“Yeah,” Tissa said. “I can’t believe someone cut her head off. It’s just so …”
“It’s brutal,” I said. “The way she was killed makes me sick. And what’s with the groundskeeper who told the police a swarm of bees had killed Lordin? That’s really weird.”
I sighed and gave my head a shake. “Anyway, Lordin’s a martyr now. The people of Geniverd are furious, especially here in Gaard. She’s been elevated far beyond what she was in life. I’ve heard the Gurnots are cycling rumors through the capital that Lordin was killed by the upper class to stop her from meddling with Decens-Lenitas. I mean, she was highly versed in the teachings, but I know she opposed some of the more controversial aspects regarding the monarchy. The rumors have sparked outrage. I know that there was some serious division between the classes before, but this has incited some real trouble. Have you guys seen the riots?”
“Yeah,” Tissa said. “People are throwing themselves from roofs. They’re marching in the streets and demanding justice. The higher-ups still won’t give out any information on who killed Lordin, or why.”
“They should,” Nnati said with a peculiar edge in his voice. “I was never one of Lordin’s followers, but she was still a human being, and people deserve answers. I’ll be the first to admit she seemed genuinely benevolent, like she really helped people. It’s not right to cover up what happened. Why won’t they tell us anything?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “That sort of thing is way beyond the station of a mere heiress. Papa hasn’t said anything to me about it.”
“It’s suspicious,” Nnati said. “And it’s causing problems. I’ve heard the Surrvul are vying for the throne now. Word on the street is that they have six heirs going to the coronation next year. They’re hoping to steal the seat. It’s been two hundred years since the last Surrvul rulers, and they’re peeved about it. It’s funny, actually, maybe even ironic, that the richest continent is the most desperate for the throne.”
Tissa nodded in agreement. “With Veeln-Co in their territory, Surrvul has enough money to fund a war.”
“Hush,” I snapped, not meaning to. I hated hearing about wars. I hated hearing about how viciously Lordin had been killed. What kind of monster could harm such a perfectly radiant being? And what would happen now at the coronation? Poor Zawne. He must have been in tatters.
“Sorry.” I hung my head. “I’m just upset—maybe because I had thought I could never be as morally upright as Lordin; then she came into my life and showed me I could try. She trusted me.” I sighed, fighting back tears. “Then someone cut her freaking head off! She handed me the torch and died the next day. Who’s going to change the world now?”
Tissa and Nnati remained quiet, sullen. The mood was bleak. Thousands of mourners talked in quiet whispers all around us. We had all come to bid Lordin a final farewell, people from every continent. It was one of the greatest pilgrimages Geniverd had ever seen. I had known she was popular and loved, but this was crazy. It seemed like the whole world had come to say goodbye.
“Death is a thief,” I said. “It steals hopes, dreams, experiences. Death is the robber of life, happiness, family. Death takes everything and gives nothing. Death is the most unjust sentence ever passed.”
The procession began. We joined in the thousands of people marching slowly through the fields of Lordin’s mother’s estate. Lordin was to be cremated and placed inside a newly constructed mausoleum.
As we marched, drummers beat on their drums, and the Ava-Gaard sang out in painful bellows. Nnati and Tissa joined in as best they could, since they were Ava-Nurlie and didn’t know the words. I belted out the words as loud as I could, danced the dance of the dead, and surrendered my body, swaying to the beating of the drum as we marched through the field. By dancing, the Ava-Gaard promised Lordin a peaceful rest with our ancestors in the afterlife.
We danced and chanted and marched all the way to the cremation site, to the mausoleum Raad had helped construct, since he was the soon-to-be clan leader. He had been practicing the duties, and he stood near the front of the crowd, wearing full Gaard-Elder garb. It made my heart swell to see my brother looking so regal.
And I wasn’t the only one. Tissa couldn’t keep her eyes off Raad. Or was she looking at Zawne? The two men stood beside each other, roughly the same age. Zawne was thinner beside Raad. He had suffered a month of grief, and it showed in his baggy clothing, his dark eyes, his sunken cheeks. Zawne looked half-dead. I supposed he was less alive without Lordin, his shining light.
