by Parker, Ali
There was a brief moment where I thought I might have really fucked up. The tears in her eyes—they didn’t look fake. They looked real. The hurt I saw reflecting in her eyes was also very real. There was a chance I was wrong. It was a slim chance, but it was there. I let myself think about it for a second. What if she was telling the truth? What if what she said had been true and she did care about me? The thought of actually hurting her hurt me. It was an unfamiliar feeling.
Suddenly, I felt sick and it had nothing to do with the alcohol I had consumed. I had been a jerk. Even if she had attempted to screw me over, I had acted like a complete pig by saying those things to her. That didn’t sit right with me.
Chapter 31
Hannah
I am not going to let him ruin another day of my life.
Yesterday had been a complete disaster. After running into him on Friday night, I spent most of yesterday a complete wreck. I was not the type to let a man get to me, but he did. I would always regret signing the contract. It had been stupid. It was pure greed that led me to it. I was greedy with my company. I wanted it all. I had screwed up by not raising the prices and being proactive, and I had driven it right into a financial black hole. That was on me.
The CEO position wasn’t mine to hold. I sold my company to keep it alive and should have been gracious enough to take a step down. Hindsight was definitely twenty-twenty, but unfortunately, it was always a little too late. I had been a fool to jump at the opportunity he presented. I wasn’t prone to such foolishness.
“It’s over,” I mumbled, sipping my coffee in the kitchen.
It was over. I had no idea what came next. I was expecting some kind of separation notice or a meeting to work out the details of my departure, but there had been zero contact from him or anyone at the company. I had been completely ghosted. There were things I needed to tell the next CEO. I needed to clean out my desk and say goodbye to everyone. Maybe that would help give me the closure I was looking for and I could move on with my life—personally and professionally.
I needed to stay busy, give myself something to focus on that had nothing to do with the company or Grayson. I looked around my apartment, deciding I needed a hobby. I was going to lose my mind if I stayed inside staring at the four walls. An idea occurred to me. I was going to go for a nice easy run. It’d been a while since I had actually been able to go jogging in Central Park. With the idea in my head, I poured out the rest of my coffee and headed for my room to put on my workout clothes. As I tied my shoes, I thought about making it a priority to run every day. I could put my time and energy into that.
I laughed as I strapped my phone holder to my arm. “Sure, Hannah, you’re going to run every day.”
I knew I had said the exact same thing a hundred times before. It had yet to happen. It was one of those ideas that sounded great in theory, but when it actually came time to doing it, it never happened. I walked out, heading for the fresh air and nature, hoping to clear my mind and get Grayson and his horrible, nasty behavior out of it.
The moment my feet started to hit the hard surface of the trail in a slow rhythm, I could practically feel the fog in my brain clearing. Every step took me a little closer to clarity. I felt a little better about my life. I had been company-less before. Granted, it had been a while, but I had managed to survive without the daily demands of running my own company.
I thought about my future. What did I want?
“My own business,” I whispered as I ran past a couple of other joggers on the trail.
They probably thought I was crazy as I talked and ran. I didn’t care. There was a kernel of an idea forming and I needed to say it aloud and give air and light to let it grow. I had done it before, I could do it again. Now, I had the benefit of experience on my side. I knew how to talk with manufacturers and distributors. I would think long and hard before I invited anyone to invest in my company. I had a healthy nest egg and with the buyout of my company, I had the seed money to start over. There were so many things I would do differently.
I found myself running faster as my brain raced with the possibility of starting fresh. It was exciting and invigorating to think about a new company with a new outlook. I would probably have a similar mission statement, simply because it said so much about who I was as a person. What good was a company if the person who started it wasn’t passionate about what they were selling?
I circled around the path, a huge smile on my face as I started to make my way back. The tingling in my legs felt good as I continued to pound the pavement, every jarring step giving me an infusion of fresh new hope and ideas. I finished my run, did a few cooldown stretches and headed home to shower. I wondered if Amber wanted to join me on yet another adventure. She had been with me at the start of my first company, maybe she’d come along with me for a new ride. I needed her. She had always been the voice of reason when my overactive imagination tended to run wild. She reined me in and helped me see reason as well as helped me in so many ways. I was definitely going to float the idea by her.
I didn’t feel the least bit guilty about poaching her from Grayson. Screw Grayson and his asshole attitude. He could do as he wanted with the company he snatched up from me. Whatever made him happy. He could hire a new CEO and marry her. Let some other woman deal with the chip the size of the Titanic that was sitting on his shoulder. I was going to wash my hands of the man.
I stripped off my workout gear and stepped into the shower, pushing out hot water from several sides. The stream soothed the muscles I had just worked out. I ran my hands over my face and let the water wash over me. I wished like hell it could wash Grayson from my life. He had managed to find a place in my heart and was giving me serious grief. I wanted him out—gone for good.
“You fell for him.” I moaned as I admitted the real problem.
I had fallen for him and he dumped me like a hot potato the second he thought I did something out of step with his way of thinking.
“You don’t need him or his negativity,” I said aloud, trying to make myself believe the words.
