by Parker, Ali
“I did not go out. Maybe tomorrow,” I lied.
“Hannah, I don’t want to keep lecturing you, but you need to get out and get some sun.”
I ignored the lecture. “Did anyone say anything?” I asked, wanting to know if the rumors were running wild at my old work yet.
“Nope. I guess they think you are away on some spa vacation.”
“Good. He hasn’t hired another CEO yet or appointed someone to act in my absence?”
She sighed audibly. “No. We are going to have to deal with this eventually. I don’t expect you to go back there, but we need to announce your resignation.”
I nodded. “I know. I figured he would do it.”
“I think he’s busy with other stuff.”
I scoffed. “Like finding a woman willing to marry him and have his child.”
She ignored my comment. I could hear her heading my way and was a little embarrassed by my disheveled appearance.
“You need to eat. You’re going to wither away and die if you don’t eat today. You’ll feel better and have more energy if you have food on your stomach,” she lectured, coming around the couch and sitting down.
She set a large bag on the table. The smell of the Thai food nearly made me vomit. I didn’t even have to read the name on the bag to know exactly what it was. Usually, it was one of my favorite restaurants. Tonight, it smelled horrible and was making my stomach twist and turn. I could feel bile rising in my throat.
I sat up, not wanting to be rude, but needing to put some distance between myself and the contents of the bag. “Thank you. I don’t think I’m hungry.”
She shook her head. “You said that last night.”
She reached into the bag and pulled out a white Styrofoam container and set it in front of me. I reached for the thing and opened the lid, my stomach immediately revolting at the sight and smell of the food.
“Yeah, I’m really not hungry. I can’t eat that,” I said, quickly closing the lid.
Amber looked at me before getting up and coming back with her purse. “I’m going to show you something and I don’t want you to freak out.”
I groaned. “Great. I can’t imagine what it could be. Show me and let’s get it over with.”
She reached into her purse and pulled out a small box. “Here. You need to take this.”
I took the box, read the label, and looked at her with horror. “What? No way!”
She nodded. “It’s a pregnancy test. You need to find out if you’re pregnant. These symptoms you’re experiencing could be for something other than what you think. I know you, and this is not like you. Something else is going on.”
I shook my head. “I can’t be. Fate would not be that cruel, would it?”
“I don’t know if it has anything to do with fate and really, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Take the test and let’s find out.”
I did a little mental math and groaned. “Oh no. Wouldn’t that be just what I needed at this point? He would end up getting his way after all.”
“Don’t freak out until you know for sure. Go take the test. I’ll wait,” she ordered.
I stood up and headed for the bathroom. My hands shaking as I fumbled with the box. This couldn’t be happening. How could one person be so unlucky to get royally screwed over and pregnant in the same week? I had a feeling it was more than likely a little longer than a few weeks, but I couldn’t say for sure. When I knew the wedding was moving forward, I had stopped taking the pill, wanting to be ready to start trying for a baby right away. The doctor had told me it could take a few months. I swore if that little pink plus sign showed up in the window, I was going to give that doctor a piece of my mind.
I quickly read the instructions and took the test. Granted, I was supposed to wait until first thing in the morning, but there was no way I could sleep with this idea in my head. I washed my hands, before turning my back on the test sitting on the bathroom counter.
“All good?” Amber’s voice came through the door.
“I just finished. Give me a minute,” I called out.
This was something I had to do alone. I couldn’t wait with her and see the look of pity on her face when I found out my fate. I silently prayed for the right outcome. I knew it was ready. The results were right behind me. All I had to do was look at the test. It was dummy proof. I couldn’t misread the results. Either I was, or I wasn’t.
I couldn’t look at it. I waited for a full minute and then just to give it a little more time, I waited another minute before turning back around, my eyes closed. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes, and looked down at the stick sitting on the counter with a bright-pink plus sign in the window.
“Oh shit.” I groaned.
I was pregnant. It couldn’t have happened at a worse time.
Chapter 50
Grayson
My apartment would never feel the same again. Before, it had been my refuge. It was the one place I could be and not feel like I had to pretend to be anyone else. I could kick back and relax in a pair of shorts and watch a game on TV. I didn’t have to be the stalwart businessman who never expressed emotion and always wore an expensive suit. I got to be the real Grayson Bancroft when I was at home.
At least I used to be. The apartment didn’t feel like home anymore. It wasn’t the place where I could unwind and escape the demands of being the CEO of one of the biggest and most successful companies in the country. There were too many reminders of Hannah. Hell, even her overnight bag was still sitting in my room, right where she had left it in preparation for our wedding night.
I had been tempted on several occasions to open the bag. I wanted to feel close to her and touching her things was one way to do that. I knew she was at Amber’s house and I knew the address. At first, I had intended on going over there and beating on the door, demanding she speak to me. I hadn’t done that, and I wasn’t sure why.
I had screwed up—that I knew for certain, but had Jack been right? Had I pushed away the one woman in the world who would put up with my shit? I knew I wasn’t an easy man to get along with and I was definitely not the most lovable creature on the planet. I was cold and aloof, and I never spoke about my feelings. Hannah had looked past all that and loved me anyway.
