by Tee Smith
“Bai,” he called out from the back door, he didn’t feel right about walking in unannounced.
“Through here, Clancy,” came the response and he followed the voice to a bedroom.
Upon realising she was helping her mother into her bed, he quickly took a step back, not wanting to intrude.
“It’s okay, you can come in,” she called to him. “Mama is exhausted after all of that,” she advised. “I’m just going to get her organised and off to bed for an early night.”
“Th…th… tha…” Carol tried, then sighed heavily with frustration.
“It’s okay, Mama. I’m sure Clancy knows.” She spoke to her mother before turning back to him. “Her dysphasia gets worse when she’s tired,” she explained. “Sometimes in the morning, she can almost have a full conversation. Can’t you, Mama?”
Carol nodded and turned her weary eyes to him.
“It’s okay. You’re very welcome, Carol,” he said taking a further step into her room.
Carol shook her head from side-to-side against her pillow. “No,” she groaned frustratedly. “Th… th… thank you,” she finally managed out. A small tear slipped down her cheek, this time he knew it was a tear of happiness, he had more than redeemed himself. “He’s k… k…keeper,” Carol muttered, turning back to her daughter.
A pang of guilt hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest. He wasn’t free to be kept. He knew that, and he knew Bailey knew it too. For the first time in all his life, he actually felt bad about that. He’d been happy with the love em’ and leave em’ lifestyle, but he was here for three weeks, that was all. He’d made no secret about that.
“Well, we better get going then, huh?” Bailey flustered, recovering far quicker than him.
“It was lovely to meet you, Carol.” He smiled and tipped his hat in her direction before turning and heading back out of the house.
6
Clancy laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. As Bailey turned in his arms, he tugged her closer. He loved the feel of her soft skin pressed against his.
“Thank you for what you did for Mama today,” she said softly, placing a small kiss on his bare chest.
Guilt slammed into him again for the second time today. He had invited Bailey back to his room, and she had willingly gone with him. Yet, for some reason, it suddenly didn’t feel like the accomplishment he had expected.
“I hope you don’t think I was just doing that to…”
“No,” she interrupted him forcefully mid-sentence. “Do you really think I’m that easy?”
“Well, no… but,” he didn’t finish his sentence. How could he answer her honestly, when she had so willingly gone back to his room with him?
“Clancy,” Bailey said eventually, after a pause that seemed to stretch on forever.
“Mmm?” he murmured in question.
Propping herself up on her elbow beside him, she looked down at his face. A million emotions seemed to pass behind her eyes as he waited expectantly to hear what she had to say.
“It’s just, y’know. It gets lonely.” She spoke slowly as if she were carefully considering each word as it passed her beautiful plump lips. “I don’t want you to think badly of me. I don’t normally…” again, the silence hung heavily between them.
He knew what she meant. She was trying to tell him she didn’t jump into bed with every cowboy that came her way.
“I know,” he nodded.
There was no way he could really know, but somehow he did. He believed her. Maybe it was that he recognised that in her, as he sure as hell understood what loneliness felt like. There was nothing pretentious about Bailey. It was easy to see that she was a genuinely open and honest person. Someone who, if circumstances were different, he could see himself falling in love with.
“I know you can’t stay,” she went on, “but do you think perhaps for the time you’re here, we can pretend you’re not going to leave?”
He reached out and traced a finger down the side of her face, making her smile. Then without warning, she rolled away, leaving nothing but a chill in her wake.
“Hey,” he called after her as she moved to sit on the side of the bed.
He watched on as she dropped her face into her hands. Worried she might be crying, he moved in behind her. This was a strange and new territory for him, he wasn’t really sure how to deal with this. Reaching an arm around her shoulder, he pulled her closer to his chest. “Hey,” he said again, this time in a whisper, close to her ear.
“I’m sorry, you must think I’m an idiot. Maybe I should go. Sorry,” she flustered, her cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.
Brushing him away, she rose to her feet and snagged her shirt from the floor where he had tossed it only hours earlier.
“Bailey,” he called, as he watched her hastily dress. “Bailey, don’t go. Stay… please.”
“But…” she tried.
“But nothing. I get it okay? I do.” He made his way to her and looped his hands behind her back. Tucking a finger under her chin, he raised her face to his, meeting her eyes. “Let’s just have some fun, yeah?”
“I’m such an idiot,” she gushed, “I feel so stupid. We were having a nice time together and then I have to go and open my big mouth and ruin it all.”
“You have not ruined anything and are anything but an idiot,” he reassured her. “I like you, you like me, we are both lonely. We can have some fun. It’s not fair for me to promise you anything. You know I can’t stay.”
“I don’t need your empty promises, Clancy. I just…” she dropped her gaze to her hands where they twisted at her side and raised them to capture his.
“It’s okay,” he reiterated before laying his lips softly on hers. Whatever it was she wanted, he wanted it too. He would be gone in a few short weeks. He wouldn’t mind pretending for a while either.
