"It was four hours into shift and the senior doctor hadn't shown up, no one could get a hold of him. Middle of the night, shithole of an ER, just interns and trainees begging the nurses to tell us what to do. We got told there was a patient coming in with a collapsed lung, a child. Also, some victims of a drive-by shooting, but we weren't told they were part of the same incident. I took the collapsed lung, which isn't really that hard. Yes, it's bad but survivable if you're quick. Got the kid on the table, nine maybe, nurses cut off his shirt and it wasn't a collapsed lung it was a punctured lung. Little tiny hole, no exit wound, no one told me it might have been a bullet. It looked like he was running with a sharp pencil and tripped and I'd seen that before. Then—" Isaac's voice cracked and he rolled away from Jack. "Fuck. It all went to hell. It was a bullet, tiny, slow, already gone through a wall, it ricocheted into his abdomen and—"
Isaac clenched his teeth and looked like he was trying not to cry. Jack reached out and took his hand. It was several seconds before Isaac gave it a squeeze.
"I screamed for another doctor," he continued, his voice hardly more than a whisper. "I needed help and no one came. When it was all over I stumbled into this little utility closet, got sick in the sink. This orderly in his sixties came in and slapped me, yelled for five minutes in some language I didn't recognize, slapped me again, then literally threw me back out onto the floor just in time to watch one patient pull a knife on another. Had a… crisis after that. I let it affect every aspect of who I was and I turned into, to be blunt, a complete asshole for a while. I was with a man called Ricky at the time. I drove him away. Drove him into the arms of—"
Isaac pinched his lips closed and Jack was willing to guess a name.
"Someone not good. I pushed away my family. I nearly drove Amalie away but she is stubborn as hell. I realized somewhere in the middle of being a complete asshole to everyone who cared for me that you can't disappoint the dead. You can't fail them, at least not to the same extent you can fail the living. Want to talk about being a coward? I ran to the dead because I was afraid I'd have to face my own weaknesses if I had to deal with the living. Still am. And you better believe my mother finds some way to drop it into conversation every fucking chance she gets. I mean mostly we're on good terms but—"
"Parents suck sometimes."
"They do."
Jack gave a gentle tug on Isaac's hand and he rolled back close. Jack was aware that he must smell but he didn't want to move from Isaac's warmth.
"I'm thinking about quitting the force." The words spilled out. Jack had joked about it, and thought about it a lot, but that was the first time he'd said those exact words out loud. "I was happy, before. Making coffee and scones and going to bonfires. I don't know if it was a useful life but I remember being happy."
Isaac kissed him on the head. "You can do that if you want. You should be happy. I would miss you if you left town." He pulled away and looked at Isaac. His face was open and honest. "I've been missing you, but I'll support what you think you need to do for you. For what it's worth, you are good at your job even if you're not feeling it right now. Also, you shouldn't make major life decisions while exhausted and in the middle of an emotional crisis. Just speaking from experience here."
Jack pressed his face to Isaac’s chest, feeling tears and emotions threaten to overwhelm him again. "I should have told you. I should have just—"
"Yes, you should have. And I should have come after you. I shouldn't have made assumptions. I should have insisted on answers. We both messed up. Though as the more experienced member of this relationship, I fucked up more."
"Can we put it back together?" he didn't want to sound like he was pleading but all he wanted was to be back in Isaac's life where he had felt peaceful and happy and cared for. He wasn’t sure if he deserved it but he wanted it more than anything.
"Absolutely." Isaac replied instantly and before he could say anything Isaac kissed him. It was soft, hardly more than a brush of lips, but it shook him to the core and the last of the madness of the previous days fell away.
"Maybe Coffea Contenuto could open a west coast branch," Isaac suggested.
Jack would have smiled if he wasn’t so exhausted. He still had his gluten free orange scone recipe memorized and could make a good cup of coffee. Plus, fewer people shooting at him. In theory, at least. "I can still roast beans. Not that hard."
"That’s good to know. You should sleep first. We both need to sleep."
Jack nodded. His head was full but quieter. "Okay."
"I might need to get up later but I'll come back. I Promise."
♦ ♦ ♦
Isaac waited until Jack was deep into sleep before sliding from his bed. The truth was he was hungry and thirsty, and there was at least one slice of cold, probably rock hard pizza in the fridge calling his name.
He was halfway through it when Amalie came into the kitchen. "I was going to have that."
He handed over the rest of the slice without comment. "How's Lydia?"
