With a shrug, Roman slid to his feet to prowl around the room. He felt like a caged animal since he was unable to leave the library. Vanora and Alisha had promised to keep Rhonda out of this area of the house. Glancing at his watch, he wondered how long it would be before Rhonda departed.
“Roman, I realize that you want a certain life for Vanora, but she may choose another road to travel.” Armando returned the book to the shelf and selected another.
“I wanted her to stay here, you know,” Roman admitted. “Attend college in Houston and live at home. It was Alisha who insisted we should encourage her to leave. That living here with us may not what’s best for her anymore. There is so much for her to do and experience away from us. Yet…”
“You want to protect her.”
“Yes.” Roman glanced out the window toward the mausoleum. “I also want her to have the life Alisha and I cannot. To live in the light, not the darkness. To find love.”
“You can find love, Roman.” Armando faced Roman. “Vampires do love. Some vampires stay together for centuries, only parted by death. Does being what you are diminish how you feel for your sisters?”
Shaking his head, Roman sighed. “If anything, I feel like I love them more. Like they are my children, not just my sisters. It wounds me to see them hurt in any way. I want to crush anyone who causes them pain.” It was difficult to admit even to himself that on more than one occasion he had considered putting an end to Sin. Roman did not like to admit to the darker aspects of his nature. He prided himself on being in control of his destiny, yet he was trapped in the library by a seventeen-year-old human girl.
“That’s the vampire curse. We cling to the things we love most, but we also can destroy them if we’re not cautious.” Armando slumped into a chair. “Maybe you should keep Vanora in Houston. Maybe not in the house, but nearby. Your love for her is an anchor to your mortal coil.”
“What is your anchor?”
The surprise on Armando’s face was unexpected. “My anchor?”
“Yes, yours.” Roman drew the curtains, blocking out the mausoleum.
Running his fingers lightly through his hair, Armando exhaled slowly. “My career mostly.”
“Really?” Roman wasn’t too sure if his cursory interaction in his family’s business dealings was enough to keep him tethered to the mortal world. There were nights when he drove through Houston just to see that it still existed, but it could be unnerving when his predatory instincts took over. It was too easy to spot prey hurrying through the night. Even a grocery store could bring out his vampire instincts if he saw someone parked far from the entrance.
“You. Alisha. Vanora.” Armando slightly shrugged. “Your law.”
Though Roman was flattered, the answer didn’t satisfy him. “You’ve killed,” Roman said in a low voice. “You know what it’s like to kill and not feel remorse.”
“Yes,” Armando said simply.
“And your friendships and career are enough to keep you from that?” Roman sat across from Armando to better scrutinize his friend’s face. It was a question he had wanted to ask for some time but had been reluctant to utter. The words shone too much light on Roman’s own darkest fears.
“Let me be frank with you. At times it’s not easy. We are predators. Our instinct to hunt never goes away. And once you kill…there is a taste for it. Not just the blood, but all that comes with it. It’s intoxicating. It’s empowering. It’s easy to lose all sense of self to the predator that is within us. Yet, the man who I was when I died remains.” Armando pressed a hand to his chest. “I am still Armando. I am still the man I was when I was mortal. There have been moments when I have lost myself in the more terrible times of my existence, but…” Armando trailed off, his amber eyes growing distant.
“But?” Roman prompted.
“I find my way back. Something or someone comes along that reminds me of who I once was and still am, apart from the hunger. Writing about Spain and the history of the colonies reminds me of my heritage. Being your friend, seeing your struggles, your determination inspires me. Alisha’s artwork reminds me of my own days in the sun.” Armando hesitated. “Seeing Vanora grow into a young woman helps me remember the beauty of humanity.”
Rubbing his face, Roman considered his friend’s words while trying to sort out his own thoughts. “My sisters keep me strong even when the hunger comes. I think of them and I don’t want to fail them. I admit to a certain amount of trepidation about losing Vanora. When she wasn’t here…Alisha and I both struggled.”
