by Sam Ryder
Beat: “So you didn’t have sex with any goddesses?”
Sam: “Umm…”
Beat: “Gods, Ryder! You get more play than a game of Super Mario Kart at a nerd party!”
Sam: “The Three are distracting.”
Beat: “Spill. I want to know everything.”
Sam: “Everything?”
Beat: “Everything.”
So I told her everything, including the naughty details of my romp with Persepheus and Minertha—because she insisted, mostly to see me blush, I think.
Then, back at camp around a nice fire with the aroma of roasting leafrat filling our nostrils, I told the others the same story, minus the X-rated parts.
“Trollshit,” Lace said when I’d finished. I’d just told them what Airiel had said to me just before I left, the thing about the Syrene and their magic ward-restoring elixir.
“You’ve heard of them before,” I said, seeing the recognition in the curl of her nose.
“You could say that,” Lace said. She was resting with her head on Jak’s chest while he scratched her behind the ears. “Apparently in the old days some Seekers journeyed to the Syrene to try to find this magical ward-repairing elixir. But no one ever returned.”
“Wait, you knew about it and didn’t say anything?”
Her eyes narrowed into a soul-devouring scowl. “Don’t you judge me, Protector.” I was surprised she used the honorific at all, though it didn’t sound like she was doing it out of respect for my position. “I hadn’t really thought about it. It’s not like we have any Seekers anyway. Plus, the whole no-one-ever-returned part? Doesn’t exactly sound like the type of risk we should take right now.”
I wasn’t thinking ‘we’. Beat, being Beat, immediately called me on it. “Don’t even think about it, Ryder. You’re not going on some hare-brained mission while we cover for your ass during the next few Blacks.”
“Hear me out,” I said. Hunch handed me the first leafrat skewer, which was traditionally doled out in order of experience with the Protector being the exception—always getting the first meal. Thus far, I’d taken full advantage of the benefit—fighting made one hungry—but this time I passed it to Lace. A peace offering of sorts. She glared at me, but then accepted it, licking her chops. “We are out of options,” I continued. “That dragon will return. The monsters will continue to grow stronger, especially if they continue working together the way some of them have. Even if we grow our army twenty-fold, we can’t survive with our front door standing wide open. Not forever. Something’s got to give, and if bringing back this elixir will make a difference, it’s a risk worth taking. But I agree with Lace, we can’t all go. This could take several Blacks, so most of us need to stay back to guard the ward shields.”
To my utter shock, Belle, who’d been quiet the entire conversation, said, “I’ll go.”
“Like hell you will,” Lace immediately retorted, speaking around a mouthful of fragrant leaves and meat.
My initial thought had been similar to Lace’s, but then I really considered it. She wasn’t doing any good here, and she did need experience in the Black or she’d never survive on this planet.
Beat was watching me like a hawk. “You’re not seriously considering this, are you? If anyway should go with you, it should be me.”
“I need you here,” I said, trying to convey just how much I meant it. Beat was the only one I fully trusted to take care of business while I was gone. Lace was too volatile and Millania too quiet. The other three had only been here a short time. Eve would be back with new recruits soon, so I needed all three of my most experienced Warriors around to train and protect them.
“Godsdammit, Sam Ryder,” Beat said, but I could tell she’d gone through the same thought process as me. I was also glad she didn’t point out that I was breaking another rule of Stalker 101 by bringing Belle along with me.
Then again, maybe it would be an opportunity to convince her I wasn’t the right guy for her, especially because of my recent series of flings.
Or it could blow up in my face.
Definitely one or the other.
“It’s decided then,” I said. “After a meal and a rest, Belle and I will leave immediately. The sooner we get the elixir, the better chance we’ll have against that dragon. Now Lace, tell us everything you know about the Syrene.”
~~~
As it turned out, the Syrene were Sirens. Go figure. You know, the mythological sea creatures who like to lull sailors into a trance with their beauty and songs before slitting their throats and drinking their blood?
Yep, those ones.
Awesome.
The bloodthirsty vixens were supposedly somewhere in the opposite direction to the mountains. All of Tor’s oceans had dried up, but apparently there was at least one body of water remaining—a giant lake—which was where the Syrene had made their home. According to what Lace had heard, they weren’t friendly with the Morgoss. So that was a plus. The minus was that they weren’t exactly friendly with the Three or anyone associated with them either.
I glanced toward Belle occasionally, watching as her initial excitement at the prospect of going on a trip with me morphed into the realization that this wasn’t going to be like a honeymoon. Still, to her credit, she didn’t bail.
Maybe it was a bad idea to bring her with me, but I knew Beat wouldn’t let me go alone—even if going with Belle was almost the same thing—and I didn’t want to drag anyone else away from camp.
When everyone had gone to bed and Belle remained sitting by the fire, staring into the embers, I approached her. “Hey,” I said.
Her eyes flickered up to meet mine, and I could tell she’d been lost in some memory. “Hello, Protector,” she said. She tried to offer one of her dazzling smiles but it wilted like a dying flower.
“Please, call me Sam. Look, Belle, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. If you’re not ready to face the Black, you shouldn’t.”
“The thing is, I am ready. I’ve been ready for a while, but no one has asked me to come.”
That surprised the crap out of me. “Really?”
She nodded. “Almost dying does that to a person. I know you all think I’m weak and scared of my own shadow.”
“No one thinks that,” I said, which was a lie. I’d been thinking almost exactly that.
