“You nervous?” he asked. “About Saturday?”
She pursed her lips and forced a nonchalant shrug. Not with a Jared-inspired pie in my arsenal. “Nah.”
The corner of his perfect lips twitched into a smile. “Nah? Well, look at you. Not intimidated anymore. Confidence looks good on you, Bailey.”
The hair at the back of her neck prickled. “Don’t insult me.”
“I wasn’t.” The playful grin disappeared. “I’m happy for you. I’ve always thought you underestimated yourself. If you finally have the confidence you should’ve had the rest of your life, then I’m ecstatic.”
So that was it. He was like a parent sending their kid off into the world. As long as you’re happy. Anger bubbled up in her chest.
No. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
“Happy you’re happy, J.” The sarcasm wasn’t what she’d intended, but his lips parted in surprise and eased the disappointment.
His eyes darted around, and they both realized at once that they had an audience. Sydney and Nicole huddled silently together at the edge of the Loving Page’s booth, Edith O’Hare blatantly stared while shoving kettle corn into her open mouth, and the entire McDonagh clan watched in rapt attention from farther up the hill.
Jared grabbed Mila’s hand and tugged her away from the vendor booths and the prying eyes.
“Jared.” She called out as he hurried past people and around the side of the massive barn where the Spring Festival would’ve been held had the weather turned. He slipped inside the building and thrust them both into a pool of darkness, festival noise muffled in their own little corner of the world.
“Say what you want to say to me.” His warm breath whispered across her cheeks, and she instinctively lifted her face, every inch of her saying, Closer closer closer.
“You first.”
The inky black of the barn settled over them, and as her eyes adjusted, the contours of his face appeared in the night. The full lips, the straight-bridged nose, the heavy eyebrows slightly marred by the old scar.
She couldn’t help herself. She brushed a gentle thumb across his cheekbone, reveling in the sensation of skin on skin. His eyelids lowered slowly, his chin dipped in reverence.
“You could have me,” she whispered. “If you just trusted yourself. You can do this. You can be everything I need you to be.”
“I don’t know where you get this faith in me,” he said.
The weight of his hands on her hips deepened her need, and she softened into him.
“I know you,” she said. “I know things about you that you don’t know yourself. And I know because you’ve proven them over and over again. Your loyalty, your honesty, your grace. You make me feel so cared for, so seen. And you don’t even have to try. It’s not about flowers or saying the right thing. It’s about showing up. You have always showed up for me. Always.”
He licked his lips, his tongue a breath away from her cheek. “You’re wrong. You’re the only one I’ve ever tried for.”
She tilted her head. Her lips begged to brush against his. “Try again.”
He swallowed, his throat constricting in the shadows.
“You want me,” she said. “Don’t you?”
A muffled grunt echoed in his throat, and he guided her hand to the front of his jeans, where the hardened length answered her question.
“Yes, I want you,” he growled. “I want you right here.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What else can I say to you?” His voice wrestled free of his throat, his body tightening under her hands as if he couldn’t contain the energy coursing through him. “I want you in every way, Mila. It’s not up for debate. I want you in my clothes, in my car, in my bed. I want you wrapped around me and inside me and dripping off me.”
Her stomach caved. His intensity rolled over her in waves, stripping her bare and demanding her attention. They were the same people they’d always been to each other, and at the same time, different in every way.
She knew this wasn’t reconciliation, a mending of what they’d fractured. But she didn’t care. She’d never regret it. She’d never wish she could take back the irrefutable power they created when they were together. And so she forged ahead.
She covered his lips with hers. She plunged her tongue into his mouth, and he gripped her ass with both hands as she struggled for breath. Their teeth knocked together, but she didn’t care. She needed him, grasping his neck and shoulders with desperate fingers.
They moved backward as one until the backs of her thighs bumped the top of a heavy wooden table. He hoisted her up and slipped between her knees, pressing against her pelvis.
“Do you want me, Mila?” The sound of her name, ragged and strangled and tripping off his tongue, caught her deep between her thighs.
“Yes.” One syllable was all her muddled brain could choke out.
“Tell me,” he said, working his hands beneath her skirt and raking nimble fingers along her tingling skin. “None of this kid shit. I want to hear you say it.”
Her eyes closed, swirls of color spiraling behind the lowered lids. She sunk into the pressure of his hands on her hips, his fingers kneading her flesh and catching on the fabric of her lace thong.
“I want you.” She swallowed, summoning her voice and all the words clawing at her heart. “Even if it’s not forever.”
His brow pinched, his eyes darkened. “Oh yeah?”
She steeled herself, refused the old Mila who warned her against getting hurt. You can’t handle this, she said. But she could. She knew it now. It didn’t mean she didn’t love him. It meant she knew what she was capable of.
“Yeah.”
He swallowed, doubt crossing his face for just a moment before he tugged her skirt up until it pooled on the table around her. On unsteady legs, he took a step backward and hurriedly unbuckled his belt, yanking his pants and boxer briefs down around his knees.
With one hand stroking the length of his cock, he reached out and dragged a thumb across her sex, the sensation only slightly dampened by the thin stretch of fabric holding her together.
