I snort, nodding, and finish the rest of my breakfast. When I’m done, I meet Hikari by the sink. Mindlessly, I consider her words while washing our mugs and setting them on the drying pad. I use the same hand towel to dry my own hands. I can feel Hikari’s gaze on me, but I’m too preoccupied with my own thoughts to care about her watching me.
“Well, lovely chat, but I’m heading out to patrol, and I think you’re due in the training room,” Hikari says. She taps her wrist where a watch would sit if she actually wore one and offers a coy smile, at which I roll my eyes. I’m certain Malik has been waiting for me ever since I woke up, but I’m not ready to spar. I’m still shaky from yesterday, and I don’t want to miss Holland’s arrival.
I’m too preoccupied with my thoughts to realize Hikari is walking away. By the time I shout to her, she’s already in the dining room and heading for the front door.
“Be careful tonight!” I yell.
There’s something about the feel of a weapon in my hand. The cool metal radiates power, sending shock waves from my hands into every nook of my body. Knowing I have the power to end life leaves me euphoric. I imagine this is why so many vampires choose to turn rogue, abandoning our practices and choosing death and power over secrecy and longevity.
I’d be lying if the thought of turning off my emotions and simply living by my urges didn’t appeal to me. If that were possible, it would be so easy to walk away from everything I once knew, to stop fighting for the weak and live among the powerful. Of course, that’s easier said than done. I can’t literally turn off my emotions, and it seems far too great a hassle to simply pretend I don’t have any at all.
An exasperated Malik exhales sharply. His usually unemotional face is pierced with his frustration. “Ava, please. Focus.”
Guilt gnaws at my innards. I offer a weak smile and say, “Sorry. I’m just…distracted.” I shrug.
“I understand your excitement, but training must remain your priority,” Malik says.
I nod sharply. He doesn’t need to remind me that this is important. I know it is. But the anticipation over the incoming Holland isn’t my only distraction. I can’t stop worrying about Hikari, who’s hunting alone, and I’m afraid I’ll let loose and unleash a magical blast that will bring down the entire house. The last thing I need on my conscience is leaving a dozen vampires homeless.
“This just isn’t a good time,” I say, defeated.
Malik furrows his brow as if he thinks I’m still not taking this seriously. I know he doesn’t believe that I’ve made training with him a priority, but he should. I want to become stronger, faster, better. I don’t want to fear for my life when I’m outnumbered by rogue vampires, who are our naturally more ferocious enemies. I want to aid my friends when they need me. I don’t want to worry that the witches might come for their revenge, and I want to trust I can protect myself against the mysterious vampire who keeps sending his goons after me.
“Do you fear for my safety? Is that why you’re holding back and not focused?” Malik asks.
“I, uh…” I shake my head. Of course I’m worried about that. I can’t control myself when the heat of the moment overtakes my self-control.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Ava. You can’t hurt me,” Malik says.
“You don’t know that,” I whisper. I wish he would take this seriously. He wasn’t there when I engulfed our enemies in flames. I killed so many rogues with the mere snap of my fingertips. If Malik was smart, he’d never train with me again.
The basement training quarters provides the perfect sparring room. The mat floor is squishy, and except for one row of floor-to-ceiling mirrors and a section of displayed weapons, the walls are padded. It’s like we’re fighting inside a marshmallow. The cushion is just enough so we don’t get injured, and since I spend most of my time falling on my butt down here, I can say that with confidence. I’m sure that’s why Malik believes I can’t hurt him. This room is designed to withstand a thrust to the chest, but it’s not meant for a blast of magic. And even though Malik is trying to reassure me, he cannot survive a fireball to the face.
Malik walks toward me and rests a hand on my shoulder. I look up at him. He’s smiling down at me. His eyes are soft, his gaze telling me everything will be okay. If only I could believe that…
“I—sorry, I’m just not ready for this yet,” I say. “It’s too dangerous, and I can’t concentrate.”
