by Megan Slayer
“I’ll call you later, Dad,” Aiden said. “Ross, it’s been nice getting to meet you.” He’d lied. The only things he knew about Ross were those he didn’t like, but if he made Len happy and wasn’t an ass to him, then Aiden wouldn’t argue.
“Bye, boys.” Ross waved. He then turned his back on Aiden and Matt as if they weren’t there.
“Okay,” Aiden murmured. He left with Matt and didn’t say anything until they were together in the elevator. “Was it just me, or was that super awkward?”
“Super awkward.” Matt draped his arm around Aiden’s shoulders. “Feel better?”
“I do. I’m not wild about Ross, but Dad sees something in him and doesn’t seem to buy Ross’ bull crap, so if it works for them…I won’t argue. I’m sure my father wouldn’t have picked you out for me, but since we make each other happy, he won’t say anything, either.” Aiden leaned into his boyfriend. He needed a nap.
“Why wouldn’t he have picked me?” Matt asked. “I’m a pillar of society.”
“You are, but he always pushed the clean-cut college boys on me. He and Keye used to say I needed a man who was laced tighter than me so I’d finally relax.” He now understood the flaw in his father’s choice, but when he’d been a college man himself, he’d wanted nothing more than a preppy guy to ask him out. Just like now, he looked for the flaws in everyone before even getting together to begin with.
“Got it. Next time wear long sleeves.” Matt tensed. “Pretty boys aren’t always nice. Just because a guy has tats doesn’t mean he’s horrible.”
“I know.” Lucky came to mind. For a while, he’d considered giving up medicine just to shut his ex-boyfriend up, even though Lucky had only wanted him for his money.
“I’m sorry for that. No one deserves a dick for a boyfriend or an asshole for a father.” Matt strolled out of the elevator first, then stopped in the middle of the lobby. “Coming?”
Not yet, but I will be later. Aiden hurried up to Matt. “Maybe Ross is a great cock sucker. He’s handsome—if you’re into older men—and comes across charming, if you don’t know him well.”
“You’re not into older men?” Matt kept in step with Aiden across the parking lot. “What if I’m older than you?”
“I’m thirty-five. I’ll be thirty-six in June. You?” Aiden asked.
“I’m thirty-seven.” Matt grinned. “That makes me older.”
“Ah, but you don’t have so many years on me that you could be my father.” Aiden opened the door for Matt. “See?”
“True.”
“I like my men refined, professional and handsome but closer to my age.” He winked at Matt. “If he’s got ink or a few piercings, then that’s fine too.” He still wasn’t positive they could go the distance, but he wanted to put himself out there.
“Are you saying I’m your type?” Matt settled on the passenger seat.
“I am.” He sat beside Matt and closed his door. He’d held on to his feelings for long enough and needed to get them out. “This might be way too fast, but I’ve fallen for you.” Until you fail me.
“You have? Me?” Matt laughed. “It’s not funny that you like me, but it’s funny you mentioned the fast thing. You do remember I’m the one who practically pushed you into my bed like two weeks ago, right?”
“I remember.” He sped out of the parking lot. “I had to do some thinking first.”
“I’m still stunned.” Matt grasped Aiden’s hand. “But I like you too.”
“The way you handled yourself after the shooting, the night we met, the way we fuck…how you acted around my dad…you’re the one I want. I love being with you and I can’t wait to get home so we can fuck.”
“With care,” Matt added.
“Of course.” He sighed. “I’m the guy who thinks before he acts, but once I make the decision, I’m sure and I stick with it.” Well, usually. He’d worried for three months before settling on a college and a med school, doubted himself for two weeks before he’d asked Lucky out and made himself sick debating his decision to accept the job in Cedarwood. Admitting his feelings to Matt had been the most impulsive thing he’d done in forever. But he’d been burned in the past. Relationships didn’t always work. He knew that. He should’ve kept his mouth shut, but no. He’d keep his reservations in his mind for now.
“Aiden, you’re… I’m honored.” Matt kissed Aiden’s knuckles, sending a shiver of excitement through Aiden’s veins. “I’m a little choked up too.”
“Why?” Was Matt having second thoughts? Oh God. Please don’t let him be questioning us getting together. Part of him didn’t want the rejection, but the rest of him expected it.
