by Carter Ashby
“I understand.”
He was as clear about the situation as he could be. She said she understood. And she was an adult, wasn’t she? If this was what she wanted, why not?
He tilted her chin up and lowered his head, his lips just brushing against hers.
A knock on the back door gave his heart a jolt. He jumped back in time for Charlie to round the corner into the kitchen. She went straight to Maggie and embraced her. “Are you okay?” she asked.
Maggie’s face was bright red—she was a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “I’m fine. Really. Just got a little emotional.”
“I’m so sorry. We just kept going on and on, ruining your good mood.”
“It’s okay. I feel better now, really.”
Charlie pulled back and turned to Logan. “I didn’t realize the two of you had gotten so close.”
Logan’s words stuck in his throat.
“He’s been helping me with the house,” Maggie said. “We’ve spent a lot of time together the past couple of weeks.”
Logan nodded, trying to think of something to say.
“Cool,” Charlie said, looking like this was anything but cool. “Logan, would you excuse us? Girl talk.”
The last thing he wanted, right now, was to walk away from Maggie. Especially considering the stern look she was giving him. It was a mom look. A don’t-you-dare-walk-away look. “Uh, I guess…”
“Why don’t we all walk back up to the house?” Maggie said, plastering on a smile. “We can talk there.”
“Sure,” Charlie said, “but I just need a quick word in private. Go away, Logan.”
What could he do. Maggie was clearly not going to give him visual permission, so he gave her his sorriest shrug and left.
He got halfway to the house before he felt the call to be alone. He looked at the barn, where there were two horses and a whole lot of silence. He looked at the house, where there was family and drama and…Frank.
Logan walked to the barn.
“I was just wondering how things were going with you and David,” Charlie said sweetly.
She never came directly at you. She always took a circuitous route in hopes that you would give something up. Betray yourself somehow. It was unnerving. And annoying.
“I’m not dating David. I’m not interested in him that way. But I think you already know that.”
Charlie put on a sad, hurt expression. “I know you’ve been saying that. But you’ve been spending so much time with him I just assumed you were, you know, playing hard to get with him.”
“Nope.”
“Because the thing is—David is a really great guy.”
“Why is this urgent? I’m feeling better, shouldn’t we get back to Ellie?”
Charlie sighed and dropped her head back. “Fine. I’ll just say it. That was weird, Maggie.”
“What was weird?” She didn’t have to ask. She knew what Charlie was going to say.
“The thing with you and Logan back at the house. All the…touching. It was just…weird.”
“Didn’t feel weird to me. We’re friends, is all. We clicked as soon as we met, that’s all.”
Charlie sighed again. “I feel like I just need to say this… He’s your brother-in-law. You get that, right?”
Maggie didn’t want to feel sick to her stomach or embarrassed or ashamed. Hadn’t she been through enough, lately? She should be able to just enjoy the enjoyable moments? “I don’t know what the big deal is. We’re just friends.”
“Okay. If you’re just friends, that’s fine. I was just concerned, is all. Like I said, I didn’t know the two of you had gotten that close.”
Maggie bit back her feelings; it was so hard not to react when you were a natural-born reactor. She’d been preached at to “think before you speak” her whole life. Now was definitely not the time to speak. Especially since she didn’t fully understand everything she was feeling.
It wasn’t as though she and Logan had been conducting a secret affair. They’d been dancing around some feelings, and sure, they’d done it privately. But it wasn’t because they were ashamed or trying to hide something, was it?
After all, there was nothing to be ashamed of.
Yes, maybe it was a little odd. Maybe it wasn’t usually the way things were done. But how often do you get such intense feelings for someone and have them return those feelings? It wasn’t as though she’d been scoping out her brothers-in-law, looking for one she wanted to jump. It was just something that had happened. And their in-law status just didn’t seem powerful enough to dissuade her from flirting with him.
But this wasn’t an argument she needed to have with Charlie. Clearly, it was one she needed to have with herself, though she was pretty sure she would come to the same conclusion she’d already arrived at. Still, it was never a bad thing to take a moment to think.
She followed Charlie back to the house and hugged Eleanor, apologizing profusely.
Lunch had ended, and everyone had agreed to take a walk down to the creek and back.
“Where’s Logan?” Maggie asked.
“He didn’t come back after he left to check on you,” Eleanor said, with a tightness in her voice.
“Probably down with the horses, then,” Maggie said with a sigh. “We can grab him on our way to the creek.”
“Let’s leave him be,” Frank said as he pulled on his boots.
She felt her heart rate go up again. She’d never had Frank tell her no before. Not many people told her no, really. Josh certainly hadn’t. Logan had, but she’d just about gotten a yes out of him before Charlie’s interruption. “I’ll just jog down and see if he wants to go,” Maggie said.
Frank stood up from sliding into his boots and gave her a patient smile. “One thing I learned about that boy—when he goes off on his own, best leave him be.”
Maggie looked to Eleanor, who was tying her shoes with way too much concentration. She looked to Charlie, who wore a wooden smile. And Spencer, who was avoiding eye-contact with everyone.
“By the way,” Frank said. “How are things going with that young man—David McAlister, is it?”
