by Megan Slayer
Matt’s blood ran cold and he gripped Aiden. If he wasn’t careful, he’d really hurt him. “Holy fucking balls.”
Aiden shivered and buried his face against Matt’s neck.
Jordan rubbed Aiden’s shoulders. “I’m sorry. Really.”
“Thanks.” Matt kissed Aiden’s temple. Holy shit, they’d been through so much. “I want to take Aiden home.”
“Sure, I’ll have them released. I’ll give you a ride to your place?” Jordan nodded once, then held up his hand. “Or where?”
“The hospital to get Aiden’s car, then my place. Long story.” Matt debated not telling the truth but did anyway. He didn’t want to look like he’d held anything back.
“Okay,” Jordan said. “Give me a few minutes.” He strode away, leaving Aiden and Matt in silence.
“We’re going home,” Matt declared. Yeah, home to a warm shower and time together in bed. They didn’t have to fuck. He mostly wanted to hold Aiden to prove they were okay and the danger was gone.
“Where?” Aiden asked. “Mine’s in splinters. Yours is yours.”
“Babe.” He cupped Aiden’s jaw. “The house is mine, but I’m sharing. If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that nothing is guaranteed. I love you and I’m not willing to let you go. I want to protect you, love you and everything else. You’re a strong man, but I want to be strong together. I want to be your support.”
“Matt.” Aiden didn’t seem convinced.
He’d have to work harder to explain. Fine. He didn’t care. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Between me kicking my addictions, coming back after the shooting, your father’s health issues and now this, I don’t want to waste another minute. Live with me.” He rested his forehead against Aiden’s and enfolded Aiden in his arms. “I see the wheels turning in your mind. You’re scared. I am too, but we can do this. It’s right.”
“But Theo is dead and Lucky’s all messed up…because of us,” Aiden whispered. “He might as well be dead too.”
“Don’t think like that.” He caressed the hairs at the base of Aiden’s skull. “What happened would’ve happened with or without us. Those two had the idea already. Theo could be dangerous. He liked guns and threatening people. If it wasn’t us, then someone else would’ve been the reason. You did nothing wrong. I’m sure.”
Aiden sobbed against Matt’s shoulder again. He shivered and clutched Matt’s shirt.
Matt held him and wished he could take Aiden’s hurt away. They’d been through so much, but none of the past mattered. As long as he had his Doc, he’d be fine and Matt would be the support Aiden needed.
“I’ll give you a ride. Here are your phones and keys.” Jordan stopped beside Matt. “I’m so sorry.” When Aiden turned around but stayed in Matt’s arms, Jordan continued. He spoke to Aiden. “Your home will be secured once it’s processed.”
“Thanks.” Aiden sighed. He wiped his cheeks. “I appreciate it.”
“Yes, thank you.” Matt kept Aiden beside him. “Let’s go home.”
Aiden nodded.
Matt wasn’t reassured by Aiden’s responses, but he wasn’t about to tell him otherwise. With a little separation from the scene, Aiden could understand. No matter what, Matt would be beside him so they could heal together.
* * * *
Forty minutes later, Aiden stepped into the bedroom and collapsed naked onto Matt’s bed. He had too much to figure out. Holy shit. His brain hurt. His townhome, one of the few things he’d put money into, was in shambles. Lucky, the man he’d once thought he’d loved was in the hospital, dealing with gunshot wounds. He knew the truth—Lucky hadn’t loved anyone but himself. He suffered from misplaced devotion and other issues Aiden didn’t understand.
He couldn’t comprehend what had gone wrong between Matt and Theo, but Theo was gone. The guy had seemed to delight in causing problems, but trying to kill people? Jesus.
Then there was Matt. Matt loved him and wanted him to live at his house. He should be thankful and thrilled. Part of him was, but the rest of him was scared. He hadn’t wrapped his head around anything that had happened in the last few hours, but he knew he held Matt’s heart in his hands. Until a few hours ago, he’d had the perfect life with Matt. Now? Things were…messy.
