by L A Cotton
I don’t know what they were all getting so hung up over. So me and Felicity had sex. It wasn’t my fault she was a virgin and didn’t tell me. Or that Hailee had walked in on us. If anything, it was a good thing… we’d fucked whatever this weird hate-lust vibe we had going on right out of us. Except, you didn’t finish and you stole her fucking virginity.
Stifling a groan, I mumbled, “Be right back.” Slipping out of the booth, I ignored the questioning stares. I don’t know when I’d started caring about things so goddamn much, but I needed to clear the air. I couldn’t afford any distractions this semester, and if my friends were going to keep bringing Felicity up, then she was just that. A distraction.
One I needed to nip in the bud sooner rather than later.
Determined, I headed toward the back of the bar where the hall leading to the restrooms was. Hailee and Felicity were just coming out of the women’s bathroom when I entered. My step-sister immediately spotted me, her eyes on high alert.
“Hey,” I said, raking a hand through my hair. “Can I get a minute?” My eyes found Felicity over Hailee’s shoulder.
“I don’t think that’s a good—”
“Hailee,” Felicity laid a hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine. Go, we’ll be right there.”
My step-sister shouldered past me, pausing only to meet my eyes. She didn’t speak. She didn’t need to; her message glittering right there.
Don’t touch.
Don’t hurt her.
I’m warning you.
Jamming my hands in my pocket, I moved toward Felicity. “Come on.” I slipped around her and down the hall. I knew this place well enough to know every nook and cranny. Shouldering the last door, I pushed it open and waited for Felicity to go inside. Her brow rose in question and I said, “Just to talk, I promise.”
She gave me a tight nod.
The second I stepped into the storeroom and closed the door, the air seemed to disappear. Felicity watched me, her eyes clouded with hesitation.
“What the fuck was that back there?”
She jerked away as if I’d physically slapped her. “Don’t act dumb, Flick. I saw the way you acted when Mackey was running his mouth.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t plan on becoming locker room talk,” she shot back.
“Is that what you think? That I was talking about you?” I stepped closer. “That was a mistake. You were a mistake. One I don’t plan on making again.”
Felicity’s breath hitched, pain flashing in her eyes. “Fuck you,” she seethed.
“Baby,” I reached out, pulling a strand of hair. “We already did that.”
“I hate you.” Her voice trembled.
Good. She needed to hate me. I didn’t need her getting the wrong idea about us.
About me.
For as much as I hated to admit it, Hailee was right. I needed to stay away from Felicity. She was too naïve, too fucking pure. Until New York, until me, she’d been a virgin for fuck’s sake.
I stepped forward again, putting us almost chest to chest. I hadn’t planned on getting this close, but there was no denying she pulled me in. Almost made me want to finish what we started in New York. My eyes dropped to her lips; soft pouty lips I knew the taste of. Her tongue darted out as she watched me watching her.
“Jason, what are—”
“Shut the fuck up,” I ground out. Her chest was heaving, matching the way she kept sucking in tiny harsh breaths. She reminded me of a doe. Innocent and vulnerable. Waiting to be picked off by the big bad wolf.
Before I knew it, I’d slid my hand to her neck, stroking my thumb along her damp skin. She was sweating. I made her sweat. It was heady, knowing the way I affected her. Knowing that if I dipped my fingers into her panties I’d probably find her wet for me. Even though she hated me, even though she didn’t want this, her body did. Something we apparently had in common.
Her body shuddered, heat radiating off her.
Perhaps Felicity Giles wasn’t such a good girl after all.
The idea made my dick twitch, straining against my jeans.
“You need to leave.” Her body shook now, her eyes saying a million things she would never tell me.
“And why exactly would that be?” I leaned in, my lips ghosting over her jaw up to the corner of her mouth. She inhaled sharply.
“Jason, please, don’t do this…”
“You want me.”
“No.” It came out a shaky breath.
“Don’t lie to me, babe. I can feel the heat from your body, the way you’re trembling at my touch. And I bet if I do this,” I let my other hand drift down her stomach, down and down, until I grazed the apex of her thighs.
A soft moan slipped from Felicity’s lips and I chuckled. “Bingo.”
“Why?” she choked out, swallowing hard.
“Why?” I eased back to look at her. Pupils blown, skin flushed, her arousal swirled around us. “Because I can.” My mouth hovered over hers, waiting. Anticipating what she might do.
Her eyes fluttered closed, her breathing ragged. I was barely touching her, and yet, she was so responsive. So easy to work up. Felicity Giles was nothing but surprise after surprise.
“Why me?” I asked against her lips.
“W- what?”
“Why did you pick me? I don’t believe that bullshit about being a means to an end. Not when you could have your pick of guys who would have treated you—”
She snorted at that. “No one at school would dare ask me out.”
What the actual fuck?
I blinked, hardly able to believe what I was hearing. Sure, Felicity wasn’t classically hot; usually found walking the school hall looking more of a hot mess than a girl I wanted to fuck. But when you looked past the overalls and floral print shirts and hippy style she wore most days, she was beautiful.
“You really don’t know?” she whispered.
