by Megan Slayer
When Matt curled forward over him, Aiden embraced him. “Pretty boy.”
He rested his forehead on Aiden’s. He wanted to speak, but the words didn’t come. The weight of the moment hit him hard, though. He hadn’t just fallen for Aiden. He loved the man down to his soul. He could see forever in Aiden’s eyes.
Aiden laced his hands together around Matt’s neck. “You’ll hurt yourself if you don’t get up. Now, I’ll take care of you, but as your physician, I encourage you to take the stress off your arm.”
He laughed. Of all the times for Aiden to be in the role of doctor but not… “Of course, Doc Cedarwood.” He kissed Aiden. He’d never get enough of his lover. Aiden owned his soul. He eased his dick from Aiden’s ass and missed his warmth immediately. When he stood, he wobbled.
“Are you okay?” Aiden sat up. He’d been in the post-orgasm glow moments before, but now focus filled his eyes. “I was joking about being mean. If you need…”
Matt placed his un-lubed finger over Aiden’s lips. “I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“Don’t tell me your knees aren’t a little weak after sex.” Matt removed the condom and headed into the bathroom to throw the rubber away. He retrieved a towel. “You do that to me.” He strode back into the bedroom. “I’d like to think I do that to you too.”
“Oh, well…when you’re this awesome, those kinds of things happen.” Aiden laughed. “I’m even trying to sound confident and it doesn’t work.”
“You sounded fine.” He wiped the dried cum from Aiden’s belly, then his ass. “I like your humble side.”
“It’s easier than trying to remember something cocky.” Aiden stopped Matt’s hands and pulled Matt onto his lap. “I’m not going to be the most perfect boyfriend. I don’t know how, but I do know how to have a stable relationship. Dad and Keye were a great example for me. We can do this.”
“I know.” He tossed the towel onto the floor. “I don’t want perfect. A little jealousy isn’t bad—at least I know you care. As for arguments…they’ll happen. We’ll get through them and fuck like crazy afterward. Right?”
Aiden nodded.
It was time to pour out his heart. He drew in a long breath and exhaled. “I don’t want you to be perfect. Just be my Doc Cedarwood. If you get a little too doctor preachy, I’ll adjust. I like you—your weird edges, your lack of ink and all.” He paused. “I could see putting your name on my body. I’ve never done that for anyone else.”
“Matt.” Aiden’s eyes widened and his lips parted.
“Call it one final tat.” He cupped Aiden’s jaw. “I don’t need to hide from the pain when I have someone to help me deal.”
“I will, but you need to be sure.” Aiden’s voice came out low and fire lit in his eyes. “What if I let you down?”
Matt wasn’t sure what else to say. He’d offered up his heart and Aiden held it in his hands, but Aiden wasn’t acting as confident as he’d expected. “Stay. I want you beside me when I sleep.” He left Aiden’s lap and yanked the blankets free. “Please?”
“I can’t go. I don’t have wheels. Remember?” Aiden crawled between the sheets, and when Matt stretched out beside him, he snuggled up to him. “I’m assuming you forgetting to take me to the car is payback for me driving you around and being pushy.”
“Nah.” He turned off the light. “That was all overenthusiasm on my part. You can drive me around whenever you want, and in the morning, we’ll get your car.” He held Aiden against his chest and closed his eyes. Everything felt right—even the argument. Life was finally balanced and healthy. He wished he hadn’t needed to look for so long to find Aiden, but his Doc was definitely worth the wait. Now he’d never let go.
Chapter Twelve
Aiden stared at himself in the mirror. In the last week, he and Matt had shared so many experiences. When they weren’t at work, they spent time together. He cooked for Matt at his townhome and helped Matt pick out additional furniture. Despite their wacky schedules, he loved how they managed to make the relationship work. He finished shaving and rinsed the razor. Being with Matt made him happy, like they were meant to be together. Things could still go sideways, but he wasn’t looking for every potential problem.
“Are you about ready?” Matt stood in the bathroom doorway. “I haven’t been to Rods in forever.”
“I’ve never been there.” He toweled his face off and drained the sink. Part of him wanted to visit the club, but the rest of him wasn’t sure. Loud noises and crowds weren’t his idea of fun.