Zawne stepped forward onto the podium and took the microphone in his hands. The hundreds of P2 camera drones buzzed around him like locusts, transmitting the tragic event to the whole kingdom. Zawne didn’t seem to mind. He was probably used to them in his life of royalty and fame. It made me glad to be away from that boring life, constantly swarmed by cameras and press. Before Zawne spoke, he turned to look at a veiled woman standing alone at the back of the stage. Lordin’s mother, I guessed. Her skin glowed the same pale white as Lordin’s had, the porcelain complexion so rare for an Ava-Gaard.
“I’d like to recite a poem,” Zawne said, his voice shattered by loss. “I loved Lordin more than words can describe, and I have written this poem to try to commemorate her. Maybe in death she will hear my words.”
The crowd melted. I could feel them soften and whisper. Who could blame them? Zawne was the perfect model of a bereaved lover. Even Tissa said, “He’s so romantic. I wish I had a man like him.”
Zawne cleared his throat, then read his poem from a scrap of paper. “My love. Our love. I thought I knew what living was.
“Until I met you.
“Through the fog. I couldn’t see. Every breath I took.
“You saw.
“Every smile or frown.
“You foresaw.
“I soared. We soared. I saw the birds for the first time and learned their songs.
“Heard their vivid tales, their blitheness, their misery.
“I saw all people beneath the surface.
“I was free. We were free. Our trees stand tall in the quiet of the night.
“Quiet to the untrained ear.
“Innumerable stars shine. Buzzing, purring, humming, rumbling, hissing.
“Thick gray clouds pour.
“Our branches and leaves sway. The winds are strong and cold.
“I never yield. We never yield. The darkness around us is perfectly lit.
“The abyss, a heavy universe.
“This season is a mirage. All seasons are none. We are forever one.
“I rest with you.
“Geniverd rests with you.”
Zawne bowed his head, and a respectful silence permeated the gathered thousands. I had tears in my eyes. So did Tissa. Even Nnati had to wipe his cheeks. The poem was beautiful. Lordin deserved it.
Once the moment of silence was over, Zawne looked back at the crowd and said, “I have one more thing to say. Without Lordin, my life is worthless. I’ve spoken with the Grucken, and he agreed it would be a good idea for me to strengthen my inner soul and find a new purpose through becoming an Aska. I’m not doing this for publicity. I’m doing this for Lordin, so that she may be proud of me in the afterlife.”
Zawne paused, waiting to hear reactions in the crowd. People were gasping and chatting among themselves. I heard Nnati say, “He’ll never make it. My left foot says he drops out after the first day.”
Zawne went on. “My brother, Prince Jaken, believes I have the strength to make it through. My parents, the king and queen, are also supportive, and I know Lordin, if she’s looking down upon me from some ethereal plane, is also behind me. I want to thank the people of Geniverd for coming on this solemn day to mourn the bright life of our beloved Lordin. Goodbye.”
Zawne passed the microphone over to the Grucken and retreated to the back of the stage. He gave the veiled woman, Lordin’s mother, a brief glance, then hugged his brother. I watched him shake Raad’s hand. Then Zawne was gone and the Gr
ucken was speaking.
“Geniverd,” the Grucken said, “thank you for coming. I’ll keep this short. A child of Decens-Lenitas is committed to ashes on this day, and it is too sorrowful for speeches. I will say only that Lordin has not truly died. She has merely transcended her body and mind and all things physical. Lordin is still with you in your hearts, in the souls of every living creature in Geniverd. And Geniverd will never forget. Farewell, Lordin.”
The men of Gaard boomed, “Gaard to Gaard.”
And then the women said, “Breast to breast.”
My friends and I spent the night at NordHaven. Papa had gone to bed early after three glasses of wine, and the hour was late. I sat on the sofa next to Nnati so that Raad and Tissa were forced to sit on the opposite sofa together. The room smelled of fresh daisies, of spring and renewal. After living so long in the city, I had forgotten what it was like to live inside the bubble of NordHaven, surrounded by pleasant smells and perfect weather. Tissa looked more comfortable here than I was. She looked quite at home on the plush sofa next to Raad in his royal vestments.
“Have you considered seeing anyone since you moved to the city, Kaelyn?” Tissa asked me. The talk had turned to dating.
