by L A Cotton
I cared that I cared.
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them away, my gaze hard when he finally lifted his head to mine.
“Keep this up and you’re going to get hurt,” he said coolly. But the air around us was anything but cool.
It was blistering, crackling with tension, burning with anticipation.
“You’re playing with fire, Felicity.” God, even the way he said my name did things to me. “And do you know what happens when you play with fire?”
His liquor-scented breath caressed my face; his lips hovering dangerously close to mine. “You end up getting burned.”
I should have told him to get the hell away from me. Or slapped his panty-melting face and walked away. Or even kneed him in the balls and run. But I did none of those things. Instead, I said, “Maybe I want to get burned.”
Because I was Felicity Giles, a girl with a list and a serious case of the crazies.
Jason’s brow lifted, his dark eyes studying me. Although looking into my soul better described the way I felt whenever his dark, intense gaze aimed in my direction.
Why couldn’t I have wanted someone else, anyone else?
Seconds passed as we stared at one another. The music reverberated around us. Laughter and chatter lingering on the periphery of our dark corner of the hall.
“Jason?” I asked, finally breaking the silence, unable to bear it for a second longer.
“Fuck it,” he breathed and then his lips were on mine, hard and demanding. Jason didn’t just kiss me, he devoured me. His hands clawed at my dress, scraping the material up my legs until his fingers found the soft flesh of my thighs.
“Oh God,” I moaned against his unyielding lips. My hands wound into his unruly brown hair as our tongues tangled together. It was messy and dirty and quite possibly the best kiss I’d ever have.
But nothing good lasted forever, and this was Jason. He wasn’t a white knight swooping in to win the damsel’s heart. He was the evil Prince out to wreck and ruin and leave a trail of broken hearts in his wake.
“Fuck.” He tore himself away from me, his body literally jerking back.
Disappointment swelled in my chest as I watched his expression morph into sheer anger. “That was a mistake.” His lip curled in disgust.
“Okay.” I managed to choke out, smoothing down my wrinkled dress.
“I need to go; Vaughn is waiting for me.”
My heart sank.
I could handle his taunts. I could even handle being called a mistake. But hearing him say he was going back to another girl after kissing me like that... it made me want to puke.
“You should probably hurry,” I bit out. “Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.”
“Shit, Felicity, I—” Something flashed in his eyes but I cut him off.
“Go Jason, just go.” I stared at the patterns in the plush carpet.
His heavy gaze lingered on me for another second and then, like always, he was gone.
I woke startled, my eyes straining against the darkness. Crap, my head hurt after one too many drinks. But I’d needed all the liquid courage I could get after spending the night watching Jason and Vaughn. His hand on her waist, her lips on his neck. The sexual energy rolling off them, infecting everyone in close proximity.
My stomach lurched and I pushed up on one elbow, waiting for the waves of nausea to pass. Just then, a creak out in the hall cut through the silence.
“Hailee?” I whispered.
Nothing.
Lying back down, I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes chasing shadows, when I heard the sound again. Ready to go out there and see who was up, I grabbed the covers. But my door swung open and Jason stepped inside.
“What are you—”
“Ssh,” he hissed, stalking further into the room.
“You can’t be in here,” I said, curling my hands into the sheet, keeping them pulled up around my body. His eyes pierced the darkness. Watching me.
Stalking my every move.
Not that I dared breathe with him so close.
“Where’s Vaughn? Shouldn’t you—”
“Do you ever stop talking?”
“You’re in my room in the middle of the night. You don’t get to say what I can and can’t do.”
His lip curved deviously. “Wanna bet?” He edged closer, taking the air with him.
“Jason, this isn’t funny...”
“You naked under there, Giles?”
Oh God.
Heat pooled in my stomach when it should have been fear. Because Jason didn’t play nice, he played dirty.
Deadly.
Dangerously.
“You’re drunk,” I said, finding my voice again. “You should go.”
“You sure about that?” He was at the foot of the bed now, looking over me like a dark prince.
“I...”
He needed to leave.
I needed to tell him to leave right now.
Jason liked this game too much. A game I should never have gotten tangled up in.
It had all started with a list.
My list.
My foolish little list.
It was supposed to help me rock senior year. To encourage me to do all those things I’d always dreamed of but never been brave enough to do. To shed my wallflower existence.
What I didn’t count on was him.
I thought I was strong enough to play his game; to engage in war with an expert strategist.
I thought I could protect my heart and have some fun.
I should have known better.
I should have retreated instead of surrendering. But I handed over my heart without even realizing.
And now he owned me.
All of me.
Even if he said he didn’t want me.
But now he was standing there, looking at me with hunger in his eyes. A hunger that matched my own.
He did want me.
Jason Ford wanted me.
And I knew, the rules had just changed.
Felicity
“Are you going to ignore me forever?” I asked my best friend as we stopped at our lockers. She gave me some serious stink eye as she traded out textbooks.
“Hails, come on. It was a mistake. I made a mistake.”