It wasn’t working. I hated the idea of him touching another woman, sharing his body with someone else. I thought about his demand to have an heir. That would only happen one way. It actually made me feel ill to think of him doing what he did to me with some other woman who could never feel the way I did. Sure, his money, good looks, and his skill in the bedroom would make another woman very happy, but she would never really appreciate him like I had. I knew there was more to him. I wanted to put in the time to really get to know him and make our partnership work. I was convinced another woman would simply want him for what he could offer and not care about him in the slightest.
I took a deep breath and once again pushed him from my thoughts. I lathered my loofah and cleansed my body, finding myself right back to thoughts of Grayson and his hands roaming my body the way only he could.
“Stop,” I told myself when the thoughts started turning dangerously naughty.
I needed to accept the fact it was over. What we had shared those few times was in the past. He was a one-night stand. Nothing more. I turned the water to ice-cold to finish off the shower and tamp down my raging desire. The man had a way of making me think thoughts no proper woman should ever fantasize about. I smiled. Proper was boring. Grayson was anything but proper, especially in bed.
I managed to get dressed before pleasuring myself and then headed back to the kitchen in search of something to eat. I vowed not to think about him another minute. He didn’t deserve the energy. I was fine before him and I would be fine after him. It was time to start over. I needed to embrace the new and follow the advice of some smart person who once said when one door closes, another one opens. I needed to make that door and bust through.
I grabbed my phone after scarfing down a couple pieces of toast and called Amber.
“Hey,” I greeted when she answered the phone, her voice groggy.
“Hmm, isn’t it early?” she complained.
�
�It’s after nine, come on, wakey wakey!” I teased. I was in a good mood with my new plan for life.
“Why are you so happy on a Sunday morning?” she said, her voice raspy with sleep.
“I went for a run and I have an idea. Wake up!” I shouted.
I heard some mumbling and what I thought was a few harsh words but couldn’t be sure. I waited, knowing she was sitting up and probably making her way to her kitchen. I knew her well and knew she wasn’t exactly a morning person until she got a few sips of coffee in her.
“This is so dumb. Your idea can’t wait until noon?”
I laughed. “Nope. Hurry up and drink your coffee.”
I heard the clatter of a mug being pulled out of the cupboard followed by the running water. Thank God for sixty-second coffee makers. She would be right as rain in no time.
“All right, hit me,” she said, her voice a little clearer as I listened to her sip coffee.
“I want to start a new company.”
“Good. You should.”
I paused for a second. “Do you want to be a part of it?” I asked hesitantly, knowing what I was asking her to give up. She had stability and security right now. Leaving that could be difficult, but I knew she was an adventurous person and was counting on her to take the leap with me.
“Hannah, seriously?” she replied.
I was instantly offended. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“Duh! Of course, I’m with you. I was wondering how long it would take you to come out on the other side of this. I’m loyal to you, not him. I’m not going to be a part of that company if you’re not there, and there is no way I’m working for the man who dicked you over so bad,” she said firmly.
I burst into laughter at her choice of words. “Thank you. I wasn’t sure, and I hate to ask, but I think my experience the first time around has helped.”
“Good. Me too. What kind of company are you thinking about?”
It was a good question. “I’m not sure. I have a feeling once he pulls his head out of his ass and I’m officially terminated, there will be some kind of non-compete clause. I’ll have my lawyer do what he can to try and get me out of it, but I don’t know if I can do the makeup thing again.”
She sighed. “You’re probably right. Don’t rush into anything. Think about what makes you excited. Don’t start a company just to start a company.”
“I know, you’re right. I’m thinking in the same vein of the natural makeup line. There is a good market out there for it. Maybe personal care products. We talked about branching out a while back, this could be our new niche.”
“I agree. You put your little brain to work. I’m going to finish my coffee and pretend I wasn’t woken up early on a Sunday morning.”
I laughed again before saying goodbye and heading for my desk in the extra bedroom, which acted as my office. I wanted to jot down some ideas while I was energetic about it.
Chapter 32
Grayson
I kept thinking I should call Hannah about this or that as I combed through her company’s financials and projections. I had a lot of questions and no one else knew the business like her. How could anyone else compare to Hannah? It was her baby and no one else could possibly understand the drive behind making it successful. I sighed, wondering if I had made a mistake. I hadn’t been able to get the image of her walking out of the club out of my mind. I was a dick. I knew that. I wasn’t entirely convinced her tears weren’t contrived, but there was a little niggle of doubt that wouldn’t let up.
I had debated calling Jack and asking him for his version of events but didn’t want to appear weak. I wanted to know if his story would match Hannah’s. I wanted to ask him directly why he went behind my back to have lunch with my fiancée. It was scandalous and deceitful. There was no way it was an innocent meeting. He was up to something. The guy had me right where he wanted me. I would not let him think he had won. I was convinced he had purposely set out to sabotage me. Even if Hannah wasn’t working with him, he had asked her to lunch to try and persuade her to go along with whatever it was he was planning, of that I was sure. I didn’t trust him.
