by Nella Tyler
There were pictures of his first trip to the park, his first birthday, and his first tooth. There were pictures of a chubby, infant Cole sitting in a high chair while Lauren tried to feed him peas, there were pictures of a more mature Cole getting ready for his first day of kindergarten, and there were pictures of his first outings to the zoo, the museum, and the aquarium.
“I have videos of some of these moments, too,” Lauren told me as she looked over my shoulder.
“I’d love to see them,” I said fervently.
I was looking through the second album when I turned to Lauren. “What is it?” she asked me.
“Cole is going to have questions about who I am,” I said.
“I know,” she nodded, but she didn’t seem as concerned as I felt.
“What are you going to tell him?” I asked.
“The truth,” Lauren replied without missing a beat. “Both you and he deserve that. You’re his father, he’s your son, and you deserve to know one another.”
“How will you explain my absence all this time?”
“Again, with the truth,” Lauren replied. “You were off fighting for and protecting your country. If you are going back, Cole will understand that.”
“Go back?” I asked wrinkling my eyebrows.
She hesitated. “You said that the military gave you purpose, Chase,” Lauren explained. “You said it gave you meaning. I just assumed you’d re-enlist if that was the way you felt about service.”
“It is,” I nodded. “But I’ve since realized that there’s a hierarchy of priorities and you are at the top of that list. I’m staying here, Lauren. I’m staying put.”
“You are?” she said as her face lit up. “Truly?”
“Truly,” I nodded.
“But…you love the military,” she said softly.
“In a way, I’m still going to be with the military,” I told her. “I’ve been offered a place at Camp Pendleton. It specializes in arms and gun training, for which I’m uniquely qualified. It means I can still do my part and stay here…with you and Cole.”
I could see the moisture in Lauren’s eyes and it made me emotional, too. “You’re serious?” she said as her voice shook slightly.
“Of course I’m serious,” I said. “I’m not leaving you behind a second time.”
She flung herself onto me and I collapsed onto her bed, hugging her tightly. She started kissing me all over, my eyes, my nose, and my mouth until I got lost into her. I encircled her with my arms and gently flipped her over onto her back so that I was lying over her.
We made out like teenagers, but there was a slow burn lying between us, the promise of everything that was to come. “I can’t believe this is happening,” Lauren sighed into my neck. “I feel as though I’m dreaming.”
“Me, too,” I nodded. “You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of this moment…or different versions of this moment anyway.”
“Your parents must be so glad you’re back for good,” Lauren said as though she had just thought of it.
“They are,” I nodded. “Ecstatic, really. But I think they were more excited about the possibility of a grandchild.”
“I think your mom knew the moment she set eyes on Cole,” Lauren said. “I never admitted the truth to her, but she knew.”
“She did know,” I nodded. “She knew before I did.”
“Didn’t she share those suspicions with you?” Lauren asked curiously.
I smiled. “She did, but I think I was too scared to believe her. What if I believed that Cole was mine only to find out later that he wasn’t? That would have been too much for me.”
Lauren ran her fingers down my chest. “What if Cole had been someone else’s?” she asked.
I stared at the ceiling for a moment. “There was a moment there when I first saw you with him that I truly believed that. I thought you’d had a child with someone else. And honestly, once I had processed that, I realized it didn’t matter.”
“It didn’t matter?” Lauren repeated.
“Yes,” I nodded. “I realized I didn’t care if you’d had a son with someone else because that child was still a part of you. And I loved you enough to love your child the same way. I was prepared to be the world’s best stepfather. I was prepared to adopt the little guy, if that’s what it took.”
“You would really have done that?” she asked incredulously.
“I just wanted you, Lauren,” I sighed. “In any way I got you. If you came with a child, then I was happy to call that child mine regardless of whether I was the biologically father or not.”
“Wow,” Lauren breathed. “That’s really something.”
We were kissing once more when Lauren heard a sound and broke away from me. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Did you hear something?”
“I think Cole’s up,” she whispered to me.
I jerked upright. “How do you know?”
“Instinct,” Lauren replied. “And he sometimes has bad dreams. He usually comes into my room when that happens.”
On the heels of her words there was a gentle rapping on the door. “Mama,” the little voice called out. “Mama, I had a bad dream.”
Lauren got up and turned on the lights. Before she opened the door, she turned to look at me. “Are you ready to meet your son?” she asked simply and without reservations.
I took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Lauren
There was something magical about that night. There was an almost fantastical element about sitting and watching Chase and Cole together. Chase was talking softly to his son, and Cole was listening to him as though he were Santa Claus. The apartment was filled with the muted light of the lampshades and the smell of hot chocolate wafted through the air.
I was busying myself unnecessarily, tending to small chores in the kitchen so that I could give Chase and Cole a little privacy. It had been very strange to stand there and introduce Cole to his father, but somehow, in the course of an hour, Cole’s nervousness and confusion had melted into comfort and he had warmed to Chase almost immediately.