He sighed. He’d called his father and reassured Len he was fine. Everyone at the hospital had been told about the incident and the phone had dinged so many times it was nearly dead. He turned the ringer off. Yes, his friends wanted to check on him, but he needed silence and time to decompress.
“Hey.” Matt stretched out beside him. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m alive.” He faced Matt. “That’s something.” Hell, it was everything.
“It is.”
Aiden grasped Matt’s hand. “I’m scared.” He wasn’t sure he’d be able to vocalize his feelings, but Matt made confessing easier.
“About?”
“I’ve always faced stuff head-on. Give me a problem, and I’ll find a solution.” Aiden sucked in a ragged breath, then exhaled. “I can’t fix this. I can’t go back and save them or talk them out of what happened.”
“I don’t think anything or anyone could’ve convinced them to take another path.” Matt scooted closer and draped his arm across Aiden’s hip. His flaccid cock brushed against Aiden’s, sending a quick shimmer of heat through Aiden’s body. Matt bumped noses with Aiden. “What you can do is learn from the situation. Don’t take people for granted. Don’t expect to get your way. Speak the words in your heart and love without thinking.”
He sounded like a greeting card or motivational poster, but Aiden didn’t mind. “You still love me? Even though I come with baggage?”
“Of course.”
No hesitation on Matt’s part.
“Even after everything?” He had to be sure.
“An argument and stress is nothing. As for baggage, I’m packing my own and it’s not small, either. The thing with…Theo and Lucky wasn’t your fault or yours to control.” Matt flattened his palm on Aiden’s hip. “I love you more than anything. No regrets. I’m here for you. You make me a better man and I can’t see the future without you in it.”
Aiden stared at him. Everything Matt said made sense and he’d waited so long to hear those words, but he still wasn’t sure he could believe his ears. “It’s going to take some time to get beyond this.”
“I’d imagine so. I haven’t wrapped my head around what happened, either. Christ, I still don’t believe it and I was there,” Matt said. “But it’s over. No one will hurt you. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that.” He knew better. Matt couldn’t be everywhere he was and stand guard all the time. But he appreciated the sentiment in Matt’s words. “If you’re where I am, then you’ll never get your work done.” He slid his hand along Matt’s chest. “But I love knowing I’m not alone and you’ve got my back. You’re very special to me.”
“I love you.” Matt kissed him and draped the blankets over their bodies. “So much.”
For the first time since the shooting, he felt normal. Aiden wiggled tight to Matt’s chest. “Do you still mean what you said about me living here?” He couldn’t see any reason they shouldn’t be together. They’d been through the fire in so many ways. If Matt could stand beside him this long, then they could go the distance.
“I do.”
Then there was no point in arguing against fate. “Then I’m all yours. I love you, Matt Phillips.”
“Love you, Doc Cedarwood.”
Aiden closed his eyes. Life wasn’t guaranteed. Things could change tomorrow, but he had right now with Matt. They shared a love he’d never thought was possible but had always wanted. He’d embrace everything coming their way and keep moving forward because he had Matt beside him. It wasn’t how he’d envisioned the day starting, but it was a good way to continue.
Chapter Fourteen
Six weeks later
Matt shrugged into the long-sleeved shirt and checked his loo
k in the rearview mirror. He needed a haircut. The spikes were longer than he preferred and brushed against the roof of the vehicle. He wasn’t thrilled with the style, but Aiden said it was hot, so he’d leave it alone. Three or four silver strands shimmered in among the black. Well, fuck. He hoped Aiden wasn’t against being with a salt-and-pepper man.
He turned his attention to the community center. Not long ago, he’d gone there on his and Aiden’s unofficial first date. He’d been so unsure back then and worried. Now? He and Aiden were very much together and the uncertainty had evaporated. The weeks after the shooting and closing of the robbery case had helped him and Aiden heal. He thanked God they’d gone through all of it together.
Before, he would’ve dealt with his anger and frustration over the situation by getting yet another tattoo or having something else pierced. The urge to do so wasn’t as strong. It overcame him from time to time, but he had Aiden there. Sure, Aiden still worked long hours, but he’d scaled back a bit. He also made sure the hours he spent with Matt were quality. They argued every so often and had moments when they didn’t like each other much, but the love never left. When he looked into Aiden’s eyes, he saw and felt love—something he’d never felt so deeply before.