Calling him would ensure we didn’t end up in a fistfight in the office. That would spark rumors I didn’t want to deal with. I didn’t want the family’s dirty laundry aired out for all to see. No one really knew about my relationship with Jack and how strained it was. I looked at his number in my cell and put it away. I couldn’t call. I returned my focus to work, only to have my phone ring a few minutes later. The ringtone told me it was my mom without me having to look at the screen.
“Hi, Mom,” I said, happy to hear from her.
She was the one person in the world I could trust. I loved my mom. She was the only person I could say that about. I was sure I felt something for each of my brothers, but it wasn’t like what I felt for my mom. She could make my day better with a single word. She could also ruin my day if she wanted to. I always tried to make her proud of me, which isn’t something I did for anyone else.
“Grayson Bancroft,” she started, and I knew I was in trouble for something.
“What’s up, Mom? I didn’t do it, whatever it is you think I did,” I joked before she could have the chance to scold me.
“Oh, yes you did, and you know it.”
“Um, I don’t think I do know. I’ve done nothing to embarrass the family or disappoint you,” I said, wondering what it was she was upset about. Jack! He probably told her some crazy story about me making up the engagement. I was going to kill him, I fumed.
“What’s this nonsense with you and Jack now?” she asked in her authoritative-mom tone.
I cleared my throat, not knowing exactly how to answer. I wasn’t sure what she knew and didn’t want to accidentally say more than I should. “What nonsense? I haven’t talked to Jack in a week,” I told her, not lying at all.
She growled, and I could practically see her with her hands on her hips, her brow wrinkled up as she scowled at the phone. “That’s precisely what I’m talking about. He told me you’re not talking to him—again.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. Always the little brother tattling on me. When did it ever stop? “Mom, this is between Jack and me. It’s no big deal. He knows why I’m upset with him.”
“You two have been fighting for thirty years and I am done with it.”
“Mom, you don’t understand,” I started to explain.
“Oh no, it’s you who doesn’t understand.”
I sighed. “How don’t I understand? I was there? I was the one he stabbed in the back. Trust me, I understand exactly what’s happening here,” I grumbled, trying to keep my temper in check.
“Jack told me all about what happened the other day, and I’m sorry, I think you were way out of line. You’ve always been one to go on the defensive without listening to reason and you’ve done it again here,” she lectured.
I was suddenly furious. The guy wasn’t happy stealing Hannah, now he wanted to turn my mother against me. “I don’t know what Jack told you, but I don’t believe him, and you shouldn’t either,” I growled.
Her voice softened. “Grayson, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He and Hannah were friends in college. That’s it. He doesn’t want her. He isn’t trying to steal her from you. If you would have taken more than five minutes to get to know the woman, you would have figured out she knew your brother. You are rushing into this without thinking clearly. I’m worried about you jumping into a marriage with a woman you don’t truly know. Your brother isn’t trying to take anything from you. Quit making life so much harder than it has to be.”
“He’s the one who went behind my back and asked my fiancée out to lunch! That seems sneaky to me.”
“They are friends! They met in college and got along great! Your brother isn’t interested in her beyond catching up. If she’s supposed to be a part of the family, wouldn’t it be wise to have them actually like each other?” she snapped.
In my mind I wanted to say no but knew that
was the wrong answer. “She’s my fiancée, soon to be my wife, and hopefully the mother of my child one day. I don’t care if she and Jack get along. It isn’t like he and I spend a lot of time together.”
“Well maybe that should change. You’ve got a chip on your shoulder and I’m about tired of it. You two need to work out whatever is between you. I don’t like having my sons fighting each other. Your brother did nothing wrong,” she scolded.
I sighed. “Mom, you didn’t see them together,” I said, feeling a bit like I was whining.
“I don’t have to. I think you need to think twice about turning this into a family feud,” she said and ended the call.
I stared at the phone in total disbelief. My mother had hung up on me. She was really mad. I couldn’t remember her ever being that mad at me. I took a deep breath and rubbed my forehead, willing away the tension headache that was starting.
My mother was kind of right. I didn’t know Hannah. I did know Jack, though. Hannah may have been completely unaware of Jack trying to turn her against me. I thought about everything she had said in the office and again at the club. She sounded as if she were being sincere. Maybe I needed to give this whole fake marriage another chance.
Hannah was the perfect woman to be the mother of my son. She was smart, driven, and beautiful. Our son would inherit all of her traits and my own. I knew she would be a good mom and raise him to be respectful and kind. Had I done too much damage, I wondered. Was there a shot at convincing her to give the fake thing another try?
I shouldn’t have let myself lose control at the club. I knew I had said some things that were probably a little out of line. Seeing her in that dress, flirting with other men had infuriated me. It shouldn’t have. We weren’t together for real or fake. I had taken care of that.
I didn’t have the luxury of time to try and find another woman to step in and be my wife while also agreeing to have my child. I wasn’t interested in dating to find the woman who would likely not even come close to Hannah. I wanted Hannah. I hated to admit it to myself, but I wanted her. No other woman would do. I needed to figure out a way to convince her to give me another chance. I would not give her my heart and there was no way I was going to give her some flowery speech about loving her. No way, no how.