The explanation we had given him was simple. Chase was his father and he had been away working as a soldier in a foreign land. The moment he heard this, Cole had turned to me. “Like G. I. Joe?” he asked.
I smiled. “Very much like that,” I nodded. “Your father is a hero.”
Cole had looked between Chase and I. “Can I tell my friends?” he had asked.
Chase and I had laughed. “You can,” we both nodded together.
Fast-forward to a few hours later, it was almost two o’clock in the morning and Chase was still talking to his son. Cole was lying against Chase’s chest and his little eyes were beginning to droop with sleep. I put away the cocoa mugs and walked over to the both of them.
“I think it’s time to put him to bed,” I said stretching my arms out to take Cole from Chase.
“It’s okay,” Chase as he got to his feet gently taking Coal with him. “I’ll put him to bed.”
Chase carried him slowly back to his bedroom and I pulled back the covers as Chase placed his son gently onto the bed. He straightened up and stared at Cole for a few minutes before we both backed out of the room.
“Why don’t you go back to my room,” I suggested. “I’ll turn off the light in the living room and meet you there.”
He nodded distractedly and disappeared into my bedroom. When I returned to the room, Chase was sitting on the edge of my bed staring at his hands as though he were seeing something else. I locked my room door and moved to sit beside him.
“Are you all right?” I asked taking one of his hands.
Chase breathed deeply. “That was….”
“Surreal?” I offered.
“Exactly,” he nodded, then he turned to me with some concern. “Do you think we did the right thing by telling him like that? We didn’t…scar him or anything?”
“Of course not, Chase,” I said. “He deserved to kn
ow the truth, and you deserved to have him know the truth. I didn’t see the point in telling him in stages, either. You saw him tonight; he was so ready to know you. He’s missed having a father in his life.”
“How do you know?” Chase asked as he looked at me imploringly.
“Because I did,” I admitted in a low voice. “Even though I knew my father wasn’t the best man, I still missed having that paternal presence in my life. It’s a natural craving and Cole doesn’t have to feel that anymore.”
“Do you think he’ll remember all that tomorrow?” Chase asked as though he were scared that Cole would forget him.
“Not likely,” I assured him. “But if that is the case, we’ll just remind him…together.”
He smiled and kissed my hand. “He’s amazing,” he said in hushed tones. “You did an amazing job, Lauren. He’s spectacular.”
“He is, isn’t he?” I nodded. “I’m sorry that I never gave you the chance to know him before now. I realize that—”
“Lauren,” Chase said cutting me off. “Don’t. You don’t have to go there. We’ve both made mistakes and we’ve both apologized for them. I think it’s time we put the last four years behind us and move forward. I’ve forgiven you. Have you forgiven me?”
“Yes,” I nodded.
“Good,” Chase smiled. “Then I think it’s time to focus on our future together.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and nodded. “That sounds perfect.”
There was a beat of silence and then Chase spoke in a voice that was slightly reluctant and hesitantly cautious. “Lauren?”
“Yes?”
“There’s one more confession I need to make, in the interest of full disclosure,” he said and immediately, I tensed. I didn’t want this perfect night to be marred by confessions that might rock our entire foundation. I wasn’t ready to deal with anything more. We had forgiven each other and I thought that had been the end of it.
“Okay,” I said pulling back a little. “Tell me.”
“It’s about your gym,” Chase said unexpectedly.
“What about it?” I asked in confusion.
“It’s about the investor that is giving you the capital for your business,” he continued.
“Yes?”
“I'm the investor.”
I just stared at him. “What?”
“I’m the investor,” he said again. “I contacted Beth a few weeks ago and I convinced her to set up a meeting for me…with Jeremy.”
“You’ve met Jeremy?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes,” I nodded. “He didn’t know who I really was. I used an alias and told him that I was an old high school friend of yours. I told him that I’d recently come into more money than I knew what to do with and I was looking to repay a debt.”
“And he believed that?”
“Well…his reservations were overshadowed by his desire to get your business off the ground,” he replied. “I was fully expecting to hate the man, but after meeting him, it was hard. He seems like a decent guy, and it helped that I knew you hadn’t slept with him.”
I couldn’t suppress my laughter. I shook my head at Chase in amazement. “I don’t know what to say. I’m shocked.”
“Say that you’ll stick to the plan and keep the capital so that you can get your business started,” he said adamantly.
“Chase—”
“Please, Lauren,” he said quickly. “You can’t go back now.”
“You said this happened weeks ago?” I clarified.
“Yes,” Chase nodded.
“Why did you do it?” I asked. “I mean, you didn’t know what was going to happen between us; you didn’t even know if Cole was yours.”
“I didn’t,” Chase agreed. “But that was not the point. I was doing it because I loved you and I wanted to be there for you regardless of whether I got to be in your life or not. I just wanted you and your child to have a bright future and I wasn’t sure you’d accept that kind of help from me, so I had to think of an alternate method.”
