“I know, E. It really is screwed up, isn’t it?” He kissed my lips. “I really do love you. My smart, beautiful, woman.”
Judson had dubbed me E and Trace confirmed it. I was a Letter, and I had all the information I was going to need to strike. My way.
18
I used to hate being on airplanes. I still didn’t love it, but since I’d spent the whole night waiting for someone to burst through the door and drag me off to who knew where, I was tired enough to not really care where I spent the day. I’d kept the guys away from me. If Alyssa wanted to send a goon in or fuck with me herself they weren’t standing in the way. Plus, I really felt like we were all better off watching our own backs for one night. We looked like less of a threat individually than we did as a group. Better she thought we weren’t united.
For me, I knew I was less likely to screw up saying something that they’d hear, something I would wish I hadn’t said. Of course, the tradeoff for that was that I didn’t sleep.
The plane buzzed, and I didn’t feel like sleeping now either.
Derrick didn’t have that issue. With his legs stretched out before him, he dozed in his chair like people who would kill him in a heartbeat didn’t surround him. The dark circles under Kade’s eyes told me he had also not gotten any sleep. He looked out the window, ignoring any attempt Mercer made to speak to him. It was interesting watching their interactions from a distance. Mercer had beaten Kade twice now, but it was like he wanted Kade’s attention. I chewed on my lip and watched.
They were roughly the same age, but it was like hero worship. Mercer wanted Kade to be proud of him, to work with him on something. That was good information to have. I wondered if Kade knew, and I couldn’t ask him.
If it was possible, Judson was paler than even the day before. He was starting to look like a ghost, as though seeing his sister alive was sucking the life right out of him. He sat next to me, staring at the floor. On my other side, Warden read a book he’d found on the plane. It looked like some kind of thriller.
Trace winked at me from across the plane. “How you doing, E?”
“I’m just fine, T.” I winked back at him.
This seemed to set Alyssa off. She’d been quiet since we’d boarded but now she started chatting again. I didn’t really listen to what she said. It was something about the life she was going to have when she came out to the Alliance. Marcus was going to bring her onto the Council. I tilted my head, less interested in what she was saying than what she wasn’t.
How were she and I alike and how were we different? Well, I could start cataloging the differences now and write a book about it. But fundamentally, she and I had both endured Ben’s basement. When it came down to it, I was pretty sure that she was still there.
I changed from chewing on my lip to biting on my fingernail. Now wasn’t the time for me to use that insight, just to hold onto it. We had a long flight ahead of us, and I wasn’t knocked out on medicine that would make me not know the hours ahead. I needed to rest. Exhaustion wasn’t going to help me, and it wasn’t going to make this easier on Kade either. Or Judson.
Reaching out, I stroked the side of J’s face. “Take a nap.”
“I don’t think I can sleep.” He linked my finger in his. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Our mother used to sing him to sleep. Isn’t that sweet? That was the only way Judson could get a good night’s sleep.”
I put my head on his shoulder. “Okay if I put my head here or too much pressure?”
He leaned his head on top of mine. “It’s fine.”
Something about what I’d done stopped her from talking. I didn’t care to analyze it too much. I stayed like that on his shoulder, not moving. Warden reached out without lifting his gaze from his book to place his hand on my knee. He squeezed. That movement might have meant anything. It could have been an indication he liked that I was trying to take care of Judson or a signal to stop. I was too tired to try to figure out all of this non-verbal communication. I was going to take it as Warden just wanting to touch me and leave it at that.
I didn’t want a gunfight on this plane. I wanted to open the lock and have Alyssa go away. If that couldn’t happen exactly that way, then so be it. I’d deal with it then. I was starting to understand her better. Judson jerked slightly in his chair then settled down, shifting his head until I could feel his breath on my forehead. If he’d fallen asleep, I didn’t dare wake him by moving. I had no choice. I just had to go to sleep, even with Alyssa on the plane and fifteen armed guards ready to kill us all.
* * *
“Everly.” Warden’s voice in my ear woke me. There was movement. Everyone was rising, and I realized I didn’t feel the plane moving. We’d landed, and it hadn’t even roused me. That was really saying something.
My waking up must have jarred Judson because he lifted his head. He yawned and leaned back in his seat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
“I fell asleep, too.”
Alyssa looked like she hadn’t wrinkled at all. “So this is going to be how this works. Mercer owns an apartment in Manhattan. We’re going there. Well, the guys are going with my guards. I don’t feel like delaying this inevitable again. Let’s go get this done then we can all go back to the apartment and celebrate.”
She seemed to have completely forgot the whole we were never going to see her again bit of this arrangement. Alyssa was lonely. She wanted us to big one happy family while she took over the Alliance like she’d completely forgotten she tried to kill two of my guys.
I rubbed my eyes as Derrick spoke. “I’m not leaving her. I’m not going to some apartment while you go off with Everly.”
“Consider that spoken from all of us.” Warden rose. He looked strong, healthy. If his arm hurt him, he gave no indication. “She isn’t going off with any of you alone.”
