“I sure can.”
“Don’t ever turn it on me.”
“You’re capable of so much more devastation, James.”
His eyes darkened with this truth. “I believe I am.”
“Besides the fact we both worked for MI6 once, we have something else in common.”
“Oh?”
“The same bastard who ruined your life also wants me dead.”
He looked horrified. “Terrance Farmer? He’s the double-agent?”
I nodded. “He’s working for the Russians.”
“Jesus Christ, the damage he must have done.”
The Right Honorable Terrance Farmer, member of the old-boys club, was a traitor—and he’d been the one who’d recruited us both. It was a catastrophic strike against our country.
“Get me a laptop and I’ll provide you with the proof you need,” I said.
“How long have you known?”
“I went deep into my research when I was in Macau. Blew right through his firewall—that was when I knew he’d send you after me.”
James stared at me in disbelief. “I was in his office before I came for you at Colchester. He ushered me out faster than usual. I sensed something was wrong.”
“I’m sorry for what he did to your wife,” I said softly. “I believe he gave the order.”
“What they did to her—” James shook his head. “Cruel beyond belief.”
“What are you going to do?”
He gave a casual shrug. “Kill him.”
“Just like that?”
“First, we need to find out who his connections are and then eliminate them. Take the power back.”
I offered him a wry smile. “You’ve been considering taking over the world for quite a while, then?”
“I’m going to burn the system down.” His eyes roamed over my face looking at my bruises and contusions. “They messed with the wrong man.”
“Other agents are at risk if we don’t stop him.”
He gave a nod. “Undoubtedly.”
“You believe Victoria suspected Farmer? She discovered what he was doing? That was why he had her killed?”
“He ordered Ivor Mikhail to do his dirty work.”
“I’m so sorry, James.”
“Turns out you’re about to get a demonstration of just what I’m capable of.” He stepped forward and cupped my face.
“It’s you and me against the world now, Ballad.”
“If I had to go down the foxhole with anyone…” He brushed his thumb over my lip. “God, the things you do to me, Rothschild.”
“No regrets, then?”
“I want you to stay.”
“So we can put this right?”
“That’s one reason, yes.” He stared intently into my eyes. “Xavier, I haven’t felt this kind of peace since…”
“How about we steal the keys to the kingdom?”
A lust for power shined brightly in his eyes.
“Consider me your tech guy,” I added.
His grin widened. “Maybe a new agency is in order. One that we control.”
“With influence that reaches around the entire world.”
“I’ll own the Prime Minister before the year is out.”
“With your connections to royalty, I’m sure you’ll get support from the Crown.”
He smirked. “They’ve always had a thing for colonies.”
“You’re serious about all of this?” I had to ask because what he was suggesting was control on a global scale.
“I’ve never been more certain about anything.”
This was what if felt like when James Ballad made a claim. Like you’d been burned up from the inside out and you were rising from the ashes. Like you had become something more because of your time with him.
“Do you want to be by my side, Xavier, as I take the world by storm?”
Fuck, yes.
I saw a pattern in our future…a sequence that spiraled into perfection. I sure as hell couldn’t go back to my old life because I’d burned all of my bridges by going rogue.
Moving forward with James was the only way to survive.
Emily
Present Day
“Thirsty…” James’ voice was husky.
A sob of relief escaped me as I reached out to squeeze his hand, careful to avoid his IV. The bandage around his head was proof of his injury.
He was conscious now and that was all that mattered. I felt like I’d been holding my breath for an eternity. They’d given him a private room, a place where the lights could be kept low and the room quiet.
“James,” I said softly.
His eyes fluttered open. “Where am I?” said James, barely above a whisper.
“Cornwall Hospital.” It was one of the best hospitals on the island, and he was lucky to be here. I don’t know what I’d have done without the kindness of the staff.
He reached to explore the bandage on his head and flinched. “What happened?”
“There was an accident. In the water.”
He took a few seconds to process that.
“You have sutures,” I said.
“How many?”
“Just a few.” I downplayed it. “I’ll let the nurse know you’re awake.”
I reached for the call button.
“Not yet.” James rested his hand on mine, becoming more alert. “Is Xavier okay? Is he back at the house?”
“Um…”
He shot me a look of concern. “We were having dinner. No, wait…that was before…” James tried to sit up. “Let me think a second.”
“Do you know what year it is?”
He stared at me, frowning. “You hit me on the head with a sharp object.”
“No!”
He smirked. “It’s less mortifying than being wiped out by a teenager on a jet ski.”
Relief flooded through me. “So…you remember?” Thank God.
“We were at Doctor’s Cave.”
I leaned forward and cupped his cheek. “You were trying to swim after me. Do you remember? I should have stayed by the boat.”