My expression must have said it all, because Felicity let out a heavy sigh. “You,” she said. “It’s you. You told everyone Hailee was off-limits in ninth grade, and I’m her best friend. If anyone tries to get close to me, they’re going to get close to—”
“Hailee.”
“Hailee.” Her lips pursed as she gave me a small nod. “Apparently, I’m not worth the risk.”
She didn’t date… because of me.
I guess I’d never really given it much thought before. She was Hailee’s best friend; someone I was used to seeing around. Someone I barely tolerated. But now she was… fuck! I didn’t want to feel guilty. But the unfamiliar emotion snaked through me.
A beat passed. And another.
“Jason, I should—”
“Wait, just wait a minute.” I needed to think, and it was impossible with her standing there, so close, yet, so far away. My body hyperaware of hers.
“Are you okay?” Her voice was so small, so fucking quiet. I hated it, but I didn’t know why.
“Okay, this has been... weird, but I’m going.” She began peeling my fingers off her neck. I hadn’t even realized I was still holding her like that because I couldn’t think straight.
Felicity had almost made it to the door when I finally found my voice again. “Stop.” I said, spinning around to meet her confused gaze.
“Jason, I—”
I was on her in a second, pressing her against the door, fixing my mouth over hers. Felicity slammed her hands against my jersey, pushing me away, but I was too strong and eventually she gave up, twisting her hand into the material and yanking me closer.
Demanding more.
Flattening my body against hers, I punched my hips forward. “Oh God,” she moaned, her fingers scraping the back of my neck as we devoured each other. Tongues tangling and teeth clashing.
“Whoa.” I jerked back, blinking rapidly, trying to clear my mind.
What the fuck was I doing?
“That was—”
“A mistake,” Felicity said with a tinge of sadness.
“Yeah, I mean, I wasn’t...” I back
ed up, putting some much-needed space between us.
“I get it.” She closed down, wrapping her arms around her waist, barely meeting my eye.
“Felicity, I—”
“Let’s not do this. I had zero expectations when we...” Her expression cooled like the air around us. “You don’t owe me anything and I sure as hell don’t owe you anything, so let’s just pretend it never happened, okay? I’ll go back to being your step-sister’s best friend, the person you didn’t realize existed.”
Pretend it never happened.
“Fine. Sounds good to me,” I said with an easy shrug.
“Great.”
“Fine.” The word echoed in my head. I was fine with that. I’d only come to talk to her to clear the air and avoid any more drama with the guys. Pretending it never happened was the perfect fucking solution.
After all she was right, she’d never been on my radar until recently; no one to me.
Better that’s what she went back to. Wasn’t it?
Felicity
“Happy game day.” I flashed Hailee a wide smile, but she frowned.
“You’re... happy.”
“Is that a crime?”
“No, of course not, I just thought...”
“That I’d spend the week moping after Jason?” Laughter spilled out of me, but it was strained. “Like I already told you yesterday and the day before that, it was a mistake. A blip. Jason, who?”
Hailee’s eyes scrutinized me. Sharp and assessing and filled with doubt.
“If it makes you feel better,” I went on, filling the awkward silence, “I added another item to my list.”
“You did?” Her brows went up as the school came into view.
“I did. Number eleven: Do not, under any circumstances, fraternize with the football team.”
“Asher’s on the football team.” I felt her heavy gaze on me.
“Asher is a friend.”
“Is that what we’re calling it. He likes you, you know?”
“He doesn’t like me. He likes the idea of me.”
“We could double date.” She sounded happy at the prospect; too happy.
“Hails,” I glanced at her, “Don’t get any ideas about me and Asher, okay?”
“Who, me?” She smiled deviously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Hails, I mean it, Asher is...”
“Cute. Athletic. And totally into you.”
“He isn’t...” The protest died on my tongue. There were times when I did notice Asher looking at me with lust in his baby blues. But he was a guy and I was a girl. It was simple biology. Asher Bennet was a player through and through. The rumors I’d heard about his sexcapades were impressive to say the least. And he very much had a type. Much like the entire team.
And I was not it.
“I need to stop by the studio first thing. Coach Hasson and Mr. Jalin want to see how things are ‘progressing’.” She air quoted the words.
“Ah, yes, the Seniors Night portraits. And how are those coming along?” Hailee was secretive about her art, so the fact Coach Hasson had asked her to paint the annual senior football players commemorative portraits was no small thing.
In fact, it was pretty epic.
“Can I come with?”
“Hmm, I don’t know, Flick. It’s supposed to be a big surprise at the Seniors Night dinner.”
“Please.” I flashed her my best puppy-dog eyes. “The dinner is still three weeks away and I really want to see them.”
“They still need a lot of work.”
“Hails, they’re going to be great. Mr. Jalin and Coach Hasson wouldn’t have asked you if they didn’t believe you could do it.”
She gave me a weak smile, one that told me she wasn’t as convinced as I was. “Fine. But you have to forget I ever showed you. Because Cameron has been hounding me to see his portrait and I told him no.”
“Ahh, you love me more than you love him.”
“Flick, come on. I love you both. Equally.” Her lip quirked up.
