by Kaylea Cross
His eyes closed on a hard sigh. Shit, he’d just told her he loved her, hadn’t he?
Calling himself fifty kinds of stupid, he gathered himself, relieved when he opened his eyes the third time and the room wasn’t spinning. Encouraged, he fumbled for the remote control on the bed and inched his upper body higher.
Halfway to a seated position a blinding pain sliced through his skull and he stopped, panting and sweating, refusing to lie back down. He’d survived severe injuries before. He’d get over this one, too.
He’d never been this bad before, though.
Fuck. He hated being laid up like a pansy over a goddamn concussion. Especially when Tehrazzi was out there somewhere, still breathing.
At a knock on the door, he forced his fuzzy eyes open and saw Ben.
“Hey,” Ben said, stopping at the foot of his bed, chewing on his gum. “You gonna make it or what?”
Luke grunted, wished he didn’t have to talk at all. “I’m too mean to die.”
A grudging smile broke over the hard face. “You’ll live to be a hundred then.”
No thanks. So long as he took Tehrazzi with him, he’d gladly go now, become a nameless star on the wall at headquarters back in Langley. “Any news?”
“Nope. So far as anyone can tell he’s still in Iran.”
Yeah, where they couldn’t get to him. Dammit! They’d been so close. “What about the others?”
Ben shoved his hands into his pockets. “Two dead, one other wounded besides you and Dec. They’ve stabilized him. Might send him stateside. Bryn’s on her way there now.”
Luke grunted. “Glad they’re okay.” He noted the antsy way Ben kept shifting his weight, thought he might know the reason. “How’s Rhys?”
“Good. He’s good. It’s uh…it’s Sam I’m worried about.”
Sam? Who the hell was Sam?
He couldn’t remember, drew an absolute blank.
Clammy sweat gathered on his brow as he fought the rising panic. Jesus, he couldn’t remember who Sam was. He broke eye contact with Ben.
Christ, did he have brain damage?
“Yeah, so since you’re laid up here, do you want me and Rhys to look into it? Figured you’d want someone on it ASAP, since she could be involved in all of this.”
She. So Sam was a woman? He still couldn’t picture her. Couldn’t remember anything about her or why Ben thought she might be involved. What the hell else was missing?
“And if she isn’t, then she’s up to her pretty little ass in alligators right now.”
Stay tight. He doesn’t need to know anything’s wrong with you.
Luke met the pale green stare and forced himself to appear calm even though he was losing it. “Get on it right away.”
When he was alone, he fell back against the pillow. Squeezing his eyes shut, he rubbed a shaking hand over his face. Christ. What the hell was happening to him?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Day 20, Lincoln City, Oregon
Bryn watched the waves pound the shore from the top of her back steps. Chin on her up-drawn knees, she stared out across the restless ocean to the purple horizon beyond it. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the damp, salty air, letting the rhythmic crash of the tide carry her away. The cold breeze whipped through her hair in a cleansing rush.
She’d been home for two days now. When Rhys had torn her out of the hospital and handed her over to her CIA security detail, they’d taken her straight to the airport and put her on a plane back to the States. She’d spent three days being debriefed and assessed at CIA headquarters in Langley to see if they could cobble together anything they’d missed using her information about Tehrazzi. After that ordeal, they’d finally allowed her a day to visit her mother and stepfather before flying home to Oregon.
She was exhausted. She’d hardly slept since coming home, barely eaten other than the meals her CIA-appointed bodyguard shoved in front of her. Her body went through the mechanical process of living, but she didn’t feel alive.
She didn’t know much more than when she’d left Iraq, but at least she’d found out Dec was stable and being transferred somewhere. She’d begged them for more, but they wouldn’t tell her where he’d been sent. Luke’s head injury had landed him in the same Basra hospital Dec had been in, where he was undergoing all sorts of tests. Rumor was he wasn’t happy about it.
The twins were with Davis in Baghdad following up on Sam’s disappearance. Fahdi was locked up in prison there. His betrayal still stung. He’d killed Ali, sent those men to grab her, put her though hell in Tehrazzi’s camp. Dec had almost died because of him. Some of his teammates had.
And Tehrazzi…he was out there somewhere, maybe Iran or Afghanistan. That’s why she had round the clock security. The CIA didn’t consider her safe in her own home while he was still at large. In the morning, they were moving her to a “more secure location.” Wherever that was. She didn’t think she’d feel safe anywhere while he was loose.
Her thoughts went back to Dec. She wished he could stay with her instead of her current bodyguard, but he was recuperating and she didn’t have a clue where he was. What did stable mean, anyhow? That he was breathing on his own? That he wasn’t in imminent danger of dying?
Every time she thought of him writhing on that gurney with that agonized expression, she felt sick. She’d been helpless to ease his pain and distress. She didn’t even know if he’d been aware of her standing beside him. He’d suffered because of her. Had almost died trying to get her out.