“Ava…” Malik’s voice is calm, soft. In this moment, he looks so much like Jasik, his younger brother, yet still so different. Malik is older, and the world-worn look in his eyes betrays that. He and his brother have survived far too many years of pain, torture, and solitude. They’ve experienced more death than any person should in one lifetime. I think that’s why Malik is so closed off from his emotions. Rarely do I see him react to anything.
“It’s not safe to spar. Not yet. Not until Holland…” I trail off. Not until Holland what? I’m not sure what Holland can do besides help me learn control. I’m guessing this foreign power inside me is here to stay. I just hope I can learn to control it so it doesn’t control me.
“I said you can’t hurt me,” Malik says. “Not because you’re unable to but because you have no desire to injure me. You won’t hurt me, Ava.”
“How can you be so sure?” I whisper. “You weren’t there…”
“I don’t need to witness your power to trust you have no yearning to use it against me,” he says.
Malik drops his arm and takes a step toward me. I swallow the knot that forms as he closes in on me.
“Your power, your strength, is no different than mine. I’m strong. I’m the enemy of a witch, yet I feel no urge to protect myself around you. I never have.”
Looking into each other’s eyes, we breathe the same air. He reaches forward and brushes loose strands of my hair from my eyes and tucks it behind my ear. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, is warm, familial. Malik is the brother I never knew I needed. When he looks at me, I can feel his devotion to protect his family. Slowly, we’re becoming that to each other.
The day I died and was reborn, I would have given all that I own if only my former coven would take me back. Now, I can’t imagine living without the vampires. It’s hard to remember the girl I used to be. It’s strange to think there was a time when Jasik wasn’t my sire and Malik wasn’t my trainer.
“You can’t hurt me, Ava, so stop worrying that you will,” Malik whispers. He offers a small smile before pulling away.
Someone clears her throat behind us, and we spin around to face the intruder.
“Hikari, you’re back,” Malik says. He takes several steps away from me and toward her.
I turn to see her frowning at me and gnaw on my lip. I breathe quickly, trying to steady my racing heart. I can’t help but feel like a child who’s just been caught stealing a cookie before supper. While I know our intentions were good and true, an onlooker might not be privy to that knowledge.
“How was your patrol?” I ask, hoping to steer our conversation in another direction. Even though I wish she would have caught us in the midst of an epic sparring session rather than staring deeply into each other’s eyes, I’m grateful to see Hikari safe and unharmed. I truly was concerned for her well-being. Hunting alone when we have a target on our backs is just plain sloppy leadership.
“It was…strange,” she says.
Strange? Kind of like walking in on Malik and me sharing an intimate moment and probably assuming it to be something it’s not? I shake away the thought.
“How so?” Malik asks, clearly interested. I wonder if he was worried about her patrol too. Unlike me, he rarely showcases his emotions. I’ve seen more from him today than I’ve ever seen before.
“Well, I didn’t run into any rogues, so I kept venturing farther and farther into the woods. Eventually, I ended up close to your old coven. I decided to check in on them—”
“You what?” I shout, interrupting her. “Why would you do that?”
“Well, I was nearby, and someone needs to keep an eye on them,” she says.
“If they see you, they’ll think we’ve been spying on them this whole time,” I say.
“And they would be correct. I don’t trust them, Ava! Someone needs to be watching them,” Hikari shouts.
“Relax, both of you,” Malik says. His voice is loud enough to tear through the tension-filled room. “What happened when you got there?”
“It looked like they were getting ready to go into the woods. They had stakes and crosses and were clearly dressed in combat clothes.”
I furrow my brow. How’s that possible? No one from my coven ever patrolled. I took control of that and never looked back. I was under the impression Mamá didn’t really approve of my patrols, but she understood the importance of keeping the humans of Darkhaven safe.
“What is it, Ava?” Malik asks. I didn’t realize the room fell silent, and the two of them were now staring at me.
“This doesn’t make sense. They wouldn’t patrol,” I say.