Pulling into an empty parking spot, I cut the engine and twisted around to look at my best friend. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice nothing but genuine. “I’m sorry I almost screwed things up with you because of Jason. And I’m really sorry you had to see... well, that.”
A violent shudder ripped through me at the memory of Hailee walking in on me and Jason. The confusion and hurt in her eyes.
The disappointment.
Her expression softened as she reached for my hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry I freaked out. It’s just we’ve hated him for so long and you’re my best friend and I don’t ever want to see you get hurt.”
“You don’t need to worry about me, Hails.” My chest tightened. “I’m a big girl. Not even the likes of Jason can hurt me.” But the second I said the words I knew it was a lie.
Because Jason had already hurt me. And I knew, given half the chance, he would completely destroy me.
But that wasn’t going to happen, because whatever was between us, the weird hate-lust attraction we had going, was over.
So over.
Jason, who?
“Holy shit, Hails. That is...” I had no words to describe the work of art my eyes were currently soaking in. It was Cameron; a painting of him poised and ready to catch the ball. Even through his helmet you could see his fierce determination, the way his eyes were homed in on their target. Nothing but him and the ball, off-page, hurtling toward him.
“I’ve never seen anything like it.” I reached out to touch it, but she swatted my hand away. “Crap, sorry,” I said, leaning closer to get a better look. “It’s so realistic. Like I’m watching him move for the ball. Even his shirt seems to be moving.”
“That’s what I wanted to capture; the urgency of the game, the adrenaline and power.”
I glanced up at her, fighting a smirk. “Steady there, you’re starting to sound like a true fan.”
She blushed. “I guess he’s rubbing off on me.”
“Admit it, you love it.” Pre-Cameron, I’d had to drag Hailee to her first game and she’d spent the whole time complaining. But now, my girl was on the way to becoming the Raiders number one fan. And I couldn’t blame her. If I got to watch Cameron play, knowing he was mine, I’d be converted too.
“So can I see another?” I asked, eyeing the other canvasses, the paintings they contained all hidden with sheets.
“You really think it’s good enough?”
“Babe, it’s amazing. You’re so talented. I wish I had your kind of natural ability... at anything.”
“Flick, come on, you’re good at stuff.”
I snorted. “Hardly. Name one thing I’m good at?” Hailee tapped her lips, pondering it for too long. “See,” I added, “Nothing.”
“You like reading.”
“So does half the population.” I rolled my eyes.
“And you’ve been really good at stepping out of your comfort zone lately.”
“I don’t think they have a society for that at college, Hails.”
“You like lists.”
True. I did. Lists kept me organized; reminded me of things I needed to do. Lists for the grocery store. Lists of the celebrities I crushed on. Not to mention my senior year bucket list.
Lists made me happy.
“You’re right. I am an excellent maker of the lists. It’s an undervalued talent for sure.”
“Oh come on.” She nudged my shoulder. “You know what I mean. Just because you’re not really good at one thing doesn’t mean you’re not good at lots of little things.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” My smile was forced, the knot in my stomach tightening.
It wasn’t that I was jealous of Hailee, I wasn’t. She was gifted and I was excited for the Seniors Night unveiling. For her. But it only heightened my self-awareness of how lacking I was. It was senior year. The year of college applications and chasing future dreams. A future my parents had all planned out for me since the womb. They
wanted me to follow family tradition; attend UPenn, get my business degree and work some white-collar job in the city.
Before senior year, I would have happily gone along with their plans. Because it was better than the alternative—no plan. But I was restless. A little voice whispering in my ear that if I went to UPenn and studied business and graduated ready to enter the big old world of white-collar employment, I’d regret it. It had been quiet before, easy to ignore, but now it was growing louder, a constant noise making itself heard.
That’s how my senior year bucket list had first spawned. If I was going to pursue my parents’ dream for me; instead of riding the bumpy road of uncertainty, I wanted to go out with a bang. Make senior year the best it could be.
1. Take up a new hobby
2. Cut class
3. Attend a pep rally
4. Skinny dip down at the lake
5. Fall asleep under the stars
6. Go to a party at Asher Bennet’s house
7. Drink (actual liquor) at Bell’s
8. Go to Winter Formal… with a date (not a girlfriend)
9. Hook up with a random guy
10. Fall in crazy messy love
I mentally recalled each item, checking the ones off I’d already completed. I’d joined book club, attended a pep rally, and partied at Asher’s house. Thanks to Asher, I’d also got mildly drunk at Bell’s. Number nine was a given, but I was considering giving myself a do over where that was concerned, because Jason was neither a random guy nor could our moment of madness be described as a ‘hook up’.
“Hey,” Hailee’s voice perforated my thoughts. “Are you okay?”
“Huh, what?” I blinked at my best friend.
“You zoned out for a minute there.”
“I’m fine.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings—”
“You didn’t.” My lips pressed into a thin smile. “Now what’s a girl got to do to see the rest of them?” I inclined my head over to the other concealed portraits.
“Flick,” Hailee groaned.
“Hails, come on... this is me.” I turned on the puppy dog eyes and pout again, knowing she wouldn’t be able to resist. But nothing could have prepared me for the next portrait, as Hailee pulled off the cover.