“Yacht,” he said, correcting me. He raised his hands. “See, can’t help myself. I’m a certified—”
“I’m so relieved you’re okay.”
“It was my fault, Emily.” He looked around the room. “How did I get here?”
“The young man who hit you also rescued you. We put you in the boat—I mean yacht—and when we reached the beach an ambulance was waiting to bring you here.”
“What happened to my yacht?”
“A lifeguard told me he’d take care of it until we came back. The boy on the jet ski felt terrible he’d hit you.”
James grimaced. “I’m still going to punch him in the face.”
“He told me he was on holiday.”
James’ brow furrowed. “How long was I out?”
“Twenty-four hours.”
“You stayed with me all that time?”
“Of course.”
He took my hand and pressed it to his lips.
“What’s my diagnosis? Concussion?”
“Yes.”
“That it?”
“Yes, and that cut on your head. The doctor wasn’t sure how quickly you’ll recover…”
“Hand me my phone.”
“It’s not charged.” I bit my cheek in frustration. “You can’t be exposed to light and I knew the first thing you’d do was look at it.”
“Does Xavier know what happened?”
“I’m not sure.”
“He’ll be worried if he doesn’t hear from us.”
“You two weren’t talking, remember? Well, not in the conventional sense.”
He flashed me a wary look and it seemed as though the memory of him taunting Xavier had just popped into his mind.
“I was dreaming,” he said.
“About?”
James slid into an uneasy smile.
I smiled back at him. “You need to tell Xavier that when you see hi
m.”
He blinked at me. “I fought against us. He didn’t deserve…any of it.”
“Well, you’ve had a scare. It redefines everything.”
“It helps you see what’s important.”
The affectionate way he looked at me made my body tingle. “Can I get you anything, James?”
“Is that the bathroom?” He sat up and swung his legs around the end of the bed. He took a moment to steady his balance then unattached himself from the various monitoring devices and silenced the machines. “Can you help me with my IV?”
I rushed around to make sure he didn’t fall. “You’re not to get out of bed.”
“I’ve never been one to follow the rules.”
“But…still…”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and stood, leaning on me for balance.
I reached for the IV pole. “Let me get the nurse.”
“Can’t pee with an audience.”
Together, with me nudging the IV pole forward, we shuffled into the bathroom.
“You’re going to have to step out, Em.” He glanced back and realized I wasn’t leaving. “You’re as stubborn as him.”
“Yet not as stubborn as you.” I scooped up the small plastic container the nurse had left behind. “Here, the nurse told me that if you pee, they need a sample.”
He reluctantly took it from me.
I moved toward the sink and turned on a tap. “It’s supposed to help.”
“If you say so. I need you to charge my phone.”
“I’ve already told you why that’s not a good idea.”
He sighed. “I’m an idiot.”
“Will you hurry up and pee?”
“It’s very hard when you’re barking orders.” He let out a sigh. “I’ve put so many people at risk.”
“How?”
“By being unavailable.”
“Please, don’t blame yourself.”
“I wasn’t talking about the accident, Em. I’m talking about not doing the right thing here…and back in London.”
“Try not to think about all of that right now.”
“God, my head hurts.”
“I don’t think you should be standing. When you’re done, you’re going right back to bed.”
“That’s not going to happen,” he mumbled.
James
I texted Xavier: Come home. We need you. More to follow…
I held the phone to my chest as I waited for him to respond.
I was reminded how much I loved sleeping in my own bed. I stretched out, feeling relieved the entire hospital debacle was over. Almost over, my aching head reminded me. I needed to recover quickly and get back to work.
The black-out blinds threw me into complete darkness. The size of this manor ensured it was quiet when you wanted it to be. Outside, the sound of the crickets kept me company as I dozed on and off.
What if Emily had been hit by that jet ski instead of me? The thought of it made my chest tighten. If anything happened to her, Xavier would never forgive me—and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself, either. I wasn’t sure I could continue to live with that kind of guilt. I was already laden with so much of it.
Admittedly, leaving the hospital against my doctor’s orders wasn’t reasonable. I couldn’t stay there, though. I needed to be here.
I didn’t want Xavier showing up and finding us gone.
I’d taken on a profound responsibility here in the Caribbean. The agency back in London drew most of my attention, but another responsibility had fallen on me years ago and this was another reason I needed to stay alive. It was that secret that weighed heavily on my mind.
My thoughts turned to Xavier and our first days together in this house before we’d returned to London to set the world ablaze.
A near-death experience can change one’s perspective, apparently. The truth followed a pathway my heart had yearned for. My mind had forbidden this fantasy, however. An us was all I wanted, but even now it wasn’t something I had a right to.
The door creaked open and I heard footsteps padding towards me.
“James,” whispered Emily.
“Hey.”
She squeezed my arm. “The doctor told me to check on you frequently.”
“I’m fine.”