“You see so much more in me than I thought was possible. I’m the guy who uses ink and metal to hide behind. My tats are my shield. If you can’t see the real me, you can’t hurt me.” Matt squeezed Aiden’s fingers. “I don’t like opening up, but you make me think it’s not all that bad if I do.”
Matt’s words touched him. Aiden glanced over at Matt. “There’s more to you than a tattoo.”
“You make me want to be a great man—one who isn’t afraid to be himself. I’m honored to be with you.”
“Likewise,” Aiden said. “You know, my father warmed up to you a lot more than I expected.” He remembered the last time Len had accepted one of his boyfriends—back in college when he’d dated Greg. The relationship had lasted a whole two months, but Greg had proved he was a stand-up guy. Unfortunately, he’d also loved sex and had hated to be faithful. Between Greg and Lucky, Aiden had learned to keep his heart guarded.
“Really? I don’t believe you. Len is a great guy.”
“He hated Lucky. Abhorred Seth and told me if I stayed with Dillon, he’d cut me out of the will.” When Len had lobbed the threats, Aiden had thought they were law. Looking back, he realized his father had just been trying to protect him—not very well, but he’d tried. Then again, Aiden’s tastes hadn’t been the best, and Len knew how to size people up after one meeting. If Len liked Matt enough to encourage getting together for the holidays, then Matt must be all right.
“Maybe you just needed to bring me along,” Matt said. “I’m a good-luck charm, Doc Cedarwood.”
“You’re the spark.” Aiden grinned. Matt made him happy, relaxed him and he now looked forward to his time off.
“Now you’re flattering me.”
“I’m being honest.” He couldn’t wait to get home—his home or Matt’s. They didn’t have to fuck. He’d enjoy lying together naked, but he had the feeling that once the clothes came off, sex would follow.
“I like it.” Matt scooted a little closer and palmed Aiden’s thigh. Once they reached his house and Aiden pushed the button to open the gate, Matt sat up straighter and tugged his phone from his pocket. “I should call Aaron before it gets too late. Do you mind? Go in and make yourself comfy. Strip, bathe, find the lube… I don’t care.” He winked. “I’ll be in once I’m done, then no interruptions.”
“Sure.” Aiden pulled through the gate and parked. He waited as Matt unlocked the door, then went inside while Matt wandered back to the driveway. Checking on Matt crossed his mind, but why? Matt was an adult and had a right to privacy. Besides, he didn’t really want to know about the shop.
Aiden wandered through the kitchen to the front room. He’d forgotten the beauty of old homes like Matt’s. Is there a parlor? The last Gothic-style house he’d seen—in a magazine—had a parlor and living-room area as well as a formal dining room and an enormous porch. He wandered around the house and realized just how much space Matt had as well as the scant amount of furniture. He noticed bits and pieces of what could be the original woodwork in the front room. The intricate carving seemed out of place against the bland white baseboard. He trailed his fingers over the wall in what he guessed to be the dining room. Spots in the middle of the wall seemed to sag. He’d seen that once in an old rental house. The woman must’ve painted over the wallpaper just like his former landlord insisted was important to fres
hen up the apartment.
Aiden stopped in the hallway. Of all the things he’d noticed—woodwork, wallpaper and the lack of furniture, save for the hulking television and lone sofa—there were a few things that stuck out because they weren’t there. No photos on the wall. No artwork. Not even a mirror.
Who doesn’t have some sort of decoration out?
Aiden’s heart broke. Something felt off. The longer he wandered through the house, the more he wondered about Matt. Part of him wanted to help add more color to Matt’s home. A few potted plants, some paintings or a poster or two, photographs and decent curtains. The rest of him swore he should take more of a hands-off approach. Duh…flaws? Where was his head? Besides, this was Matt’s place, not his, and he had no claim to how it looked.
He headed back into the living room but paused in the archway to the kitchen. A collage of photos caught his attention. How did I not see these before? He touched the frame and studied the smiling faces. Some of the people were familiar—Colt Harrison from the diner, Ashley Willis and Farin Baker. Others were sort of familiar to him. One man in particular grabbed his focus.
