by TL Reeve
Jaqueline’s mind raced. Do I want to do what with what? She couldn't choose. The minute she stepped into the room, everything about their evening at the club changed and she wished she could tell Murray to take control from her. She didn't deserve it. She didn't have the wherewithal to wield it. She wasn't the dominant partner in this matchup and she never would be.
“I-I don’t know.” She rubbed her arm as she stared at the table. “The pressure...”
Luca took a step back. “How about this, together we’ll find a few toys you might want to try on Murray and while we’re looking you can decide how you want him to be. Naked or keeping his pants on.”
She gave a jerky head bob then followed Luca over to the cabinets to look inside. There were all kinds of dildos and vibrators. Whips, restraints, and floggers. Everything was marked and everything had a place. There was also a section for rope and another for wooden paddles. She swallowed hard. Again, the overwhelming sense of being woefully inadequate swamped her, pulling her deeper into the darkness.
“Jaq?” Luca touched her arm. “Too many choices?”
Her bottom lip trembled. She couldn’t do this. She wanted to, but it was as though her mind shut down on her, and everything she stared at was more a tool of torture than of pleasure. “I can’t. I...”
“Shh...” Luca tugged her into his embrace. “Breathe, just breathe. Some of us have it and some of us don’t. You’re submissive through and through, so finding the spark you need to become who you must is harder.”
“I can’t give up. I can’t be worthless,” she murmured against his chest. The spicy scent of his cologne enveloped her, grounded her.
“You’re not giving up.” Luca glanced down at her. “You’re becoming someone else. The added pressure of being on a mission doesn’t help either.”
“I don’t want to be anyone else, but me.” She pulled from his embrace and backed away from Luca. “I’m... I’m sorry. I can’t. This isn’t me. I’m the wrong person for this mission.” She opened the door and, without hesitation, fled.
Jaqueline was an emotional basket case. She went from heartbroken to angry to fearful to guilty. She’d left Murray on the floor. She was supposed to protect him and instead, she failed—miserably. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she let go for one minute and act like a normal human being? What was it about the mission she couldn’t grasp? Christian, Hannah, and Scotty were counting on the team to save them and yet, she couldn’t pull her head out of her ass for five minutes and play a game. Because, to her, that was all any of this was, a game.
“Hey?” Murray came up behind her. “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling?”
She gave a derisive chuckle. “Aren’t I supposed to be asking you those questions. Shouldn’t you be pissed off at me because I left you hanging back there.” Jaqueline crossed her arms. “I’m not cut out for this, Murray. I think it’s time we both face the facts. I’m going to fuck the mission up. You need to find a new partner, stat.”
"That's where you're wrong." He came around her, blocking her quick exit. "We're perfect together. You need to get out of your head as Luca said. I'm not sure how yet, but we'll get there."
Jaqueline snorted. “We’re running out of time. Before we know it, the auction will be here and we’ll still be floundering.”
“Which means we still have time to fix this. I believe in you, Jaq. I’m all in with you. Now, I just need you to be all in with me too.” Murray bent his head and brushed his lips over hers.
A hungry moan of need passed her lips, and Murray took advantage. The kiss was startling and passionate. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her off the ground and into his arms. She hissed as her back came in contact with the cold wall behind her. Murray muttered a curse as he flexed his hips, rubbing himself against her. She whimpered his name, her fingernails digging into his skin.
“Fuck,” he grunted. “I want inside you so bad.”
She wanted the same. The minute her mind quieted, all of her worries and misconceptions fled. “Me too.”
He groaned. While holding her with one arm, he used his free hand to unlace his pants. His movements were frantic. His blue eyes were wild with lust. They were explosive together when there wasn’t any pretense. He glanced up at her as he pushed her underwear to the side and rubbed his tip along her wet slit. Jaqueline’s heart lodged in her throat. She held her breath.
“Are you sure you want to do this out in the open?” Luca’s voice of reasoning cut through the lust-filled haze surrounding Jaqueline. “I don’t mind, but she might when she realizes what you’ve both done.”
Murray buried his face in her neck. “So close to feeling your pretty little pussy wrapped around me.”
She couldn't speak. Dazed and more than a little confused, she held onto Murray, not sure what to do next. "I'm—I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened." Before he could say anything, she extricated herself from his embrace then righted her clothes. "I'm sorry." She hurried down the hall back to the main area of the club. She could breathe there. Think there. As she sat on one of the empty barstools, she contemplated her next move—finding her replacement.
Chapter 5
The last few days were tense, to say the least. The ache in Murray's balls hadn't abated and every time he looked at Jaqueline, he was reminded at how close they'd come to blowing their cover. After watching the scene together and knowing full well it turned her on, he couldn't resist pushing her. She'd let him to. Now, she wouldn't talk to him. She avoided him at every turn and a few times, he heard her talking to herself and Asher.
Murray confronted her after the second conversation because he'd heard her ask for a replacement. The thought of losing Jaqueline because of her issues tore his apart. He couldn't allow her to walk away from the mission. He knew deep down, she'd regret it. She'd want to be there to be the first good-guy her brother would see. The conversation he had with Asher didn't bolster his confidence though. She was having a hard time. She'd told Asher everything about the night at the club and, when he saw the whole situation from her eyes, he couldn't blame her for wanting to walk away.