“And if I had told you that I didn’t want to be with you?” I asked.
“I would have gone through with it anyway.”
“And if I had told you Cole was not your child?”
“I would have gone through with it anyway,” Chase repeated. “My love for you was never conditional, Lauren. I wasn’t investing in your business in hopes of reconciliation. I was doing it regardless of how things were going to go between us. It was my way of trying to make up for the fact that I wasn’t there for you in your hour of need.”
I shook my head. “Chase, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you’ll let the deal fall through,” he insisted. “Say that you’ll accept my help and my love.”
“I have accepted your love,” I told him.
“Then you shouldn’t have a problem accepting anything else from me,” Chase said adamantly. “We’re a team now, right?”
“Chase—”
“I know you’ve always wanted to do this on your own, Lauren,” he said. “I understand that and I respect it. But the fact is you’re not alone anymore. You have me, and I am not the kind of man who will ever repeat the same mistakes again. I’m in this for the long haul, and I will never do anything again without you standing there next to me. You’re not alone anymore.”
They were beautiful words. They were words that filled me up and repaired all the little wounds that had been accumulating over the last four years. It was amazing how quickly they had disappeared. I believed Chase; I believed that he was telling the truth and he was never again going to break his promises to me. And how could I possibly resist that?
“Okay,” I said at last. “Let’s do this. Let’s do this together.”
Chase’s smile brightened up the whole room, and I melted into his arms as his lips fell over mine. He pushed me back onto the bed and moved on top of me as his hands started to traverse the planes of my body. His fingers grazed my skin with the lightest of touches, leaving me tingling and wanting more. Slowly, he peeled away my dress, unhooked my bra, and slid down my panties until I was lying naked beneath him.
I understood the promise in his slow and sensual movements. This time wasn’t going to be like the first when it had been just about sex and nothing else. He had wanted to talk about love that night, but I had stopped him. My body had craved his, but my mind was still wounded and I hadn’t been ready for gentle caresses and passionate kisses. I had wanted nothing but violent fucking.
This night was so completely different, and we could both feel it. There was the intoxicating smell of lust and desire circling both of us, but it was heightened by our feelings, by our love for one another. Chase pushed himself off the bed and undressed himself while I watched hungrily.
His body was made of smooth, flat planes and ripped muscles that flexed with the slightest movement. His penis stood hard and erect, and I moistened at the sight of it. He lowered himself on top of me again as he grinded against me and I moaned at the feel of his erection against my inner thigh. I reached for his penis and clasped it firmly in my hands as his mouth came down over my left nipple.
He sucked gently, teasing me by running his tongue over my nipples. Then he slid lower down, kissing my breasts and my stomach until he was settled right between my legs.
“I want you inside me,” I moaned wriggling under his hands.
“Not yet,” Chase murmured. “I want to make you cum first.”
His tongue sent ripples of pleasure colliding through my body like heat waves. My back arched of its own accord and I had to remind myself that I would wake up the whole house if I gave into the screams echoing in the back of my head. He made me cum faster than I could possibly have imagined and then he was sliding into me and my world seemed to right itself.
I clung to him as he gazed down at me, his eyes boring into mine as he fucked me slowly, taking his time and allowing the moment to build. Our hands entwined over my head and our breathing mixed together unt
il I couldn’t tell which was which.
At the beginning of this night, I had believed I’d found Chase again. But I’d been wrong. It wasn’t Chase I had found. It was myself.
I could see it all perfectly and it had never been clearer or more comforting. I could see the future in his eyes. I could see my future in his eyes.
One Year Later
Epilogue
Chase
“Ow,” Lauren’s voice was a whisper, but it seemed to amplify in my ears.
“Are you all right?” I gasped kneeling down so that I was at eye level with her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, darling,” Lauren said gently in the same voice she used on Cole. “Just another contraction.”
“They’re coming closer together now,” I rattled off. “All the books say that that means the baby is coming.”
“Mmm,” Lauren responded, closing her eyes as another contraction hit.
I ran my hand up and down her back hoping to soothe her, but my panic was starting to rise with each passing minute. “Don’t worry,” I said frantically. “It’s all going to be okay. Everything’s going to be just fine.”
Lauren smiled at me. “I know that,” she said tiredly. “I’ve done this before, remember?”
“Right,” I nodded returning her smile. “I forget sometimes.”
“Understandable,” she said, taking my hand as she winced noticeably.
“Where are the damn nurses?” I said through gritted teeth. “It’s been like thirty minutes.”
“It’s been three minutes,” Lauren reminded me.
“Really?” I said in genuine surprise. “It feels like longer.”
“That’s because you’re nervous,” she said comfortingly as she squeezed my hand. “They’ll be back the moment they find a private room for us.”
“But you’re in pain,” I said desperately.
“That sort of comes with the territory, hon,” she said with a small smile. “It’s necessary pain. Now stop worrying and stay calm. I’ll need you to be calm in the delivery room.”
