“I don’t know,” he said softly. “But whatever she’s going after, we can handle it. Together, as a family.”
I nodded against his shoulder. “Thanks, Cookie Monster.”
He smiled a little. “Are you okay? Your aura is a little dirty.”
I snorted. “It’s so weird to hear you talk about auras.” I lifted my head and met his gaze. “How are you doing with that?”
He shrugged. “It comes and goes at weird times. Usually the person needs to be in a highly emotional state for me to see it.”
I could feel the corner of my lips twitch with a smile. “What do you see when you look at mine?”
His mouth lifted into a half grin. “Well, yours is usually a bright gold. It swirls around you just above your skin.” He took my hand in his. “Sometimes there’s little flecks of white and gray, but mostly it’s gold.”
“There’s gray in my aura?” I asked.
He nodded as his fingers tangled in mine. “Uma says that’s typical. Gray usually means damage or depression. Everyone has a little of it.”
“But I’m dirty today?”
He nodded, his eyes warm. “You’re wearing out and getting down on yourself.”
I looked down at our hands. “You might be right.”
“Lexie, I’m here for you,” he whispered. “We all are. Don’t put everything on your own shoulders.”
“But everyone …”
He raised an eyebrow. “Say it, Red.”
I shrugged. “Everyone seems to need something from me right now. And I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
“And you won’t. You would never disappoint us.” He tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “But I’m here for you, no matter what. To talk, to cuddle, to share the load. I’m here for you, okay?”
I closed my eyes. I had forgotten that Isaac had been working to keep everything smooth between everyone. He’d been there for everyone lately. Making sure everyone was communicating and such. “Thank you, for everything you’re doing for everyone.”
His cheeks turned a dusky rose. “That’s what I’m here for.”
I leaned over and kissed him gently. His hand cupped my cheek before I pulled back and met his eyes.
“Hungry?” he whispered.
I nodded.
He grinned. “Come on, they’re waiting for us.”
We got off the steps and headed to the dining room.
Dinner was almost over when Zeke glanced at the door then cursed. The twins and I all looked at him.
“Miles didn’t come for dinner again,” he muttered.
Frustration sat like a knot in my stomach. “Neither did Asher.” Though at least he was out on a run. “And Jessica is still eating all her meals in my room.”
“Okay, who’s officially worried about Miles?” Isaac raised his hand.
Everyone raised their hands.
“Intervention?” Ethan dropped his hand.
Isaac shook his head. “That won’t work with him. He’ll simply disappear more into his project.”
“He’s in denial about his dad,” Isaac stated.
“We can’t force him to accept his death,” Ethan replied.
“At this point, I’d just be happy with him understanding his father is dead,” I muttered.
“Has he seen the body?” Zeke turned back to the table and met my gaze.
I shook my head.
Zeke sighed. “For me, that was the only way I was able to believe mine was dead.”
Isaac’s eyebrows shot up. “You think he needs to see the body?”
Zeke shrugged. “It’s just a suggestion.”
“That’s a little rough, isn’t it?” Ethan said. “Couldn’t that do more damage?”
“As much damage as never facing it?” Zeke countered.
The table fell into silence.
Making Miles see his father’s body? I guess it was an option. “Let’s say that’s our last resort,” I said.
The guys all agreed.
“Lexie, can you try to get him to eat?” Zeke asked.
I nodded as I got to my feet and dished up a bowl of stew for Miles, throwing in a couple of biscuits for good measure.
“I think he’s in the study,” Ethan offered as I headed into the hallway.
Miles
There was a soft knock on the study door. I didn’t call out. I didn’t move. It was my fault. All my fault. He was really dead. Liam had used every contact he could of my father’s and anything that tied to Jadis. And he had come up with nothing. But this? This I didn’t expect.
I rubbed my eyes as the door creaked opened.
“Miles?” Her sweet voice called from the doorway into the dimly lit room. I couldn’t answer as I stared at the floorboards. Asher’s house. Ethan’s attack. It was my fault. All of it. A pit of blackness opened up inside me and threatened to consume me. I picked up my tumbler and took a drink of scotch. It burned down my throat and I welcomed it in this abyss.
“Nemo?” Lexie came to the other side of the desk, a bowl in her hand.
I killed him. And I’d get her killed too. My eyes burned as rage coursed through me. I’m not going to be my father. I won’t get her killed. Won’t get them killed. But everything I’d done until now hadn’t worked. And now, I was out of ideas. Out of resources. “It was all for nothing.”
“What was?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. A long curl escaped and slid down her shoulder. My fingers itched to tuck it back.
But I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. It was all for nothing. “His contacts are useless.” I gripped the arm of my chair until my knuckles turned white. “They can’t even find one fucking witch.”
It wasn’t until I heard her sharp intake of breath that I even registered what I had said.
My stomach gave a hard twist “I’m sorry, you should go.”
Instead of leaving she set the bowl down on the desk then stepped around to my side. “Talk to me.”
My eyes stung as I shook my head. If she knew, she’d never forgive me. Not for putting the others in danger. Not for attacking Jadis. She’d realize what I really was — a control freak with daddy issues. I shook my head. “You should go.”
