by Megan Slayer
“You’re shitting me. Him? He wasn’t beaten up.” Actually, he couldn’t be sure of Aiden or Lucky’s story, but the way Lucky carried himself, he wasn’t acting like a man who’d been assaulted.
“You don’t think so, either?”
“I don’t know what to think.” Matt toyed with the zipper on his overall pocket to keep his hands busy. “That guy didn’t fit the mold for someone who’s been assaulted, though.”
“Right. He didn’t.” Aiden snorted. “You of all people should know that molds are meant to be broken. People lie and cheat. People make mistakes. They have weaknesses and imperfections.”
Irrational anger filled his brain. He tried to keep himself in check, but the desire to unleash his frustration overwhelmed him. He didn’t believe Aiden was so naive as to think Lucky was telling the truth. He saw right through the charade. The reason Lucky had gone to the ER was to find Aiden. He knew a good thing when he saw one, and Aiden was… Matt had once thought he was good. Now he wasn’t so sure. “He lied to you.” He had no proof but a strong hunch. “He knows who left him and he’s desperate. He’ll get beaten up to get your attention.”
“You’ve lost your mind.” Aiden’s eyes widened. “I suspected him, but you’re going overboard.”
“I thought I had lost my mind, since you mentioned it. I’m crazy about you.” Matt stood tall. “Now I see I’m just crazy.” He needed to leave. The longer he stayed, the more he risked ruining any chance he might have with Aiden—if they could patch things up.
“You’re being overly dramatic,” Aiden replied. “You’re shouting at me for no reason. I’m on your side—even if I can’t help but look for the weaknesses.”
“Are you? I can see it in your eyes and tense body language. You were considering more than just a hug with old Lucky. You were tossing around the idea of him or me.” Matt’s head ached and his shoulder throbbed. “You wondered if maybe you’d made the wrong decision.”
“I had,” Aiden whispered.
“What?” He sure as shit had to have heard Aiden wrong.
“I did. I debated. I ran the walking track three circuits trying to figure this out. I’m a goddamn mess.” The blush on Aiden’s cheeks went down his throat to beneath his collar. His chest heaved. The vein in his forehead popped out. “I debated my past and my future. Did I want decent sex with a guy who’d use me? Even though I knew it would be wrong, was I willing to go that route? Was I looking for safe-ish and familiar? Or did I want to stay in this crazy rollercoaster situation I’ve got with a guy I’ve fallen for and am getting to know? Having great sex and being happy again—even though it’s not familiar and a little scary? That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. I’m scared there are weaknesses and shortcomings I’m not seeing. That’s how I am—I worry and look for the faults.”
“You’re scared of me?” He’d heard what Aiden said but couldn’t process it all. The part about fear stuck in his brain. “Aren’t you?” He should’ve known this would happen. The tattoos and piercings were too much for Aiden.
“I am scared of you right now. You’ve flipped. What happened with Lucky was a hug. It was me being weak. It was him wanting something that wasn’t available and me realizing what I wanted.” Aiden reached for Matt. “It was me getting the swift kick in the ass that I needed.”
“Right. You need a pretty boy who fits with your doctor persona.” He wasn’t sure where that had come from, but he’d showed his hand and had to play it out.
“Jesus Christ, Matt. You’re so hung up on how everyone looks. I know you’re insecure. I understand why and I even understand why you don’t trust me. It makes sense. The thing is, I didn’t run off with Lucky. I didn’t fuck him here in the parking lot or make you watch. I just told him I’m not interested. I’ve got a man—well, I thought I did.” Aiden shook his head. “I had one. Now it’s all messed up.”
Some of Matt’s fury melted. Shit. “Aiden.” He’d gone too far and pushed Aiden too much. Aiden had cut him to the marrow. He’d been right, even if Matt hadn’t wanted to admit the truth.
“Just don’t.” Aiden put both hands up. “I’m not the other guys. Yeah, I’m weak, but I know my heart. I trust you.” He backed away from Matt. “Right now, I don’t like you, but I’m in love with you. Hoo-fucking-ray.” He turned on his heel and walked straight to the hospital. He disappeared behind the sliding doors leading into the ER.
