by Nella Tyler
She was taken aback with surprise at the crispness of his tone once again. She recognized this was probably due to his military background, and so she let it go.
“Mackenzie, are you wanting to remarry?”
She drew in a sudden breath. To even bring up the topic of marriage at this early point seemed very, very premature, however, it did tell her that it was something he was considering. Or was he?
“To tell you the truth, I haven’t thought that far ahead. I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, I’m just not sure whether that involves marriage or not. I do want to have children, however, so marriage would make sense from that standpoint.”
“Children, eh? Well, I suppose you would, at your age and all. How old did you say you were?”
“I’m thirty-two. And you?”
“I’m fifty-four, but I can assure you that I have everything I had and it all works just like it did when I was thirty-two.”
Again, Mackenzie paused, wondering where he was leading with all of this. “Are you nervous?” he asked her. She nodded. “Don’t be, everything will be fine.”
She hung on his words, listening for cues that he approved of her so that she might consider him likewise. She wondered why he referred to the future in his appeasement.
She felt as though she didn’t want to form an attachment for anyone she met until she knew they were interested in her, at least to the point of seeing her once again. In her mind, it made little sense to have dinner and a prolonged conversation if one or both of the individuals had no interest in one another. Then it was punishment, rather than pleasure to dine together.
The conversation seemed to drag a bit then as the two of him looked around the room and pointed out various objects, discussing what they knew of them. One wall held a collection of old musical instruments; this was something of particular interest to Mackenzie as she had played in the band in high school. “It’s strange, but instruments don’t seem to change over time. I suppose it would change their sound if they authored even the slightest thing and that would affect their ability to play the great works.”
“I suppose so,” said Dell, his response blatantly uninterested. “So, do you live in a home, and apartment, condo…?”
“I have a house. Fortunately, the mortgage was paid off at my husband’s death. He provided well for me.”
“Interesting. As I told you before, I own a construction company. I take on projects for very large homes. Sometimes they want just a small remodel, but more often, they want major stuff done, such as a kitchen makeover or a wing added onto one end of the house. It keeps me busy, mostly in the summer but not entirely. Believe it or not, there’s a lot of building going on during the winter months. It’s always indoors, of course, but maybe it’s cabin fever that makes people want to change things.”
Mackenzie nodded, interested in what he had to say. Dell was busily looking around the room and seemed to be particularly interested in how they were running their restaurant from behind the bar. “Have you ever worked in a retail situation, or perhaps in the food industry?” she asked him, noting his interest.
“Nope. I’ve been at sea and holding a hammer ever since.”
Mackenzie felt as if she were floundering. She was looking for some common topic of interest, something that would catch his imagination on fire and perhaps make the dinner more interesting. “Have you dated a great deal with online ladies?”
“Why?”
He seemed to be caught off guard by her question and not all together happy with it.
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I didn’t mean to pry. I was actually just looking for a topic to talk about.”
“So, you say your husband left you pretty well fixed, did he? Well, that’s good. Too often people think they live forever and when one of them goes unexpectedly, the other one’s left holding the bag.”
Mackenzie went for the three-pointer. “Have you been married before?”
“Twice. Both were mistakes. Too bad I did meet you earlier.”
She thought his line was a little rehearsed, but perhaps he thought in an economical sort of way. She wondered why she continued to make excuses for him and realized that she was attracted to him and was hoping that the physical attraction was not all there was to it.
“Maybe it’s not appropriate for me to say, but I think you’re even better looking in person than you were online.” Mackenzie could have cut her tongue off as soon as the words had gone out. She had never said anything so forward in her entire life and she wondered what had come over her.
Dell smiled, nodding. “I hear that all the time. Let me ask you question. Purely hypothetical. If I were to suggest it, after we have dinner, could we go back to your house and maybe watch a movie or something?”
This knocked the breath right out of her. She knew his question was neither hypothetical nor random. He was asking her specifically to have sex with him.
She had to admit to herself she been thinking about this all evening. It had been a very long time since she had been with David. She even wondered whether she still was attractive to men. She knew that some of the gentlemen who came through their office paid her a little special attention, but then maybe that was just their personality.
“Hypothetically speaking, I think a movie would be nice.” She could hardly believe she had just said that. But, now it was out there on the table, and suddenly the entire atmosphere had changed.
Dell reached across the table and motioned her to give him her hand. She obliged and he squeezed it gently, running his index finger slowly against the soft skin of her palm. She felt chills run down her spine and recognized he was an intensely sensual man.
This was a new experience. She was actually feeling decadent, as if she had taken her long-held morals and locked them in a closet for the night. She could bring them out again in the morning, but tonight, she was going to travel the wild side. For some reason, she felt like she needed to do that. Maybe it was to test the limits of her scale of propriety.
“I was hoping you might say that.” Just then, the waiter brought their dinner and Dell dropped her hand and industriously set about eating his meal. He downed another glass of wine in one gulp and held it out to the waiter to be refilled. He truly was a man of economy, in Mackenzie’s opinion. His plate was completely empty before she had taken two bites of her salad.