Aiden’s stomach clenched. The guy was certainly attractive. Black hair in a fashionable swoop over his forehead—almost like a fifties greaser—and his piercing blue eyes stopped Aiden in his tracks. The guy possessed the perfect amount of hair on his cheeks to be sexy and rugged without being overdone. Then there was the cleft in his chin. Damn. In one photo, he stood beside Matt and smiled. Then there was another where he was alone and smirking. When he smiled, he looked hot, but the smirk… Aiden didn’t know him, but he kind of wanted to.
He noticed Matt and the black-haired man in one of the photos and in an embrace. Jealousy rose within him. Was this the kind of guy Matt normally dated? If there were photos of him still on the wall, was Matt maybe tempted to go back to him?
Aiden sagged onto the closest stool. He shouldn’t be angry or jealous. Hell, Matt had had a life before him and would have one if they split up. There was no guarantee, no matter how much he’d fallen for Matt, that they’d stay together. He’d learned that lesson well from Lucky.
“Wow. That took a lot longer than I expected.” Matt slid his phone across the bar. “If there was something that could go wrong today, it did. Aaron can’t get the parts on the Caddy to fit right, Deighan put the wrong tires on the Lincoln and someone hit a rock or something that cracked the windshield of Aaron’s car while it was parked at the shop.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Aiden tried to act nonchalant, but ignoring the images on the wall wasn’t so easy.
“Want to order a pizza or Chinese? I don’t feel like cooking.” Matt untucked his shirt and stretched. “I don’t feel like doing much of anything.”
“Your shoulder is probably sore.” Aiden left his stool long enough to check Matt’s healing wound. The skin was still red along the line where the stitches had been, but it looked good. “How’s it feel?”
“It feels normal. A little stiff, but I just spent forever on the phone.” Matt rubbed Aiden’s upper arms. “What’s wrong? When we left the hospital, you were horny and ready to go. Now you seem withdrawn. What’d I do?”
“You didn’t do anything.” He eased out of Matt’s embrace. “I’m tired. It’s been a long day and the weight of what I’ve been through is on my mind.”
“Makes sense.” Matt grasped Aiden’s hand, keeping him close. “But I’m guessing it’s more than just being tired. You saw my collage.”
He bowed his head. Damn it. He’d been caught. “It’s yours and very colorful.”
“Want to go with that? Or do you want to tell me the truth?” Matt hugged him from behind. “I’d be miffed if I saw the guy I was currently involved with in the arms of another guy—even if it was only in a picture.”
“You’re fine. I’m guessing each one of those images is something to symbolize what you’ve been through.” Reminders of friends, good times, great places… The pictures told the story of Matt’s life. They also showed the flaw—Matt hadn’t let go of the past. He’d never match up to the others in Matt’s life. Maybe it was irrational of him to think that, but he couldn’t help himself.
Matt tensed. “Sort of.”
“See?” Aiden wriggled free from Matt. “I should go. I wasn’t lying when I said I had to work tomorrow. You sound like you’ve got your plate full too.”
“Don’t go.”
“Matt.” He faced his boyfriend. “This thing we’re doing is new. We’ve just been through a trying event. I need time to comprehend it all. I don’t want to leave, but I feel like I’m putting a lot of expectations on you because my life kind of went to shit overnight. This morning we were touching, kissing and getting to know each other. Then the crap with my father and Ross got in the way. I don’t trust him, but I can’t say anything because he’s with my father and they seem happy. I’m not convinced. Then I made things worse when I went and admitted I’d fallen for you. It’s too much.” Besides, he should’ve seen something like this coming. He should’ve been prepared.
Matt leaned against the bar. “Yeah, it is, but it’s ours to deal with. I didn’t get into this situation with my eyes closed. I knew the kind of man I’d welcomed into my bed. You’re special, and so you come with baggage. Like I don’t? Your accident got us in the same room, but my being shot was the catalyst for me to ask you out.” He tipped his head to the side. “See? Crap happens. We learn and lean on each other.”
Aiden sighed. He’d done a lot of leaning in a short period of time. Most guys might not appreciate his clinginess, then being pushed away. He couldn’t seem to make up his damn mind. What is happening to me? At the hospital, he knew what he wanted and how to do what was expected. Once he stepped out of the ER, he seemed to lose his mind. Was this how real love affected him? Making him second-guess his feelings? Why was he only confident at the hospital? Damn.