Armando tapped his fingers on the armrest. “Then maybe she should stay here.”
Adamantly wagging his head, Roman said, “No, no. She must have the chance to live her own life. Apart from us. This darkness. Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake keeping her here. When she returned from her vacation with her cousins she was so happy.” The mere thought of Vanora being gone and living in the huge house alone with Alisha depressed Roman. “But, perhaps, Vanora leaving will allow me and Alisha to move on. Find a new purpose for ourselves.”
“You have time,” Armando reminded him with a wry smile.
“I miss Norma. She was my girlfriend when I died,” Roman said, surprising himself with his candor. He usually didn’t share this much, but he felt strangely emotional at the thought of all the upcoming changes. “She’s married now with three kids. I felt lost one night and looked her up on that site Alisha’s been on a lot. Facebook? I think it’s new. I don’t know. Alisha had her laptop open, so I looked up Norma. She looked happy.”
“So that’s why you’re so maudlin?”
“Maybe. I suppose it was a vivid reminder of what I lost and can no longer have.”
“But you may one day find love, Roman. Look at Sheila and Alexander. They’ve been together well over a century.”
“What about you, Armando?” Roman stared at his friend, curiosity nibbling at him.
“I’ve had many lovers,” Armando said with a dismissive shrug.
“But actual love?”
“I have avoided it.”
It was an honest answer that was also unexpected.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to lose love again,” Armando answered. “To feel that pain. That loss.”
“So four hundred years…”
Armando gave him a slight nod. “I have been fond of many women and spent years with some of them, but if there was even an inkling I could fall in love with them, I would leave. Always.”
“I don’t think I could do that,” Roman decided. “I would have to give it a chance.”
Armando didn’t respond.
“But I am glad you’re my friend. I thank you for spending the day here so you could speak to Rhonda for me. I trust your opinion.”
“Rhonda cares for Vanora. She’s a good friend. You shouldn’t worry,” Armando said with a slight smile.
Feeling a twinge of guilt over bringing up a difficult and dreary subject matter, Roman said, “I didn’t mean to pry about…your love life.”
“You’re not prying into something I do not have. That I cannot have.” Armando’s voice was flat.
“Maybe one day. For both of us.”
Armando lifted his amber eyes. “For you.”
“Abstaining from love is never a good idea,” Roman declared. He grinned at Armando and went to reclaim his wineglass filled with pig’s blood and wine. “It has a way of finding you when you least expect it. Or maybe that is just what I’m hoping.”
The door clicked open and Alisha poked her head in. “They’re gone. Off to some concert Rhonda’s brother is having.”
“How was the visit?”
Alisha entered the room and crawled over the back of the brocade sofa that Roman had already made a mental note to have reupholstered. It was an older piece of furniture that had been brought from Romania. “Oh, she’s a wild one. She’ll get Vanora out and about in Austin. They’ll be fine. Rhonda is that wild friend every shy girl should have.”
“Wild? I don’t like wild!” Roman frowned, sipping the blood and finding it a bit flat.
“This from the blood-sucking vampire,” Alisha scoffed.
Roman rolled his eyes. “Maybe one of you should go check on them. Make sure they are safe.”
“You’re never going to survive her moving away, are you?” Alisha shook her head.
“Maybe she should stay in Houston,” Armando suggested.
“Oh?” Alisha said in a significant tone.
Armando lifted an eyebrow.
“Am I missing something?” Roman looked at the two in confusion.
“No,” Armando said swiftly.
“Probably,” Alisha said with a wide grin.
“Why do I never know what you’re talking about?” Roman playfully smacked Alisha on the back of the head.
“Because you’re a man. And oblivious. Drink your blood, dear.”
Roman fastened his most stern expression upon his face and leaned toward Alisha. “Are you keeping something from me?”
“Me? Keeping something from you? Oh, no. Not me.” Alisha grinned at Armando.
Armando glanced at his watch. “I need to go. I have a book deadline and I’m behind.”
“Thanks for the advice,” Roman said, watching his friend head toward the door.