Slamming her locker shut, her eyes fixed on mine clouded with disappointment. “You slept with him,” she hissed, lowering her voice. “You had sex with Jason. Have you lost your goddamn mind?”
“It was one time.” Barely one time when you really thought about it. “And I was drunk; it was a mistake.” One I wouldn’t be repeating in a hurry. Not that the aforementioned asshole would want a second round. Get a grip, Felicity.
“And you think that’s okay? You were drunk. Not to mention a virgin,” her voice lowered dangerously, indignation flaming her cheeks. “And you let him—”
“It’s done now.” I gave her a tight smile, ignoring the knot in my stomach. “It will never happen again. But at least I can check another thing off my list.” Strained laughter spilled from my lips, but Hails wasn’t laughing.
She wasn’t even smiling.
“This isn’t funny, Flick.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t... I don’t even know what to say right now.”
“So don’t.” I shrugged. “Let’s pretend it never even happened, okay. Jason who?”
But Hailee wasn’t looking at me anymore. She was staring over my shoulder, her eyes narrowed with contempt. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. I felt him. Felt his lips on my skin, his hands on my body.
A shiver rolled up my spine, quickly morphing into lightning bolts shooting around my body as I turned and met Jason Ford’s arrogant smirk.
“Fee, baby, I missed you.”
Silently groaning to myself, I forced a smile at Asher, Jason’s best friend.
“It’s only been a day, Asher. You might need to go see Miss Hampstead about your neediness. It’s getting worse.” My smile grew, but when I peeked
over at Jason and saw his indifference my spine stiffened.
Asher glanced between the two of us, frowning. “What’s—”
“So big game Friday?” Hailee cut him off, already tucked into her boyfriend Cameron’s side.
Jason Ford, Cameron Chase, and Asher Bennet. The three of them were Rixon Raider royalty and they were hoping to take our football team all the way to State this year.
It was a big deal for our small town. An even bigger deal for Jason and his plan to go off and dominate college football at UPenn next year, hopefully earning him a place in the NFL draft.
“Really, Hails?” Asher mocked. “You’re a fan now?”
She glared at him, earning her a low rumble of chuckles from him and Cameron. Jason watched on; his expression devoid of emotion. If anything, he looked... bored. My stomach dipped as I looked away.
Jason was complicated. Cold. Callous. And a complete asshole. Even if he was wrapped up in a frustratingly yummy package. Dark unruly hair, even darker eyes. The kind you got lost in, pulled so far under there was no hope of ever crawling back out. Broad shoulders and muscular arms and cut abs that were entirely lickable. I knew first-hand because I’d—
Don’t go there!
Jason lived and breathed football. His commitment was borderline obsessive. But then, I guess if you wanted to be the best you had to give your all. Soul included.
“It’s kind of hard not to be a fan when your boyfriend is the star wide receiver for the team.” Hailee grinned up at Cameron. My best friend had done a real one-eighty since senior year began a couple months back. She had always hated the game. Hated her step-brother Jason even more. He, along with Asher and Cameron, had made her life hell ever since she moved to Rixon. But something changed this year. Cameron started looking at her with lust in his eyes and although she tried to ignore his charms, it didn’t take long for him to break down her walls.
Our twosome soon became a threesome; a fivesome if you counted Asher and Jason. Although from the scowl Jason wore whenever he was around us, it was no secret he was tolerating his best friend’s and step-sister’s new relationship at best.
“Yeah, well, we need to be getting to practice so...” Jason’s insinuation hung in the air.
“What’s the rush?” Asher said, “We still have—” His mouth snapped shut when his best friend levelled him with an icy stare. “Ladies, it’s been a pleasure.” He trailed after Jason who failed to say goodbye, but then, he hadn’t said hello either.
Cameron lingered, crowding Hailee against the locker and kissing her. I glanced away, giving them some privacy. I’d grown used to their PDA’s over the last couple of weeks, but it didn’t make them any easier to stomach.
After a minute or so, I peeked over at them. Faces pressed close together, Cameron whispered something to Hailee that made her giggle. Jealousy clawed its way up my throat, but I stuffed it down. After everything they’d put her through over the last few years, she deserved this. The fairy tale romance. The happily-ever-after.
Cameron and Hailee were couple goals and I was so happy for them.
Not at all green.
Nope.
Not even a little bit.
My day didn’t get much better. Hailee was barely talking to me, and all everyone else was talking about was the Raiders upcoming game against Millington. Which meant all day his name followed me, a whisper on the wind, taunting me.
But it was fine.
I was fine.
I’d wanted to lose my v-card and I had. Okay, so I hadn’t anticipated giving it up to one of the most arrogant and conceited jerks I knew, but what was senior year if not a chance to try new things ... and then quickly regret ever going there.
Images flooded my mind as I pushed the sandwich around my plate. His hurried and needy and oh so hot kisses. His big strong hands splayed around my hip, my throat, possessive and dominant. The sting of him filling me... the almost tears.
“Flick?” Hailee narrowed her eyes at me. “Where’d you go just now?”
“Huh, I...”