“I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be with right now.” Matt smiled and crossed his ankles. “No one else.”
Aiden stared at him. There were problems. He’d found faults in Matt—moving too fast, being a tad clingy and still holding on to his past. If Aiden went with his head, then walking out and putting some distance between them would be good. If he believed his heart, then he should run to Matt and throw his arms around him. He willed his feet to comply, but his limbs refused to cooperate. Well, fuck.
Chapter Nine
Matt gripped the edge of the countertop to keep his hands from shaking. Things had just gotten started with Aiden and already Aiden was tense. What else could he say to make Aiden understand? Sure, he had his issues, but he was there for Aiden. He wanted the doc to give him a chance and open up.
“What do you say, Doc Cedarwood?” Matt asked. He still wasn’t sure Aiden even liked the nickname he’d given him. But the name seemed so perfect. The people in Cedarwood went to Aiden when they arrived at the ER. He was the one who cared for them. Was Matt being selfish to want some of Aiden’s attention for himself?
“I say I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed.” Aiden crept across the expanse to him and threaded his arms around Matt’s waist. He rested his head on Matt’s good shoulder. “I’m in over my head. It sounds goofy, but until now, my life was pretty well ordered.”
“Aiden. When the hospital shouts, you run. That’s not exactly order. That’s controlled chaos.” He petted Aiden’s hair.
“But it’s my chaos. I knew what to expect. They call, I go in and do my job.” He splayed his hand over Matt’s heart. “Then came the night of the wedding. I hate weddings. Hate watching the pageantry of it. I doubt I’ll ever get married. But it brought us together.”
“It did.” He cupped Aiden’s face in both hands. “I don’t know how you do it. I bet you’re so strong and collected when you’re dealing with the relative pandemonium in the ER. I’m sure it seems so easy for you. Then you go out into the world beyond the hospital and that confidence melts. Babe, you’re a brilliant doctor and a handsome man.
I can feel you climbing into your own head to either hide or overthink this. Don’t. I’m not going anywhere.” Matt spotted the collage. He hadn’t thought about the images in the various connected frames, but the moment he looked over the faces, he understood Aiden’s shift in mood. Some of his reluctance probably had to do with the events of the day, but the rest no doubt revolved around Theo.
“I’ll be all right.” Aiden said the words, but he didn’t pull away.
“Uh-huh.” He couldn’t stop himself once the words started pouring out. “I’ve known Farin since I moved here ten years ago. He knows I don’t read all that much, but he’s always trying to get me to try some of the newest books. He conned me into reading digital books. Colt and I tried to join the chamber of commerce together and were both turned down. Him because the powers that be claimed he’d submitted the wrong paperwork. Me? Because I was gay and unashamed to admit it. I’ve known Ashley as long as he’s been with Colt. Nice guys, and they remind me I can be myself.”
“I get it.” Aiden’s voice cracked and he didn’t sound sure at all.
“Yeah, but I know who you keep looking at. I don’t blame you. The guy in those pictures, the one who looks like he stepped out of a fashion magazine, that’s Theo.” Matt steadied himself. Talking about Theo wasn’t fun, but he owed Aiden an explanation. “He looks hot and knows it.”
“Matt.” Aiden leaned back in Matt’s embrace. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Remember how you told me you kept trying to stay away from Lucky, but it took a lot longer to cut the final cord?” He curled his fingers under Aiden’s chin. “Theo was that way for me. He’s great to look at, but his attitude leaves a lot to be desired.”
Aiden stared at him but said nothing. The worry in his eyes spoke volumes. Is he looking for reasons to run?
“Theo was the type of guy who knew what to say to get what he wanted. He’d charm anyone if it meant getting ahead or getting head.” Matt let go of Aiden and eased onto the stool. “We met at a time when I thought I knew what I wanted.” Shit. He had to word this just right. If he spilled the beans about his addictions, he’d drive Aiden away in moments. But so much of his past with Theo had everything to do with his addiction. “Theo liked me because I had the right look—tough and rugged. I was his bad boy.”
