by Ava D. Dohn
* * *
“Oh my! Oh my! Oh, what fun! Oh, what fun!” Ogust clapped his hands in excitement and then hugged Jusslin, grinning with pleasure. He nodded his approval, praising Claudesius. “Wonderful! Just so wonderful! I knew you would deliver a fine show for me. But you have even outdone any I have seen in Rome, itself! This must have been very costly, and all done for me!” He grinned wide, revealing rotting teeth. “You are a better man than I was thinking.”
Claudesius smiled back, acknowledging Ogust’s condescending approval, but his mind was elsewhere. Strange, the circus was once a most enjoyable pastime of his, few things being more pleasurable other, say, than his torture of some disgusting miscreant or the excitement over a frightened maiden’s embrace. He shuddered, the thought of such criminality turning his stomach sour.
Today, for the first time in his sordid memory, Claudesius could see the suffering and agony of both men and beasts. The wild pageantry of carnage and death sickened him as he watched the lives of the victims play out in his head. The people whose lives were snuffed out so quickly, never to eat another tasty meal, see another sunrise, make love to a beautiful woman, just to never think, breath, or laugh again, and for what? A few minutes of chills and thrills for a heartless gathering of bastards who pushed their own friends and relatives back into the waiting jaws of death for that moment’s excitement? He cursed himself under his breath, almost wishing to be the center of attention at tonight’s party. But that was not to be.
Earlier, when two eastern tigers had captured a young man, little more than a boy, and torn him asunder at the very base of grand review box, Ogust and Jusslin had both celebrated the governor’s ‘magnificent presentation’, toasting him with ‘long life to the house of Claudesius’, lifting wine-filled goblets to his good health.
Treston suddenly appeared at the head of the stairs, motioning to the governor. Ogust and Jusslin were so absorbed in the ever-changing show, they paid no attention to either the governor or Treston.
Hiding his anxiety, Claudesius cautiously made his way over, asking of Treston, nervously, “Does the child still live? Does she live unharmed, or has the Devil delivered her up to this?” He lifted a hand, motioning to the tumult still playing itself out in the arena.
Treston nodded Ishtar’s safety, wiping bloodied sweat from his brow. He shook his head. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know...”
He looked the governor in the face, attempting to cover fear showing in his own. “There’s something down there.” He pointed. “In there, I mean, in that darkness. It felt as if Hell itself rose up to meet the living. I believed I was to die, that all of us would die. My guards could feel it, too. By the gods, everyone could feel it! Everything went crazy! It just went crazy!”
Claudesius placed a reassuring hand on Treston’s shoulder, encouraging him to remain calm. “Please. Tell me what happened. And don’t leave out a thing. You say the girl is safe, even now?”
Treston said it was so, and then attempted his account, his eyes filling with excitement and fear. The governor marveled, thinking about the man speaking to him. Godless, arrogant, heartless, and even worse, that was Treston, but honest and loyal – at least knowing what side his bread was buttered on. He had heard this man curse the gods to their faces on many drunken occasions. It was difficult to believe this was the same person speaking to him now.
“Well… uh, well….” Treston stuttered while collecting his thoughts. He finally began anew. “Well… I had only just returned to my guard, who were successfully managing to keep those wishing harm to Ishtar away. Oh yes, there were vile threats and a few brave souls daring to spit at the girl, but my men did their jobs, as promised.” Treston was proud of his personal bodyguard, trusting those four soldiers with his life and treating them like brothers.
“No sooner was I arrived than I felt this most unholy chill pass me by, filling my heart with unnatural panic. It was evil, my Lord, like something… or someone… filled with hateful malice, something like I’ve heard in stories told of demons, or those that are dead but seeking revenge and haunt the shadow-worlds of the living. Anyway, the faces of my men went ghostly white. I imagine mine did, too. But not that girl! No! No! Not Ishtar!”
Treston swept his hand across his forehead, wiping away nervous sweat. “I swear I saw the girl’s hair stir, like someone was standing close a’ talking in her ear, or something. She smiled and closed her eyes and… and…”
“And what?!” Claudesius’ voice was filling with excitement. “What?! Tell me man! And what?!”
“And…” Treston shuddered. “And then it looked at me!” He waved his hands anxiously. “I didn’t see anything, but I could see where something was, standing there, I mean. Something looked at me and screamed in my head. ‘Get!’ At that instant Ishtar grabbed my hand and shouted for us to follow her if we wanted to live. Nobody asked her why. We all just ran, she in the lead, pulling on me, and my boys following up real close behind.”
Ogust glanced Treston’s way, saying nothing. Forcing back his feelings, he motioned toward the shadows. Claudesius quietly shuffled behind Treston to a more private spot.
Treston went on, his hands trembling as he talked. “We were just at the top landing, near the jailer’s station, not far from the upper gallery exit, when Ishtar shouted for us to stop. She told us to circle her, holding each other close and then not to move - that is if we wanted to keep alive. We all pressed real tight against her, me staring her square in the eyes, so close I could feel her warm breath on my face. The girl then took hold of my arms and whispered something real strange to the air. And then…and then all Hell broke loose!”
Interrupting, Claudesius anxiously asked, “What happened?! What happened then?”