I immediately flushed. “No way! How could I have time for a boyfriend with all the work we’ve been doing?” Then I scoffed at her, trying to get the spotlight off me. “Isn’t this an inappropriate time to be talking about dating, Tiss?”
“It’s the perfect time,” Raad said. He was sitting rather snugly against my friend. “With all the death surrounding us, we deserve a bit of happiness. We all deserve special people in our lives. It’s what Mama would have wanted. Besides, Kaelyn, we both need to be married by next year for the coronation ceremony.”
I rumpled my nose. “And what if I’m not?”
“Then you won’t ascend to queen. If I’m chosen for king, you’ll have to become a solitary leader of the Gaard Clan. You’ll have men chasing you like crazy!”
I sighed, sagging deep into the cushions on the sofa. “I don’t want any of the other heirs. There’s only one man I really want.”
My words came out too fast without me thinking and suddenly everyone in the room was staring at me.
“Who?” Nnati asked. “Who is the one man you want? I can’t believe it. Kaelyn has a crush!”
Even Raad was grinning at me. I noticed his fingers getting awfully close to where Tissa’s hand rested on the sofa.
“I … He’s no one … He’s just …” I sighed, defeated. I couldn’t lie to my friends. “Fine,” I said. “His name is Roki, and we were, dare I say it, on the fringes of love.”
Tissa was bug eyed. “When? Where? How? Spill the beans, Kaelyn!”
“It was over a year ago,” I told them, “before Mama’s passing. We spent every day together. I had never felt so in sync with anyone before. I was sure we could have ruled the world together. I may have wanted to become queen if I had Roki as my king. He was amazing.”
“So it wasn’t just an infatuation,” Tissa said. “It was intense.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “It was emotionally powerful. We were bonded. But then Mama died. I couldn’t bear to see him in the state I was in. Then, well … we drifted apart.”
Nnati was grinning mischievously. “So,” he said, “drift back together. Why don’t you reach out to him, explain that your heart was broken and now you’re ready to date again? Things happen; life happens. It doesn’t mean you can’t get back together.”
I blinked at Nnati, totally dumbfounded by his totally perfect rationale. I suddenly wanted to ditch my friends, run to my bedroom, and try to call Roki on my visin. Did I still have his number? Could I bear to hear his voice again? Would he even still want me?
“You’re thinking about it,” Nnati said slyly. “I can see the gears turning in your head. Just do it, Kaelyn. Life’s too short. We could all be killed by a superbug at any minute.”
I laughed. Nnati was cheering me up with his typically grim demeanor, talking about superbugs as if there had even been one in the last five hundred years. I was also cheered to see Raad and Tissa giggling in their own little bubble across the room, their fingers entwined. She really did look right at home.
“But enough about you, Kaelyn,” Nnati said, dramatically flipping his wrist. “Let’s talk about me. I need a man too. Now that Zawne’s single, maybe he’ll come play for my team. What do you think?”
Raad answered for me. “I think Zawne is currently on his way to Gaard’s southern coast. By tomorrow night he will be paddling two hundred miles across stormy, shark-infested waters. If he doesn’t get sucked into a whirlpool or eaten by a giant squid, he will be trekking through a merciless wasteland for the next eight months. After that he’ll have serious training in Lodden for nearly one and a half years. I think dating is the furthest thing from his mind right now.”
“Right,” Nnati said, pouting his lips. “Do you think he’ll make it through?”
Raad thought seriously about this, his eyebrows furrowing. “I think he has what he needs to get through it,” he said. “If Zawne can embrace the pain of Lordin’s death, draw strength from it, and let the pain and hurt guide him, then yes. Yes, I believe he can make it.”
We all quieted then. I’m sure we were picturing a grief-stricken Zawne shirtless and sweaty in the desert, trudging along with dull resolve, battling leopards with the anger from Lordin’s death. I could see by Nnati’s raised eyebrows he liked the idea. As for me, I felt sad for Zawne. He had adored Lordin, made a home with her. Now Zawne was alone with himself and the wilderness. His only company would be the other lost souls desperate for purpose, and the hungry vultures circling above.