Matt didn’t bother to chase him. He could follow and should, but didn’t. He’d done too much damage for the moment and Aiden needed some space.
Deighan appeared beside him and held up a bag. “I had the feeling we’d want these to go.”
“Yeah.” He scrubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. “I’m sorry you saw that.”
“And heard it.” Deighan nudged Matt. “And I thought Aaron was the drama queen. He blubbers. You pitch a fit. Let’s go back to the shop.”
“Sorry.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I owe you for lunch. I’ll pay you back.” He walked in silence until they reached the road. “For being eighteen, you’re damn smart.”
“I’m observant,” Deighan said. “I’m not into dudes, but I see why you like Doc. He had a decision and stuck to it. He’s strong and can fix you up if you cut your arm off. That’s rad.”
“Rad?” He hadn’t heard someone use that word in ages.
“Yeah.” Deighan stuck one of the sandwiches into the refrigerator. “I assume you’ll want that later.”
“Thanks.” He wasn’t hungry and was too damn embarrassed to eat anything.
“He stood up to you, Doc did.” Deighan unwrapped his lunch on the counter and plunked onto the stool. “Aaron won’t. His version of defending himself is to bitch and throw a fit.”
“Aaron has his own issues.” He sank onto the stool behind the counter. “I agree, Aiden is tough. Me? Not so much. I was shot. I don’t like discussing that.” I’m ashamed I couldn’t protect myself.
Deighan shrugged. “A gun makes everyone tougher. Even if you can’t aim, you’ll most likely hit something and do damage.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re tough without a side piece—don’t forget that.”
“I feel like shit.” He couldn’t explain the ways he felt—embarrassed for losing his cool in front of Aiden, angry for allowing his emotions to get the better of him and for jumping to conclusions, frustrated that he’d screwed everything up with Aiden, and defeated.
“You look like shit too.” Deighan half smiled. “Don’t quit on Doc or yourself.” He polished off the sandwich, then wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I’m going to text Sierra. I’ll be right back.” He ducked into the break room, leaving Matt alone behind the counter.
Matt drummed his fingers on the plastic sheet protecting the brochures on the counter. If he called Aiden right now, he’d most likely get his voice mail. An apology text was the cowardly way to deal with the situation. Besides, Aiden was probably working and being super doctor. He wouldn’t get the message—vocal or text—right away anyway.
Matt groaned. Deighan was right. He’d overreacted, but he didn’t trust Lucky. He’d been in Lucky’s shoes—although not to such a degree—because he knew what it was like to be with Aiden. If there was a guy he wanted to keep around in his life, Aiden was the one. But what had he done? Shoved Aiden away.
What in the hell should I do? He couldn’t badger Aiden, but he also couldn’t focus. Shit. He brought up the text screen.
I’m sorry.
Matt hit Send before he second-guessed his decision.
I can explain too. When you’re available and we’ve cooled down, I want to talk.
The additional text probably rambled, but oh well.
The screen lit up with a reply from Aiden.
I am too.
If Aiden was sorry, then there was hope. He’d hold on to the hope that a second chance was possible.
Can we try again for food tonight? I’ll buy and grovel. How about the next day you’re off?
Mat
t sent the text and tapped his foot on the floor. The nervous energy would be the death of him.
Don’t need to grovel. You made your feelings clear.
He read and reread Aiden’s reply ten times before he figured out what he wanted to say in return. Shit.
No, I didn’t.
Another message arrived, almost before he’d sent the last one.
Just stop. Okay? I’m not in the mood.
Damn, damn, damn. He had to say something.
What happened besides Hurricane Matt? Is your dad okay?
He wanted an answer—any answer—but got nothing. Aiden must’ve been called away. Matt sighed. He’d earned the silence. He shoved his phone next to the register and out of the way. Aiden deserved better and time to process what had happened. Although he wanted to bombard Aiden with messages, he refrained. He’d try again later.
Giving Aiden space and time were the right courses of action, but why did doing so feel so wrong? Because he’d messed up and wanted to make things right.