“Are you going to finish that?” he asked her, motioning toward her plate with his chin.
She thought this is rather odd, since he had invited her to have a more expensive meal and now was clearly asking her to hurry up and finish it. Or did he, perhaps, intend to share it with her?
“Well, I suppose I’ve had enough. Did you have to leave?”
“We have to leave,” he countered, his eyes studying her face with the glint in his own. She read the message clearly and was not surprised when he motioned to the waiter to bring the bill. Using the napkin to wipe her mouth, she excused herself to go to the ladies’ room. When she returned, Dell was already waiting for her in the foyer of the restaurant.
“I’ll follow you,” he said as though it was an order.
“Okay, but I’m beginning to have second thoughts whether this is something I want to do.”
“Don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine. We’re just going to go to your house and watch a movie.” He opened the door and with a hand on the small of her back, gently but firmly pushed her outside and then headed toward his car.
Mackenzie walked to her own like a prisoner headed for her execution. She knew it was within her power to stop everything right at that moment, but for some reason, she wasn’t. She wondered who was in control of her head: Dell or her?
She pulled around to the entrance of the parking lot until he pulled in behind her and then she proceeded toward her house. She was rather glad that it was fully dark because the neighbors had all drawn their drapes and were watching television or had already gone to bed. She unlocked the front door an
d showed him inside, flipping on lamps in the living room as she spoke. “What sort of movies do you like?”
“I don’t care. I’m easy to please,” he said quickly, looking around to eyeball her house. “Have you always lived here?”
Mackenzie realized he was appraising her house, just as he would appraise that of a potential customer. She realized it was a natural instinct for him and didn’t take it personally. “Since I got married, yes.”
Mackenzie found the remote and flipped on the television. She brought up the list of movies available and handed him the remote. “Here, while you choose one, I’ll get us some iced tea and popcorn,” she said as she turned toward the kitchen.
She pulled a heavy pot from the cupboard and set it on the stove. “Do you like lots of butter on your popcorn?” she called to him, reaching into the cupboard for the cooking oil and bag of popcorn. He must have not heard her because he didn’t respond. She had turned on the cooking oil and poured the popping corn inside and didn’t want to leave it long enough to ask him again. She decided to put butter into a small gravy boat and he could add whatever he liked to his own bowl.
She flipped on the iced tea maker and quickly brewed two tall glasses, adding lots of ice and a dash of raspberry syrup to each of the glasses. She rustled around in the cupboard and found the black and white polka-dotted straws she had left from a New Year’s Eve party and put one in each glass. A slice of lemon sat on the edge and she put both glasses on a tray.
She took a quick second to text Lucy to say that she was home, safe and sound. Lucy answered immediately so she knew that Lucy had been waiting for the message. The popcorn was done, and she poured it in a large bowl and added two smaller bowls to the tray, two linen napkins, and she was ready to go.
Mackenzie hefted the tray and rounded the corner into her living room. There she came to an abrupt stop, nearly dropping the tray. “What are you doing?”
There was Dell, completely naked and reclining on her sofa. He held out his arms. “Come here to me, Mackenzie. I want you. I haven’t been able to think of anything else since we first started talking. I know maybe this isn’t what you wanted to do originally, but I can’t get you out of my head. Set aside your schoolgirl morals and let me show you what a real lover can make you feel. I saw how you were looking at me at the restaurant.”
Mackenzie’s mouth dropped open and she set the tray on the coffee table. “Dell, I didn’t see this coming.”
“Bullshit. You knew what I was asking, you’re not a stupid woman. I could see in your eyes that you wanted me as much as I wanted you. Dinner was a farce. We should have come here first and then had dinner afterwards when were exhausted and needing energy. But, here we are. This is your house, you are a magnificent, mature woman who is entirely able to make her own decisions without looking for public approval. What we are about to do need never leave this house.”
“Okay, I admit it. Yes, I was instantly attracted to you. There’s something about you, an air of authority, maybe from your military career, maybe because you own your own business – it really doesn’t matter. I think I’ve become used to making all the decisions for myself and it came as a relief to have you take charge. I’ve never had that before.”
“Then let me make this decision for you. Take off your clothes. Slowly. I want to watch you.” Mackenzie could feel her heart beating…no, it was pounding in her chest. She knew he could probably see it from where he laid. He had raised his head a bit using a small throw pillow. One hand was on his penis, not stroking it, but merely holding it. She took a deep breath and knew there was no going back.
If she was going to do this, then she was going to do it well. She was going to let out that woman who dwelled inside and never was given a portal of exhibition. She nodded and reached up to remove the pins that held her hair above her neck. She shook her head a bit so that her hair fell to its full length over her shoulders. Slowly lifting one leg, she kicked off her heel, then shifted to the other foot and that heel followed.
