by Snow, Jenika
“Can I get a medium iced chai latte with almond milk?” She looked over at me and smiled. “What do you want?”
I shrugged as I looked at the menu. “I don’t drink coffee, so I really don’t know.”
She laughed softly, and I glanced back at her. God, that sound made my entire body feel so fucking good.
“You pick,” I finally said.
She gave Mitchell my order, and I didn’t miss how he eyed me. It was a pretty blank expression, but I could almost hear his thoughts, as if he wondered what I was doing with her.
I went for my wallet, but the feeling of her warm, small hand over mine, of her skin against mine, had my entire body tightening and my dick threatening to punch through the zipper of my jeans. God, even a small touch from her felt incredible.
“Getting drinks for free is one of the perks of working here. The owner actually wants us to try all of them, so we can recommend them to the customers.”
The look she gave me had me wanting to lean down and capture her mouth with mine. And thankfully before I could do that—because the truth was, I was about a second away from taking her mouth in a searing kiss—she was walking away from the counter and heading toward one of the little tables off to the side. There was an outcropping beside the table, giving it a little bit of privacy, which I appreciated. She sat down, and I took the seat across from her as we waited for our drinks.
We sat there in silence, but it wasn’t the awkward kind that made you shift on your seat and wish you were somewhere else. I had a feeling this was how it would always be with her. I wanted to know everything, anything about Harlow. But I didn’t want to seem like a fucking creep and start asking her personal questions. If she wanted to give me a shred of information about her, I would gladly eat it up like a starving man. But it would be on her terms.
“What school did you go to before this one?” she finally asked, breaking up the silence as if she read my mind.
I leaned back in my seat. I knew I’d have to be honest about everything, so might as well just get it all out in the open now. I was a little worried, because I didn’t want her to see me as some kind of huge fuck-up, to be turned off and not want to hang out with me again. That very thought had my stomach clenching and distaste filling me.
The thought of not being able to talk to Harlow or see her when I’d just now resolved myself that I wasn’t going to fight how I felt for her did scare me. She was someone special, and I wanted to keep her in my life.
“Trudeau High.” I doubt she’d heard of it, seeing as we’d moved out of state to have a fresh start. I could see on her expression that she wanted to ask more questions, but she didn’t have to. I’d give up the information to her. “I got expelled, because I got into too many fights.”
I watched as her throat worked when she swallowed, but she didn’t change her expression. “Can I ask what happened with that?”
I cleared my throat that was tightening as embarrassment filled me. I didn’t want to tell her, to say it all out loud. I was apprehensive on what she’d think of me, which was the reason why I hesitated. But in the end, I knew I just needed to get it out in the open.
“My mom has cancer. She’s going through treatments, or she was. She just finished up and we moved here. She wanted a fresh start.” I’d wanted to stay, so she could still see her doctors, but she insisted, found new doctors, and here we were. I stared at Harlow, trying to gauge her reaction to all this. “But growing up, it was just her and me. We didn’t have money, and we rented a shitty little apartment. All through elementary and middle school, even the first part of high school, I was known as trash. I was known as the boy who didn’t have money or the nicest clothes, whose mom worked two jobs at the bars in town to make ends meet.” I cleared my throat and shifted on the seat. I felt weird saying all this out loud. “So the only way for me to survive, do not get beaten down day in and day out, was to fight for survival. So detentions, suspensions, and then finally expulsion landed me in Silver Creek.”
I shrugged, trying to be calm, to play this off like it was nothing. “This is my last chance to not fuck things up. Not only do I need to make something out of myself, but I need to make my mom proud. She’s already been through enough shit that she doesn’t need a son who can’t control his anger when he butts heads with someone.”
There, it was out in the open, and Harlow could do with that information what she wanted. She’d probably never want to see me again. Because who wanted to be friends with someone drawn into so much trouble that they had to start a new school in a different state?
“And because I’ve already told you all of that shit, I might as well also tell you that it wasn’t just in school that I got in trouble. I’ve been in trouble with the police as well, petty things like shoplifting and vandalism.” I had my hands clenched on my lap underneath the table so she wouldn’t see them, wouldn’t see how tense I was over this.
My entire body was tight, my muscles clenched. I was starting to sweat, never in my life having told anybody all this shit, because I never cared enough about someone to be honest with them. Sure, everyone in my old town knew, but here? I was somebody new, someone different. And as she stayed silent, not saying anything, probably processing it all, all the things playing through her mind of the horrible shit I’d done, I felt that tension in me grow.
No doubt, she didn’t need to be involved with someone like me.
“I wish I could say I stole shit, because me and my mother needed to eat. I wish I could say I vandalized other people’s property, because they deserved it at the very least. But the truth is, I had a lot of hate and anger built up, and I took it out on everyone and everything. So I’m trying to make things right, to be a better person now. Better late than never, I guess.” I cleared my throat, shifting back and forth on the seat. And still, she stayed silent. “So all the trouble in school had me being held back. And that’s why I’m a nineteen-year-old trying to finish his senior year, about to be twenty and hoping like hell he graduates to make his mom proud.”