Chapter 5
I was immersed in a sea of white arum lilies, my body buoyant on the current. I ducked below the canopy of white-spotted green leaves and swam among their impossibly long stalks. The petals brushed me softly, sublimely. Their musky scent filled my nostrils. I was alive, floating in a flowery paradise.
A new scent came to me: earthy, herbal. It was a sweet fragrance accompanied by a presence, a construct of pistils, a thousand flower eyes. It was a hot gaze that made my body shake, and I came to a stop amid the field of lilies. I felt naked here, bare and contrite. The large orange petals were reaching out for me. I let them brush against my skin, the flowery presence making me feel secure, filaments blown about me on a sudden breeze. I lifted my face, and there he was.
Roki in the flesh. The scene changed, and we were two bare souls in the field of arum lilies. He had a smile on his face. I realized I was crying, solid in my body. We were hugging. My tears streaked down his bare chest, slithered between his abs.
“What do you want, Roki?” I said against him. He held me tightly and allowed me to weep before I leaped back in anger. “Why are you here now?”
“Because I love you, Kaelyn. I need you to come back to me.”
Roki’s words were honest in this sacred dreamscape. I hadn’t realized how much I had longed to hear his voice. It was like honey. I wanted to drown in it.
But I was still angry! So much time had passed without him to comfort me. “Why should I love you?” I demanded. “Why should I return to your embrace? You left me, Roki. In my hour of need, you were nowhere to be found!”
He took the brunt of my anger. He seemed to understand it and shook his head sadly. “I never left you. I’ve been here all along. I can’t let go. By the world, I have tried. Yet your spirit lingers in my mind, in my being. I need you.”
I hated how much I wanted to shrug off my anger and kiss him as if we had never parted. His words were sweet, yet they held no meaning for me.
“Where were you?” I asked. “When I was sad, beaten, crushed, and powerless, where were you? I was certain my grief would swallow me alive, and you weren’t there to console me. I was hopeless. I had betrayed my mother for you, and in my time of need, you were gone.”
He lowered his face close to mine. Roki, so handsome, so strong. Ho
w could I fight him? I was supposed to hate him, yet I wanted to touch him. My legs buckled, and I dropped to my knees.
He knelt beside me and pleaded, “Please, Kaelyn. You must believe that I was right there with you in your days of misery. I sobbed with you. I shared your pain and tried to comfort your soul. Maybe you felt me, smelled me. I was there. I could hear your mind, hear your thoughts of anger, and sense your grief. I respected your pain and your frustration, and kept my distance. I wanted so badly to stay away and let you grow on your own. You deserve a full life without me to drag you down. But now …” Roki paused, swept his hand across my moist cheek. “But now I’ve heard you. I’ve listened to your heart and understood that you need me. I will be here from now on. I’m here, Kaelyn. I’m yours.”
I had no words. I was so confused. Roki lifted my chin delicately. His fingers, his touch—they were perfect. “I love you,” he said. And in his eyes was truth.
I caved, closed my eyes, and reached with my lips …
“Roki!” I screamed into my empty room. I sat upright in bed, sweating and hot.
“Just a dream …”
I was disappointed and more than a bit confused. The dream had been so vivid, so real. Even Roki’s scent continued to linger. It seemed like the universe was trying to tell me something. Did I need Roki back in my life?
I shook my head, trying to shake the dream from my system. It felt insane that he would appear to me in my mind on today of all days. I hadn’t seen Roki for three years. I hadn’t been back in NordHaven since Lordin’s funeral two years ago. Yet there I was, in my old bedroom, my brother married to my best friend the previous night, and Roki’s ghost was playing midnight tricks in my head. I already knew it was going to be a strange day. I could feel it in the air.
The service had been splendid. Tissa and Raad exchanged Gaard-Nurlie vows, and the massed crowd went nuts. Nurlie was happy because their chances of having an Ava-Nurlie queen were exceptional with Tissa’s marriage to my brother. Gaard was happy because they adored Raad and figured he was sure to be picked by the Crown of Crowns. But Surrvul was displeased. They craved the throne with dangerous ambition. I was beginning to wonder what any of it meant for the common folk. What did the coronation mean for the people?
Crown of Crowns Page 5
