by Nella Tyler
Her little hands moved up and gripped onto my shoulders tightly as I fucked her. I felt like a fourteen year old with his first hard on. It was all I could do to keep from cumming already as she dug her nails into my flesh and worked her hips up and down. She was a natural, like she’d been doing this for years, and it was so fucking good. My movements started becoming frenetic as the orgasm pressed into me harder. She gripped onto me tighter, and I slid one of my hands underneath that sweet ass and held it up off the bed while I banged into her. She lifted her head up so she could find my lips, but instead of a kiss, it was more like chaotic swipes as I pounded into her with all I had. I felt those tight walls get even tighter as she cried out my name and there was no more holding back. I gasped out loud as I came long and hard inside of her. It was the first time I thought about the fact I hadn’t worn a condom. I briefly wondered if she might get pregnant, but I was too far gone, I couldn’t pull out now. When I made sure that every last drop had been milked out of me by that sweet, tight little pussy I dropped down half on the bed and half on top of her and let my hands continue rubbing and kneading her warm flesh. My nerves were still completely raw, and I was having a hard time breathing.
When I finally got my bearings back slightly, I lifted my head up to look at her gorgeous face and she smiled. Liquid heat raced through me again, and I pushed up until I could reach her lips and this time I kissed her slowly, taking my time exploring her sweet mouth and licking those full lips. When I’d gotten my fill of that, I put my head on her shoulder and in a raspy, still breathless voice I said,
“God, Summer, you are the sexiest woman I’ve ever been with.” I felt her little body shake and when I pulled my head back up and looked at her face, she looked amused. “Why is that funny?”
Still running the fingers of the hand under my neck through my hair, she said, “It’s not funny… I’m sorry, I just don’t really believe you.”
It was my turn to be amused. Her honesty was refreshing but slightly overwhelming at the same time. “I already had you – why would I need to lie?”
“I guess you have a point there,” she said. “But you do know that the other night was my first time, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry it was like that…in the ocean.”
“Don’t be sorry. I loved every minute of it. But my point is that I’m sure you’ve been with much more experienced women.”
“Experience and sexy are not the same things, your body just knows how to move and how to please me and you fit me so well…” I felt her snuggle into my chest, so I lay on my back and pulled her into me. It felt so good that I could lie right here all afternoon and not do another thing but this. We lay there for a long time just quietly enjoying the feel of each other before she turned her face towards mine and I resumed kissing her. I was getting excited again just from the feel of her lips and tongue. I slid my mouth down to her neck and sucked on that for a bit before sliding it down and nipping at her sexy collarbone. I couldn’t stop there. I readjusted so that I was back on my knees above her, and I licked around the outside of first one dark nipple and then the other. I flicked and sucked there for a while before licking down her sexy, flat belly. As soon as I got to the top of her mound, she flexed her hips up and whispered my name. She smelled like sex and the ocean, and it was intoxicating.
I reached up to part her lips with one of my hands, and then I pressed my tongue in hard against her clit, moving it back and forth. She was writhing and whispering things I didn’t understand, and I could feel her sexy thighs trembling. My cock was rock hard again and about the time she started whimpering loudly on the edge, I slid back up and using one hand, flipped her over so that she was on her belly. She automatically drew her knees in and brought that gorgeous ass up towards me. I lined up, and as I slid inside of her, I took a plump cheek in each one of my hands. There was not any pretense of going slow this time. I drilled my cock into her, fucking her like an animal. I let go of her ass and reached for those gorgeous tits. I held one in each hand as I fucked her, and it wasn’t long this time before I felt her little body convulse and my cock begin to swell. I pushed forward and then pulled her back so she was almost sitting up straight in my lap as I came again – almost as hard as the first time. Fucking fantastic…
This time when I collapsed down next to her, I was so tired that I was actually afraid if I closed my eyes, I would go to sleep. Maybe I should have, because instead of doing that I said,
“Summer?”
“Yeah?” her voice was breathless, husky, and so damned sexy that my tired cock actually twitched again at the sound of it.
“I have to go to a Gala Friday night. Will you go with me?”
She literally rolled me off of her as she sat up and looked at my face. Usually, I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but the look she had there now said she thought I was pure crazy.
Chapter Eleven
SUMMER
For several minutes, I stared at Drake’s gorgeous face. I almost got lost in those damned crystal blue eyes and forgot what I was doing. I mentally clawed my way back and remembered that I was trying to see something in his face that said he was joking. He asked the homeless girl to a gala. He had to be joking. If he was, it would be one of the meanest things anyone had ever done to me. He’s not mean, that much I’m sure of. If he was mean, he would have called the cops on me after he fucked me the first time. He would have gotten his easy piece of ass and his revenge on the street person. No, I don’t think he’s mean. So if he’s not mean, then he must be crazy. I’m not sure how I missed it if he’s crazy, though. I’m usually pretty good at spotting the crazy ones. I’ve had a lot of experience with that over the past five years.
“Summer?” I avoided his eyes and looked at his nose instead. I wasn’t sure that I was strong enough to keep looking into those eyes and stand my ground.
“What?”