That was when the men with guns all rose as one. It was an impressive show and one I wondered if they’d practiced.
I held up my hand. “Alyssa, we made some agreements. Everyone heard you make them. You claim to have loved Ben, to have made him yours, and I believe you on that. If Ben was anything, he was honest. What he said he was going to do he did, right?” I stepped toward her. “He said he’d burn me with a cigarette, he did that. He said he was going to slice up my back, that happened. He said he was going to tie me up and leave me on the porch all night to almost freeze to death, that happened.” I hoped some of this triggered a reminder in her. It was sick that I was doing this, but I’d do whatever I had to right now.
“He helped make you,” I continued. “So you should be living up to your word, too. We agreed that you would leave us alone. I expect you to live up to that.”
She didn’t smile when she spoke to me. “I don’t break my word. If you want to be left alone that is what you will be. But you will live to regret it.”
I gifted her with a fake smile. “Great. Let’s get this done. If they can’t come then you don’t get anyone else either. Just you and me.”
Alyssa nodded. “That’s fair.”
It really wasn’t, but I’d emotionally manipulated her into not knowing what she was doing. That was a dirty trick, but I was willing to play that way if needed. It seemed her guys either didn’t notice or they didn’t correct her. Whatever was going on with Alyssa’s men it wasn’t love, at least not in the way I understood love to be.
Were they so dependent on her that they just did whatever she said even if she was wrong? Someone should have been telling her that I had no right to order her around in a kidnapping situation. But her loss was my gain.
The Alliance was powerful, but it seemed to be by emotionally stunting themselves, by sidelining the women in their lives until they could never really know them, never really love them, never share their lives fully; they had left themselves vulnerable to emotional manipulation disguised as love and presented in the form of sex.
I didn’t think I’d done that to my guys.
They seemed perfectly fin
e informing me I had to do things differently or getting in my face about things. They were also free to leave anytime, as I had been when I’d taken off. I wished Alyssa could have done that. The day I’d stepped away from those I’d loved to give myself space to rediscover who it was that I wanted to be was the day I’d finally gotten out of Ben’s basement.
Of course I did have a tendency to find sympathy for my kidnappers, so maybe it could have been that.
But I liked my explanation better.
I followed Alyssa out of the plane, pausing to stare at each of my guys as I did. “Ready to be done with all of this? Because if you want something different now is the time to let me know.”
“Just be safe, Everly.” It was Kade who spoke for them. “I don’t like you going alone but at least it’s just the two of you. Be… extra cautious.”
I nodded at him. “You guys, too. I love you.”
“Isn’t that sweet?” Alyssa twirled her hand in the air. “You guys are so ridiculously verbal. Judson wasn’t raised like this. It’s just not done.”
He leaned against the side of the plane. “Love you, Everly.”
I covered my mouth to stop from laughing. Derrick did one better, he pulled me to him and kissed me straight on the lips. “Listen to me carefully. In all ways that matter in the universe, I love you. I didn’t know I could love like this. Be careful.”
Warden grinned as he pulled me from Derrick. “You’re going to hear about this later from me. I don’t like that you’re doing this alone, because I love you.”
“Okay guys.” I shook my head. “Point made.”
“Not quite yet.” Trace hugged me tight to him. “You got this. I saw what you did and well done.” He paused. “My love.”
Alyssa yanked my arm, and I almost punched her in the face. “Oh and obviously if I don’t report back to my loves,” she said the word like it tasted badly in her mouth, “your guys die.”
I rolled my eyes. “Obviously. Let’s just get this over with.”
* * *
Warden
This was going to go very badly. Everly didn’t even realize how badly, but I had enough experience with catastrophes to recognize when I was stepping into one. Oh, sure, we were in a car headed to Manhattan. From the outside, I’m sure it looked like any other SUV filled with people on their way somewhere.
No one would know that inside the car was a driver who worked for Alyssa, Judson, her brother who looked like he was about to have an aneurism, two men hiding guns between their legs, and myself.
I might have preferred to be in the other car with Derrick. At least in that one I could have been certain that if bullets started flying we were the ones firing them.
The third car would have been equally as problematic. Kade hadn’t said anything in days. For all that Alyssa had been Derrick’s fucked up wife, he and Trace were managing this the best of anyone. I ran a hand through my hair. Yes, I would have liked that car better except that someone had to look out for Judson until he pulled himself out of this funk, and that someone was going to be me.
“So how about the state of the markets? Anyone lost any money lately? That’s not my fault. This is just me keeping my hands out of it. What is the world coming to if Alliance men can’t count on at least being secretly wealthy?”
Judson rolled his eyes at me. That was good. That was at least a response. I kept speaking. “So how did you meet Alyssa? Are there dating sites for finding women who have gone off the grid like this? Fake your death dot com?”
The guy next to me shifted in his seat and looked at the floor. Now, that was interesting. He was uncomfortable. Maybe things weren’t as perfect in Alyssa la-la land as she’d have liked everyone to believe. I wondered… People always wanted what they saw others have. I’d made a lot of money in my life knowing this.