She still had yet to say anything, but the silence was broken up when Mitchell brought over our drinks. He stood there for a second, maybe wanting to talk to her, but I could tell he felt the vibe between us. He excused himself before walking away.
I wrapped my hand around the plastic cup of the strawberry lemonade she’d gotten me, chunks of fruit mixing with the ice. I stared down at it, feeling awkward, fucking hating it.
Maybe I should have just kept my damn mouth shut about all of that.
“I’m really sorry about your mom,” she finally said, her tone sincere.
I looked up at her, surprised that after all that, Harlow was empathetic toward my mom.
“It’s good news she’s done with treatment though, right? That means it helped?”
I swallowed roughly, the sudden emotion filling me. I nodded and cleared my throat. “Yeah, they say she’s in remission.” I stared into her big blue eyes, seeing the genuine care reflected back at me. Shit, I’d never felt such profound emotion before, not since my mom found out she had cancer, and then when they told her she was in remission.
Harlow smiled. “That’s really great, Aiden.” She brought her cup up to take a long pull from her straw, her ice clinking together, seeming extraordinarily loud in that moment.
“That’s it?” I asked, a little bit surprised.
She set her cup down, and I saw the way her eyebrows pulled down in confusion. “That’s it? What do you mean?”
I shrugged and brought my drink up, taking a sip out of a straw. The truth was, I didn’t even like lemonade, but because Harlow had picked it out, it tasted fucking incredible. “I’m just surprised you didn’t say anything about all that other shit, about how I’m such a fuck-up.” I had one hand resting on the table, the other one wrapped around the base of the cup. Before I knew what was happening, she reached out and placed her palm over the back of my hand, making every single muscle in my body contract.
“Y
ou’re not a fuck-up, Aiden.” She added a little bit of pressure to the back of my hand, and I felt my pulse race. “I may not have known you for very long, and I’m just finding out who you are, what makes you tick, but I can tell you’re a good person and have a good heart.” She gave me a sad, small smile. “You’re putting your mother first, thinking about her. I can see in your eyes when you talk about her that you love her very much and only want the best.”
Her touch felt like fire on my skin in the best of ways. I’d ever wanted to burn so badly.
“Everyone has problems in their life. It’s the ones who don’t want to make a change that are fuck-ups.” She slid her hand off mine, her fingers trailing over my flesh. I wanted her touch back desperately. “And you do want to make a change, so you’re the opposite of a fuck-up, Aiden.”
I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to respond. I was speechless. But what I wanted to do was stand up, walk over to her, get down on my knees, cup her face in my hands, and kiss her until she was breathless, until she could feel my need for her… until she knew I would never let her go.
But I stayed seated, stayed silent. I gave her a thankful, grateful smile. And for the rest of the time we sat there, neither of us spoke, but it was perfect silence.
It was fucking perfect.
Chapter Ten
Harlow
We drove from the coffee shop to my place with little talking. Aiden had the radio on low, and I couldn’t help glancing at him continuously. I kept thinking about what he told me at the coffee shop, about his mom, the troubles at school, the violence and fighting. And I knew from his expression, by the tone of his voice after he told me all of that, that he expected my reaction to be the worst.
But the truth was, I didn’t see a troubled guy, didn’t see someone who was bad news. I saw a boy who was hurting, who’d been shit on by everyone around him. He’d done what he had to do out of survival.
I wanted to let him know that I was here for him, that I wasn’t like any of those other people. I wouldn’t look down on him, wouldn’t think he was less than what he was, simply because he didn’t have a lot of money, or because his mother had worked at bars, or any of that. I saw Aiden for the man he was. He was good and kind. I saw it and felt it.
He pulled to a stop in front of my house, and I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave him.
I shifted on the seat so I could look at him, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. He cleared his throat, and I felt my heart jump a little bit. What would he say? Would he regret seeing me today, confiding all that stuff in me?
“Thank you for today,” he finally said, his voice deep and thick, and I wondered if it was like that because of emotion. “I’ve never actually said any of that stuff out loud to anyone.” He slid his hands off the steering well and rested them on his lap as he looked at me. His eyes were so dark, almost like black pools. I felt like he could read me so easily.
“Why did you tell me all that?” I was curious why he had opened up so easily, or maybe it hadn’t been easy at all. Maybe it had been one of the hardest things he ever had to do. “Thank you for sharing it with me,” I said. I’d never had anybody be so open with me, baring a part of themselves that I knew they probably weren’t proud of. And I’d been able to tell Aiden hated that part of his past, how he’d handled things. But the fact that he wanted to change, to be better, to not resort to violence or theft, or even vandalism, told me a lot about his character and his heart.
But the truth was, even if he was still that person, the one who got into fights, the one who was acting out, since he hurt so badly because of his circumstances and the health issue with his mother, I still would’ve felt these things for him.
I still would have wanted him desperately, more than I ever wanted anybody in my entire life.
