by L A Cotton
I’d fucked up again earlier. I should never have driven her out to the lake and kissed her. Or put your hands on her.
She just made it all so damn easy. Nothing like Jenna or the other girls I was used to being around. Felicity was just content being there; talking and listening. And some of the shit that came out of her mouth... well, it was gold dust, and strangely, I found myself craving whatever weird assed sentence was going to come out of her pouty mouth next. But nothing was as intriguing as the way she let me handle her body. She handed me complete control, as if she trusted me with every fiber of her being. Which was ironic considering I was the last person on Earth she should trust.
Despite her serious lapse in judgement where I was concerned, Felicity was a smart girl who gave as good as she got. But when I put my hands on her skin, my mouth on hers, something changed. It was addictive.
She was addictive.
But she was also off-limits for so many fucking reasons I should probably make a list.
Yeah, she’d love that.
I fought a smile.
“What’s got you grinning like the Cheshire Cat?” Asher nudged me, taking a long pull on his beer.
“Nothing, just thinking.” His frowned deepened as if I was a puzzle he was trying to solve.
“How’s the ribs?”
“I’ll live.” I shrugged, chugging down my beer. Thatcher’s cousin had gotten in a couple of hard digs, and I had a nice bruise forming, but it wasn’t enough to do any real damage.
Just then, the door swung open and Cameron and Hailee walked in, Felicity trailing in behind them, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
Fuck.
I hadn’t anticipated seeing her again tonight.
“There he is,” Grady called. “Get over here, Rocky Balboa, drinks are on the house.”
The whole place cheered causing Cam to duck his head.
Pussy.
He never did eat up the limelight like the rest of us, and now he was with Hailee, he was even more inclined to linger in the background. I’d always given him shit for it. Back when we were kids and people began to take notice, I couldn’t understand why he rarely lapped up the attention. But now I wondered if Cam was onto something. If maybe he knew all along that if you stayed in the limelight for too long, it would eventually burn your soul until there was nothing left but ash.
Cameron was sporting a nice shiner underneath his left eye. I had to give him props, I didn’t know he had it in him. Because what they said was true: girls really did make you crazy. And my best friend was two screws loose over my step-sister.
“Fee, baby, you came.”
“I... Hailee insisted.” She kept her eyes on Asher, refusing to look at me.
It shouldn’t have bothered me so much, but it did.
“Well, let’s get you ladies a drink.” He leaped up and slung his arm round her shoulders. I followed him up.
“I’ll be at the pool table.”
Hailee caught my eye, but I simply tipped my chin and kept on walking.
“Hey, Jase, good game tonight.” A petite blond sidled up to me, running her hands suggestively up my chest.
“Hey...”
“Marissa,” she purred, her eyes full of intention. “I’m on the swim team.
“You must love getting wet then,” one of the guys hollered. I glowered at him, dragging my eyes back to Marissa, expecting to see her mild disgust at his words. But in true jersey chaser fashion she batted her eyes, fingering the collar on my Henley.
“Oh, I love getting wet.” The words teased off her tongue slowly. “I don’t suppose you could help me out with that, could you?”
Marissa was hot. Tight body accentuated by the mini skirt and one size too small Raiders tank she wore. Bringing my thumb to my lip, I let my eyes drift down her curves. She was exactly my type. Slim. Athletic. And down for whatever. But something was missing. That something was currently giggling at Asher like he hung the fucking moon.
“Jason.” Marissa’s hand grazed my semi-interested dick, commanding my attention. “I said do you want to get out of here?”
“Maybe later. It’s still early.”
Rejection flashed in her eyes, but then her seductive smile slid back in place. “You know where to find me.” She flicked her head toward a group of girls.
“Yeah.” I grabbed my bottle of Bud and took a long pull.
“Jason Ford passing up fresh pussy?” Grady came up beside me. “Hell must have frozen over.”
“I’m not sure she could handle me.” I smirked.