You could be worth a billion dollars and you might lose it all because you were so desperate to make two billion since someone else had it. These guys had just met Everly. She wasn’t just sleeping with us; she legitimately loved us. I wasn’t sure how the fuck we’d pulled that off since all five of us were completely unworthy people. But since I loved her more than breathing, I wasn’t going to complain.
I was even going to figure out how we could all be happy forever if only we could get out of this mess.
Judson was going to get an earful about his family when this was all over and I was sure he wasn’t ten seconds away from having a nervous breakdown.
“Hey, Jud, did you see how beautiful Evy was when she left? I mean… don’t you just feel lucky you get to look at her every day?”
He side-eyed me.
Come on, man, catch up to what I’m doing here.
Judson was arguably the smartest out of all of us. Surely, he could…
“When I really feel lucky is first thing in the morning. I never thought I’d like it… sharing a bed with someone. I mean, it used to be that sex was sex. I wanted it and then I wanted them to go home. I even envisioned someday having a life where I could have my wife sleep in another bedroom. But the way she looks when she’s first rising? When she’s not quite awake? The way she clings to me? I’d never trade a second of that. There’s nothing more beautiful than having the woman you love next to you first thing in the morning.”
I swallowed through the lump in my throat. I’d wanted to play this game to manipulate the guards but yeah, he’d nailed that. For that reason alone, I’d be happy to share her with these guys forever. How could I not when they loved her just as hard as I did?
We were all getting out of here alive. So help me. No matter who I had to kill.
* * *
Being alone in a town car driven by someone I didn’t know—and wasn’t at all sure if he was Alliance—with Alyssa was hell. Fortunately, without the audience of her brother and Derrick, she didn’t talk.
Instead, she looked out the window. About twenty minutes into the drive, she finally said something. “I’ve always loved Manhattan.”
“Have you gotten here much in the last years?”
She sighed. “Ben brought me once. We’ve had to be somewhat remote. But no matter. I’ve clearly been able to run things from afar. Soon, I can come out of the shadows.”
“How did that work exactly? Ben would just bring men home and you’d what… seduce them?”
Alyssa tugged on the edge of her hair. “Did you know that I went to the best schools in the world? The very best boarding schools to start. I’d see Judson on holidays since they were, of course, not co-educational. Just the women. From there, Harvard. I started graduate school there, too.” She looked out the window. “Did you go to college? I suppose I should know that… oh, yes, you just graduated.”
Where was she going with this? “Yes, I did.”
“I tell you this because I want you to understand that I’m smart. Ridiculously so.”
Of that, I’d had no doubt. But it wasn’t because of her resume. The circumstances upon which she’d been born, the money she had, that had gone a long way to open doors that allowed her to use that intellect. That only made the decisions that she made that much more difficult.
She tugged once again on her hair. “In the end, seducing a man is easy. I wanted to be Alliance. I wished it more than anything in the world but do you know what I’ve found? They’re all lost little boys. Every one of them, even Ben who had more spirit than most.”
Every time she spoke of Ben, I wanted to choke her. My hands actually itched to do so. But I had to get through this so strangling would have to wait until later. I wasn’t going to be dealing with Alliance after this, but so help me, I might just kill her in ten years when I showed up on her doorstep and stabbed her in the eye.
It was ridiculous that I felt so much better having those thoughts than the ones I’d been having. I actually preferred feeling deadly. It was healthier. Despondent and slightly panicked really didn’t work for me.
“Is that so?” I wanted to keep her talking. This was information collect
ion. If life was kind to me, and it rarely was lately, I wouldn’t need to know any of this stuff. But if I had to continue to manipulate her emotionally without her knowing it and turn this into a long con that even Trace could be proud of, then I had to keep this going.
“Haven’t you found that?” She turned to look at me. “Even my brother, right? They’re so needy in a way I have to believe can’t be true of all men everywhere. The ants are luckier than the Alliance men. They don’t have any idea that they don’t have at least a semblance of control over their lives and they get to make connections with their loved ones. The Alliance takes all of that.” She shrugged. “Surely you must see that Everly. You control them by leading them around by their dicks. I get it. And it’s not even hard to do.” She laughed. “Sorry, bad pun.”
That wasn’t even a really good pun. That was the equivalent of a fart joke. Not that I didn’t sometimes love a good fart joke. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood.
“I don’t control them.” I had nothing to lose in this conversation. “I never did, never could. We’re a team. That’s how this works for us. I’m not any more important than the rest of them. Whatever I’m doing I’m not getting it done by sex. They’re hugely more experienced in that regard than me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, never underestimate the power of the virginal girl.”
Now it was my turn to laugh maniacally. “I wasn’t a virgin. I can promise you that. Not a virgin. Not even close to one.”
“I wasn’t talking about your hymen and whether or not you broke it or how many times you had your clit rubbed.” She scooted closer to me, running her hand through my hair. “I’m talking about your soul. When they met you, your soul was a virgin. And boy, is that the most addictive thing in the world. You caught them in your net, and you didn’t even mean to.”
Deadly Truths: Kiss Her Goodbye #3 Page 21