He shifted in his seat and tugged the keys from the ignition. The pre-Christmas party should’ve started by now. Aiden had said he’d be late since his shift wasn’t over until five-thirty. Matt hoped Aiden would show up in his scrubs. Aiden looked so cute in the awful green garb and sweet when he apologized for things he couldn’t control.
Matt left the car and pressed the fob to engage the locks. He shut the door and, when he turned around, Colt was waiting in front of the community center.
“You made it,” Colt said. “And mostly on time.”
“I try.” He stuffed his keys into his pants pocket and ambled up to Colt. “I’m glad you’re here. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“It’s been busy. Speaking of seeing, I haven’t seen you in forever, either. I have been so worried.” Colt offered his hand. “In all seriousness, how are you? Ashley asked me about you the other day. You look good. There’s color in your cheeks and you’ve got that irritating tan going on. I’ve always been jealous of your ability to have a tan in the winter. Have you been working out?”
“I’m running again.” Good Lord. He shook hands with his friend. Does Colt have a hundred questions or what? Matt shook his head. At least he could keep up. “Aiden and I run out at the metro park. We’ve met up with Bobby, Remy and the kids a few times. His boy looks good on the track. Is he winning at the cross-country meets?”
“Chris? Yeah, he made it to state this year.” Colt tipped his head. “You dodged my unspoken question. Are you still clean? Sober?”
“I’m not using and I haven’t had a drink in years. I did visit Bix at Tattooz, but not for the reason you think. I’m in a good place. Aiden makes me happy.” He beamed. “We moved in together. It happened a tad quicker than we’d planned, but it was out of necessity. I’m glad. Having him at the house has been great in so many ways. He balances me out.”
“I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d pull yourself up.”
“No?” He wouldn’t hide his mild irritation. Colt hadn’t believed in him as much as he’d thought? What an ass.
“You were low and after Theo’s… I just wasn’t sure you’d come back from it.” Colt folded his arms and widened his stance. “Some people wouldn’t have.”
“I’ve got a good reason to be where I am.” He chuckled. He understood Colt’s line of reasoning and couldn’t blame him for it. “I probably wouldn’t be in the depths of addiction without Aiden, but he helps. Like I said. He’s my balance. We’ve even discussed getting a dog. There’s this adorable mixed breed down at the shelter. We’re supposed to go down there tomorrow to check him out, but I know we’re taking him home.”
“I believe it.” Colt laughed and the sound bounced off the façade of the center. “Congrats. You’re still evolving, but you’ve made tons of progress. Great job.”
“Thanks.” Matt shook his head. Colt had such a unique way of giving compliments. He hadn’t thought Colt would be proud of him…not ever. Colt never showed his pride. He only displayed irritation. “Why were you so angry with me? No matter how many steps forward I took, you always seemed to disapprove.”
Colt crooked his eyebrow. He didn’t speak.
So he’d been right. No matter what, Colt wasn’t thrilled with him. “Okay. Never mind.” One of these days he’d measure up.
“Tough love.” Colt sighed. “I knew you had it in you to pull yourself up, but I wasn’t sure you’d do it. I figured if I kept on your ass, you’d either crack and start using again or follow through with your sobriety.”
“Right, because riding my ass worked so well.” He had to hand it to Colt for sticking with him, though. “But why weren’t you available more often? You’d ghost me.” Talk about annoying. He’d need his sponsor and Colt would be harder than hell to find.
“Not by choice, but I’m still sorry for it. Life got in the way. The incident with the Coalition, meeting Ash and starting a life with him and Wyatt… I fell down on the job. I’m a horrible sponsor, but I never didn’t think about you.”
“You did the best you could with what you had.” He understood that saying so well now. What was someone’s best was considered another man’s subpar performance. Everyone had to be measured on their own merit. “If you’d been on me every day, I probably would’ve started drinking to escape. My coping mechanisms weren’t always the greatest.”
“I believe it. When I’m hardcore…I’m rough,” Colt said.