Unfortunately, or fortunately for Murray, Asher didn’t have anyone to pair Murray up with, so Jaqueline had to stay. It hurt their dynamic, he could already tell. The trust between them was fragile and her talking to his commander, behind his back, cracked the foundation. Nevertheless, he understood it too. She’d said it several times she couldn’t be a Dom. She didn’t have the gumption or tenacity for the position. She didn’t want to control everything, hell she’d been doing it for a better part of her life. Being submissive gave her the ability to turn off her brain and just be.
So, how did he fix their mess?
Luca pushed through the door of the library and grinned. "There you both are. I thought since everything went awry the other night, we'd try something different today." He pulled a set of keys from his pocket. "This place has more rooms than what you see here." He crossed the room to one of the inlaid bookshelves and placed a skeleton key into a hidden lock, something Murray hadn't noticed when they'd first arrived or the subsequent trips to the quiet space. "I thought my playroom would give us more privacy." He turned the key and the door swung inward against the wall, exposing a cinderblock staircase descending below the house.
Jaqueline stepped forward first. “I think it’s for the best. We don’t need to get caught or be interrupted.” Her words were flat as though she went through the motions. He hated it for her. She should want to let loose and have fun, not treat this as some chore.
“You led, I follow,” Murray replied.
The minute they stepped over the threshold, small circular spotlights came on, illuminating the passage. Murray hadn’t known what to expect when they got to the bottom of the stairs. Though Luca appeared to be a level-headed, but cocky guy, Murray listened to AJ. Luca was an unknown to Murray. For all he knew, Luca was the Christian Grey of the CIA and the room they were about to walk into was a ‘red’
room.
Luca placed his palm against the biometric pad to be scanned. When the door popped open, he ushered Jaqueline and Murray inside. Like with the steps, the minute they stepped over the threshold, the lights came on, brightening the space. It was bigger than Murray expected it. Glass French doors lined the western wall of the house and opened to a large secluded patio overlooking the five acres of property.
Along the south wall were several instruments and equipment he'd used before in a club setting. Another section of the room had been turned into a sitting area with a plush couch and a few leather wing-backed chairs. Luca also installed a small wet bar, however, Murray didn't see any liquor. Overall, he approved of the space. It was comfortable and inviting along with functional.
Murray glanced over his shoulder and spotted the medical table under a single light, positioned into an inclined sitting position and became curious. He’d seen them in clubs over the years, but not necessarily in someone’s home collection. Did he order it from Ashley Furniture? Badcock? He chuckled to himself.
“Let’s chat for a minute,” Luca said. “See if we can figure out what the issues are and why this isn’t clicking, besides the obvious.”
Murray crossed his arms. “Besides the obvious?”
“Yeah, you’re the Dom and she is the submissive,” Luca stated. “Is there a reason why you have flipped roles?” He motioned for Jaqueline to sit across from him.
“She knows the ins and outs of the club the best. Couldn’t walk in there and stumble around can I?” Murray cocked a brow, taking a seat on the couch.
“True,” Luca agreed. “How do you feel about all of this, Jaqueline?”
She glanced down at her hands. Before they left, she tied her hair up in a ponytail, weaving her colored locks in with her dark-chocolate hair. “Not very good.”
“Oh?” Luca cut his gaze to Murray. “Why’s that?”
"I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't even know if this will work. We could very well raid the place and be done with it." She tsked in frustration as she shot out of her chair. "I don't know Murray well enough to even pretend I'm in a relationship with him. What if I misstep? Besides knowing the inside of the building, shouldn't it be the person who's in the lifestyle leading this? Then, the other night... It put everything into perspective. I'm not cut out for this. Wouldn't it be easier to put Murray with someone who, I don't know, gets it?"
Luca motioned to himself. The move had a superior flare to it. "It's why I am here to help you." He sat forward, placing his elbows on his knees. "The other night you were turned on by the scene we watched. It got you excited. Hot." Luca wiggled his brows. "Wet. Your response to the scene showed Murray and me everything we needed to know. You were perfect for this role."
“How can you make me something I’m not? How do you know it was the Dom who got me hot and bothered and not the two submissives?”
“Let’s try this another way,” Luca said. “First, sit.”
She tilted her head as if she hadn’t realized she’d been standing, or even pacing the area between her and Murray. “Okay.” She sat, turning slightly so she faced Luca. “What next?”
“You were part of the Cuerpo de Fuerzas Especiales, right?”
She nodded. “Si, what’s your point?”
“Ever go undercover?”
Murray saw where Luca was going with his questions and he sat back. He'd been treating Jaqueline all wrong. He'd been using real-time scenarios with her, bringing her into the lifestyle by showing her what was expected. She didn't have a dominant bone in her body and yet, he treated her as if she did. Murray, if it were possible, wanted to kick his ass for being so obtuse with the whole situation.
“I did. Once,” Jaqueline stated.