“Oh shit, you’re bad, Cap. So fucking bad. But if you’re not gonna indulge, mind if I—”
“Be my guest, man.”
He slapped me on the back as he passed, making a beeline for Marissa and her carbon-copy swim team friends. He was quickly joined by Mackey and a couple of other rookies. They were worse than dogs in heat. Thank fuck I didn’t have to work for it. Being QB One meant something in Rixon; but being Jason Ford—son of local football hero Kent Ford—and QB One meant everything. Guys wanted to be me and girls wanted to screw me. Everyone wanted their fill. And until recently, I’d soaked it up. But when everyone wanted a piece of you, the chance to say they knew you... partied with you... fucked you... or even fought with you, there wasn’t much left to go around. It was a catch twenty-two, a rock and really fucking hard place. Because I loved the game, loved it more than anything in the world. Cut me open and I was pretty sure I’d bleed football. But it came at a price. One everyone thought they would happily pay until it’s your life. Until you don’t know who you can trust or who wants to use you as a steppingstone to their five minutes of small-town fame.
It’s why I’d hated Hailee so much when she’d first moved here. She was so judgmental, sweeping in with her holier-than-thou attitude, assuming she knew what I was like.
Who I was.
So I liked sex, but didn’t want to date or get tied down to one girl? The last thing I wanted was to put down roots here. Rixon was merely a steppingstone to bigger and better things. And I had one plan: to achieve what my old man couldn’t and get drafted to the NFL. An injury had ended his career in senior year of college. His dream might have gone up in smoke but his legacy lived on.
Me.
And I was going all the way.
No matter the cost.
“Something on your mind?” Cameron pulled up a stool next to the high table beside me.
“Nah, just watching Grady make an ass of himself.”
“You know, you can come sit with us.”
“I know.”
“What I’m trying to figure out is if you won’t come over because of Hailee or Felicity or both of them?”
“Look, Chase, I’m happy for you, I am. Does it freak me out you’re boning my step-sister? Hell yes.” I shuddered. “But I get it. You need her, she needs you, yada yada yada.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
My eyes levelled him. “You gave up Penn for her.” Cameron had always been coming to Penn with me. We were going to dominate the Quakers and kick some Ivy League ass. But then his mom got sick and he and Hailee... well, things changed. He changed.
Cam let out a heavy sigh, raking a hand through his hair. “I thought we were over this? I get football is important to you, but there’s more to life—”
“Is this the part where you tell me that one day I’ll meet the one and realize I want to settle down, get married, and pop out a couple of kids? Because if it is, you’re wasting your breath.”
“I know Aimee hurt—”
“You think this has fuck all to do with Aimee? She was nothing but a conniving piece of shit like her brother.”
“Jase, come on, this is me. You don’t need to put—”
“Aimee was a mistake.” A huge fucking mistake that came back around to bite me in the ass. If I’d have known she was Thatcher’s sister from the get go, I never would have looked at her, let alone touched her.
“It
’s okay to admit you felt something...” Cameron trailed off when I glared at him. Hard. He didn’t get it. I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to care about anyone other than myself and my future. Caring made you vulnerable. It opened you up to a whole world of hurt I had no interest in feeling. Besides, when I cradled the leather ball in my hands, I had everything I needed.
“Okay, I won’t say another word. But you should still come sit with us. I know it’d mean a lot to Hailee.” Cam stalked back to their booth, and I let my eyes drift over to them. Hailee was gazing up at him with stars in her eyes and Asher was busy entertaining Felicity with nothing but a beer mat and his nose. It would have been easy to go sit with them, to pretend I was okay with how much everything was changing. But then, Asher leaned forward, brushing a wisp of hair from Felicity’s face and my hand tightened around the bottle. He was touching her and she was loving every second.
Fuck that.
And fuck them.
“Jerry,” I called as I approached the bar. “I’m gonna need something stronger.”