Letting his anger get the best of him hadn’t been good. He’d probably lost Aiden because of his low self-esteem, outburst and the trust issues. God help him when Aiden learned about his past. Things were bad, but they could get a whole lot worse. He had to hope Aiden didn’t find out from the wrong source and would be willing to give him a chance to fix everything.
Like that would happen the way I want…
Chapter Eleven
For the next two days, Matt kept his phone with him and checked it religiously. No replies from Aiden. No texts, no visits, no voice mails… Nothing.
The emptiness in his heart and the loneliness damn near killed him. He ached, and not just from his shoulder. Aiden had broken his heart.
Deighan knew the truth, but if he’d told Aaron, Aaron didn’t seem to care. Or he hadn’t noticed Matt’s foul mood.
Aaron strode into the office. “Hey. We’re going down to Aces High. Want to come?” He grinned and wiggled his fingers. “You love clubbing. The dancing, the men… It might take your mind off your troubles.”
“It’s not my thing.” He liked his troubles, as Aaron called them. Well, no. He’d like to not have the problems in his life. He’d rather have Aiden there with him. Going to the club might be fun for half an hour, but it wouldn’t fix anything. “Deighan can’t go,” he said. “Too young, and you can’t get him in.” Someone had to be the voice of reason.
“He’s not going. He said something about a wrestling meet or match. I don’t know. He left over a half hour ago.” Aaron leaned against the door frame. “I meant, you and me go and meet up with Rex. You remember him.”
“Bald, all muscle and sounds like he gargles with lug nuts? I remember.” He wasn’t interested in Rex or attracted to him, but that hadn’t stopped Rex from trying.
“Yes.” Aaron’s smile widened. “So?”
“I’ll pass.”
“Are you sure? We’ll have fun.” Aaron patted the counter. “You always have a good time when we go out. Come with us.”
“I’ll be lousy company. Thanks, but no thanks.” He wanted to be alone. Just him and his business…a place to wallow in his own Matt-ness.
“Which is why you need to go out.” Aaron tugged Matt off the stool. “So you aren’t grumpy. You need people and music and noise.”
“I need a lot of things, but a crazy techno beat and throbbing bodies aren’t on the list.” He plopped back down. “Have fun. You deserve it.”
The bell over the door dinged, and when Matt looked over Aaron’s shoulder, Aiden strolled into the lobby. His heart skipped a beat. Aiden was there. He hadn’t expected to see Doc—not tonight or for a while.
“Lookie who crawled over,” Aaron snarled. “You’d be hotter if you weren’t such an asshole.” He laughed, then waved. “Hey, Matt, if you want another rim job, I’ll be at the house waiting.” He winked before he strolled out of the building.
Matt toyed with the tablet and wished he could’ve muted Aaron before he’d spoken. Things were messy between him and Aiden and Aaron only made it worse. Matt wasn’t sure how to proceed. “Hi.” He wanted to say more but didn’t.
“Hi.” Aiden stayed by the door. “Closing soon?”
“Yeah. I’ll keep my phone on in case someone needs a tow or there’s an emergency.” He fumbled for more words. “Are you off or just on a break?”
“I’m done for the night. I can’t go back for twelve hours.” Aiden didn’t come closer. He smiled, but the light didn’t reach his eyes.
Damn it. Things were too tense between them. What was he supposed to do? Blurting sounded good to him. “Aiden, I’m sorry. You were right. I let my issues get in the way of what we have.”
“Apology not needed,” Aiden said. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes. “Really, it’s not.”
“Sure it is. I laid into you in public. I acted like a fool in front of the entire world and my employee. God only knows who at the hospital saw us. That’s irresponsible.” He rounded the counter. “Doc, I’m sorry. I am hung up on appearance. You’re right. My tats are a shield. If people think I’m tough, then they won’t try to get close. If they stay away, I stay safe. It’s a sucky way to live.”
“You do what you have to in order to survive.” Aiden leaned on the door frame and folded his arms. “You were right about Lucky. He made the story up.”
He hadn’t wanted to be correct on that account. His heart ached. “Aiden.”