“Who would take over for you?” Hikari asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. No one, I guess.”
“Well, if you want to talk about something not making sense…” Hikari trails off, and Malik clears his throat. She offers a weak apology and waits for me to continue.
“What exactly were they doing?” I ask.
“They were preparing to patrol. I know what that looks like, Ava.” Hikari doesn’t try to hide her annoyance.
“But then what?” I ask, urging her to continue.
She frowns. “It was weird. They entered the woods through the gate in your backyard, and then they all scattered. No two witches stayed together.”
I meet her gaze, and something in my eyes must alert her.
“What is it?” Malik asks.
“My coven wasn’t experienced in fighting, and they happily left it to me. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t teach everyone basic combat tactics. They were sure group attacks would be necessary one day,” I say. I guess they were right. Without me, all they have is each other.
“So what does that mean?” Hikari asks.
“Think about it. When you’re hunting in a group and close to your enemy, you break off individually to surround her.”
Hikari gasps. I assume the realization is hitting her hard. Tonight, she risked her neck to patrol alone because the rest of us were too busy or too distracted to help. Then she checked in on the witches because no vampire in this house trusts them—unfortunately, that now includes me too.
“Hikari, they knew you were there. The witches were hunting you.”
Chapter Four
The rush of excitement upstairs distracts me long enough to forget about the threat of the witches. Ever since I transitioned into a vampire, my senses became heightened. With a more acute sense of hearing, I’m able to home in on specific noises. The foyer is directly above us, and the distinct sound of muffled greetings sends me on edge. A visitor has arrived, and that can only mean one thing.
Holland is finally here.
Understanding we will need to discuss the witch debacle another time, Malik, Hikari, and I exit the basement sparring quarters and rush upstairs. I can barely contain my excitement. It’s been far too long since I’ve had another witch to talk to, and I just may discover what happened during my transition. Clearly something went awry. I shouldn’t be able to access magic, but for some reason I can. Now I just need to learn how to control it—that is, as long as this isn’t some fluke that will pass.
Briefly, I let myself pretend this magic is here to stay and I can control it as well as I controlled it before I became a vampire. I envision a future where the alien energy source yields to me, and I wield it to do my bidding, not the other way around. Our nightly hunts would be so much easier.
The stairs to the basement lead to the kitchen, which is at the back of the manor. Quickly I make my way through the kitchen and into the dining room. I ascend upon the sitting room and can see the swarm of vampires huddled in the foyer. Jasik is there.
As soon as I approach, my sire and I make eye contact. Something glistens behind his gaze, and I realize he too is excited for Holland’s arrival. I suppose he wants answers as badly as I do. For the briefest of moments, I let myself believe he desires those answers because he cares for me—and not because it’ll help the vampires of this household better understand our situation. He needs Amicia and the vampires to forgive him as much as I need them to fully accept me, not just tolerate me.
It’s no secret there is a budding attraction growing between us. Even though I was raised to hate vampires, I feel as though I was born to become one. I’ve always preferred night to day, solitude to crowds, and even the liquid diet doesn’t bother me much anymore.
As one of my former coven’s only spirit users, I was always singled out. I never felt comfortable—even Mamá kept me at a distance after Papá died. When I was growing up, I thought that was because she secretly blamed me for his death. Instinctively, I reach for my cross necklace, only to find my neck bare.
If there’s anything I need to get used to, it’s not drinking blood, staying out all night, sleeping all day, and avoiding humans as if they’re the plague; it’s completely relinquishing my past life as if it never existed. I can never again find solace in what once comforted me.
I can’t see Holland, but I know he’s here. The swarm of vampires standing in the foyer is a dead giveaway. I scan their faces. Jeremiah is conveniently missing. I’m sure that’s because of their bad breakup. I make a mental note to thank him later. Holland might not have shown up for anyone else.
The vampires clear, giving me full view of our intruder, and I don’t give the Jeremiah-Holland situation another thought; I’m too focused on the witch before me.