“Come on, Jase, you know I can’t—”
“I like you, J, but it’s either serve me the damn liquor or I’ll go get it elsewhere.”
He let out a resigned sigh and shook his head. “You remind me of him, you know. Back in the day.”
“Spare me the ‘you’re just like your old man’ crap.” I nursed my empty bottle, waiting for Jerry to pour my new drink.
“Even sound like him too,” his chest rumbled with laughter. “I’m cutting you off after two.”
“Three.” I rose a brow.
“Fine, three and you’re done.” He pushed a glass of whiskey toward me. It wasn’t exactly the drink of champions, but I’d acquired the taste when me and the guys used to raid my dad’s liquor cabinet back when we were kids.
Just like my old man, the words made me shudder. He was everything I was trying not to be. The prime example of someone letting it all go to their head. It didn’t matter that Dad had me and Mom at home. Some skirt only had to bat her eyes in his direction and he’d be foaming at the mouth. My mom, now there was an example of a strong woman. She’d stuck by Dad through it all: the depression, the melancholy, the endless string of faceless women. But everyone had a breaking point, and Dad had found hers. Mom finally walked away and I had to choose—a new life, new school, and new team, or Rixon. A decision I would never forgive him for.
A decision my mom had never forgiven me for.
“There you are.” A familiar hand slid over my shoulder.
“Jenna,” my voice was clipped but it didn’t deter her from sliding into the stool beside me.
“Drinking all alone?”
“Just catching my breath. You know how it is after a game.”
“I know how it can be.” She walked her fingers over my arm. “You look tense.”
Tense was the fucking understatement of the year.
“I can help with that.”
My eyes slid to hers in question. Of course I knew where this was going, the only way it ever went between us. But my dick wasn’t in it, not tonight.
Unperturbed, Jenna leaned in, brushing her lips against the shell of my ear. “Meet me in the storeroom in five.”
“Oh yeah, you going to make it worth my while?”
She pulled back, running her tongue across her bottom lip, a slow seductive sweep. “I think we both know that when we’re done, you’re gonna be feeling a whole lot better.” She stood up, making a show of flicking her long blonde hair off her shoulder and letting me get a front row seat to her impressive rack.
“Five minutes.” She mouthed before sauntering away, heading straight for the back of the bar.
“That one has trouble written all over her.”
“Maybe I like trouble, old man.”
“I knew another guy who said exactly the same thing once.” Jerry gave me a knowing look, whipped the towel off his shoulder and began wiping the counter.
I hadn’t wanted Marissa. She was new. All shiny and eager. Probably hoping she could impress me enough to want to stick around. But Jenna knew the score. She knew it was nothing more than sex between us. A way to burn off some steam and relax.
And given how tense I was, I knew I’d be a fool to resist what she was offering. Decision made, I downed the rest of my whiskey and made my way to the back. But before I disappeared down the hall, I glanced back, searching for my friends. For Felicity. She was still laughing at Asher, her eyes alight and lips curved. She looked happy. My chest tightened, Jerry’s words rattling around my head. He was wrong. I wasn’t my father.
I would never let myself become my father.
But I was no saint either.
Felicity
“Are you sure he won’t come back here?” I asked Hailee for the millionth time since we left Bell’s.
“He rarely comes home Friday night, either crashing at Asher’s or…” she trailed off, giving me a sympathetic smile.
Jason had barely looked twice at me at Bell’s, and every time he did, it was with a scowl painted on his face. As if that wasn’t enough, I’d watched him follow Jenna Jarvis into the back and return a while later with a lazy smirk and fresh wrinkles in his Henley.
“It is what it is.” My lips pursed.
She shook away her grim expression. “Anyway, we didn’t come back here to mope over stupid boys; it’s girls’ night. Are we going with Scott Eastwood in The Longest Ride or shall we go old school with a bit of R Patz in Breaking Dawn?”
