"Coffee?" Suggests, trying to bring back on track this surreal moment of normalcy. He wonders at what point has recently revived its past, perhaps unconsciously, perhaps in a dream. Because only this could explain what he is seeing: a remarkable similarity that his mind is working as something more. Of addition .
"No, really, just water," confirms Daniel.
Cristina sends a meaningful look at her mother. It is not at home is saying. From a drink and then leave to go home without talking too much . She remains close to Daniel, without setting foot in the kitchen.
Simona fills a glass and hands it to her daughter. Approach the guy you think a company beyond its capabilities, too destabilizing to its present state of mind. It would be like to get in touch with a person belonging to a different time from her and yet coexistent with her. A paradox. A step towards madness from which he always tried to stay away during the last twenty years.
"Thanks," Daniel murmured, recovering the glass from the hands of Cristina and scolandolo in an instant. "I do not want to sound rude, but I really want to go, because ..."
"No problem," he assures Cristina. Start thinking of making a stupid: it was too early to bring his boy home, even for a hit and run. I'll say the unusual attitude of Daniel and the even more incomprehensible to her mother. "I'll walk." It goes to the door, preceded him.
"Thank you again, goodbye" Daniel repeated, staring into the eyes Simona. She stares, not to mention, and this time sees and understands, without a doubt.
Daniel is Fabrizio.
I'll suggest the light in his eyes and half smile that says goodbye: a defiant grin. It lasts a split second, but it is unmistakable. Then the guy turns around and follows Cristina, disappearing forever in the sight of Simon, as he did in February 1984. Or rather, as it seemed to be doing.
Cristina and Daniel reach the gate at the end of the driveway. From its position Simona does not see them. The noise of cars in transit covers his ears the sound of her voice that greets him and kiss the crack of that reserve. He feels it is only the smart set in motion and slamming the gate is closed, as is usual to Cristina.
A few seconds after you return. "Man, as he was embarrassed," she says.
"It's your ..." begins Simon, spirited, yet still in first position, hands at his sides.
"More or less," Cristina replied, remaining vague. "I mean, yes. See you in a while '. We are together, but ... for now nothing superserio. Are you angry because I told you so? "She adds, playing in his own way the attitude of Simon.
"No, no. I'm alright. "
"It's a great guy, for that matter," says Cristina, not entirely convinced of the mother's response.
Simon would not comment.
"I'm going for a shower," concludes Christine, while the dark shadow the face. It is madly in love with her and Daniel can not tolerate even the slightest doubt by Simona, which instead gives the impression of having many.
***
Simon returns to the kitchen on unstable legs, which no longer recognizes as his own. The same environment where you can rediscover now seems alien to his house, the ironing board on which he left the hot iron a few minutes ago, his mother who strives undaunted pleasant to read articles. You feel dizzy, like after a series of somersaults, and thinks that deep down it is so: the unexpected meeting has rolled past, then catapultarla back to the present, an improbable journey of forty in a few seconds.
"Mom," he murmurs, without really knowing what was about to say. Anyone who saw her at this time do not recognize, is the image of the panic, confusion, stunning. Of fear, too.
Isa does not even raise his head. He did not hear it or wants to believe.
"Mom," Simon repeated, raising his voice. "He ... did you see? "
Isa remains motionless and impassive. "What?" Asked, biting his words, as if he had been forced to speak.
"He" says Simona. "The boy Cristina. Have you seen him? "
"No." The answer is dry, but not convincing. A clash is the head down, refusing to look her daughter in the eye while speaking. "I have glasses," he adds. The voice betrays a slight tremor.
Simona squeezes her eyes and felt himself grow into new and overwhelming emotion. Not positive, though. "Mom," he hisses. "You need glasses to see up close. You are not myopic "he observes.
Isa is to open your mouth again, but it retains the last minute. She sighs and tries to mask his involuntary and instinctive reaction to turning a page of the magazine. In the excitement and nervousness almost tears.
"Mom," repeats Simon. In the face is white with red patches on the cheeks. The rage he feels is violent to the point spillarle a solitary tear. He feels that could explode at any moment, uncontrolled, and there would be no love for his mother, or self-awareness to keep her. It would be dangerous. It is no longer her. "There is ... there is something you have to tell me? "Thoughts and beliefs accumulated half years and always confined in the farthest corner of his mind are on the rise with devastating power.
"Simon, do not think ... 'she begins Isa, finally raising his eyes from the magazine but making them wander up to fix them on the ironing board, instead of his daughter.
"There's something you have to tell me?" The tone leaves no room for hesitation or replicas.
Isa remains silent. His face expresses deep sadness and shows the effects of the tormented inner struggle that is going to burst, that torture all my life. With a gesture automatically closes the magazine. "I think so," he says. "I think it is now." Turns his gaze to Simon, standing a few yards away from her with his arms at his sides and his fists clenched.
"Sit down, honey," he says.
***
"I had a whole life to prepare for this moment, 'she begins Isa. "But I do not feel ready yet. I do not know where to begin, there are many things to explain. The fact is that deep down I hoped to be able to avoid, but probably not possible. As a child I hoped also that my parents never died, it seemed impossible that they could get really old as my grandparents and then leave, but ... "
Simona reserves the glare eloquently is digressing and it is only the beginning.