Tears of nervous release ran down Treston’s face. “Some kind of madness swept the chambers like the Kriggerman and his army of the damned was entered among us! A howling that rent the air went up from all the birds and beasts, the people holding their ears from the ferocity of the noise. It was so frightening, my Lord, so frightening I cried. Like a little bratling baby, I cried. I wept like an old hag woman at losing her children, almost wettin’ myself. And… and I saw more than one old man keel right over dead from fright. Just over dead, like that!” He snapped his fingers.
“Then the cage doors just broke open, falling right off their hinges. There was something in the air! I felt it - an unholiness that raged those chambers, driving everything and everyone mad. The last thing I saw, for my eyes refused to keep a watch any longer, was when those giant bears came tearing past, piling into the wagons and dogs like they were little sticks of kindling. I just stood there after that, standing there, wailing, my eyes shut so tight, me and my men all a cryin’ and wailin’. We were all like little babies.”
Treston sighed, lowering his head in shame. “When the danger was passed, it was the girl who had to get us to move. It took some convincing, but finally we took the exit door and hurried up here. I couldn’t think of anything else to do but bring Ishtar along with us. Dressed the way she was, nobody bothered to take notice of us.”
Claudesius grinned. “Good! Good! You say she’s here.”
Treston pointed toward the stairs. “She’s just outside, with my guards.”
Still grinning, Claudesius grasped Treston’s upper arm. “Good! Good! You did well today, my friend, well! Take Ishtar to the alcove the other side of these walls...” He glanced over his shoulder. “away from fat, prying ears. I will be along in a minute or so.”
It was an easy matter for Claudesius to escape Ogust’s and Jusslin’s company, their attention so wrapped up in the ensuing fight between the newly arrived soldiers and the wild, raging animals. He quickly entered the alcove and, after breathing a sigh of relief at seeing Ishtar safe, thanked the guards for their stalwart actions. After requesting they station themselves outside, he approached the girl, Tresto
n standing beside her.
The governor’s hands went to Ishtar’s, he lifting them up while looking into her face. “Please!” He pleaded. “Tell me truth. Are you a goddess sent here to test us? This, for a certainty, I must know.”
Ishtar smiled, her serenity unnerving. She shook her head. “I am a child born of man, my soul being birthed in most ordinary ways. Speak to that woman, my mother. She can tell you of my birth, my conception. Women do remember who father their children. Ask her. Is she not here this day?”
No one replied.
Ishtar shook her head again. “I am no goddess. I am a child of flesh and bone. My home has been this city these many years. Your captain here…” She nodded toward Treston. “knows well the history of my life, he pressing the coin into my father’s hand many times while I played as a child inside his booth on a brightly colored carpet.”
Shocked, Treston began to recall the many trinkets he purchased for his wife and little daughter from a man wearing a turban with a large feather in it. He spoke aloud, but to himself. “You were the child who made silly faces at me the day I bought that silken scarf for my wife, me putting it on and prancing around in funning.”
Ishtar agreed, replying to the governor. “You see? I am a child of your world. This city has been my home until today, but now I must take my leave for another. What I am, my Lord, is a woman-child, spoilt some say. What I am to become remains hidden in mist and shadow. My destiny awaits me; it pants on toward its finish.” She gave Claudesius a piercing stare. “And you must now hurry that destiny forward!”
Opening his mouth to make rebuttal, Ishtar raised her hand to the governor, shaking her head. “Your destiny is still uncertain. Do not bring the anger of my God down upon your people at this late hour.”
At that, Ishtar lifted her arms back and over her head, pulling her dress up and off. After carefully folding it, she handed it over to a startled and dismayed governor. “Here...” She pressed the garment into Claudesius’ hands. “Return this please, to the one it was made for, thanking her for it. Tell her that she is a woman blessed. She will one day again nurse her beloved son, her firstborn so dear to her heart, the child taken away in sickness.”
Claudesius was struck speechless, for that child lost was many years ago and in a land strange and foreign to the people of Ephesus. Ishtar smiled, watching the effect her words had on the governor. Touching the dress, she declared, “I am a free woman! I will not be indebted to any man or flesh! Naked I came into the world and naked I shall find my leave.”
Then, reaching up and touching the governor’s cheek, soothing it in the way his mother did when he was but a child, Ishtar cautioned softly, “Remember this day and all you witnessed. Rare does the God over Heaven and Hell treat your kind with such tenderness. You have the soul to be a good man, and my God has cleansed your spirit and flesh of all wickedness. There is no longer any excuse for evil deeds. Do you, man born from woman, have the heart to remain cleansed before the God of all things?” She shrugged. “Your future is yours to choose. You are not destined for good or ill. But this hour is your master. Your duty is upon you. It begs no parley.”
At that, Ishtar became silent, speaking no other words in the governor’s ears.
Claudesius groaned in sadness, addressing Ishtar. “Should the choice be mine, I would trade places and put myself upon the judgment seat. I am a man ridden with evil guilt - a murdering, vile man, fit for nothing, traitor to my own sworn oath of rulership. Who is there like you, guileless and holy, majestic and sublime in power and glory? May your God have mercy on us…the many, the wicked, callous and cruel. It is I who was born blind and dumb and still remain as such. May your God forgive me… may you forgive me this terrible day I have heaped upon you. A goddess you are to me, but… but…”
A tear rolled down Claudesius’ cheek as he lowered his head, choking out his final words. “You have given me no choice, no alternative, no way out. You… you… your God has blocked my path.”
