Jon walks across the parking lot towards the grocery store. Herman is on Jon’s shoulder.
JON
How do we do this?
HERMAN
I have a clipboard with a
checklist.
JON
Where did you get that? What’s
it for?
HERMAN
For you to pretend to be a
health inspector.
JON
I don’t pass for that.
Herman holds a grey jacket and a white dress shirt.
JON
You’ve gotta be kidding me.
INT. 24 HOUR GROCERY STORE – NIGHT
Jon walks in wearing a white dress shirt with a grey jacket overtop. Herman hides in the pocket. He passes the checkout counter and the EMPLOYEE leans over his counter and stares at the back of Jon. Jon walks into
INT. GROCERY STORE VEGETABLE AISLE – NIGHT
He stops and stares at cucumbers.
JON
I haven’t had these in a long
time.
HERMAN
Have one now, Jon. This is all
free for you. Soon no one will
question your power.
Jon grabs a CUCUMBER.
CUCUMBER
(screams)
NO----
Jon drops the cucumber. Through Jon’s POV it has arms and legs and it runs away.
CUCUMBER
(screams)
I want to live! I want to live!
At the end of the aisle is the employee. He sees Jon with his right hand out in front of him with a cookie on it, and a cucumber rolls across the floor.
HERMAN
Don’t eat that one.
JON
I won’t. It screams.
Herman climbs down Jon’s leg. It walks over to the cucumber. Herman mumbles to the cucumber. Herman pat’s the cucumber’s back. The cucumber smiles.
JON
What just happened?
HERMAN
I told her you are the new king to
prevent humans from taking away
their family and friends. You will
only eat those who defy you.
JON
What of they all obey me? Do I
never eat?
Jon picks up Herman and places it on his shoulder.
HERMAN
(whispers)
They are lesser creatures, Jon.
You may eat them.
Close up of Jon’s eyes. They are very red and huge grey circles are underneath.
CUT TO:
Clips of Jon in the grocery store:
1. He runs up one aisle, turns and runs down the next aisle.
2. He hops on a shopping cart and stands while it rolls down the aisle.
3. He knocks over tea boxes on a shelf while he runs.
4. He puts chocolate milk into a shopping basket casually when the employee watches him in the distance.
5. He has his mouth open underneath the bulk candy dispenser. He opens the latch and candy pours out.
6. He sits on the ground in the vegetable aisle and has tea with the cucumber, a carrot, broccoli, eggplant, and a PEA. 7. He pours chocolate milk into a cup of tea.
PEA
Thank you.
8. Jon walks into the bakery. The lights dim. Disco lights are on. A disco ball comes down from the ceiling. Disco music plays. Jon makes a dance pose and all the vegetables, baked goods, juices, etc., appear. They all have faces and limbs. They all dance. The employee walks by the bakery and watches. He sees Jon twirl his grey coat above his head. There are groceries scattered all over the bakery.
CUT TO:
INT. GROCERY STORE CHECKOUT COUNTER – NIGHT
Jon walks up to the check-out counter.
EMPLOYEE
Are you okay?
JON
No. I need your new cookie mix
discontinued.
EMPLOYEE
And who authorized that?
JON
My supervisor.
EMPLOYEE
You can’t fool me. You were here
a few days ago.
JON
I’m on duty now.
EMPLOYEE
This late at night?
JON
It’s a flexible schedule.
There is a pause. His eyes get shifty.
JON
Just pass the message along,
alright?
EMPLOYEE
Oh, I will.
JON
Thanks.
Jon makes a giant checkmark onto his checklist and hands it to the employee. Jon exits the grocery store.
INT. JON’S BEDROOM – NOON
Jon wakes up and sits upright in his bed. He looks worse from the day before. His hair is up. Matt walks in from the hallway and leans on the doorway.
MATT
Dude, your house is a total mess.
JON
How’d you get in here?
MATT
The front door.
Jon rubs his eyes.
MATT
It was unlocked.
Jon looks frantically around his room worried.
JON
Herman? Herman?
MATT
Who’s Herman?
JON
He’s my new friend.
MATT
Oh yeah, right. You mentioned
him before. Awesome, he should
come to the party too.