She blew out a breath to ease the ache in her chest. She’d tried to get word to him, to tell him she loved him and would jump on the first plane out if he wanted to see her. But she hadn’t heard a word in the last week. Had he even received the message? What if he thought she’d up and abandoned him while he was in the hospital?
No. He was smarter than that. He had to know she’d have stayed if she could have. And with the amount of debriefing she’d gone through, his would be even more intensive. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t been able to contact her yet.
If and when he did, they had lots to sort out. For starters, they needed to find out if they had what it took to make a relationship work. Their time together had been spent in a daze of adrenaline and heightened emotion.
What would they be like together back in the real world where they weren’t in life threatening situations every day? On the plus side, they did have common interests. She trusted him implicitly. Felt safe with him. She knew he would look after her, no matter what. He was dependable and solid.
She thought of how considerate and tender he’d been with her, of how protective he was. He’d be an incredible father someday.
But if he recovered to the extent he could remain on active duty, could she handle it? She didn’t want to repeat the mistakes Luke and Emily had made.
How the hell could she go through life knowing that if she lost the man she loved, she’d shrivel up and die? How did people cope with a love that strong? And how could she suffer this kind of worry if he returned to the job? She remembered her sharp words to Spencer about his wife, that she should have stuck by him.
Bryn felt that way more than ever, but now she had experienced what it would be like to never know where Dec was, or if he was all right. She’d had a firsthand taste of what it was like for him in the field. Could she take a lifetime of worry every time he went to work?
If she wanted him, she’d have to. And look what she’d already survived. She was strong enough to handle it, and she wanted a future with him enough to go through all that. Having him was worth the risk of losing him.
Her eyes flew open as her front door opened and shut. Must be her bodyguard, coming to say her ten minutes outside were up.
Pushing to her feet, she opened the old-fashioned screen door. Stepping inside out of the wind, she let it slap closed behind her. She glanced around for him.
“I sent him out for a while.”
She whirled around and froze.
Golde
n eyes stared back at her from the kitchen doorway, a pair of dimples appearing in that lean face as he smiled.
****
Dec’s heart thudded in his chest as her hands flew to her mouth, tears springing into her eyes.
“Dec.”
“Hey, beautiful.”
She raced over and grabbed him, crying. He groaned and held her tight, ignoring the stab of pain in his side. Her tears wet his shirt as she clung to him, burying her face in his chest. Damn it felt incredible to hold her again.
Dec pressed his face against her silky hair and breathed her in. He could hardly believe she was safe in his arms.
God, the guilt still almost smothered him. He never should have left her at Fahdi’s. He’d known it, but left her alone anyway. And then he’d failed to get her out of Tehrazzi’s camp. He’d been so afraid she’d blame him for all she’d suffered that hellish night.
He’d never let her down again.
Bryn raised wet eyes to his. “I can’t believe it.” She ran her gaze over him and laid a hand on his injured right side. “Are you okay?”
She looked amazing. “A little sore, but yeah. It looks worse than it feels.”
“Oh, God, I’m so glad you’re okay. Every time I thought of you almost dying because of me—”
He laid his fingers over her lips. “If I had to, I’d do it all a hundred times over.” He’d do it all again, in a heartbeat. Nothing he wouldn’t do to keep her safe.
Her teary smile turned his heart over. “They wouldn’t tell me anything. I tried to get a message to you but…”
“It’s okay, baby. I would’ve contacted you sooner, but they just cleared me from debriefing this morning. I’m sorry you were so worried.”
She sighed and turned her cheek into his palm. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
He stroked her hair. “I came to get you.”
“Get me?” Her face fell. “But they’re taking me to a safe house tomorrow—”
“Yeah. My place, in Montana.” He wanted time alone with her, so he could reinforce the bond between them. He didn’t know what the future held for them, or if he would return to his team when he was fully recovered. Maybe he’d do private contracting. Maybe even with Luke. He hadn’t made any final decisions yet.
All he knew was, he wanted her. If she couldn’t handle him going back to the Teams and he had to choose between the two, she’d win hands down.
More tears sparkled in her eyes. “Really?”
He kissed her, couldn’t resist any longer. “Yeah. That okay with you?”
“God, yes.” She pressed her lips to his and slid her fingers into his hair.
He caught her face and pulled back. “There’s something else I wanted to tell you.”
She blinked. “What?”
He gazed deep into her eyes. Almost choked up. “I love you too.”
She smiled. “You heard me.”
“Yes.” Her voice had penetrated the fog of pain. That’s why he’d held on. To be with her. “But tell me again.”
“I love you,” she said without hesitation.
His heart swelled, his lungs expanding until they pulled at his sore ribs. He kissed her, slid his tongue past her lips when she opened, his whole body taut with need. Bryn flattened herself against him, taking him deeper as her hands coasted over him, under his shirt.
He peeled it over his head, winced as his healing ribs protested. She gasped at the bruises and scars marring his skin.