Armando merely nodded and slipped out of the library.
“You’re up to something,” Roman said suspiciously to his sister.
“Me?” Alisha plastered a very fake smile on her face. “I’m the picture of innocence.”
“Uh huh.” Roman eyed her suspiciously.
“Let’s go over to Sheila and Alexander’s. They’re having a small party.”
“A date with my sister. How pathetic is that?”
Alisha laid her head on his shoulder. “You know how to make a girl feel special.”
Roman gruffly kissed her forehead. “Fine. Let’s go. Maybe you’ll find yourself a nice vampire boyfriend.”
“Maybe you’ll find yourself a nice vampire girlfriend.”
“That would be nice,” Roman admitted.
The loneliness inside of Roman ached, but a spark of hope started to make it more tolerable. Maybe one day both he and Alisha would find someone to be at their side through the long nights.
38
The club was cramped, hot, and hazy. The smoking ordinance wasn’t going into effect until September, and it was as if everyone was puffing away in anticipation. Rhonda was chain smoking while flirting outrageously with someone far too old for her. Rhonda’s brother, meanwhile, was being his usual creepy self.
“I wrote a new song. It’s the third one in our set. I get very sensual when I sing it. I feel like I’m having sex with the audience,” Trey said, giving her what he thought was a smoldering look. Instead, it just made him even creepier.
“I hope you’re using protection,” Vanora answered, sipping her diet soda.
“What? Oh! Yeah.” Stretching out his long body, Trey swept his wavy blond hair back from his face. “I usually make sure my lovers are on the Pill. That way we can both get maximum pleasure.”
“Uh. Right.” Vanora made a mental note to later threaten Rhonda to within an inch of her life. The last thing she wanted Trey to know was that she’d been on the Pill since fourteen to regulate her periods.
“You know what I mean?” Trey lifted his black tank top to flash his abs while pretending to scratch his chest.
“No. No. I don’t. Not from experience.” Vanora deliberately looked away from him.
“Do you want the experience?” Trey grinned at her rakishly.
“With you? No.” Vanora scoffed at the offer.
“You do realize lots of girls want me. Lots of them.”
“So go bug them,” Vanora answered.
Trey’s smile grew wider, flashing all his teeth. “Oh, I get it. Hard to get.”
Vanora rolled her eyes again, putting a little more drama into the action.
The club was all ages, but there were tons of college age guys hitting on the high school girls and plying them with drinks. Vanora made sure to stay far away from the bar unless she was getting a soda. Lately, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission was on a rampage through the bars, making it difficult for there to be all-ages events. She’d heard rumors that some of the younger employees of TABC posed as college guys to offer younger kids drinks so the bar could get fined. Roman would kill her if she got cited. She didn’t even want to give anyone a chance to accuse her of anything possibly illegal.
Placing his hand on the wall over her head, Trey leaned toward Vanora. “Look, we’ve been doing this song and dance for a while now. I know that you’re a bit hard up in the boy department because of your freaky looks, but I’m totally into it.”
Vanora lifted her eyebrows. “Wow. That was lame.”
Trey shrugged. “I’m being honest. I’m totally dying to see what’s under this.” His hand tugged at the bottom of her short black skirt.
“Let her be,” a familiar voice said.
Vanora looked over at the vampire incredulously. “Oh, God. Really?”
Armando rested his hand on Trey’s shoulder and pushed him away from Vanora with one quick motion. Trey lost his footing and fell.
“What the fuck, dude?”
“This is so fuckin’ cliché,” Vanora grumbled to Armando, brushing past him irritably. Leaning over, she extended her hand to Trey. It was difficult to ignore how he tried to look down her top for a peek at her breasts as she hauled him to his feet. “This is my friend, Armando. He might try to bash your head in if you keep hitting on me. He has this whole dark side.”
Armando literally sneered.
Trey adjusted his shirt and tugged up his low rise leather pants. “Chill, man. She’s into it.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Playing hard to get.”