“How am I to know whether you’ve gone unconscious again or you’re just sleeping?”
“I’m not having any symptoms.” Other than this splitting headache and the soreness where some doctor had sewn stitches into my scalp. I had yet to remove the bandage and look at the wound.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked.
I lifted the blanket. “Climb in.”
“I’m dressed.”
“Come on.”
She kicked off her shoes and climbed in beside me. Her body molded perfectly to mine and I dipped my head to bury my face in her lustrous hair, her soft scent stirring warm emotions that brought me comfort.
I can have this intimacy, I reassured myself. I can enjoy this innocent time together until she has to leave.
“Do you have everything you need?” I asked softly.
“I do.”
“You’re low maintenance.”
“So are you.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” I pulled her more tightly against me.
She pressed her cheek to my chest. “I don’t want to go to Prague.”
“What’s in Prague?”
She remained silent for a few moments. “The orchestra.”
“We’ll talk later about where you want to be.”
“But…you remember, right?”
Did I remember telling Emily I was sending her away? That I’d been cruel beyond all comprehension? That I’d not even been there to greet her at the airport? I was able to do those appalling things because my heart had shut her out. Ironically, it was the reason I was in this mess. Now I could see the wisdom of allowing love into my life—if only I deserved it.
“I have no memory of that conversation,” I lied.
“That’s not good.”
“Allow me to forget this one bad memory, Em.”
“I’ve forgotten it, too.” She reached up in the darkness and brushed her fingertips over my face. “You know how I feel about you.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
I should have told her it was love I was feeling…but there would come a time when I’d have to let her go and this would be easier on both of us.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“A little.”
“I found some chicken soup in the pantry. I’ll go get it.” She pushed herself up and scooted out of bed.
The loss of her warmth wrenched my heart. I reached for her, wanting to pull her back, even as my stomach grumbled.
“I’ll bring it up on a tray,” she said from the doorway. “Don’t go anywhere.”
I chuckled. “Where would I go?”
“One never knows with you.”
“True.”
She started to walk away, but then paused to look back at me.
“I love it here so much, James. I’ll stay for as long as you need me.”
Her words sounded full of the forgiveness I needed. “Emily, I’m sorry I hurt you. I don’t deserve all this.”
“Oh, stop.”
A noise at the end of the hallway made her turn her head and stare in surprise.
I pushed myself up on my elbows. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing,” she said quickly, and hurried out of view.
Xavier
Pressing my fingertip to my lips, I warned Emily to remain silent. I didn’t want James to know I was here. I needed to catch my breath and adjust to being back at Royal Court Manor. The last time James and I had been in this house together, just over eight months ago, he’d told me he was sending me away to Washington. That had been the catalyst for all that followed.
It had led me to her.
My beautiful and elegantly poised Emily.
She took a step past
James’ bedroom door, out of his line of sight, and fixed her astonished stare on me. This woman was beautiful in every conceivable way. I’d memorized the dazzling color of her irises, a glimmering emerald green that revealed an enduring trust in me. I had dreamed of the way her mouth naturally pouted, the way she emanated an aura of enchantment. Being apart from her wrenched my soul—I loved her more than life itself.
The cruelest truth I’d learned was that letting someone go can be the purest form of love. Yet the fallout devastates the one left behind, a fact I had also discovered.
Emily hurried forward with her expression full of hope.
Opening my arms, I embraced her, drawing her close to my body and surrendering to her affection.
“Is he okay?” I whispered.
“He’ll be okay. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Downstairs,” I mouthed.
Quietly, we broke apart from our hug and descended to the first floor. Her presence stirred up my emotions like it always did. Emily was a reminder that there was beauty in this mess of a world. Not just in her stunning features, but her kind-hearted nature.
Taking long strides ahead of her, I forced my expression to become passive and unreadable—just in case she’d decided she didn’t want me anymore. I’d put her through so much. She needed to know I was ready to let her go if that’s what she desired.
All I wanted to do was turn around and embrace her again. Tell her I loved her and that I was never letting her go…but that would be selfish.
It was as though time stood still in this grand manor. Memories of my first visit here with James came flooding back as brightly as the natural sunlight seeping in through the blinds. As we walked through the house on our way to the kitchen, the recollection of what had once occurred in each room we passed triggered a visceral response…each conversation I had ever had with James, every caress that had passed between us, every moment that had felt as natural as breathing itself.
The place was dark because Emily had turned off the lights in case James ventured out of his room. Her willingness to care for him came as no surprise. I knew she was good for James—even if he didn’t.
I led her through the long winding hallways until we reached the kitchen, where even more memories flooded my synapses like fireworks lighting up the night sky. In this room, James and I had plotted our return to London. We’d prepared ourselves to take on the world.
Pervade Montego Bay Page 11