JON
If I can find him.
MATT
(yells)
Herman. Get in here.
JON
(yells)
Herman.
Matt goes over to the plate on the floor next to the bed and picks it up.
MATT
Can I have this?
JON
(excitedly)
Herman.
Matt looks confused and hands the plate to Jon.
MATT
Have you been taking your meds?
JON
I don’t need them.
MATT
Right. Have a shower and I’ll
meet you downstairs.
INT. JON’S KITCHEN – DAY
Matt puts dishes into the dishwasher. Jon enters the kitchen.
JON
So, what are we doing today?
MATT
How can you forget? We’re getting
ready for the house party.
JON
Oh yeah. Does it have to be here?
MATT
Yes. Don’t question anymore.
EXT. JON’S HOUSE – DAY
Matt walks down the porch steps while Jon locks the front door. Molly is at Sandra’s front lawn. She sees the two men exit the house and runs over.
MOLLY
Hi.
MATT
Hey, Molly.
Molly blows some bubbles. Jon walks on over.
MOLLY
Whatcha up to?
MATT
We’re gonna get ready for a party
in a few days.
Molly and Matt high five.
MOLLY
Can I come?
MATT
Sorry little lady, this is for
grownups only.
MOLLY
Awe. No fair.
JON
You can come to the mall with us.
MOLLY
Really? What about stupid Herman?
JON
He’s not stupid. And he’s not
coming.
MOLLY
Okay. Lemme ask mom.
Molly giv
es her bottle of bubbles to Matt and runs back to Sandra’s and enters the house.
MATT
Oh, I get it. It’s a game. I was
worried about you for a second
about this Herman.
Jon stares at Matt and says nothing. Molly comes back out of Sandra’s house with Sandra.
JON
Hey, Sandra.
SANDRA
I hear you’re taking Molly to the
mall.
JON
Yeah. Do you wanna come too?
MOLLY
Yeah mommy!
SANDRA
I got a photo shoot soon. Sorry.
Jon runs over to Sandra. He puts his hand on Molly’s head.
JON
Hey, umm… do you… ummm… want to
have dinner with me tonight?
SANDRA
Yeah, sure. We haven’t really
talked and hung out for a long
time.
JON
Doug won’t mind?
SANDRA
You’re my friend. He can’t keep
me from having a social life.
JON
See you tonight.
Jon picks up Molly and puts her on his shoulders.
MOLLY
Wee! See you mommy!
Sandra waves. Jon walks over to Matt. Matt is blowing bubbles.
INT. PARTY SUPPLIES STORE – DAY
Jon, Molly, and Matt enter the party supplies store and Molly runs towards a bin of stuffed toys.
MOLLY
Are you sure this is a party for
grownups?
JON
Yes.
MOLLY
Sure doesn’t seem like it.
JON
We’re not going to buy stuffed
toys.
(pause)
How about this, you can pick out
anything in this store.
MOLLY
Really?
JON
Really.
Molly cheers and runs off to another bin of toys. Jon’s POV: Jon looks down at the bin below him. A STUFFED BEAR starts moving. It looks up.
STUFFED BEAR
Hey, Jon.
JON
How do you know my name?
STUFFED BEAR
The vegetables are yakkers, ya
know?
JON
But, the grocery store isn’t
attached to the mall.
STUFFED BEAR
People still pass through here.
MATT (O.S.)
Hey, c’mere.
Jon walks away from bin slowly.
STUFFED BEAR
Hey, why don’t you take over this
place! Don’t back away! You can
help us too!
Jon turns around. End Jon’s POV. He walks towards Matt.
MATT
(points to sign)
What do you think if we hire a DJ?
The sign indicates “We do DJ Rentals!” and has prices listed.
JON
That’s pricey. Renting the
speakers and hooking it up to my
laptop would be better. No DJ
needed. Just play the tracks.
MATT
Woah, technicalities. That’s why
you’re the editor man. Okay, we
rent the speakers. Anything else?
JON
Alcohol. Lots of it.
MATT
Dude, we’re gonna get hammered.
I should call up our old college
buddies.
JON
You never went to college.