She knelt near my knees, the scent of rosemary filling my lungs. My heart ached. Would she ever let me this close to her again if she knew?
“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered.
I shook my head as tears rolled down my face. “I can’t tell you. Don’t make me tell you. You’ll hate me.”
Her eyes widened then filled with warmth. “There’s nothing in this world that could make me hate you.”
I huffed. “You say that now.” But I knew Lexie, if nothing else, protected what she loved, and I had put them in danger.
“Miles, you’re scaring me,” she said softly. “You’re drinking alone in your office.”
I shook my head. No, no, that was the last thing I wanted. I sat up and moved closer to her. “I messed up, Angel. I messed up really bad. And you’ll hate me for it.”
“I could never hate you, Nemo,” she said, with her heart in her eyes.
Don’t tell her. Don’t.
But I knew it was pointless. I had to come clean. “His contacts are useless,” I began in a dry rasp. “They can’t find Jadis. Everything was for nothing.”
“What was?”
I took a deep shuddering breath. “I sent my father after Jadis. And it killed him.”
Her hands took mine. “Oh, sweetie. That’s not your fault.”
I nodded. “It is, Angel, he wouldn’t have gone if it weren’t for me. And if it weren’t for me the others wouldn’t be in danger now.”
“You’re not making sense.” She squeezed my hand in hers. “Who’s in danger now?”
“All of you.” My voice cracked. The door creaked open, but I ignored it, completely focused on the beautiful woman in front of me. “Liam spotted one of Jadis’ people near Asher’s house before it went up. Jadis was behind the fire.”
She
swallowed hard. “Okay, but that’s new information we can use. Now that we know—”
“Don’t you get it?” I asked. “They’re coming after us because I attacked first. I put all of us in danger.”
Her eyes shone in the low light, sparkling with unshed tears.
Now it would come. The anger. The rage. How it was my fault. How I should have known better. How she couldn’t stand to look at me anymore. I pulled away from her and buried my face in my hands. “I’m sorry, Angel. I didn’t think. I know you hate me—”
She pulled my hands from my face and met my gaze. “I can never hate you, Miles. You made a mistake. That’s all.”
“It got him killed,” I breathed. “I killed my father.”
Her face morphed, filled with patience and love I didn’t deserve. “No, Nemo. You didn’t.”
“Can you still love a killer?” I rasped as more tears fell.
“I love you.” She gave me a warm smile that lit up her face like sunshine. “And you’re not a killer.”
Relief left me sagging in my chair. The world tilted and spun. I couldn’t seem to stop the tears from falling as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She hugged me tightly as I breathed in her scent.
The floorboards creaked.
“He’s wasted,” Zeke’s voice came from the shadows.
“Yeah.” Lexie pulled back from me and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “We’ll talk about this in the morning. But I still love you, Nemo.”
Zeke’s hand came down on my shoulder. “Come on, man. Let’s get you to bed.”
Lexie moved back.
I stumbled to my feet. Zeke took my arm and helped me move around the desk. “I’m sorry, Zeke.”
“Don’t be sorry, man,” he said in a gruff voice as he helped guide me out of the office.
“I didn’t mean to kill him,” I mumbled as we started down the hallway.
“We know.”
“I don’t want to be him, Zeke,” I whispered.
He squeezed my shoulder. “I know.”
“Don’t let me be him,” I muttered as the world began to go dark.
Zeke
I was in the garage under Miles’ truck, changing the oil when two booted feet came into view to my right.
“Zeke?” Hades’ voice was hesitant.
“Down here,” I called as I finished bolting the oil pan back in place. I slid out from under the truck to look up at the familiar.
He tilted his head to the side in a very dog-like manner. “What are you doing down there?”
“I was changing the oil on the truck.” I grunted as I got to my feet. “You need something?”
He shifted on his feet and looked at the floor. “I need to ask you something.”
I pulled my handkerchief out of my back pocket and began cleaning my hands. This wasn’t the first time Hades had come to me with questions, but it was the first time he’d looked like a lost little kid. “Is it about Lexie?”
He nodded, still looking at the floor.
“Ask away.”
He sighed. “I don’t know how to talk to her. Or get her to understand that killing Ordin was necessary. All we do is fight. I’m doing things the best way I know how, and it just makes it worse.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Is Lexie still with Miles?”
He leaned against Lexie’s Blazer. “Yeah. She’s hasn’t left his side since he passed out.”
“Does she even know you’ve been watching her?” I asked.
“She said she needed space.” He met my gaze. “What does that mean for a human?”
Oh hell. “It means give her some time to understand and process what it is going on.”
He scowled at me. “Process? What’s to process? Ordin was a threat, now he’s not.”
I leaned back against the truck. “Okay, let’s start simple. Lexie, above all things, believes that killing is wrong. She feels it down to her soul. It’s part of who she is. She values life above everything else.”
Hades frowned. “Why?”
His question took me back. “Why what?”
“Why does she value life so much?” he asked. “Considering the things she’s survived, the things you survived, the constant pain, the uncertainty, why?”