"Asleep. A bit messed up." She took a bite of the pizza and chewed it slowly. "How's Jack?"
"Asleep. A bit messed up." Amalie just nodded.
"Staying?"
"I think so."
She nodded again. He poured himself a half cup of the cold coffee in the pot. It wasn't enough to wake him up but it gave him something to do with his hands. Amalie finished her pizza then slowly leaned into his shoulder. He pulled her into a hug and they stood like that for a long time. At some point Murrcat twisted around their ankles but wandered off when he realized he wouldn't be getting attention soon.
"We should get a bigger bed," she finally said, not breaking the hug.
"How big?" He was too tired to question such a random sounding comment.
"Big enough for four."
"Really?" There had never been a lot of co-sleeping between the three of them except in cases of exhaustion or occasional drunkenness.
"Not for every night but for these kinds, when we all need to be close to each other."
Isaac pictured it. Lydia and Jack on opposite sides. He and Amalie in the middle. Everyone close to the people they cared for. Able to know they were safe, even in sleep. "I think that's a good idea."
♦ ♦ ♦
Jack woke up again when Isaac slipped back into bed. His mind was starting to smooth out, and he was pretty sure he'd be able to get back to sleep without crying his eyes out again. He'd decided on something first.
"I want to tell someone," he whispered.
"Okay." Isaac didn't even pause.
"Not everyone. I'm not ready for that. Not yet. Dan probably. I’m sure he’s worked it out already. The coven. My sister, maybe. Just a few people, just in case. I feel like there are too many mes in my head some days and—"
Isaac kissed him. This time it was deep and lingered. It warmed him and the feeling settled into his chest where it felt like it always belonged. "You do what you need to do for you, and I will support you. We will support you. I'm not going anywhere. None of us are."
This time it was Jack who started the kiss knowing that nothing had ever felt this right and never wanted to lose it again.
About the Author
Ada Maria Soto is a Mexican/American expat living in the South Pacific. She’s a veteran of the theatre and film business as well as all the lousy jobs that come with two liberal arts degrees. A psychologist once told her she has a fantasy prone personality, but since she’s trying to be a writer that’s not a bad thing. She is a sports fan dedicated to the Oakland A’s, San Jose Sharks, Auckland Blues, USA Eagles, New Zealand All Blacks, and New Zealand Black Caps.
You can find her online at http://adamariasoto.com/ and on most social media platforms.
To keep updated on current releases and free stories join her mailing list.
Her previous, award winning work, can be found at Dreamspinner Press and Amazon.
Arthur Drams works for a secret government security agency, but all he really does is spend
his days in a cubical writing reports no one reads. After getting another “lateral promotion” by a supervisor who barely remembers his name, it’s suggested that Arthur try to ‘make friends’ and ‘get noticed’ in order to move up the ladder.
It’s like high school all over again: his attempts to be friendly come across as awkward and creepy, and no one wants to sit at the same table with him at lunch. In a last-ditch attempt to be seen as friendly and outgoing, he decides to make friends with The Alien, aka Agent Martin Grove, known for his strange eating habits, unusual reading choices, and the fact that no one has spoken to him in three years.
Starting with a short, surprisingly interesting conversation on sociology books, Arthur slowly begins to chip away at The Alien’s walls using home-cooked meals to lure the secretive agent out of his abrasive shell. Except Martin just might be something closer to an actual secret agent than paper-pusher Arthur is, and it might be more than hearts at risk when something more than friendship begins to develop.
Please note this book has a Heat Rating of zero.
Available in eBook and paperback.
Nested Hearts: Book One
Neither James nor Gabe has ever had a real relationship. They might make a connection if they can get past their differences—and their fears.
At age fourteen, James Maron decided to prove he wasn’t gay despite vast evidence to the contrary. Now at thirty-two, he’s getting ready to send his son to college and wondering what he’s supposed to do next. Outside his son, his life consists of an IT job he hates and watching telenovelas with the women in his apartment building.
Gabriel Juarez is the CFO of a technology giant. He has looks, charm, fantastic wealth, a workaholic personality, and a string of boyfriends who only stick around because he’s too busy to tell them to leave.
A bad laptop/projector interface causes James and Gabe’s paths to cross. Friends, family, and coworkers jump to match Gabe with a nice guy, and James with anyone. But are they too different? Everyone will have to tread very carefully to keep things from ending before they start.
Available at Dreamspinner Press.
Tactical Submission: A Windsor Club Story Page 26