7
When Clancy woke in the morning to find Bailey gone, he felt a tightening in his chest. He hadn’t meant to use her, but that was exactly what he had done, and they both knew it. Rolling over on the crinkled sheets his hand fell on a piece of paper. A note. Seizing the thin piece of paper between his fingers, he read the words aloud.
Thank you for last night.
Sorry I couldn’t stay. I was worried about Mama and had to get back.
Maybe I’ll see you later in the day.
B
A smile crept across his lips, glad he would see her again later in the day as he had hoped. It was silly and far too early to tell, but he was really feeling a connection with this girl. Something about her easy, yet kind caring nature drew him to her. He felt bad for the situation with her mother. He knew what it was like to feel stuck, he longed to break away from the family business.
It wasn’t that station life was bad, but it was far from the life he’d have chosen for himself. When he was younger, he dreamed of moving to the city. As the station workers filtered through, year after year, they regaled him with stories of such amazing adventures. He wanted to travel, to see the world. His rodeo work allowed him a taste of the world he wanted desperately to see, but he knew he could not ride forever. True cowboys never got to grow old gracefully. He saw too many of the good ol’ boys hobbling around, their spines virtually in tatters from many years of abuse. He knew realistically, sooner or later, he would have to make real solid plans for the future. How did that look? His dad would like to see him running Dusty Downs. He knew It wouldn’t kill him, but it might destroy his soul. Some people thrived on solitude, for Clancy it only served to make him feel more alone.
After washing up and fetching his breakfast, he busied himself with his chores. There were very chores for him to do, when he was so far from home, but his clothes still needed to be washed. A trip to the laundromat at least filled in some time.
By late afternoon, boredom was beginning to take full force. There were only so many times you could read the same newspaper, and he was beginning to wonder why he had come to Peace so early before the rodeo. He had expe
cted Cody to be in town. Then again, he should have known he couldn’t rely on Cody. This wasn’t the first time his friend had let him down.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, he figured he may as well head downtown, knowing he should buy a new sim for his phone. He wasn’t sure if that was even a possibility in a small town like Peace, but he’d try his luck. His mother would be going out of her mind by now.
The streets were a hive of activity. Having never lived in town, it always amazed him to witness the community spirit involved in town events. Several men called out to each other on opposite sides of the street, as they secured signage, displaying the impending Founder’s Day events.
“Are you going my way, Cowboy?” Came a familiar voice as he heard a car pull to a stop beside him.
Hearing her voice gave him pause to smile. Seeing her, hair pulled back, looking a picture of professionalism, gave him reason to look again.
“Wow, you look…”
“Boring? Dowdy? Nerdy?” she asked, twisting her lips to one side.
“No, I was going to say you look amazing.” It surprised him to find he was just as attracted to her dressed in business clothes as he was when she wore her shorts and cowboy boots.
“I’ve been at work all day,” she explained. “Are you busy?”
Clancy turned his view back to the street. Was he busy? He had nowhere to go. He had nothing really to do, nothing he wanted to do.
“Nope,” he shook his head.
“I’ve got to head home and see Mama, but then I’m free for the rest of the night. If you want to hang-out?”
He didn’t need to be asked twice. Within seconds, he was seated in her passenger seat, heading back to see Carol again.
8
He had spent the night with Bailey, saying goodbye early in the morning as she needed to get home and tend to her mother before starting work. She would be working at the diner, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t stop in for coffee and watch her a while as she worked. He wondered if that would make him look desperate.
“Good morning, Clancy,” called Tammy as he entered the diner. He found his way to the same table he had occupied previously. “I’ll let Bailey know you’re here.”
Within minutes she appeared at his side, notepad in hand, looking as gorgeous as ever in her little uniform, and he had a sudden irrational feeling of wanting her to cover up so the other customers couldn’t see what she had to offer.
The woman was definitely a surprise package. He had been amazed to learn that she had studied law. Even though she hadn’t completed her degree, she volunteered once a week at a women’s center in Billings, helping them with legal forms and attending court. That was where she had been the day before. Supporting a domestic violence victim who was seeking a restraining order against her husband, after he had violently beaten her and threatened to take away their son.
In just a short time he had learned so much about this amazing beauty, and yet he was hankering to know more. She was so incredibly giving and generous, he wished he could do something for her. She deserved to have someone look after her.
As he turned back toward the window, something caught his eye, and he knew exactly what he could do for Bailey. Sure, it was only a small thing, but he knew as well as anyone that it was the small things that made all the difference in the world.
After ordering a cup of coffee and making small talk, he made his way across the street. A chime above the door rang out as he entered the store. It reminded him of the small-town hardware back home before they were taken over by the much larger conglomerates.
“Can I help you there, son?” Came a voice from somewhere further in the store. A bearded man made his way toward him.
Shifting from foot to foot, he knew he had to think quickly. He really should have put more thought into his plan, at least measured the job.
“Are you okay? You look worried. Are you sure you are in the right place, fella?” The older man asked, eyeing him suspiciously as he appeared to reach below the counter.
“Ah, yeah. I just had a hair-brain idea, and now I’m trying to think what I need for it,” he explained.