“Did you become someone else while you were undercover?”
“Of course, I had to.” Her eyes widened, as though she figured out what Luca had been getting at. “Are you sure becoming someone else will work?”
Luca laughed. The bombastic sound echoed around them. “Yes. More than sure.”
“What do you want me to do?” Jaqueline asked, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth.
"I want you to become Madame Jacqueline. I want you to take on this character. If it means giving you a chance to make a list of what this person likes and dislikes, do so. I want her to be at the forefront of your mind. I want you to wear her like you would clothes. She is you and you, are Jacqueline. Understand?"
“I don’t speak French though.” She frowned. “I’m not even sure I could pull off another accent.”
“The best part of this, you can make your sub do all the introductions.” Luca turned his attention to Murray. “What do you think?”
What did he think? He smirked. It was hot as fuck. “I can do that. It’s not like subs don’t make introductions in some instances anyways. It’ll take some of the burden off of her and allow us to act more like an established couple.”
“Good,” Luca replied. “Now, would you like a few moments to gather yourself and build Madame Jacqueline?”
Jaqueline nodded. “Thank you.”
"Don't thank me yet," Luca said. "We're not completely back on the track."
Murray left her side to give her space to think. He’d fit into so many roles throughout his career, it was second nature to him, but for Jaqueline, she had to be given a person. She, in his observations, was a visual learner. She had to see who she needed to become. He hadn’t shown himself as the Dom in their relationship, he told her, so she didn’t understand. With Luca’s help and him becoming the Dom instructing Jaqueline, it would make everything click into place.
Luca joined him over at the glass French doors overlooking the property. “You’re kicking yourself right now, aren’t you?”
Murray snorted. “So, you noticed, huh?”
He shrugged. “A little. It’s not your fault. You have a very dominant personality so forcing your way through this wouldn’t work. You need a tad bit of finesse.”
“I won’t fuck you,” Murray said, cutting his gaze in Luca’s direction.
The man laughed. “You’re not my type. You’re too macho.”
“I’m a hacker.”
Luca chuckled. “You’re a military muscle head who happens to get code and how to manipulate it.”
“Touché,” Murray stated. “It’s not my life though. The military. I mean, I’m good at it. I get results, but I like my cyber world better than the real one.”
“And when you rescue your sister?” he hedged. “What then?”
Murray lifted his shoulders. "Don't know. I guess I spent a decade of my life trying to find her and only her while devoting my skills to Asher. I've used him more than I care to admit, so maybe it's time for me to figure out what I want to do, instead of what I have to do."
“You’d walk away from your team?” Luca cocked a brow.
“Maybe not fully walk away. More, reduce my time. Reacquaint myself with Hannah. Go home for a bit. Give her all the gifts I’ve bought over the years for her. Go on vacation.”
“And Jaqueline?” He peered over at the woman in question.
“Shit, she’s going to have her hands full too. It’s only been three years for her, but it won’t be easy either. Having me here...” Murray shook his head. “Too much chaos.”
"So, you're deciding for her without even knowing how she feels about it?" Luca placed his hands behind his back and sighed. "Doesn't sound like the Murray I read about."
"We all have to grow up sometime," he answered. "We don't know the condition our siblings have been living in for the last several years, Hannah most especially. I can't—I won't force all of us under one roof."
"Noble. Nobler than I'd be in this situation."
"Difference between you and me," Murray said. "I'm good at giving people space. You, on the other hand, like to use people."
Luca gasped. “You wound me.”
“Tell me something,” Murray stated, “why does AJ fear you?”
"She doesn't trust you as far as she can throw you and warned all of us off of you," he answered.
Luca frowned. “I have a particular way of getting things done. She was on an op of mine that went sideways really quick. She was still green, and I think it happened to be her first mission with Scotty. She did everything right. Both of them did, however, there were complications none of us could have prepared for. She saw me do things I wouldn’t necessarily do in a normal situation. I had to let the proverbial beast out of the cage and muscled my way into the area where they were holding the victims. The minute I opened that door and saw the cages...”
“You lost it.”
Luca nodded.
“How did it go? After?”
“Shaky,” Luca admitted. “We lost three women. They were already dead or were being killed the minute we breached.”
Murray blew out a breath. “Hence, everything going sideways.”
“Yep.”
It reminded him of Colombia, watching helplessly as Senator Lincoln’s men went on a killing spree. Sure, they ended up taking several of the bastards out, but in the long run, it left the village devastated. It also wiped out the majority of the Aquila Cartel, and, it’d been done because they’d known too much—knew how deep Senator Lincoln connections went along with his involvement. Which, all of their last two cases led to Dario Breslow finding Mateo and kidnapping him. It was a cluster fuck of epic proportions.
However, between the time the mission started, and Murray leaving Virginia, he'd been digging, trying to figure out what the fuck the Senator was looking for or what he wanted in Colombia. All of Senator Lincoln's actions had an end game, he wouldn't have put his life on the line for no return. Murray found the answer right before he left too. Unfortunately, he didn't have a chance to discuss it with Asher. And, it would appear, it would have to wait until they got this mission.