Smothering a giggle, I shot her an incredulous look. “I still can’t believe, you, Hailee Raine, are a closet Twihard.”
“What?” She shrugged with no sign of remorse. “He’s hot.”
“If you say so. I’m more of Tim Riggins kinda gal. You can keep your sparkly vampires; I’ll take Friday Night Lights any day of the week.”
“Maybe that’s your problem,” she quipped, setting up the film.
“Says the girl dating her very own football star.” I rolled onto my stomach and grabbed another handful of popcorn.
“I’m dating Cameron, the person. Who just so happens to play football.”
“Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.” I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her. Hailee caught it and settled down on her bed, hitting the light switch and plunging the room into darkness.
“This is nice,” she said through a yawn. “You, me, just like old times.”
“Uh-hmm.” I wondered if she’d still be saying that if she knew what I’d been doing with her step-brother less than a few hours ago.
Dear God, what had I done? Letting him touch me like that. But it was like I became someone else around him; someone who thrived on his cruel words and cocky charm.
It was unlike me. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe I liked the fact I felt different around Jason. Powerful and sexy. Instead of the wallflower I’d been for most of my life.
Hailee was immersed in the film, oohing and ahhing to all her favorite parts, until my eyes grew heavy and the moving images started to blur.
I woke with a start. “Hailee?” I whispered, but she was out cold, her muffled breaths steady and shallow. The glare from the television illuminated the room, guiding my path as I climbed to my feet, stretching out the kinks in my neck. The digital clock on her nightstand read one in the morning. We must have been sleeping awhile.
Deciding to pee before I tried to get comfy again, I ducked into Hailee’s bathroom. Not bothering to turn on the light, I left the bedroom door ajar instead. Once I was done, I washed my hands, catching my reflection in the small wall mirror. I looked the same. Same green eyes, same brown hair, and beauty spot on my upper left cheek. But I felt different. Something inside me was changing.
I was changing.
And I didn’t know how to make it stop, whether I even wanted to.
“You gonna stand there all day or are you done?” The low growl catapulted my heart into my throat.
“Jason, what the—” He closed the
distance, brushing past me to pull the door separating Hailee’s side of the bathroom and her bedroom closed. “Let me out.” My eyes narrowed as I took in his disheveled appearance; the bitter scent of whisky lingering on his breath.
“Why the fuck are you here?” he ground out, rubbing his jaw. There was a slight slur to his words and I realized he was drunk.
Crap.
I could deal with sober Jason, but drunk Jason… drunk Jason was what had landed me in this situation in the first place.
“I’m with Hailee. She invited me. It’s girls’ night,” I said as if it mattered. Of course it didn’t freaking matter.
Edging backward, my hands searched desperately for the door handle.
“You’re everywhere, like a recurring nightmare.” His words hit me straight in the heart.
“You came in here first—”
“It’s my fucking bathroom.” Anger blazed in his eyes as he stalked toward me, so close if he reached for me, I’d be right there.
“It’s Hailee’s—”
“I don’t give a fuck. You shouldn’t be here.” He dragged a hand through his hair, pulling at the ends in frustration.
“So let me go,” I whisper-hissed, done with his bullshit. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for any of this. Okay, so maybe I had a hand in blurring the lines between us, but he’d made it perfectly clear where we stood, and it wasn’t like I was begging him to give me a chance.
“Is that what you really want?” His hand came for me, splaying against the side of my neck, his thumb tracing up and down.
“Yes,” I said shakily.
“You sure?” Jason leaned in, his breath hot on my skin, his lips dangerously near the soft spot right beneath my ear. “Because I’m not so sure. I think you like this, like what I do to you.” He inhaled deeply, inhaled me, and my legs almost gave way.
“Jason, stop.” I fisted my hands at my sides, knowing if I touched him it wouldn’t end well.
“Stop?” There was a wicked glint in his eye as he lifted his face to me. “You think you get to say when this stops?”