“No, I’m not.”
“We have this whole vibe going.”
“No, we don’t.”
Rhonda appeared out of the crowd, grabbed her brother’s arm, and hauled him away. “Leave Vanora alone, dumb ass! That’s her boyfriend.”
Pressing a hand to her forehead, Vanora spun toward Armando. “Really? The knight in shining armor ploy? Really?”
“Your brother suggested that I make sure you were okay. And that…boy was acting inappropriately.” Armando took her drink from her and sniffed it.
“It’s soda,” Vanora said, grabbing it back. “And since when are you Roman’s lackey?”
“Your brother was concerned.”
“Roman is paranoid.”
“True.” Armando shifted on his feet, folding his arms over his chest. “Besides, I was bored and experiencing writer’s block.”
“How did you find me?”
“Rhonda texted me on your phone,” Armando answered.
“That’s why she borrowed it? Ugh!” Vanora wagged her head with irritation. She felt all twisted up in knots whenever Armando was around and now Rhonda was conspiring with him against her. Taking out her phone, she checked her sent messages. Rhonda had been smart enough to delete them. “What did she say?”
“That I should come because you were being harassed.”
“By her brother.” Adjusting the strap of her black babydoll dress, Vanora shifted on her black high-heeled ankle boots. She always felt so damn awkward when Armando was around.
Armando didn’t speak for a few minutes and neither did she. They kept catching each other’s eye as the music swirled around them and people jostled past them to the crowded dance floor. Vanora felt self-conscious about her appearance. Armando had never seen her dressed up. Her white-blond hair was gathered on top of her head in a loose beehive with curls falling over one shoulder, and Rhonda had helped her create cat-eyes with liquid eyeliner. Rubbing her lips together, she felt the creaminess of her pink lipstick. She tried to discreetly pull down the hem of her dress, afraid it was riding up in the back.
“You look pretty,” Armando said at last.<
br />
“So do you. I mean, handsome.” Vanora fussed with her side-swept bangs, trying not to let him see the flush creeping over her complexion.
Armando grinned at her. “Thank you.”
Vanora raised her eyes to the dusty rafters above her. When his arm snaked around her waist and he guided her into a dark corner, she let out a startled cry.
“We need to talk.”
“I don’t have a crush on you,” she said immediately, in an attempt to prevent another awkward conversation.
“About your brother and sister,” Armando continued.
“What about them?” Vanora played with her straw, swirling it around in the watery diet soda. The ice was nearly all melted.
“I think maybe you should stay in Houston. They need you.”
“They’re the ones telling me to leave, Armando.”
“Yes, but they will do anything to give you a shot at the life they cannot have. You’re very important to them.” Armando’s vivid amber eyes stared into hers, pleading.
“Only to them?” Vanora couldn’t help but ask. She wanted to hear him tell her how he felt about her departure, not what he thought her siblings were feeling.
“I’ll miss you,” he said simply.
“Why?”
With an exasperated sigh, he looked away from her.
“I’m tired of this,” Vanora muttered, brushing past him.
Catching her arm, Armando drew her against him. His lips close to her ear, he whispered, “Don’t push me.”
Tilting her head to look at him, Vanora felt her heart beating faster. “Let me go.”
“No,” Armando answered. “I want you to listen to me about your brother and sister. They need you in their lives. Your humanity keeps them human.”
The nearness of his body made her tremble. The sight of his lips made her remember the coolness of his kiss. She wanted to feel it again. “I’m not one of you, Armando. I can’t live in the dark forever.”
A surprising look of pain flitted over his face. With a nod, he dropped his hold on her arm. “You’re right.”
The desire to comfort him filled her, but she didn’t move. The air around them was fraught with unexpressed emotions. Vanora felt her eyes pulsing, the energy within her building. It was almost as if she could see the tendrils of her power touching Armando. In an instant, she knew he was just as torn as she was over everything that had occurred between them.
Vampire in the Night: In Darkness We Must Abide, #1 Page 24