"What I mean is that certain things are inevitable, I learned this long ago. Even this speech: it was written that we should do it sooner or later, but apparently not be put off. "
"After we finished I will explain that because you've put off until tomorrow, I will arise if even half of the questions that I foresee," he says Simona, severe.
Isa swallows, half embarrassed, half-frightened. "When ... When I was young, it was '49, I met a boy. We used to party even then, I think I already told avertelo other times. Nothing noisy and vulgar as those that are now half-orgies in clubs, but still enjoyable holidays with lots of music and many friends. In one of those occasions, one summer evening, after a day spent helping out in the fields with my mother and my grandmother, because we worked there all along, to help my dad ... sorry, you're right ... That evening I was with my friend, who eventually was a girl who lived in a court not far from ours, and we were always when we had free time and ... In short, I see this guy I had never seen, quite a handsome boy, with a smooth skin that looked like marble and teeth that even the actors of the films we have them so white. "
Simon feels a chill. His mind continues to live between two sizes, half in the kitchen listening to the words of his mother and half to ' Omnia , a Saturday night in 1984.
"I was a girl so expansive and after seeing it and thinking it was a beautiful man I have not done a damn thing, but to continue talking with my friend. Eve was called. Yet, here he is, who among other things seemed strange because he had other friends together, as if he came alone ... he is approaching as if nothing had happened and began to speak. 'You're the one who is the court Molino?' I do. I remember it well because it was a strange phrase to begin a speech. It made no sense. He could start with any other excuse, if you think about, because it is not that the court Molino had something special or that I had ever made mention of me in the country ... but those few words were enough to
... "he hesitates, trying to explain the best terms.
"To make you fall for him?" Suggests Simon, expressionless, robotic.
Isa observes. "More or less, yes. I do not know if it was the voice, the smile, the look, the beauty of that boy, that was really special, but ... I do not know, in a second I forgot everything else and I had only planned to continue talking with him all evening. Do not even remember what I said exactly, is the fact that my friend took me around all day, saying I had lost my mind for one who had never seen before. It was a good girl and teased me for a joke, but he was glad that I found a guy that interested me. 'Take that to your dad are arms' he said in jest.
"That boy's name was Francis, and that evening we saw often in the evening and Sunday afternoon. Then it was not like today, no one went out every night. I told my parents that I went to Eve, but I took a small road in the fields and Francis went on a bicycle. We had agreed. We talked a bit ', sometimes if I'm not mistaken, we took walks. I was in love and every day I saw him I liked it more and more, until one afternoon ... "Isa blushes, but speak. "... While I was chatting together in a special place, as he said, was in reality only a small lake not far from where I lived, where the boys often went fishing. But that day seemed special to me. There was no one besides us. It was almost sunset and the sky was a special light, you know when the sun is almost down to the horizon and is bright orange? We sat against a tree, maybe we talked a bit ', but ... In short, I made two or three strokes and ... I do not even know how we ended up making love. "He spits the last word as acid.
"It was not a small thing. In those days there was just like today, it was twelve kids have already done everything and more. Then there were the values, there was a sense of modesty different, there was also respect and fear of parents and their teachings. And I was a good girl and religious. But it was stronger than me, a temptation that I have never felt since. "
"I know what you mean," he assures Simon, who is putting two and two, frightened by the findings that is coming.
"And you want to know the beautiful?" Isa resumes.
"Wait," interrupts Simon. "I understand that you want to tell all, but just take my doubt ... everything you're saying has nothing to do with what we have seen today, except that Francis was not ... "
"That's obvious," precedes Isa. "I've taken for granted. My Francis Fabrizio and your are the same person. "
***
Simon should not try this strong sense of nausea, after her mother told her what had already guessed seeing Daniel go to the next by Cristina. He had a few minutes to try and get over it. However, think of a crazy thing was one thing, sentirsela confirmed by another person was a different story. "And Daniel?"
"He said his name like that? Well, it only changed name, but as you've seen is him. "Isa speaks with a simplicity that is frightening. He has had years to accept the idea, but Simon is convinced that she would not be enough for three lifetimes do the same.
"What we're saying?" Said Simon, with a half smile. "We're dreaming?"
"You insisted you to hear the truth," he notes Isa. "You want it to continue, or not?"
"Sure. I waited long enough, I pretended to have forgotten what happened to me and that you wanted to minimize and I think I deserve some answers. Excuses and responses. "
"I will get this too and I hope you understand me."
Simon nods not, but serious back and waits for Isa resume the story.
"I mean ... enough that time, the slightest weakness and ... "
"You remained pregnant."
"That's right, you know the history."
"You mean you did the same thing to you? Then you took away ... "
"Wait, calmly. Leave me my time, otherwise I lose the thread. I realized I was pregnant and just as has happened to you I was in panic. Were you afraid of the father and embarrassment to me. I ... for me it was a little 'different, if my dad knew I was pregnant with a boy I had known for so little and that he knew, above all, and, worst of all, I had had sex without being married ... I'm not kidding, I would kill her, I would take to paddle strokes. And my mom ... less, as we know. I would send the priest to confess to me and who knows how long it would make me suffer. I did not know what to do.