“You’ve been staring at me for a long time. Tell me what’s going on in your head, please.”
You’re gorgeous. Your eyes are like magnets. I’ve lost my mind completely. Out loud I said, “You’re a lunatic.”
He laughed. “Sorry I asked.”
“Well, you are. I live in a cave. I own one shirt, one pair of shorts, and two pairs of underwear. Oh, and a pair of flip-flops. Can I wear flip-flops to a gala? I mean, I’m not even really sure what a gala is, but will my t-shirt and shorts do for attire? Gala…even the word sounds fancy. Oh! Maybe there will be a visit from a fairy godmother. Is that it? I’m Cinderella and you’re Prince Charming. I’ll just have to make sure I leave when the clock strikes midnight-”
“Summer, stop!” he reached for me and I jumped out of the bed. I knew him touching me wasn’t going to help my resolve. I was gathering my clothes as he stood up.
“Just stay back, I’m afraid you’ve lost your mind and I don’t want you to come any closer.”
He was looking at me like I was the one that had lost her mind. In a voice reserved for talking to a crazy person, he said, “Please stop this and listen to me.” I slipped on my underwear and my shorts. I had on my bikini top and was reaching for my t-shirt when he grabbed my wrist. I looked down at his hand and back at his face. He let go and held his palms up. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to just let you run out of here like I smacked you or something. You’re acting crazy. Please, sit down and hear me out.”
I sat down and pulled on my shirt. He sat down next to me. He tried to touch me, but I scooted over. “There’s really nothing you can say beyond, I’m sorry for the bad joke.”
“It wasn’t a joke, Summer. I’d really like you to go with me. I’ll give you money for a dress and shoes-”
“So you’re the fairy godmother, huh? Or am I your charity case now?”
“No, it’s not like that. I want you to go with me. I don’t want to go to this gala. I hate things like this. I have to go and it would be less like torture if you would go with me.”
“Why not just ask someone that can bu
y her own dress?”
“Summer, this isn’t about what you can or can’t buy.” He cautiously reached for my hand. I let him take it. “I like you…a lot. Do you really not know that?”
“I don’t belong here in this fancy apartment, Drake. I got caught up, the sex was good… It went to your head and you forgot who you were fucking.”
“Why are you acting like this? You do belong here because I want you here. You’re as good as or better than anyone else who might be there.” He let go of my hand and tipped my chin up so that I had to look at his face. He was giving me a look with those sexy blue eyes that made me want to believe him. I wanted to believe that he really wanted to go with me in spite of myself. I was much too cynical and suspicious to do that, however. Instead, I imagined myself in a fancy dress in a room full of fancy people with everyone pointing and laughing…including Drake.
“I need to go.”
“Summer…” I stood up and he started to reach for me, but thought better of it. “Please don’t go. If you don’t want to go to the gala, that’s fine-”
“I don’t want to go, but thanks for the offer. I’ll see you for our lesson tomorrow – if you still want to teach me.”
“Of course, I still want to teach you.”
“Thank you.”
“Summer…” Suddenly, I was closer to crying than I had been since I was fourteen years old. I had convinced myself a long time ago it was a sign of weakness and I had no room for it in my life. But it just dawned on me that this was the first time I’d ever gotten asked out on a real date and it was by a beautiful man that I really liked, but I couldn’t accept. Dressing me up for one night is not going to change who I am and dancing with him in fancy clothes will only remind me of what I will never have. Besides, I don’t know how to dance. I had to go before the fucking tears fought their way out and made me look even more pathetic than I already did. I practically ran out the door of his apartment and down the stairs without looking back. I was filled with an anxiety I hadn’t felt in a very long time, and I was also filled with want. I want him. I want to go out on his arm, and just once, I want to know what it feels like to be “normal.” The more time I spend with Drake, the more I begin to want things I can’t ever have. That’s not a good thing. I need to stop.
I hit the bottom landing and pushed through the stairwell door into the lobby. There was a young couple waiting for the elevator and when they saw me, the man wrapped his hand around his woman’s waist and pulled her in close while keeping one eye on me. In their defense, I just had some wild sex…I’m sure my hair is a matted-up mess.
The doorman pulled open the door, but he barely looked at me as I slipped through. Even when I looked up at him, he continued to stare over the top of my head like he was afraid to look at my face. It dawned on me then. This is who I am. I’m half as big as most men and even smaller than their women, but they’re afraid of me. They think that I’m going to rob them or stab them or…who knows? They think that because I’m homeless, it makes me a bad person. They think that I chose this life.
*******
I don’t usually walk alone at night, but tonight I made an exception. I’d gone back to the homestead after I left Drake and tried having a private conversation with Phoebe about what I should do. Bennie overheard and had to put in his two cents. I knew that he’s just jealous, but there’s a part of me that can’t stop the echo of his words in my head:
“He’s not like us, Summer.”
“Why does that have to be a bad thing?”
“When has a housie ever really wanted to know you? In the five years you’ve been on the streets, how many times has one of them even looked you in the eye?”
“A lot of people helped me out when I was on my own. They gave me blankets and money-”
“They give you those things so they don’t have to feel guilty when they go home and lay in their comfortable, warm beds at night. This guy is no different – except he wants to take from you. as well.”