The man appeared to visibly relax, and Clancy wondered what on earth could have him on edge. “Well, I should be able to help you out with that. What are you thinking of?”
“I want to build a ramp,” he announced proudly.
“A ramp?” the man asked for confirmation.
“Yes, for Carol Hopper. Do you know her?”
“Sad story that,” the man, whose name tag read Jim, nodded a sad smile tugging at his lips.
“Well, then I imagine you know her daughter too?” he asked with a raised brow.
“Yes, of course. She doesn’t come in here all that often, but you know how it is. Small town and all.”
Clancy nodded, he knew what Jim meant, everyone knew everyone else’s business, whether they knew the person or not.
“So a ramp you say?”
“Yes, Bailey has a lot of trouble helping Carol down the back steps. She’s basically house-bound, the poor woman. I think it would be great if I could build her a ramp so she can at least get out to see her horse.”
“That old nag still alive?” Jim asked with an amused smile.
Clancy nodded. He had no idea how old Tex was. Bailey had said her mom had had him a long time.
“Well, we can’t be keeping a woman from her pal, now can we?” Jim muttered as he walked back further into the store.
Clancy followed hot on his heels.
“What are your measurements, boy?” Jim tossed over his shoulder as he toyed with a length of timber.
“I, ah…” Clancy stammered; he really should have thought this idea through.
“You do have measurements, don’t you?” Jim asked, a crease furrowing his brow.
“Yeah, I need four posts, a dozen lengths of treated timber,” he watched on as Jim busied himself getting the order ready when the thought struck him. “You guys do home delivery, don’t you? I mean, I’m sure I saw a vehicle getting around town with your name on it.”
Jim turned to him and eyed him up and down. “What are you even doing here, son?”
“I’m here for the bull-riding. Founder’s Day, I believe you call it around here.”
Nodding his head slowly, Jim replied. “I’ve seen your type around these parts. Breeze in and out of Peace. Think you can have some fun with the locals and then you’re gone.”
“I ah…” Clancy’s tongue suddenly felt heavy in his mouth. What could he say? He wasn’t staying. Jim was right. He was one of those types. “I want to be able to help Bailey, and her mom whilst I’m here.”
“Well, don’t you go breakin’ that girls heart, you hear me?” Jim stated with a tone so serious, Clancy thought for a moment he was back in high school, fronting up to the principal for smoking with his friends behind the garden shed.
“Yes, Sir…I mean, no Sir. I mean I promise not to break her heart. Things aren’t serious between us. It’s a bit of fun… y’know. She agrees.”
“Does she?” he asked firmly.
Again, shifting from foot to foot, he knew he needed to get out of there. The walls were closing in on him. Who even was this guy?
“Could I also get three lengths of marine ply and a bag of rapid set concrete?” he asked nervously.
Jim’s eyes bore into him for what seemed like minutes before he nodded his head and turned back to the shelf. The air rapidly clearing again.
“I’ll have my delivery boy drop these around to Carol’s after he returns from his lunch break, then.”
“You’re a legend. Thanks, cob,” Clancy nodded and flashed the man a grin, laughing silently to himself at the man’s bewildered look.
He would head over to Carol’s house right away and get started on digging the post-holes. Surely they would have a shovel? Turning back to look at the older gentleman again, his brows pulled together.
“What’s up boy?”
“Ah…” he was
n’t sure if he was game to ask for anything else. “I’m just not sure what tools the ladies might have.”
“Tools?” Jim echoed as if Clancy had said something foreign.
“Yeah, y’know, hammers, drills.”
“I tell you what, son. How about I loan you my toolkit for the afternoon? You gotta promise to return it all. Not one drill bit missin’, do you hear me?”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” Clancy added with an eager nod of his head. Maybe this Jim guy wasn’t such a bad bloke after all.
“It’s a good thing you’re doing, son. Just remember what I said. Don’t go hurting that girl. Okay?”
“I won’t, Sir. You have my word.” With that, he tipped his hat to older gent and made his way back out onto the street.
9
It was late afternoon when he heard Bailey’s sweet voice calling out to her Mama.
“He…he…here,” Carol stammered back. She had been keeping a close eye on him all afternoon. He couldn’t quite make out if she was suspicious of him or just making sure he was doing the job right. Either way, he didn’t mind. He was there doing the job for her.
“What the heck? What’s all this about?” Bailey’s voice pitched from the top of the stairs. “What are you doing, Clancy?”
“What does it look like?” he beamed, plucking a nail from between his teeth and lining it up with the railing.
“But… why on earth?” Bailey asked, a confused expression marring her pretty face.
“Why? Because your Mama here is struggling to get down the stairs. This way, she can walk down the ramp with her walker. Safe as houses, hey Carol?” He shot the older of the two women a colluding wink.
“Mama? Did you ask Clancy to do this? You can’t be asking my friends for help, Mama, it’s not right,” Bailey scolded, her face tinged with pink. Reaching into her small shoulder bag, she plucked out a pink coin purse. “I’m so sorry, Clancy. I’ll fix you up for it. How much?”