“Come here to me,” he said in an authoritative, but heavily sensual voice. She felt as if she was under his command and unable to stop herself. She slowly slid toward him until she stood next to the sofa. Dell’s fingers on one hand slid down the calf of her leg and fastened around her ankle in a form of a shackle.
With one swift but steady move, he lifted her leg and pushed up her skirt at the same time so that she now straddled his naked member. She could feel him pressing against her, even through the nylon of her panties and stockings. His hand then dropped away and his organ was fully engorged and pressing into her tender skin. He moved his hand to the waistband of her panties and hosiery and in one lightning snap, ripped them apart at the hosiery seam.
He uttered a noise of animal approval. Her clothing was split in the precise area that he wanted access. He slid his finger up the inside of her thigh and parted her woman’s lips. Mackenzie’s head lay backwards as the remembered sensation of a male upon her returned.
With his other hand, he inserted a second finger and entered her, widening her opening. He reached inward and up, finding the pool of orgasmic fluid that was already lining her tunnel. She uttered a small cry of longing and despite herself, felt her hips begin to move, trying to push his fingers in deeper.
Dell laughed softly and lifted her by the hips to set her down upon his penis. She gasped as his heat went in and filled her completely.
“Jesus!”she exclaimed in a hoarse voice. “You have no idea how good that feels.”
“Oh, I think I do. I’m feeling it right now, too.”
With those words, Dell made an almost gymnastic-like move and Mackenzie felt herself straddling him as he walked down the hallway toward her bedroom. He turned and fell upon the bed, her still mounted upon him. “You can take them off, or I’ll rip them off.”
She didn’t hesitate. She unbuttoned her blouse, skipping the last few to simply pull it over her head. Her bra was next and all that remained was her skirt. “I can’t, not with you in me,” she said. “And I just bought it, please don’t rip it off.
Dell paused long enough to reach behind her and unzip the skirt, lifting it up to her waist and then over her head where it joined the rest of her clothing in the pile on the floor.
Mackenzie was now absolutely naked, her nipples taut and protruding, seeking his mouth. He obliged, knowing she needed them sucked as he pumped her. His body was strong and supple; he moved in and out of her, at the same time moving his hips to delve into a yet undiscovered portion of her tunnel.
Her hands clawed his chest as she held on, much as one would ride a bucking horse. She heard a noise and realized she was screaming from the back of her throat, a cry that was at once muffled and wild.
Mackenzie felt the heat beginning to build and knew she was ready to climax. He seemed to sense this and increased his pressure and speed accordingly. When the dam burst, she cried loudly, shuttering as the sensations pulsed throughout her body. She heard a ragged cry and knew that he, too, had found his relief.
Her face was damp, and her hair clung to her forehead. Dell laid her on the bed next to him and sprang to a standing position. “There, that’s what we both wanted,” he said and disappeared down the hall. Mackenzie waited for his return, but heard only the front door shut and then the motor of his car as he left.
Her consciousness returned and she felt chilled, but not from the cool of the room upon her naked body. She felt the chill that went all the way to her soul. She knew, without a doubt, that she just had surrendered herself to a man who only wanted her body. She had given up all that she had taken pride in. And what was worse, was that she had begun the entire ordeal. She could blame him for none of it.
She reached over and pulled the blankets over the top of her, shivering in self-disgust. She began to cry, great gulping gasps for air. At some point, she ran for the bathroom and climbed into the shower, turning the water on as hot she could get it. She let it scorch her body; her tender flesh turning
red as it burned her. She grabbed the bottle of shampoo and poured completely over herself, working it into a lather to wash away the residue of him and of her own guilt.
She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to kill him. As long as he walked, there was a part of her that was exposed. She felt a cold fear run through her. But that was nothing, compared to what dawned on her next.
There had been nothing between the two of them. There was no condom, no birth control, no protection whatsoever. What if she was pregnant? What if he had given her some kind of a disease? What on earth had she done?
Chapter Seventeen
She awakened on Saturday morning and realized she was wrapped in a flannel nightgown and packed into the covers of her bed in such a way that even an ant couldn’t have gotten through to her. She felt completely demoralized, completely violated. The worst part was that she had brought it on herself. At some point in that evening, the brain that was Mackenzie Harper’s vacated and left behind a harlot.
She rolled out of the bed and put on a robe. Staggering, she moved toward the computer and flipped it on. Just as she expected, there was a message from him. It was one single word. “Again?”
Her fingers flew to delete the message. The only way she could get through this was if she forgot he existed. The fear she realized the night before came back. Although it was a Saturday, she called her doctor’s office just in case someone was in. She got voicemail and hung up, too ashamed to even leave a message. She would call again next week.
The next thing she did was bring up Google. She grew frantic as she searched for reliable information on morning after pills and how to test for STDs. This was not something she’d never had to worry about with David. They have been faithful to one another from the beginning.
She felt dirty, like a whore. She could feel the panic begin to rise within her. She wanted so badly for someone to put their arm around her and to tell her that it was okay, that this sort of thing was normal and happened all the time, but she knew she could never bring herself to confess what she had done.