I headed to the kitchen to grab a cold beer, passing a mirror on the wall in my living room. My lip had healed, and my eye had a faint yellow stain in the corner where it was taking forever to heal. I had fucked up there as well. I lost a wife and brother all in a weekend. That had to be some kind of record.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped the top, and took a long drink, trying to dull the thoughts that wouldn’t stop coming. I didn’t like making mistakes and I was certainly not fond of admitting to those mistakes. I had been trying to ignore the situation, blaming Jack, blaming Hannah, and blaming everyone else for what I had done. I had created a mess and I didn’t want to accept it.
I was even more pissed that Hannah had actually walked away. When she had left the hotel, I was convinced she’d be back. She was pissed and needed a few days to cool down. She’d see reason and realize she wanted to keep her job and she’d return one of my many calls. We’d talk, we’d have sex, and all would be right with the world.
Except she hadn’t called. She hadn’t gone to work or made any attempt at all to reach me. She’d gone dark, ghosted me completely. I grinned, not able to help the sense of pride I felt at her stubbornness. That was why she was so good for me. She wasn’t like the other women. Another woman would have walked out but been right back, apologizing for the drama. Not Hannah. She had walked out and never turned back.
I had passed along several messages to Amber, knowing she knew damn well how to reach Hannah, even though she played stupid. Hannah had a loyal friend. That was something I admired, and I was glad she had someone like that in her corner.
I walked back to the couch and sat down, putting my feet up on the coffee table and drinking my beer, reflecting on the past two months. I hadn’t t
reated Hannah like she should have been. She was kind, strong, and willing to give me the benefit of the doubt over and over again. She let me dominate her when we both knew she could have told me to take a flying leap. Hannah was not the kind of woman who let anyone tell her what to do, but she had let me. That was her giving me what I wanted and what I needed.
I doubted there was another woman in the world who would raise me up and give me everything I needed like Hannah did. She knew when to touch me, when to kiss me, and when to give me space. She had been so in tune to what I needed, and I had completely ignored what she needed. Obviously, I gave her everything she needed in the bedroom, but I wasn’t arrogant enough to believe that was enough for a relationship.
I knew I should apologize for not treating her the way she deserved. Pride had kept me from doing that in the many messages I had left on her voice mail. Stupid pride had costed me the one thing in my life that brought me real happiness. I could admit it now that she was gone. I looked forward to our dinner dates and talking about everything that popped into our heads. I had repeatedly told her we had a business deal and she always smiled and nodded, knowing I was full of shit.
She said she had thought she felt something from me. She wasn’t wrong. I had tried to hold back, keep the feelings from growing, but I couldn’t. I hated that she had been able to strip away that outer layer of defenses. I couldn’t let her get close.
“You’re a fool,” I said, shaking my head.
I’d heard it from my brother several times, but I didn’t want him to be right. I couldn’t let him be right. I looked at the bottle of beer in my hand. It wasn’t enough. I needed something a lot stronger. I needed to dull the pain and frustration.
I headed back into the kitchen and pulled out my bottle of Jack Daniel’s, not worrying about mixing my alcohols. I wanted to get shit-faced drunk.
“Hey, Jack. I’ve missed you, my friend,” I said as I poured some of the amber-colored liquid into a glass before adding a few splashes of Coke.
I drank the first one too fast and found myself pouring another. It felt good to make the feelings go away just a little. I knew what I had to do. Hannah had run away from me because I’d been a dick. I was not good for any woman. I owed her a divorce. She hadn’t done anything to start the proceedings, so I would.
I called my lawyer’s office and left a message on his voice mail. I wanted the paperwork drawn up immediately. I wanted to end the whole thing. I no longer cared about the fake marriage, the business deal, or my inheritance.
“Fuck it,” I mumbled.
I had plenty of money, more money than I could spend in a lifetime and that was because my dad had been smart enough to find a good woman and stick with her until the end. He had the support he needed to make the company a booming success. I wouldn’t have that luxury.
Hannah had the right idea, I decided. I was going to take a page out of her book as well. I poured another whiskey, skipping the cola, and drank it straight before calling my assistant. I didn’t care that it was a Sunday. The guy could have tomorrow off. And the next day, I thought with a drunken grin.
“I need the jet ready to go in two hours,” I said, hoping I wasn’t slurring my words.
“Excuse me? The jet? You’re leaving town?”
I shook my head. “I’m leaving the country. Make sure the jet is fueled and find a flight attendant. I’ll pay triple their normal fee for the short notice.”
“Uh, sir, I don’t know if it can be ready in two hours.”
I was not in the mood. “It can be, and it will be. Have my jet ready and a pilot waiting for me in two hours. I’m leaving.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll do what I can.”
There was a long pause before he hung up to do my bidding. The guy was good, it was why I hired him and why I paid him so well. He would move heaven and earth to do what I asked. I smiled, feeling better about life already. I had taken the first step to making all of this go away. I needed purpose and leaving had given me that purpose. I headed for my bedroom, pulled my suitcase from my walk-in closet, and stared at the rows of suits neatly hung in rows by color. I shook my head. I wouldn’t need suits for where I was going. I wasn’t sure I would ever put on another suit again.