“You should like it.” Matt snagged Aiden in his arms. “Besides, I’m sticking to you like glue. I’m not sharing.”
“Really?” He appreciated Matt’s possessive streak.
“Uh-huh.” Matt patted Aiden’s ass. “Let’s go.”
Aiden shrugged into the tight T-shirt, then followed Matt through the living room. “You’re driving?”
“Thought I would since I can.” Matt twirled his keys around his fingers. “You don’t mind, right?”
“Nope.” He stepped into his boots. “It’s nice to let someone take control for a change.”
“So that’s why you love to bottom for me.” Matt grinned. “Here I thought you were worried about my injury.”
“That’s the biggest reason.” He went outside and locked up, then fell into step behind Matt as he walked over to the car. “I don’t want you to get hurt just so we can have sex.”
“You’re a smart man.” Matt held the door for Aiden and closed it once Aiden eased onto the passenger seat. He rounded the trunk and climbed behind the wheel. Matt said nothing as he drove across town to the club, but he did hold Aiden’s hand.
Aiden closed his eyes and listened to the music on the radio. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone out to a club. But he’d be with Matt, so he’d be fine.
The car stopped and Aiden opened his eyes. “We’re here.”
“Yeah. I thought you were sleeping.” Matt parked. “I’m that boring, huh?”
“Nope. Just listening to the radio.” He left the vehicle. Bright blue light shone down onto the parking lot from the neon RODS sign. “Are you sure about this?” He hated to admit having second thoughts, but the worries wouldn’t go away.
“I’m positive. We need to go more public. I want everyone to know you’re mine.” Matt draped his arm around Aiden’s shoulders. “It’ll be cool.” He pressed the fob on his keys and nudged Aiden forward. “You’ll have fun.”
“Sure.” He ventured into the club with Matt and recoiled at the throbbing music. Holy shit , the bass thundered. He clung to Matt’s side.
“I’m getting a water. You want anything?” Matt asked.
“Same.” Aiden folded his arms and waited by one of the thick columns near the dance floor. He surveyed the crowd. How many of these people have visited the emergency room? Did I work on any of them?
Moments later, Matt returned with two bottles. “Here you go.” He downed half of the water in one gulp. “I forgot how hot it gets in here.”
“Yeah.” He polished off some of the water. “It’s nice to be out with someone who doesn’t want to get drunk—or are you planning on doing that later?”
“I don’t drink.” Matt tucked his bottle in his front pocket. “Want to dance?”
“Sure.” He finished the water and left the empty bottle on the closest tray. Although he wanted to hide in the shadows, Aiden allowed Matt to tug him into the throng of people. He didn’t know the music and wasn’t up on the current songs, but he did his best to not look silly as he danced. Once the tune switched to something slower, he curled his arms around Matt. He could move to this.
“Hot.” Matt nipped Aiden’s earlobe. “Sexy.” He ground his crotch into Aiden’s, making sure Aiden felt his erection straining against the denim.
Aiden groaned. He wanted to go—not because he hated the club but because he wanted to fuck.
“Shit.” Matt held Aiden tight. “What the hell?”
�
��What? I’m horny. Can’t you tell?”
“I can.” Matt leaned back in Aiden’s arms. “My ex is here.”
“So?” Aiden shrugged. He trusted Matt. He continued to dance but realized Matt wasn’t moving. “Ignore him.”
“I’d love to, but he’s coming over.” Matt tensed. “Why now?”
“Don’t know.” Aiden noticed someone out of the corner of his eye. He looked in the direction of the person and bit back a groan. Go figure. Lucky’s here too. Jesus. Should he introduce Matt and get it over with? He’d wanted to when they’d run into each other at the parking lot but had never gotten the chance. Was tonight the night? Or should he just keep his mouth shut? He sighed. Keeping his mouth shut sounded like the best option.
“Here he comes.” Matt kept his arm around Aiden and squeezed Aiden’s side. “Damn it.”
“Why don’t I go to the bathroom? I need to and you can talk to him in private?” Aiden wriggled free from Matt. “It’ll be cool.”