Her chest heaved, her breaths came in sporadic bursts. She swiped a hand across her tongue and grabbed his cock, coaxing him toward her. No time for games, no time for lingering glances and drawn-out teasing motions.
In one motion, he fell forward, catching his weight on either side of her and drowning her in a wave of his delicious scent. She breathed in through her mouth, dragging her lips against his throat as her arms and legs slithered around his body.
She grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled upward, dragging the garment past silky soft skin and over his head, ruffling his perfectly coiffed hair into something unruly and wild. The tresses matched the untamed look in his eyes.
“I want to see you,” he rasped.
She ripped off her jacket, her T-shirt, and her bra, all while he hovered over her, eyes burning into her skin like a mountain lion that hadn’t eaten in weeks.
The second the cold air kissed her skin, he lowered his face and took one peaked nipple into his mouth. His teeth nipped gently as he massaged her breast, the pressure between her legs growing and pulsing with every rhythmic motion.
His erection pressed at her entrance, the cotton of her thong growing damp with anticipation as his mouth worked. She huffed and moaned, choked and panted. The climax threatened already.
“I need you,” she said, raking her fingers through his soft tousled hair. She clutched him to her chest, his tongue lapping at her sensitive flesh.
Without removing his mouth from her breast, he tugged the thong aside and trailed the tip of his erection across her swollen lips. Her skin caught fire. How much more could she stand?
“Inside me,” she gasped, the swirling colors behind her eyelids turning to sparks. “I need it, J, I need it. Now.”<
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She fumbled around for the tiny purse abandoned behind her on the table and located the condom she’d tucked inside. She didn’t need to wait for him to take charge of the encounter or give her the go-ahead. She had it covered.
With the condom snugly in place, she wrapped her fingers around him and coaxed him inside her. He thrust once, and a yelp escaped her lips. The sound bounced off the barn walls like an animal in a trap. Except she was the animal, and she wanted to be caught.
“You’re unbelievable,” he groaned. He clutched her body to him, burying his face in her neck as he guided his hips against her again and again.
She lost herself, swallowed up in his steely biceps, the soft curve of his neck, the warm, sweet scent of his skin. They merged and melted, blended together until she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began.
His hands slid down to the table where she perched, using the heavy furniture as resistance while he rocked against her, coaxing the orgasm from the depths of her soul. With her fingers gripping his solid shoulders, her nails digging into his tight flesh, he pounded against her, and suddenly, she shattered.
She clung to him, the climax rolling out of her in waves. Her voice bounced off the barn walls, filling the space with a chorus of pure, unfiltered ecstasy. Her body shifted and pulsed, and he snaked one hand behind her neck to hold her as close as physically possible.
“Holy shit,” she gasped. “Jared.”
His body didn’t stop. With slow but purposeful motions, he rolled his hips and met her gaze, the desire searing into her memory as if it were the last sight she’d ever see.
With a pinched brow and parted, swollen lips, he tightened his grip on her, and she squeezed her thighs around his waist in response. The simple movement seemed to be all he needed. His body seized up, and he pressed his open mouth against her neck, jerking and stuttering and crashing against her as a dazzling smile overtook her lips.
Every inch of her sparkled, glittering and bright, despite the darkness that hugged them from all sides. This was all she ever needed. Pies and apprenticeships and million-dollar homes be damned. Whatever awaited them in the future, nothing could spoil the pure bliss of having him just like this.
He stood up slowly and stepped backward, his eyelids lowered and his mouth open in dazed pleasure. As he pulled up his pants and secured his belt, his eyes never left her. She made no move to redress or climb off the table.
“If you don’t cover yourself up soon,” he said, “I’m gonna have no choice but to make you come again.”
His voice, scratchy with lust, creeped under her skin and forced a fresh wave of electricity through her limbs. She widened her legs just a little bit farther.
His hands froze over his belt buckle, and his lips quirked into a grin. “Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? More, Mila?”
She licked her lips, pressed her shoulders back. If it were up to her, they’d never leave this barn. They’d create a life for themselves on this tabletop, giving each other brain-melting orgasm after brain-melting orgasm.
He sauntered toward her, his eyes floating between her breasts, heavy and peaked in the chilly night air, and her spread thighs. The scant bits of moonlight floating in through the open barn door hugged the firm planes of his chest and highlighted the ridges of his taut abs.
Desire pooled in her belly. No. She wasn’t done yet.
“If I tried,” he said, sinking against her, his breath hot on her neck, “could I make you come again? Right now?”
His warm fingers slid between her slick folds, toying with her already muddied brain.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re so wet.”
“Does that answer your question?”
She tilted her head back, soaking in every inch of his face as he buried two fingers deep inside her. A single cry escaped her lips as she tightened around him, instinctively drawing him even closer.
His thumb whispered across her clit, and her hips tilted, needing but not prepared for him all at the same time. As he worked his fingers back and forth, in and out, he lowered his mouth to hers and sucked her lower lip into his mouth.
“Tell me something,” she whispered. “Anything.”