I strolled to the back of the closet where I managed to find a few pairs of shorts and jeans and some additional casual clothing. I stuffed them in the suitcase before going back in search of shoes. No more wingtips for me. I was going to have to do a little shopping, I mused, looking at the extreme lack of casual clothing I found in my closet. Damn, I had been a stuffed suit most of my life. No wonder I was so serious. I never gave myself a chance to let loose.
I walked into the bathroom suite, grabbed more stuff, and shoved a few more things into the bag—not giving a shit that everything would be wrinkled—and zipped it closed. I glanced around the room and saw Hannah everywhere. She’d spent so many nights with me in my bed I wouldn’t be able to sleep in the bed again. I would give it away. She was the reason I had to get out of the city. I couldn’t stand to see all the reminders of one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Hannah wasn’t the mistake—I was.
I clumsily pulled the suitcase off the bed and dragged it out to the living room. I called and ordered a car to take me to the airport before flopping down on the couch again and waiting. I was running away from home. I was going to get as far away from the Bancroft Estates and my brother as I could possibly get. I was running from Hannah as well. And the feelings she had stirred up inside me. A little time and distance. That’s all I needed to get my head on straight once again.
If she could do it, I could too. The only difference was I wasn’t going to hide out in someone’s apartment. I was going to leave the damn country. Hell, I owed myself a honeymoon. Now seemed like a great time to take it, considering I was on the cusp of divorce.
I held my phone in my hand and thought about texting Jack and letting him know he won. He could have the company and anything else he wanted. It was no longer what I wanted. It only brought me misery. I started typing out the words and stopped. No, Jack could find out on his own. I wasn’t going to be that nice and give him a heads-up. My fingers drifted to the corner of my eye, remembering the blow he had delivered. Nope, Jack was on his own. Maybe he and Hannah were right for each other. He could have her as well.
Chapter 51
Grayson
It had been six weeks since I had seen or talked to Hannah. She’s left her job for good as far as I could tell. She hadn’t officially resigned, but I didn’t expect her to. She just never showed up. I had quit asking Amber about her. There was no point. I had waited a month before I appointed a new CEO. I hadn’t wanted to do it, but I couldn’t leave the company without a leader for much longer.
I was a little surprised by Hannah’s commitment to being pissed at me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had figured she would get over it and want to talk. She’d call me and say she wanted her job—her company—and could we talk about how that would work. I would tell her she could keep her company and we could stick to our original deal. It never happened.
Six weeks was a really long time to be pissed. It wasn’t until that morning I had the stark realization she wasn’t getting over it, which was why I was leaving the country again. I was going to stay gone a lot longer than a weekend. I had to put some distance between us, even though we could have been on separate continents the last six weeks with the way she had been avoiding me like the plague. Distance was supposed to make the heart grow fonder. I was hoping it would harden mine.
I knew I was running away, but I had to do something to keep my mind off the woman. I hated sitting around thinking about what she was doing and who she was doing it with. Some part of me felt like I had a claim over her and should be able to demand she speak to me. Technically, I did have a claim. We were technically still married. We’d said vows and I was sure there was something in there about her obeying me.
I had called my lawyer to get things started that Su
nday night, but I never followed up. My attorney had called me a few times, but I claimed to be busy. I was dragging my feet on actually filing the paperwork for the annulment. I hadn’t filed because she hadn’t. That meant there was hope. Maybe. Possibly. Or she was enjoying torturing me, which was very possible. It was thoughts like these I needed to escape. A little sun and sand in some faraway place were exactly what I needed. I needed time to get clarity.
I tossed in another pair of shorts. Thankful to have a much broader vacation wardrobe to choose from after my last emergency trip. I was prepared for some downtime that didn’t require cuff links or ties. I planned on relaxing on the beach most of my days. I didn’t want to see anyone and therefore I didn’t need to dress for anyone but myself, and I planned on being very comfortable. I was going to go from the bed to the beach. I’d have someone bring me drinks all day while I lounged in a comfortable chair.
Thinking about my coming vacation was giving me something else to dwell on. I smiled and sipped from the glass of scotch, my second one for the day as I worked hard to make myself forget all about Hannah. It wasn’t working. Nothing had worked. Work, alcohol, working out—nothing was keeping the memory of her and our last conversation at bay. I couldn’t stop seeing the look on her face when she heard my conversation with Jack. I knew I had hurt her. That hadn’t been my intention. I only wanted to know the truth. When I wasn’t thinking about what I should have said or done, I was thinking about sex with her and how much I wanted to touch her.
My mood the past few weeks had been borderline tyrannical. I was acting like a jerk. I knew I was being a total dick. I couldn’t seem to get my anger under control. Everything pissed me off. Everything irritated me. I had apologized no less than a hundred times to my poor assistant and my secretary. I tried not to take my frustration out on them, but I was failing miserably, which was why I was taking a nice long vacation to the Maldives. My jet was ready, and my car should have already arrived. I was glad my driver was late since the packing was taking me a little longer than usual. I blamed the scotch. It was muddying my brain a little. That and Hannah’s memory.