“He’s not taking anything that I’m not giving willingly.” That was meant to sting and from the look on Bennie’s face I could see that it hit its target.
He swallowed hard and said, “What happens when he gets bored with you, Summer? I mean, do you really think that whatever you have with this guy is going to last? Do you really think you can fit in with his friends and his family?”
His words stung as badly as mine had, but I refused to let him see that. “Wow, you just assume I’m so boring he won’t be able to stand me after a few weeks, huh?” Before he could say anything else I said, “Never mind. None of this is really any of your business is it, Bennie? You’re not my father, my husband, or my boss, so I’ll do what I want and if there are consequences, I’ll deal with those, too. How dare you try to tell me who I will or will not fit in with?!”
I’d stormed out then and took off walking. Hours later now, I had walked up and down the beach, watching the tourists. I watched them hold hands and kiss. I watched them play with their kids. I watched them come and go in their nice clothes and designer swimwear. I watched them go into the little shops and come out with big bags and go into the nice restaurants and come out with full bellies. I saw them pass me without making eye contact, and I watched them step over the homeless that littered the streets as if they were invisible – or worse yet, a pile of dog crap that might stain their designer shoes.
I wanted to prove Bennie wrong. I wanted to make eye contact with just one of these people and see something in their eyes that said we were equal. But I walked all day and that never happened. What I saw only proved that he was right, and the hell of it was, I already knew that. As the sun went down, I continued to walk along the beach, thinking back to when I first came to that conclusion. Somewhere in the past two weeks with Drake, I’d almost forgotten five years of hard lessons.
After I left the foster home, I lived in an almost constant state of fear. It was so bad at first that I almost went back a few times. I slept in bus terminals and in back alleys, but I only slept during the day. I never closed my eyes at night. The night was filled with street lights that made shadows that I feared, men who thought I was easy prey, and lots and lots of other monsters. If one of them found me, I wanted to be awake and alert so that I could fight. I got good at fighting. I even carried a knife for a while. I came really close to using it one time on a man who had a penchant for little girls. I was fifteen, but I looked twelve and that fact sickeningly seemed to excite him. The fact that I wanted to stick the knife in his guts and twist it sideways after I kicked him in the balls and took him out of commission scared me enough to throw the knife away.
From then on out, I’d slept out in the open during the day while people stepped over and around me. I’d lie on the cold cement in whatever city I happened to be in at the time and smell the booze and old urine or the expensive perfumes and colognes of the housies as they rushed by.
No matter how long I lived this way, each time that I closed my eyes, I’d pray that when I woke up I’d find out that this was all a horrible nightmare. Grandpa would still be alive, and we’d be on our way to the next tournament. Of course, that was a prayer that could never be answered and each time I opened my eyes, I was still very much alone.
I was always tired – not just tired, but exhausted to my very bones. I was always hungry. Some days, my stomach growled so much it was like it was speaking a language of its own. Some days, the little cup I sat out would be full at the end of the day and others there would be nothing. Occasionally, I wanted to give in to the lure of the alcohol and the drugs I was being offered constantly – just as an escape. But fear kept me from doing it. Fear motivated me to stay sober and clear-headed. The second I gave in to the need to go somewhere else in my mind, I’d be at the mercy of the monsters, and I couldn’t let that happen.
Ironically, meeting Bennie has been the best thing that’s happened to me in five years. He was willing to help me without pressuring me to use drugs or sell my body. He was
a street person with a moral code – a diamond in a pile of coal. My belly was fuller than it had been in years and most importantly, I learned to sleep at night. He made me feel safe and between him and the others, I never had to be alone. It was all I needed for a while, but recently, I’d started to yearn for more again and I have to ask myself, “Am I being greedy? Do I have a right to want more?” The rational side of me wants to answer that yes, I’m being greedy. If it wasn’t for Bennie and the others, I might be dead or worse by now. The side of me that still knew how to dream wanted to beg to differ. Why can’t I want more? Why can’t I rise up out of these fucking ashes and go on to do great things? I didn’t sell my body. I didn’t fry my brain on drugs or get addicted to alcohol. So I lived on the fringes of society for a few years…I could come back from that. Couldn’t I?
Chapter Twelve
DRAKE
I waited in our spot on Black’s Beach for almost an hour before I could convince myself that Summer wasn’t coming. When she left yesterday, I wanted to go after her, but I got the feeling that was the absolute wrong thing to do. Summer wasn’t like the girls I was used to dating – the ones who thrived on the drama and thrill of the break-up and the make-up. When she walked out, it was because she really needed to be alone and me chasing her would only piss her off.
“Hey!” I looked in the direction of the voice. It was my buddy Lance. I’ve been blowing him off for over a week. Lance looks like a linebacker, and strictly judging from experiences I’ve had with him since the age of about twelve, women find him irresistible. I was looking at the scowl on his tan face now and wondering if the white blond hair and dark brown eyes would be enough to compensate for that look if you were a woman. “What the fuck, man? Is this where you’ve been hiding all week? You don’t take my calls; you don’t show up to surf…”