Was he talking about Lexie or himself? “Because she had to fight for it. She almost died, several times, Hades.”
“I know.”
“That’s how she is,” I said. “She thinks as long as there is life, there’s hope for a better tomorrow.”
“You do too,” he muttered, his brow furrowing as it turned down in a slight frown. “I understand feeling that way about normal people, but not people like Ordin.”
I folded the handkerchief and stuffed it back into my back pocket. “I’m with you there. But she’s not us. She’s her.”
He shook his head, his confusion plainly written on his face.
“Why did you kill him?” I asked carefully, trying a different route. “Truthfully.”
“He was going to come after Lexie again.” He met my gaze.
I nodded. “How do you know that?”
“I was keeping an eye on him,” he hedged.
I knew him better than that. “What do you mean you were keeping an eye on him?”
He shrugged. “I visited the hospital some nights while he was sleeping and went through his things.”
My eyebrows met my hairline. “You were sneaking into the hospital?”
“Wasn’t much sneaking, their security is rather lax.”
“What did you find that made you think he was going to go after Lexie again?” I asked.
“It was all over his journal. Drawings of her, the things he wanted to do to make her suffer for putting him there … all of it.”
That sick fuck. “What happened to it?”
“I burned it in the fireplace after I came back from killing him,” he muttered.
I looked out at the house through the open garage door. I really wasn’t the best person for this conversation, but Hades had come to me. I turned back to him. “That was only proof that he was mentally fucked up. That doesn’t mean he was going to go after her.”
He scowled. “Yeah, but his mother was close to getting him an early release from the hospital.”
My heart dropped. “What?”
Hades nodded. “It’s why I had to act now.”
“Those fucking assholes,” I bit out, barely resisting the urge to hit something. “Does Lexie know that?”
“No.”
I tried to rub the ache out of my jaw as I wondered if I was doing the right thing here. “You should probably tell her. That should clear up any misunderstanding.”
“How would that clear it up?” he asked.
“Because right now, she thinks you did it because you enjoyed it. Or something like that,” I explained. “She doesn’t know you had a valid reason to do what you did. Tell her the reason and that should help.”
His head was hung low. “I’ll try.”
I eyed him. “How are you dealing with everything else? Being in your human form?”
He shrugged. “Fine, I guess. It’s weird being on two legs all the time, but anytime Lexie sees me in my true form she gets oddly sad.”
“Yeah, I expect so.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“She misses her dog, Hades. She loves ya. And now she’s confused because you also have a human form.”
He frowned at me, his brows drawing in. “Should … should I stay in my true form?”
“Probably not.” I doubt reminding Lexie that he was her dog would help. Hell, it might even make things worse.
He shook his head. “She doesn’t want to see me in my human form, and she gets sad when I’m in my true form. Is this a human thing?”
I shrugged. “Humans are complicated. I think you just need to be patient.”
He nodded, face solemn. “I thought she was going to rebuke me today.”
“What does that mean?”
&nb
sp; “Basically, fire me from protecting her,” he murmured as he went to the side of the truck and picked up a wrench.
“What would that mean for you?” I asked, curious.
“I’d go home in disgrace, without honor. I’d never have another witch to protect. Never find a mate of my species.” He began fiddling with the wrench. “The only thing worse is having a witch die while under your protection.”
I leaned against the truck. “So, bad.”
“Yes, very bad.”
“Lexie won’t do that, not if she knows what it would do to you,” I tried to reassure him. “So, how does this work? The familiar thing? How do you get one?”
He looked down at his hands. “Well, a normal person can’t. It’s not like going out and adopting a cat. There has to be a danger and a need for a familiar. Even then, you might not get one. A higher power needs to assign one to you.”
“And who assigned you to Lexie?”
“Her Reaper grandmother.” He set the wrench down next to the others. “She went to my mother, and they decided there was enough need to send me. They made sure that the information on Neapolitan Mastiffs made it to Miles, they spelled the breeder, and I was brought to you.”
“That’s a lot of work to keep things a secret.”
He nodded. “You were never supposed to know I had a human form, but the circumstances warranted exposure.”
“You saved Lexie,” I said. “That’s what matters.”
“Luckily, the compulsion wiped Rory’s memory of it.” He picked up a screwdriver and spun it in his hands. “Otherwise, he’d hate me as much as Lexie does.”
Probably. Lexie had decided that it was one secret Rory couldn’t know. And frankly, I agreed. Finding out the dog you let lay on your chest while you watched football had a human form? Yeah, there’d be an issue. “She doesn’t hate you. She’s confused by you.”
He nodded as he set down the screwdriver.
“So, they give you a job and send you off as a baby?” I asked, hoping to take his mind off of Lexie. “Without instruction? Isn’t that kind of rough?”
He nodded. “That’s the way it is. Familiars aren’t running through the streets. There aren’t a lot of us. Our instincts usually guide us in the right direction. Once a contract was made, my entire purpose was to protect Lexie. From nightmares, to her enemies, shadow people, demons, humans, all of it.”
When The Grave Calls (The Veil Diaries Book 9) Page 7