A single exhale floated past her chin as he said, “You’re the best person I’ve ever known. You make me believe things I never thought I could.”
The timbre in his voice skated along her ear and down her spine, exploding her whole world into brilliant Technicolor. All her nerve endings sparked and fired at once, and before she could take another breath, her body gave in. She collapsed against his chest, her pussy tightening around him like never before.
As she breathed, one deep inhale after another, he traced a gentle hand from her neck to her jaw, resting his thumb and his gaze on her lips.
“I missed you,” she said. She pressed her lips against his thumb and rested her face in his hand. He felt so good. Like coming home.
“I missed you so freaking much.”
He slowly dragged his hand away from her and stepped back, giving her a moment to dress. After they’d both resurrected their semi-normal appearance, she took a step toward him. Her vision and rational mind clouded over with the events of the last twenty minutes.
“Listen.” He rested his hands on her hips and lowered his brow. “I’m gonna say something, and you might not like it.”
She straightened her spine. Whatever he had to say next, it wouldn’t break her. Not now.
“What?”
He sniffed and widened his stance so that they stood eye to eye. His lips tightened. “I’m closer than I’ve ever been. I’ve done a lot of thinking and I’ve talked to Sam and . . . I want to be with you.”
Shivers skittered across her skin. “Okay?”
He trailed his thumb across her hip bone. “I need to get there one hundred percent on my own. I need to know that I’m totally ready. Emotionally, mentally, financially, physically. Can you give me just a little bit of time?”
She wrinkled her brow. Time? He needed more time? She’d been prepared for one of two conversations to arise from what had just happened: moving on with each other or without.
How much grace could she sacrifice when she’d already given him so much? She heard Nicole’s voice, her mother’s voice. If Aunt Georgie were around to chime in, she’d have agreed.
You have such low expectations for the people in your life.
Jared’s hopeful face shone like the lake in moonlight. If she gave in to him now, she’d keep the possibility of something more with him alive. A life together. A future. And all at once she’d be telling him he could treat her however he liked. Put her second. Make her wait.
No.
She was done with all that. Done with waiting. Done with putting herself on the back burner.
“Mila, I—”
“No.” The word fell off her lips, confident and sure.
His forehead creased, and his thumb—previously making circles on her hip bone—froze mid-rotation. “No?”
“I’ve been on your schedule, Jared. I’ve waited for you. I’ve waited for everyone. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy making sure everybody else around me felt at ease. Need help around the house? No sweat, I’ll sacrifice my friends and hobbies to make dinner and do the laundry before starting my homework. Dreams too big they might hurt the whole family if they don’t work out? Cool, I can stay put at the diner and do the safe thing. Scared of marriage? Sure, I’ll pretend like I’m totally fine without a commitment for the rest of my days.”
His mouth tightened. “No, Lee, that’s not—”
“No, I’m speaking.” Every inch of her skin caught fire, alive with adrenaline and the remnants of desire. A lethal combination. “I’m done making other people feel comfortable at the expense of my own happiness. I want things, too. I want the apprenticeship with Indigo, I want to make pastries for a living, I
want to stop working at the diner, and I want to get married and have babies with somebody who doesn’t think that makes him a prisoner.”
His hands fell away from her body in one defeated move, brushing against the legs of his jeans as he took a step back. “I have never asked you to forfeit your own happiness. I only tried to be honest.”
“Being honest about being a coward doesn’t make it forgivable.”
She crossed her arms tightly over her chest and waited. Now was his moment. He could argue. He could fight back. He could fight for her and everything they’d created up to now.
“I’m not on your timeline,” he said. Even in the darkness she saw his cheeks flush red. Damn him for looking so beautiful even at the most inopportune time. “I’m trying my best, but I’m just not there yet.”
She bit down on her lip, refusing to lift her thumb to her mouth. “I’m tired of waiting.”
With her chin lifted, she turned over her shoulder. A tether—something like steel reinforced with the power of the gods—connected her heart to Jared’s, and as she walked away from him, the line tightened. She’d never be able to truly say goodbye to him. He was in her, a part of her history like rings in a tree trunk. But her history didn’t have to dictate her future.
chapter twenty-one
Jared ran a hand over his head, more a nervous tic than an actual effort at taming his already-smooth hair. He’d put extra effort that morning into making sure every single strand had its place and stayed there.
He hadn’t worn a tie. A bold move in traditionally corporate settings. His suit hugged every curve, navy-blue summer-weight wool tailored to perfection, the crisp white shirt underneath recently starched. Wearing that suit, he could sell sawdust to a lumber mill.
And judging from the lilt in Mr. Romano’s voice throughout the interview, he’d done something like it.
As Mr. Romano stood from behind the desk, buzzing his assistant to walk his interviewee out, Jared clenched his teeth. No suit in the world could erase the doubt floating around his mind. Nothing about this trip felt right. Not the twelve-hour drive down, not the swanky room at Indigo Hotels Raleigh they’d put him up in, not the hotel chain’s sleek corporate offices, and not the perfectly pleasant guy who’d carried out the seamless interview.
Sweet Love Page 26
