.”
On autopilot, I do as he says, trying hard to gather my shutters, ready to pull them down. I take a deep breath and count to ten because he cannot make me unlock that box I hide inside.
“Here, whiskey, it will give you courage to tell me everything I need to know.”
“You think this is all it will take?”
I lift the glass to my lips and feel the liquid burn as he nods and sits beside me. “Yes.”
“So, you want me to tell you something I can’t even deal with myself when you won’t let anyone in on your own secrets. As I said before—hypocrite.”
To my surprise, he laughs softly. “Never pretended otherwise. But in your case, I’ll make an exception.”
“You w
ill?” I say it in surprise and he nods, looking at me with a look that could melt an ice palace.
“Sophia, I don’t want to fight with you. I want to know you. I want to understand what’s hurting you so bad and I want to take that problem and make it mine. I’m stronger than you and can deal with it—for you. Let me help and then maybe you will understand and accept what I tell you about my own past.”
“Why do I have to go first?”
“Because I have dealt with my demons and they are controlled. Yours are not and so you need to be in the right place before I unburden myself to you.”
Once again, I raise the glass to my lips and take a deep gulp of the fiery liquid and feel the burn, then set it down and say with a determination I don’t feel inside, “Ok, Maverick, you’ve got your wish but you should know there are consequences of opening Pandora’s box.”
“I can deal with that.”
“Can you though? I’m not so sure, but well, here goes nothing.”
18
Maverick
At last, we’re getting somewhere. Sophia is finally about to tell me what’s scaring her so much and I’m eager to hear it.
I watch in fascination as she leans back and her expression changes before my eyes. She turns back to that mafia princess she wears so well. Her expression is blank and her eyes are dead. There is no feeling in them, just loneliness and resignation of a life that takes no prisoners.
“I told you what happened when I last saw Carlos Toledo. Well, he escaped and despite my brother’s best efforts remained free. Then my brother heard he was in Chicago and headed straight there. It turned out it was an inside job and somebody that worked for us fed Tobias false information. I got the call to tell me to take Anastasia and he would send a car for us. To trust no one and keep his wife safe. The trouble is, the car that was waiting for us contained the very man himself and as soon as the door opened, I was pulled inside.”
Broken Beauty Page 7