“You’re taking it well.” Matt narrowed his eyes. “I like it.”
“Thought you might.” He winked and wandered around the crowd to the red neon sign advertising the restrooms. He wandered into the room, then stepped up to the urinals. Another man joined him, but he finished before he could get a good look at the guy.
Aiden left the bathroom but ran into a solid wall of muscle. “Ooof!” He pushed away from the person he’d collided with and his eyes widened. “Sorry.”
“No need.” The man gave him a wolfish grin. “You must be Aiden.”
“I am. You are?” He knew but wanted the man to introduce himself.
“Theo. I was with Matt before you.” Theo nudged Aiden into a corner near the bathroom. “Did he tell you?”
“About the two of you? He mentioned you.” Aiden held his ground. He wasn’t about to argue with Theo.
“Right. Then he didn’t.” He nudged Aiden out of one of the doors to the smokers’ lounge outside.
The chill wrapped around Aiden and the scent of the cigarettes choked him. He wasn’t used to the scent and had never picked up the habit. Being in the clouds of smoke churned his stomach. He coughed and turned away.
“You’re taking it well,” Theo said. He folded his arms and cocked his hip. “Better than I would’ve thought.”
“Him having an ex? Sure. We all have those, so there’s nothing to take wrong.” He wasn’t about to back down. People had pasts and Matt wasn’t any different.
“Right. Then he didn’t tell you.”
Good God. “Tell me what? Your half sentences and riddles make no sense.” Aiden sighed. “Just spit it out.”
“About his past,” Theo said. “He hasn’t talked about it. If he had, then you probably wouldn’t be here.”
“I know about the tattoos and piercings. They’re not an issue.” Aiden shifted his weight from his left foot to his right.
“You’re a doctor, right? Did he mention his pain fetish?” Theo asked.
“Yes. It’s been discussed and, again, not an issue.”
“Uh-huh. He also used something else to deal with his pain. Did he tell you he had an addiction to pain pills? Has he asked you for some since the shooting? You do know he dated a doctor in order to get pills from him too? The relationship lasted a week, but he found another source.” Theo notched his chin in the air. “Yeah, bet you knew none of that.”
He didn’t, but didn’t think Theo had the right to talk about any of it. Part of him was angry he’d been kept in the dark. The rest of him was let down. Why would he keep that a secret? Shame? Did he think Aiden would leave him?
“He’ll probably demand you become his new supplier. He’s very persuasive. Don’t say you didn’t know. Everyone does.” Theo’s grin widened.
Supplier? Good Lord. Matt wasn’t that way. Matt wasn’t a user. “Sure, I did. So?” He’d lied through his teeth. He wanted the facts from Matt before he rushed to judgment.
“Then are you okay with being with a guy who fakes injuries to get pills?” Theo asked. “Please. No one is that gullible.”
Aiden bit his tongue to keep from snapping at Theo. He didn’t know what to do or say. Theo had to be lying. Had to be.
“He’ll use you like he’s used everyone else.” Theo rested his hand on Aiden’s shoulder. “Don’t believe me? Ask him. I need to go. My date looks lonely and my cousin looks just as sad.” He darted away from Aiden, leaving him alone by the bathroom.
Aiden leaned against the wall. His brain buzzed with the new information. Shocked and stunned were the tip of the iceberg. What the hell? Matt seemed rough around the edges, but he was also almost too good to be true. He can’t be an addict or former addict, right? But could Aiden honestly trust Theo? After all, Theo could be making the whole thing up. Matt hadn’t begged him for pills. No, he’d refused them. That didn’t mean he wasn’t taking anything, but still.
“There you are.” Matt laughed. “Damn, it’s thick out here. I haven’t had a cigarette in years. I remember now why I quit, though. The smoke stinks.” He swept his gaze over Aiden. “What’s wrong? Do you want to go?”
“I do.” He couldn’t quite meet Matt’s gaze.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
Matt paused. “No, you’re not. Fine is an avoidance answer.” He curled his fingers under Aiden’s chin. “Talk to me.”
“Are you using me?” he blurted.