"Then, one evening, while my dad was already in bed - he was always tired and got up early to milk the cows - my mom gave me a strange speech. I asked him how he was, if I met someone recently if there was some news that I had to tell. He had never spoken that way and I could not explain why, except that he had guessed my problem. But it was impossible, because I had changed my behavior and I did not even say anything to Eva. Anyway, that night he was placed in a manner so gentle, so loving, so friendly, that without realizing it I told her the truth. 'I think I have a mess' I said. 'Please do not tell your dad and tell the priest, but I think expecting a baby'. Think of saying those things to my mom was really ridiculous, for as I was and how I knew her but she managed to put me at ease and ... I do not know, while confession, instead of seeing a scandal in his eyes and saw understanding that gave me the strength to continue. It filled me with wonder, because her reaction was incomprehensible, but at the same time reassured me.
"'Do not worry' I said when I finished. 'Do not tell anyone. But you go immediately to your boyfriend to say '. I understand you less and less, but I was so glad that you were angry that the day after nearly courses appointment with Francis to put him in power. I thought that my mom wanted him to know of the pregnancy to make sure that our families to arrange themselves and organize the wedding as soon as possible, to try to make the fact less scandalous.
"Francis was always of the usual that day. Not much different in appearance and behavior. I had not considered the problem of how he welcomed the news but just gave it to him. He looked at me a moment, after I had finished. And there was radically changed. "
Simona is crying. "You knew," she points. "For some strange reason you had been through everything and you know and made me feel like a crazy when ..."
"Please, leave late, we leave to explain."
Simona patience, in spite of himself.
"In part, I managed to remove the memory, at least the details, but it was an experience like that you've had with Fabrizio. Francis became someone else, something else and ... Yes, he touched me and hurt me and when he had finished he disappeared, leaving me alone, empty, lost in disbelief ... "Isa begins to cry in turn, the tears flowing on the same face that sailed fifty-seven years ago, only that is now covered with deep wrinkles as the pain of remembering.
"It feels awful," says Simona.
"Definitely," confirms Isa. Immediately resumes the narrative not to be overwhelmed and lose the strength to go forward. "I ran home in tears. I tried my mom, without even bothering the fact that my dad or any of my brothers could see me. Luckily they were not back yet. My mum was, she was sitting at the table with his hands crossed and staring into space, as if waiting. Indeed, that's right, because I realized immediately that he was waiting for me. I began to tell her all about casting, but not even let me finish. 'Now it's over' she said. 'Now I can explain, do not worry, my love'. I remember every single word, because I was the only time he turned to me as my love. I sat down and began to listen. Whatever he had to say, I did not think he could assuage my grief, my fear, my despair. My anger, too, because it was obvious that no matter what had happened, she was aware. I was just in the state where you are you now. "
"In the state I was in, that Fabrizio tortured me, maybe."
"Yes, too."
"But your mom made it clear at once that she knew , while you ... "
"Please, let me explain. You will be all clear. "But Isa still does not know how to justify his silence.
Simon waits. "We feel then."
"'This is our inheritance' said my mother. 'Our curse, if you want to call it that. I say our destiny, because it makes me less afraid '. Thus began. "
Isa draws a deep breath and brings the story that his mother did decades ago.
&nbs
p; ***
One day in early October, between the '400 and '500, in a small village not far from Mirandola in Emilia, came a woman who looked about thirty years, from the stately posture and clothing and apparently treated expensive, but with nothing to follow but a massive bag. Arrived and the first thing he did was ask the first passer-by who met, such a Peter, who was a carpenter, had there in the village a place to spend the night.
Peter explained that there was an abandoned and dilapidated old house, certainly not very cozy, but for the purpose, if the need was to stay overnight before leaving. In the village there were no inns, and people were not willing to trust strangers, especially if it was a woman. Matilda, that was the lady thanked him heartily and said that the abandoned house was going perfectly.
Without further hesitation, followed the instructions of Peter and arrived at the eastern edge of the village, just before the forest that surrounded it on three sides, where the house was uninhabited. His short journey from the wearisome burden he was carrying and gave the impression of being very heavy, was followed by discrete looks at all of the villagers especially women, who momentarily disrupted the household chores that were dedicating.
Few hours and talk time in the houses and streets had no other subject if not the arrival of the stranger and elaborate and fanciful speculation about its origin, its destination and the contents of his bag. The voices were mostly negative and denigrating, even some accusations and alarming, the fact remains that it was still completely dropped the sun that Matilda had already been classified as a disreputable person, forgotten by the Lord. An awkward burden to the tranquility of the village.
The next morning, everyone waited with curiosity to see her leave the house abandoned and re-engage with its true destination. Peter had told her of his intentions to his wife Matilda, who had spoken with the neighbor, who in turn had given to others, so that everyone was aware that the stay of a foreigner in the country was absolutely temporary.
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