MATT
But, we went to a lot of parties!
Molly walks up next to Jon and Matt.
MATT
Hey, whatcha got there?
MOLLY
It’s an art kit.
(to Jon)
You said I can pick out anything
from the store.
JON
Yup.
MATT
Okay, let’s rent this!
CUT TO:
INT. MALL -- FOOD COURT – DAY
The three are sitting and eating food. Around them are over 10 bags of alcohol and a giant keg of beer. Matt and Molly high five.
JON (V.O.)
Little does Matt know the alcohol
is for me and hopefully I won’t
seem odd talking to myself all
the time.
A WITCH then appears behind Matt. She cackles. Jon glares at her. Matt and Molly do not hear or see the witch.
JON (V.O.)
Hey witch!
The witch looks up.
JON (V.O.)
Yeah, I’m talking to you.
The witch wiggles her fingers around Matt’s head.
JON (V.O.)
Keep away from my friend.
Jon makes a shooing motion with his hands.
WITCH
(manly low voice)
Oh fine. You’re no fun.
The witch walks away.
MOLLY
Can I have ice cream?
JON
Sure, on the way back.
INT. JON’S HOUSE – DAY
Jon opens the front door and enters the house. Molly and Matt follow. The door closes. They put their bags onto the floor.
The DOORBELL RINGS. Jon opens the door to reveal a DELIVERY MAN. He’s holding a clipboard and has a package on the ground.
DELIVERY MAN
Hello, I have a package for Jon
Castillo.
JON
That’s me.
The Delivery Man hands his clipboard to Jon.
DELIVERY MAN
Sign here.
Jon signs.
DELIVERY MAN
Thank you!
He takes the clipboard back and hands the package to Jon. The Delivery Man walks halfway onto the pathway and then stops. He is then beamed up into a bright light. Jon closes the door. The package has a label “Space Delivery.”
MATT
Who was it?
Jon
Delivery guy.
Jon opens the package. He pulls out flighlight slippers. Molly runs over.
MOLLY
Cool.
MATT
Why did you buy it?
JON
Saw it on the shopping network.
Molly turns a switch on the slipper and light comes out of the toe of it.
JON
Might come in handy. Lady on the
show said it was a must have and
can prevent tripping.
They walk into
JON’S KITCHEN
Jon grabs the slipper from Molly.
JON
It’s not a toy Molly. It’s adult
stuff.
Molly looks saddened.
MOLLY
Can we do something fun?
MATT
We’re gonna clear out space for
the party.
MOLLY
No not that.
JON
Then what?
Jon sits down on the couch in the living room.
MOLLY
We still haven’t edited the rest
of the movie.
MATT
You didn’t finish yet? I thought
you were done?
JON
Ignore her. She’s delusional.
MOLLY
You meanie.
JON
Go sit in a corner or something.
Molly goes to the plate in the living room and grabs it.
MOLLY
I
have Herman.
JON
That’s not him.
Molly opens her mouth. She moves the cookie to her mouth.
JON
(franticly)
Hey. Stop that.
Jon gets up and Molly runs to Matt in the kitchen.
MOLLY
He didn’t finish editing, Matt.
JON
She lies!
Jon runs into the kitchen.
JON
Do you want the slippers? Is
that it?
HERMAN
Help me Jon! She’s crazy.
MATT
Dude, you go edit the movie. I’ll
go set up.
MOLLY
I just want to have fun with
you Jon, like always. You’ve
become weird.
Molly opens the patio door and runs…
OUTSIDE
She climbs onto the fence and sits. Jon runs outside, frantically.
Molly puts the cookie into her mouth and bites a bit of it.
HERMAN
(horrific scream)
AAHHHH-----
Jon runs to the fence.
JON
(yells)
Herman!
Molly finishes off the cookie. Jon pushes Molly off the fence and she lands on her side. Cries are heard and Sandra is seen coming out of her backyard patio.
SANDRA
(yells)
Molly.
Sandra goes over to the fallen Molly and picks her up. There are scratches on her and she is a bit dirty. Molly is crying.
Perception or The Oatmeal Cookie & Michelle's Mind Page 8