“What? Where’d that come from?” Matt’s eyes widened. “Aiden?”
“Tell me.” Aiden stood tall. “Please? Are you?”
“No.”
“Not for drugs? Pain pills, maybe?”
“What makes you think that?” Matt shook his head. “I’ve never done anything to you to make you believe any of that.”
Matt had a point. He hadn’t stolen the script pads—not that he had any of them lying around—and he had no real proof, but still. He felt like he’d missed something.
“I’m serious, Aiden. What has gotten into you? Why did you bring up the pills thing?” Matt asked.
Aiden shook his head. “I want out. I’ve been used enough.” He darted into the club and through the people to the main doors. Time to go. He strode out to the parking lot. Embarrassment washed over him. He should’ve known something like this would happen. Things were going too well.
“Aiden.” Matt caught up to him by his car. “Hey. You can’t go. I drove. Let me take you home.”
“I’ll call a taxi or that ride service. I don’t care.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and inputted the info on the app. “The driver will be here in five minutes.”
“Enough,” Matt thundered. “What is the matter with you?”
“I was told about your addiction,” he snapped. “Now lower your voice.”
“Theo.” Matt glared at Aiden. “Of course. That asshole couldn’t keep a secret if I paid him.”
“So it needed to stay a secret?” Aiden waved his hands. “Whatever. Yeah, he told me. The question is, why didn’t you?”
“I needed the right time.”
“When was that?”
“I don’t know.” Matt paused. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me to.”
Matt’s shoulders sagged. He lowered his voice. “I was addicted to pain pills. I did stuff I’m not proud of, but I beat it. I did the rehab and got my life in order. I did my time. Whatever Theo said…he probably made it all up.”
“Right. I’m a doctor. I deserve to know if the guy I’m involved with is going to steal my scripts to get drugs.” He’d been too harsh. He had no proof and he’d gone off, but still.
“Have I?”
“Not that I know of.”
“You don’t trust me.”
“It’s kind of hard. I’ve told you everything—Lucky, my reluctance with guys, my being used and broke. Nothing held back. But you? That’s pretty big. I’m not sure what to believe.” Aiden’s heart sank. “I’m lost.”
“How about you believe me?
Yes, the temptation is there. It’s always there, but my being clean and sober is more important. You are more important.” Matt reached for him. “That’s the honest-iest honest I’ve got.”
“I don’t know what to think.” Aiden’s skin itched and his stomach churned. He needed space. He hadn’t anticipated this problem. Matt was pretty darn great, but he wasn’t perfect.
“Aiden.”
“I need a lot of trust. Okay? You didn’t think enough of me to be honest to begin with.” He paced beside Matt’s car. “I would’ve understood. I’d have been more cautious, sure, but I know people overcome addiction. They do it all the time. Keye kicked meth. It’s possible.” He bowed his head. “But I need time.” I need to know I can handle this.
“You do? My fucking ex spilled my secret,” Matt snapped. “Good God.”
“Then we both do. Look, there’s my ride. I’m leaving. I’ll get my car later.” He wandered away. He shouldn’t go but couldn’t stay. His heart ached. What Matt had held back wasn’t a horrible secret—especially if he’d overcome it—but he still felt betrayed. It was like he’d been told once more that he wasn’t good enough. He settled in the back seat of the car and spoke to the driver. “I need to go to the Briar Estates.”
“You got it,” the driver replied.
Aiden hated retreating, but he couldn’t be around Matt right now. He couldn’t be rejected again. He hadn’t seen the weaknesses or found all the faults—except in himself. He’d fallen hard for the wrong man.
Matt watched Aiden leave. He should’ve argued and begged. But why? Aiden was gone. He’d made up his mind.
He didn’t blame Aiden. Not really. If Matt had relapsed and lost his mind then he’d have put Aiden at risk. He refused to jeopardize Aiden’s career.
But that was just it—he didn’t want to relapse. He liked his life and being clean and sober. He had his own business, steady-ish work and a great man. Okay, he wasn’t sure Aiden was still his, but that didn’t make him anything less than a good man.
He tensed when he heard footsteps crunching on the gravel. Fuck. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right then.