“Yes, that’s him. And we’re enjoying reconnecting. He’s a good friend.”
“That’s good. You’re still young. Got a lot yet to offer.”
So everyone was concerned about her and Logan’s little tickle-fight earlier. She wasn’t sure what else to say, so she smiled and ducked out the back door. Everyone followed. Everyone was paired up for their walk. Maggie was debating running to the stables, but she couldn’t bring herself to outright defy Frank like that.
So she let it go and walked next to Eleanor.
Since his room was in the attic, there was no door for someone to knock on. As a child, Logan had often wondered whether Frank would have knocked anyway, or if he would have always just barged in. Either way, it had the effect of always reminding Logan that this wasn’t his home—that he was only living there by Frank’s grace.
So when the stair hatch to the attic lowered just as Logan was about to turn in, he got that same wave of dread he used to get as a child. His mother would always use a broom handle to tap on the ceiling and let him know she was coming up. Frank didn’t feel the need to extend such courtesy.
Logan stood from the edge of his bed, glad he hadn’t gotten fully settled in since he was getting this surprise visit. He wore sweatpants and a T-shirt but often lost one or both to sleep in the warm attic.
Frank emerged from Logan’s bedroom floor. He climbed the ladder into the room and looked around as though he’d never seen the place. Hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans. “How’s it going?” he asked.
“Fine,” Logan said. He’d avoided the family the rest of the day. Truth be told, until this moment, he’d forgotten about telling Frank to fuck-off, earlier. His mind was filled with other, more interesting thoughts and ideas. Maggie’s flirtations, the brief brush of her lips, and the thrill of it all. “Listen, I’m sorry for cursing at you
, earlier. I wasn’t thinking. Hope it didn’t upset Mom.”
“It did, as a matter of fact. But your cursing at me ain’t the problem.”
Logan took a deep breath, knowing he was going to hear the problem whether he wanted to or not.
“That girl is your brother’s wife,” Frank said.
Of course. Logan dropped his head back and turned away. He made it to the back wall, turned, and leaned back against it, arms folded over his chest.
“I can’t even imagine what you’re thinking, moving in on her like that.”
Logan shook his head. There was nothing to say to this. Anything he said was either going to be rejected or twisted.
“I want you to stay away from her. Get any thoughts you got about her out of your head. You hear me?”
Logan didn’t answer at first. He weighed the pros and cons of engaging in a conversation about this at all. Maybe it would be useless. Or maybe Frank would listen to reason. “I see her every day. We’re working on that house of hers. We’ve gotten close, that’s all. Just friends.”
“Didn’t look that way to me.”
“I don’t really give a shit what it looked like to you. I ain’t gonna stop helping Maggie and being her friend just ’cause it makes you feel uncomfortable. So what…you want me out of your house, now?” That was, after all, the only thing Frank had to hold over him.
Frank glared at him. “I know damn well what you got on your mind. Now, even if she wasn’t your sister-in-law, she’d still deserve a hell of a lot better than you.”
This hit Logan like a punch to the chest.
“What do you have to offer a smart, beautiful woman like that, huh? Gonna knock her up like you did that poor girl back in high school? Gonna run away when things get hard like you did to your momma?”
Logan felt sick.
“There’s some folk shouldn’t have ever been born. You like to near ruined your mother’s life just by being born, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know that,” Logan said through his teeth. “You told me often enough.”
“Well, all I’m saying is, don’t go fucking up the last days she has left on this earth.”
Frank turned and made his way down the ladder.
“You want me to go?” Logan asked.
Frank paused, just a head and shoulders sticking out of the floor now. “Go back to Montana?”
“No. Go to a hotel.”
“You trying to make me look bad to Ellie?”
“I’m trying to keep the peace.”
Frank glared at him. “Stay, for her sake. Just remember, Maggie ain’t for you.”
He descended out of sight, the hatch closing a moment later.
Logan sank onto his bed and took a few deep breaths. Seemed he hadn’t outgrown his fear of Frank. Nearly forty years old, a good fifty pounds heavier, and the man still made him sick to his stomach.
Then again, Frank had always had a way of reaching straight into that dark place in his mind where he kept all his fears and insecurities and exploiting them. It was a particular gift the man had. Mentioning Cara, his high school girlfriend, and the pregnancy…
It was like Frank knew exactly what it would take to make Logan back down.
Cara had been devastated when she found out she was pregnant. She’d cried and screamed at him. There hadn’t been anything he could say to make her feel better. He’d sworn he would quit school and get a second job. She’d said she didn’t want to keep the baby. He felt awful about it. He hadn’t try to convince her to keep the baby, but he assured her as much as he could that he would be her partner. When she insisted she didn’t want it, he found a clinic. He emptied his bank account to pay for it. He drove her there, waited in the waiting area, drove her home.
She quit talking to him. Wouldn’t return his calls. Two weeks later she swallowed a bottle of pills. Her parents found her, got her to the hospital. She didn’t die, but no one would let him visit her.
And the night she was being released from the hospital, Frank came up to Logan’s room and told him to stay away from the girl. Reminded him that his very existence had nearly killed his mother, and now he’d gone and nearly killed an innocent girl.