“It’s okay. I knew he was bad news. Has been the last however many times we tried to work it out. This one was no different. I reported the incident, then did some checking. The Ethan he’s talking about doesn’t exist. He’s seeing a man named Chuck and was engaged. A mutual friend informed me that Chuck is a great man and a tax accountant. He owns a house. He’s almost forty, but he looks younger. He’s never laid a hand on Lucky.” Aiden shook his head. “Lucky proved that he’s not changed, even though he says so, and that he just wanted a quick fuck. I don’t even understand. He has a man—probably a handsome one, but I wouldn’t know since I’ve never seen Chuck—who will have sex with him. Why did he need me?”
“You had something together. He wasn’t ready to let go.” God knew he wasn’t ready to give things up with Aiden.
“He wanted a quickie.” Aiden met his gaze. “Cheap and easy.”
“Did you?” He shouldn’t have asked the question but couldn’t help himself.
“What?”
“Fuck him?” Matt asked.
“No. He even told me he’d take care of me. Lies. I should’ve known. The only person he wants to pamper is himself. He was probably going to use Chuck’s money to make me feel important.” His brow crinkled and his shoulders sagged. “Matt.”
Matt wound his fingers around Aiden’s wrist and tugged him away from the door. “Come here.” He clicked the lock into place, turned the sign around then headed for the office. “We can go in here.” He ushered Aiden into the back room.
“You don’t have to be nice to me. I was an asshole to you back in the parking lot.” Aiden tensed in Matt’s grasp.
“Stop it.” He curled his fingers under Aiden’s chin. “You said so yourself. Lucky was familiar territory. I’m new. He’s predictable. I’m a wild card. The things you pointed out about my hang-ups were right too. We both said a lot of shit we shouldn’t have, but now that it’s out, I feel better.”
“You deserve better than me. I can’t seem to make up my mind,” Aiden said. “I think I know who I want then I change my mind.”
“Nah. I’m pretty damn lucky I’ve got you around. So you’re confused.” He threaded his arms around Aiden. “I’m not. We had a fight. Big deal. Christ. It could’ve been a worse argument. Yes, I lost my cool in public and it was stupid, but people fight. They have issues. I’m still overcoming my past.” He crowded Aiden against the desk. “I’m not quitting on you that easily.”
“You should,” Aiden whispered.
“Nah. I like you too much.” He cupped Ai
den’s face in both hands. “Touching you, being with you, listening to the sounds you make when you sleep… The way you look at me and aren’t afraid. I don’t want to lose what we have.”
A tear slipped down Aiden’s cheek. “You’re determined to get me to fall harder for you, aren’t you?”
“Is it working?” He wriggled his eyebrows. “Yeah, I am.”
“You’re doing a great job.” Aiden sagged against Matt. “I’m sorry.”
“How do we move forward from this?”
“No idea. Usually when I have a fight with a guy, one of us leaves and that’s the end.” Aiden half shrugged. “Normally, I’m the one left behind.”
“How about neither of us is left and we both play with behinds?” He kissed Aiden hard on the mouth. “My place? Make-up sex? A little dinner, more sex and just being together?”
Aiden finally smiled, and the sparkle returned to his eyes. “If you put things that way…how can I resist?”
“You can’t.” He kissed Aiden again. “Let me get my stuff and we’ll go.”
“I should retrieve my car.” Aiden didn’t pull away. “I don’t want to leave it in the lot when I’m not there.”
“Of course. I’ll follow you.” He let go of Aiden long enough to stuff his wallet into his back pocket, his phone into the breast pocket of his overalls and to snatch his keys from the desk. He set the main alarm and checked the video feed to the security system. Once satisfied everything was fine, he followed Aiden into the lobby and picked up the tablet. “All I need to do is lock the lot fence, then we can go. I’ll drive you to your car.”
“You’re too good for words.” Aiden twined his fingers with Matt’s. “But I’m glad you’re mine.”
“I’m just me. Thickheaded, oddball, but what you see is what you get.” Matt tugged the front door of the shop closed and engaged the lock. He set the security code through his phone, then strode over to the newly installed keypad and locking mechanism on the gate. Once satisfied his business was secure, Matt glanced back at Aiden. He shrugged. “Probably overkill, but after the shooting, I’m taking nothing for granted.” He swatted Aiden’s ass. “Ready?”