“I’m fine,” he said. “Really.”
She touched a fingertip to the puncture wound where they’d put the chest tube in and bent to kiss it gently, then the surgical scar where they’d gone in to remove splinters of his ribs from his lung and chest wall.
He closed his eyes. Her lips caressed every mark as though trying to heal him. He took her face in his hands, lowering his head to kiss her. Hard. She responded with a moan and maneuvered them down the hall without breaking the kiss. She pulled him into the bedroom and they pulled off their clothes.
He settled her against the pillows. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, nudging her thighs apart and covering her with his body. He shuddered at the feel of her, firm, yet unbelievably soft.
Bryn murmured in pleasure and enveloped him with her limbs. The touch of her mouth on his lit him up like a match strike. Her hands buried deep in his hair, fingers tightening on the strands with a delicious pull. “Come inside me.”
“Not yet.” He’d spent the past six days thinking about this moment. Being with her now was a precious gift, one he wasn’t going to waste, no matter how sore he was. Tonight he was going to savor her the way he should have the first time. The way he would have if things had been different for them. This time he was going to go so slowly, to show her how much he loved her.
He covered her face with reverent kisses, down her throat, lingering at the spots that made her gasp.
Smoothing his cheek over the slope of one breast, he enjoyed the incredible texture of her skin. Then he took the sensitive tip into his mouth and sucked until she thrashed. Her fingers wound into his hair as her spine curled, lifting toward him. He made love to her breasts until he had her whimpering.
He felt every shift of her body, noticed every change in her breathing when he found a place that gave her pleasure. The feel of her, all sexy, sleek muscles beneath velvety soft skin, made him rock hard. She moved like liquid beneath him, smooth and flowing in her response. She was relaxed, trusting him. He liked that best of all.
His hands led his mouth to the flat expanse of her belly, drawn to the jewels dangling from her navel. She hissed out a breath when he nuzzled her abs.
“Dec,” she whispered.
He rested his cheek against her, his hands coasting up her thighs, stopping short of where they both wanted them.
A tremor rippled through her. “Hurry.”
He shook his head, battling the need to devour her. As his fingers trailed lightly over the folds between her legs, she let out an incredible moan.
“Dec—”
“Shh. Let me please you. Slowly this time.”
She shuddered in his grasp, fingers digging into his biceps. “I…”
He leaned down and kissed her there, loving her desperate cry, the way she strained upward. Holding her hips, he lapped at her softest flesh.
“Declan.”
God, that low, sexy moan she made in the back of her throat. He could do this all day. She was so soft. So sensitive. So desperate for him.
She lifted her head to gaze down at him, eyes glazed. “Please,” she begged, trembling.
Yes. Anything she wanted from him. He sucked her clit with exquisite gentleness, shuddering at her strangled groan. More. He needed more. Dec couldn’t get enough of her. He wanted this to last so they’d both remember it forever.
Her hips jacked up off the bed, her hands gripping his head as she cried out hoarsely. “Now, quick…”
He took the condom from her, smoothed it on and drove into her. She cried out. He gasped at the feel of her body enveloping him. God, he needed her. “I love you.”
Braced on one arm, he slid his free hand down to caress between her thighs as he pumped his hips. Steady, sure. He watched her face. She made a mewling sound and torqued her head back, her lips parting in ecstasy as she came.
She was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen.
Dec pressed his face against her hair and let himself go, savoring how tightly she held him. The orgasm pulsed through him, endless and powerful. Finally he dropped his head onto the pillow beside hers, tried to get his breath back.
His ribs were killing him, but he didn’t care. He lay in her arms, enjoying the feel of her hands caressing his back. He’d never been so happy in his life. Never felt so at peace. When he raised his head, her eyes were brimming with amusement.
He couldn’t help but smile. “What?”
“Just because I let you seduce me right now doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten your promise.”r />
“What promise?”
She tapped his chest with her forefinger. “You owe me a date, buddy. A steak, I believe it was. And a movie and a walk on the beach. I don’t care which order we do them in.”
He grinned. “Then what?”
“Then I’m going to wait on you hand and foot. I’ll fluff your pillows, spoon feed you, massage all your sore spots…and maybe some that aren’t.”
He grimaced as his chest vibrated. “Don’t make me laugh,” he gasped, his ribs searing, already hurting from making love to her.
“Okay, no laughing. But smiling’s okay, right? I bet I could put a great big smile on your face…if I danced for you.”
Christ. That might kill him. “Bryn,” he warned, trying not to laugh. “Stop.”
She kissed him. “Just trying to give you some incentive to finish healing.”
He curved his hand around the back of her neck and gazed straight into her eyes. “Only incentive I need is you.”
Her eyes misted over. “You’ve already got me. For as long as you want.”
“Yeah? I won’t let you go, then.”
She laughed, leaned up to kiss him. “Dec, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”
—The End—
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