Holland is tall, thin, pale-skinned, with floppy brown hair fluttering atop his head. As soon as the door closes and the breeze dies down, his hair settles into a heaping mess. I imagine he trekked quite the journey to get here in a day’s time.
It occurs to me I know nothing about this man except for what Hikari told me—and that wasn’t much. I don’t know why he left his coven or where he lives now. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding his first arrival here and his relationship with Jeremiah. I don’t know if he’s expecting a favor from me in return for his knowledge. In my entire life, I’ve never felt so unaware of my situation and surroundings. And that says a lot since I’m used to being both hunter and hunted.
The closer I walk toward Holland, the more I assess him. His chestnut eyes are soft, kind. When he smiles, there are wrinkles in the skin around his eyes, and there are dimples in his cheeks. He laughs at something one of the vampires says, and I relish in how comfortable he seems. It’s as if he’s not the only mortal in the midst of immortals. Nothing about him screams fear or hatred. In fact, he seems like he’s finally come home.
He and I make eye contact, and I freeze. My breath catches in my throat, and I nearly choke on it. Someone collides with me from behind, and I feel the press of his solid body against my own. Malik wraps his hands over my arms and breathes against my head. He asks if I’m okay, but I don’t answer. I’m unable to, and I can’t seem to break eye contact with Holland.
Taking the initiative, our visitor walks toward me, a smile creasing his face. His features are delicate, and absolutely nothing about him is threatening. But I can’t help the urge to run away, to fight, to survive. This is the first time I’ve been this close to a witch since my transition and acceptance into my new vampire lifestyle, and it’s as if the vampire in me is warning me of impending danger. My natural instincts kick in—it’s fight or flight.
Or is there another choice? Can there be something more? The vampires here have already shown me witches and vampires can be friendly. Everything I grew up believing isn’t true. The witches lied, and now I can’t shake the innate discomfort I feel when I’m around Holland. I pray it won’t be this way forever.
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To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. I had such high hopes for this meeting, for Holland’s knowledge. I thought I’d have someone to share my witchy wisdom with. I thought we’d become friends.
“You must be Ava,” Holland says. He walks toward me, stopping only an arm’s reach away, and offers me his hand. “I’m Holland.” He gives me a wide, genuine smile and waits for me to reciprocate.
My gaze drops to his hand, and I stare at it momentarily. I lick my lips and swallow the knot that has formed. Slowly, I reach for his hand. I’m so used to the feeling of a cool, lifeless touch, I’m not sure how he will feel under my grasp.
I slide my hand against his, and shivers shoot through me. They sting up my arm and through my chest until they penetrate my heart. I gasp, focusing on his soft, supple skin. Everywhere his skin touches mine tingles. My skin hums, his vibrating caress erupting life within me and through me.
His hand is so warm. The moment I wrap my fingers around it, I gasp. I can feel the blood rushing through his veins. His skin is so thin, I swear I can actually see the life inside him. It’s warm and blue, and I know it tastes so good. I run my tongue against the points of my fangs and imagine his blood turning from blue to bright red right before my eyes.
“You’re not around humans much, huh?” Holland asks with a chuckle.
It’s enough to break my concentration. I jerk my hand away and stumble backward. Malik is still behind me, and I fall against him. He groans inwardly, but I hear his frustration. He’s probably annoyed that I couldn’t focus during our training session because of my excitement for this very moment, yet I’m acting like a total wreck now that it’s finally here.
It never occurred to me that this would be my first encounter with mortal flesh. I didn’t realize the hold blood still has over me. Succumbing to a liquid diet was hard for me. It took weeks just to get comfortable making my own breakfast. I feel like I’m recessing back into the Ava I used to be—the timid, unsure creature I was the first night Jasik brought me here. I don’t want to be her anymore. I want confidence and strength.
Dark Magic (Darkhaven Saga Book 2) Page 4