And although I knew I probably shouldn’t do what I was about to, what I was thinking of doing, needing to do with so much desperation I could taste it on the tip of my tongue, I found myself leaning forward and placing a hand on his muscular thigh. I felt his body tense beneath my palm, watched as his eyes widened ever-so-slightly as he probably wondered what the hell I was doing.
I was crowding him, the interior of the car tiny, the heat rising. His dark eyes drilled into mine, and I felt my pulse kick into overdrive.
“Aiden,” I whispered his name, unsure if I meant to say anything after that, but unable to speak anymore regardless.
And before I could make a move, he slipped his hand along my cheek, down the side of my neck, and curled his fingers around the nape of my neck. He tipped my head back with his fingers, and then he had his mouth on mine. His kiss was warm, his lips firm. He smelled so good, and when he slipped his tongue along the seam of my mouth, I’d never tasted anything better.
I didn’t know what this all meant. Maybe it meant nothing at all. Maybe it was just two people who connected in a way, in a moment, and this was how they wanted to show that appreciation, that closeness.
Or maybe it meant everything.
And when I pulled back and neither one of us spoke, my pulse thundering in my ears, I knew I didn’t want this to end. I wanted this to be just the beginning.
There was a lot I wanted to say, more kissing I wanted to do, but before I screwed this up, said something that would ruin this moment, I whispered goodbye and opened the door. I got out of his car, feeling his gaze on me the entire time and not being able to help the smile forming on my lips.
There was definitely something between us, and I wanted to find out how deep it went.
* * *
Aiden
I don’t know how long I sat in her driveway, watching her, staring at her departing as she headed inside. I lifted my hand and touched my lips. They tingled. I knew I’d remember that kiss forever. I knew nothing would ever top it.
That first kiss. The one that steals your breath, makes your heart stop.
And I knew, in this moment, on this day, that there was nothing more I wanted than to keep Harlow close.
And I knew I’d do just that, screw things getting in the way. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and fuck anything or anyone who tried to get in my way of making her my reality.
Chapter Eleven
Harlow
The party-Saturday night
Well, here we were, staring at Braxton’s house. I felt all kinds of dread and disgust, but I sat in the passenger seat of Aiden’s car, and I felt comfortable, happy in his presence. He could make that horrid feeling just disappear with a snap of his fingers.
As soon I let Pixie peer pressure me into coming to one of Braxton’s parties, I regretted it. And I’d seen on Aiden’s face, he hadn’t been all for the idea either. But here we were, both of us about to stick out like sore thumbs. Well, that’s how I felt at least.
“Ready?” he asked, and I looked over at him.
“No, but here we go.”
He smiled, and I felt my stomach twist in pleasure.
Since the kiss in his car, we hadn’t done anything ese, hadn’t even spoken about it. Which made me start to think it was all an “in the moment” thing. I didn’t want that though, hated to even think it, because I felt such profound things for Aiden. But on that same token, I saw the way he looked at me at times. I couldn’t pretend, didn’t want to assume, it was all in my head and the heat I saw in his eyes wasn’t actually there. I didn’t want to think it was my own desire to have him want me with the same intensity in which I wanted him.
We got out of his car and headed toward the front door. There were so many people outside, the music blasting from the open doorway and windows, that my ears were already ringing. I moved out of the way as a couple guys played—no doubt drunken—football, even had to walk over a guy passed out on the lawn. A couple were on the porch making out, or hell, maybe even having sex, judging by the motions I caught before I quickly looked away.
I glanced at him, assuming he’d be looking at the sexing-it-u
p couple, but instead he had his focus right on me.
“You good?” He sounded so worried, as if he wanted to make sure I was fine.
I smiled and nodded. “I’m good. Are you?”
He grinned and gave me a wink, and I felt my body instantly heat.
Once inside, he pushed a couple guys to the side so we could walk in.
“Show me your tits,” a drunk yelled at a girl passing by, and she gave him this saucy little smile, her eyes red-rimmed, and lifted her shirt to show him what he wanted. Everyone started cheering, and I felt my face heat.
Yeah, this wasn’t my scene.
I looked at Aiden and saw he wore a controlled expression. He had some stubble across his cheeks and jaw, making him seem even older than he was. He might only be nineteen, but his maturity level surpassed all these guys.
He looked at me, and I mouthed, I’m sorry. Actually speaking right now would have been drowned out by the noise.
He didn’t say anything, didn’t even tear his gaze from mine; instead, he reached out and took my hand in his. My heart did this little hiccup thing, and the emotions I felt in that moment couldn’t be called anything but elated.
He leaned in close and said against the shell of my ear, “I don’t want you getting lost in a sea of dirty fuckers.” He tightened his hand in mine, and when he pulled back, I felt his cheek brush against mine. My breath caught.
I knew a party like this would be a testosterone free-for-all with everyone drinking and partying, with almost-sex going on in every corner, but God, I was glad I’d brought him as I felt him hold my hand and weave us through the people. He pushed guys out of his way, and I swore they parted for him, as if they were afraid.