“Forget it.” She went back to her fries, and guilt coiled around my heart. I hated that things were awkward between us. But she had walked in on me and Jason doing it, so I knew I had to give her time to come around. My best moment it was not.
“You know, you can go and sit with him.” I flicked my head over to where Cameron sat with the rest of the football team.
“I know. But we’re not attached at the hip. Besides, he needs this.” She glanced over at him. “After everything with his mom, he needs the team.”
“How is she?”
“Dealing the best she can. But she’s a fighter, and she really wants Cameron to focus on school and the team.”
I nodded. “So if he’s over there to bond with the team, why is it he hasn’t taken his eyes off you?” My brow arched, and Hailee fought a smile.
“He wanted me to sit with them.”
Swinging my leg over the bench, I stood up. “Come on, let’s go,” I said, prepared to take one for our team of two.
Hailee frowned. “What are you doing?”
“We’re going over there. He might need the team, but he needs you too. And to be quite honest, I can’t eat my lunch with him making moon eyes at you.”
“Flick,” she groaned, peeking over at the team. “I’m not sure...”
“Fine. I’ll go by myself.” I shrugged, grabbing my tray and moving around the table.
“Oh my god,” Hailee breathed out. “You’re serious, you’re really going to sit over—”
But her words rolled off me as I made my way over to their table. A few of the guys glanced up when I reached them.
“Fee, baby.” Asher’s eyes lit up when he noticed me. “And to what do we owe this pleasure?”
“Room for one more?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” one of the sophomore players, Joel Mackey, smirked. “You can sit right here.” He glanced down at his crotch and I rolled my eyes.
“Back the fuck up, Mackey.” Asher nudged the guy next to him and dropped his eyes to the space at his side.
Just as I went around to sit by him, Hailee approached the table. “I wondered how long it was going to take for you to give in,” I heard Cameron say to her, quietly. He swung his leg over the end of the bench and pulled her down, slipping his arms around her waist. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
I sat down, trying to look at anything but Cam brushing his lips over hers. God, they were so in love. So happy. So freaking perfect. Something inside me twisted.
“You okay over there?” Asher whispered.
“Who me?” I flashed him a warm smile. Asher was... well he was like a stray who followed you around; cute and annoying. But he’d never been anything but nice to me.
“You don’t need to do that,” he lowered his voice so that it was drowned out by the conversation going on around us. “Not with me,” he added.
“Do what?” I played dumb, ignoring the pit in my stomach.
His eyes flicked to where Jase sat. He was busy talking to one of the guys when a manicured hand slid over his shoulder. He glanced up, a sly smirk gracing his ridiculously perfect face, as Jenna Jarvis, star gymnast and head bitch of Rixon High, stared down at him with a salacious smile of her own. Without hesitation, Jase shoved his chair back slightly letting her drop onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and I almost gagged.
Suddenly, I felt Asher’s arm go around the back of me. My eyes slid to his in question but in true Asher style he simply grinned.
My cell phone vibrated, and I dug it out.
Hails: Are you okay?
Me: Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?
I didn’t meet her heavy gaze despite feeling it burn into the side of my face.
Hails: He’s just using her...
My eyes flicked to Jase and Jenna of their own volition.
Me: Doesn’t matter. I knew what I was doing.
You didn’t tame a guy like Jason Ford. You enjoye
d whatever he was willing to give you and filed it away under ‘fun while it lasted’. Jenna knew this, all the girls at school knew this, and yet, it didn’t stop them trying to conquer him. To make him fall at their feet. And there had been many who had tried... and failed. But I didn’t bunch myself with them because I was under no illusions when it came to Jason Ford, QB One, and Rixon’s golden boy of football.
Hails: You deserve so much more xo
The xo made me smile. She might have been pissed at me for sleeping with her step-brother, but Hailee wouldn’t stay mad for long. We were ride or die, and it would take a damn sight more than some guy to ever come between us.
Me: I love you too xo
I hit send and finally looked over at her, both of us grinning. But then something caught Hailee’s eye and her face paled. I didn’t need to turn around. I already knew what I’d find. But I did it anyway. To prove to myself—and maybe her—that I was in control of this situation. That Jason was just a semi-drunk lapse in judgment.
The second my eyes landed on them—Jenna plastered against him, their lips moving, tongues licking—I knew it was all a lie though. One I kept telling myself over and over, because if you kept repeating something, it had to be true, right?
My hands shook as I pushed my tray out of the way and stood up.
“Fee?” Asher’s voice barely perforated the white noise in my head. Jason wasn’t only kissing Jenna, he was devouring her, and I was pretty sure in about ten seconds they would be fucking in the cafeteria. Sexual energy rolled off them, hitting me like a wrecking ball.
“I- I have to go,” I rushed out, trying to keep my voice even. “I forgot. I have an appointment with Miss Hampstead.”
He frowned up at me; eyes narrowing, clouded with suspicion.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” I forced a smile that I knew probably looked wrong.
“I’ll come with you,” Hailee said across the table.
“No, it’s cool.” I made myself meet her sympathetic gaze. “I’ll see you in fourth period.”