“But you care. I appreciate it. Thank you.” He clapped Colt’s shoulder. “We should go in. If Aiden made it, he’ll wonder where I’m at.”
“He knows. I told him I wanted to talk to you.” Colt relaxed a little and unfolded his arms. “I owe you a couple of coins. You earned them. You’re up to, what…three years sober?”
“I am, but I’m not worried about the coins or getting to meetings right now. I know I can stay clean.” He had once needed the sobriety coins to remind himself of what he’d accomplished. Now? He could live without them. He knew the road he’d been on and how he wanted to conduct himself.
“Fair enough.” Colt nodded to the doors. “Let’s go in.”
“Good job stalling.” Matt twisted the knob. If Colt wanted to speak with him and chattered for so long, then there must be something else going on. “What’s the surprise?”
“Wow. Gee. I’m not that shady,” Colt said. “I don’t lie well.”
“Uh-huh. I remember the surprise wedding in your backyard. You telegraphed pretty much everything. The only one who didn’t know was Ashley.” He went into the community center first. He’d thought he was the one with the surprise… The farther into the room he ventured, the more he realized there wasn’t a shock involved. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary for a Christmas party.
Colored lights had been strung across the drop ceiling. Ropes of tinsel were draped around the door frames. Foot-tall Christmas trees decorated each of the round tables and a gigantic inflatable Santa stood in the corner of the main room. Boxes had been heaped under a lopsided Christmas tree next to Santa. Kids sat happily eating at the tables and some of the adults milled about. Aiden stood with Colin and Jordan by the serving tables. He still wore his green scrubs. When Aiden glanced back in Matt’s direction, Matt noticed the dark circles under Aiden’s eyes. The poor guy looked tired, but Matt didn’t care. To him, Aiden was sexy as fuck. He’d just seen Aiden that morning before they’d left for their respective jobs, but still.
He rushed across the room to Aiden. When he reached his lover, he wound his arms around Aiden from behind.
“Hi, you.” Aiden tipped his head back and rested it against Matt’s shoulder. “I thought you’d gotten lost.”
“Nah, I was just held up.” The moment he’d said the words, he realized how wrong he’d sounded.
“What?” Aiden whipped around. His eyes widened. “What happened?”
“Matt?” Jordan stared at him. “I haven’t heard anything.”
“I…I meant I was talking to Colt. He stalled me.” He tapped Aiden’s jaw, causing him to close his mouth. “Have you eaten?”
“No.” Aiden sighed. “You had me worried.”
“I know and I’m sorry.” He grasped Aiden’s hand. Part of him wanted to spill his surprise now, but the rest of him decided to wait until the right time. He turned his attention to Jordan and Colin. “Sorry. Word choice isn’t my forte.”
“Hey, we all mess up.” Colin put both hands up. “Excuse me. I need to peel Gage away from the girls. That boy will be the death of me.”
Jordan snorted. “Yes, because you weren’t hormonal at thirteen or anything.” He rolled his eyes then followed Colin as he walked away.
Matt chuckled again. That was what he’d wanted from the start—a love like Jordan and Colin shared. Give and take. Push and pull, but always coming together at the end because love won out. He had such a thing with Aiden and he regretted nothing.
“I’m whipped. We had two car accidents, three kids from the school. Each one had fallen off the jungle gym. I’ve sewn up three chins today.” Aiden rubbed his forehead. “One poor kid busted his front teeth too.”
Matt rubbed the top of Aiden’s hand with his thumb. “Sounds rough. Why don’t we find a table? So you can get off your feet.”
“Thanks.” Aiden led him over to the closest empty chairs. “I’m not hungry. The nurses had cake brought in for someone’s birthday. I’m not sure whose, because I didn’t see the lettering before they hacked off pieces. Just seeing the gobs of frosting and smelling the sweetness churned my stomach.”
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Matt asked. He snorted. “I’m kidding. I’m not much of a cake guy, either.”
“I like cake, but there was so much.” Aiden leaned against Matt and rested his head on Matt’s shoulder. “I wanted to change, too, but I was running so late.”