Now, there he was reliving it, just as Frank had intended. Reliving it as a warning to stay away from Maggie. Once there was a king whose touch turned everything to gold. Logan’s touch turned everything to death.
He didn’t believe it.
And yet, he feared it was true.
But did he fear it enough to stay away from Maggie?
She was a mature woman. She was a mother four times over. A war widow. She could demo and remodel a house all by herself. Surely, she could handle herself.
And though he’d had a rough start…Logan had spent the last fifteen years peacefully ranching in Montana. He had friends. Even an on-again off-again girlfriend. He hadn’t hurt any of them. He’d been settled and productive and best he could tell, folks thought of him as a stand-up guy.
Frank would always hate him. No changing that.
But he didn’t have to buy into Frank’s worldview. He didn’t have to go back to hating himself.
Logan lay back on his bed and thought about how close he’d gotten to kissing Maggie. In a way, it made sense. If she liked Josh, she’d probably like Logan. If Josh liked Maggie, Logan would probably like Maggie. They had a lot in common, him and Joshy.
Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t.
Logan wasn’t sure whether right and wrong mattered in this situation.
CHAPTER EIGHT
NATE DUGAN DIDN’T care about any of this school nonsense. He didn’t like his grandma dying, but he didn’t much care about that right now, either. Truth be told, he couldn’t really wrap his mind around it. Kind of hard to believe when she was still walking around giving hugs and sneaking him candy from her purse same as always.
No, the only thing Nate cared about right now was his new best friend.
No one knew about his new best friend. No one had a clue. He’d gone to his mom about five times in the past day, trying to tell her but just couldn’t get it out.
Then he had to go to school, and he worried and worried all day. He thought he could make it through the week, but after the third day of school and all the worrying—he knew he couldn’t go manage things alone. So after school he went to his grandma. She would understand, for sure. But when he got to her house, he peeked in and saw her and grandpa arguing.
That only left Uncle Logan.
Of all the adults in the family, Uncle Logan was the newest. He barely knew him, in fact. But he trusted the guy. He was a good guy, Nate could just tell. He didn’t yell at you or talk at you like you were a little kid. He owned up to his mistakes. He played catch without a lot of jabbering.
Nate ran back to his house. Mom was dealing with the kids, getting snacks and drinks and trying to get Levi to stop crying.
“Mom!” Nate shouted above the noise.
“What?” she said. She looked annoyed.
“Where’s Uncle Logan?”
She looked at him like he was crazy. “How should I know?”
“You two are always together.”
“That is not true, Nate. That’s not even remotely… We’re not…” She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. “He’s either at the main house, down at the barn, or I don’t know.”
The barn?
Nate turned and ran. He had to stop and close the back door because he didn’t want to get yelled at for that again. Then, he leaped off the back porch and ran like The Flash through the back field and to the barn. The barn doors were open. Nate stopped, his feet sliding on the straw.
There was Dirty Harry and Pixie, in their stalls like normal. Nate held his breath, same as he had everyday he’d gone there after school. In an empty stall in the back, he’d made a bed of blankets and straw for his new best friend. He’d left him a bowl of food and a bowl of water. Every day so far, he came in and found his best friend waiting for him. But befor
e that, he held his breath because he was scared he might not be there. That he might have decided to go back to where he came from.
Nate made his way to the empty stall and let out his breath.
There he was. About fifty pounds, matted-up, shaggy hair, tongue lolled out, and tail wagging.
“Hey, Wolf,” Nate said.
Wolf barked.
Nate fell to his knees and hugged Wolf. “I’m gonna get you some help,” Nate said. “I just gotta find someone I can trust. And we’ll get you to the doctor. And a collar with a name tag. And I’m gonna talk Mom into letting you sleep in my room. She’ll want you clean first, though. So that means a bath. Maybe the doctor can do that.”
“I see you two have met.”
Nate turned. Uncle Logan stood tall with a ball cap shadowing his face. He had a plastic bag in one hand.
“I was looking for you,” Nate said.
Uncle Logan tilted his head a little.
“I thought you might be able to help me with Wolf.”
“Wolf.”
“That’s his name.”
“Did Wolf come with a collar? Or did you name him?”
“I named him.”
“How long has Wolf been living here?”
“I don’t know. A few weeks maybe. Since Saturday.”
“‘Since Saturday’ is only four days.”
“Okay. So four days, then.” Nate didn’t like being corrected. He scratched behind Wolf’s ears a bit.
Uncle Logan knelt on Wolf’s other side and patted him. “Well…I got Wolf some medicine. And some shampoo so we can give him a bath. And a toothbrush and toothpaste.”
Nate looked at Uncle Logan. He didn’t smile much. He wasn’t smiling now. But he always seemed calm and friendly. “How’d you know he needed a bath?”
Uncle Logan looked at him. “See how he’s always scratching?”
“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t know how you knew.”
“I’ve been around longer than you, kid. I know about dogs.”
“Oh. Okay.” Nate shrugged. “Well, do you know about moms? Because baths and teeth brushing is the easy part.”