“Thank you,” she said. “But I’m not fragile anymore. Maybe I was at first, but even that was a lie. You don’t know what I’ve been through, but you can probably guess. I’ve been that scared woman for so long, and I’m exhausted. This planet, as scary as it is, finally feels like a chance to start over, to be a different version of myself. A better version.”
Wow. If she’d told me she was the tooth fairy I wouldn’t have been any less surprised. Maybe Eve hadn’t been wrong when she chose this woman. She sounded almost like the Outcast Warrior that she was. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”
“I can hear the doubt in your voice, but that’s okay. I’ll prove myself to you.”
“I hope so,” I said. “Now get some rest.”
I got up and headed for one of the huts, the one already occupied by Beat, hoping that would dissuade Belle from trying to follow me. Also to my surprise, she didn’t offer me anything.
Maybe she really was trying to change.
~~~
Belle was waiting when I emerged from the hut. Before I’d left, Beat had rolled over and muttered, “Don’t get yourself killed, dumbass,” and then rolled back over.
As Protector, I’d wanted to offer her some words of wisdom regarding duty and honor and protecting the Three before I left, but I knew she would recognize it for what it was: a steaming pile of bullshit. So I said only, “Love you, too,” which earned me a chuckle.
Belle stood facing away with her hands on her hips, watching the bronze sun make its way across the sky. Fit and trim with a sword—a katana—dangling from a loop on a belt she’d knotted around her waist, the southern beauty looked p
retty badass.
“Nice weapon,” I said, picking up my hammer where it lay. “You know how to use that thing?"
She turned and said, “I’ve been practicing.”
It was news to me. Whenever we returned from battle, bloody and weary, she was lounging around the fire. And during the day, she slept most of the time like the rest of us. Or did she? “You have?”
“Millania has been helping me. Did you know Oceania is only ninety percent water?”
I didn’t know much about Oceania at all, but given the name I figured it was all water. Just another thing I should’ve asked about. I shook my head.
“Millania’s people spend equal time underwater and on land. The land area is so small, however, that battles with the other locals—these nasty clawed creatures called Shellbacks—occur frequently. All Oceanians must train in combat.”
That explained a lot. The two Oceanians I’d met thus far—Merlin (deceased) and Millania (alive)—were awesome Warriors. In truth, it felt kind of pathetic that I didn’t know more about Millania by now. Or Lace. Or anyone other than Beat. Yes, Beat and I were both human and tended to gravitate toward each other, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t make an effort to get to know the rest of my Warriors. I vowed to do a better job when, if, we returned from this mission.
“Are you ready?” I asked, thinking she might be delaying our departure. I immediately felt bad that I’d thought that, especially because she responded without hesitation.
“I’ve been waiting an hour for you.” She offered a sly smile. “Unless you’re not ready.” This new, eager version of Belle would take some getting used to.
“Let’s go,” I said, grabbing the pack that Hunch had prepared for us without being asked. I glanced inside. It contained some roasted leafrat skewers, torches coated with demonblood, water skins, and even a small jar filled with primordial ooze. It was a Tor survival pack if I ever saw one.
A few minutes later we reached the gap in the ward shield. I walked right through it, though I could’ve just as easily passed through the ward field itself. I looked back to find Belle standing just on the other side, her lips pursed. I waited. This wasn’t a time to give advice or encouragement. There were some things a person had to do all on their own.
She took a deep breath, and then rather than walking through the gap, sidestepped, vanishing from sight behind the wards. A moment later her slender fingers and wrists emerged as she felt her way through the amorphous magical substance. The rest of her followed, her eyes full of wonder. A smile flitted across her full lips, and then she laughed.
I understood why, having experienced the suck-pop! sensation many times. It was strangely pleasing. “Cool, right?” I said.
“I should’ve done that sooner,” she said.
I disagreed. “Before you and the others from your recruiting class, we used to force newbs to fight monsters immediately, the moment they awoke in their new bodies.” As soon as I said it, I wondered whether it was something I should have admitted.
“Really? I would’ve died.”
“Probably,” I said, hoping the truth wouldn’t get me into trouble. “Most did. Some were great Warriors, but they died anyway. It was a harsh thing to do, but supposedly it increased the chances of survival in the Black for those who managed to make it through that first day.”
“What do you think?”
“I think everyone is different. I think everyone deserves a chance.”
“That’s why you saved my life?”
I nodded.
She went silent after that and I hoped it wasn’t because I’d offended her in some way. We walked on, skirting the edge of the ward shield until we were facing directly away from the dark mountains to our backs.
The day was hot, and soon we were sweating. We stopped for a rest when the sun was halfway from its apex to the horizon. To the right I could see the boulder field in which I’d hidden with Vrill during my first Black on this planet. Past the boulders was the forest I’d only discovered after Vrill had grabbed me in the middle of a Black, thinking she was rescuing me. Weird how so much of my knowledge of Tor’s geography was based on experiences I’d had with the Lri Ay Warrior.
Images of her face flashed in my mind. It was the stoic, statuesque face of the woman I knew. Atop the dragon’s back, she was like anger incarnate, a visual representation of the Morgoss’s desire to destroy us and the Three. Once more, the urge to abandon all my other plans and go after Vrill arose like a tempest.
If Beat was right about the collars, saving her would require removing them to break whatever invisible magical chains the Morgoss were using to control her.
“Want some?” Belle said. Her hand hovered in midair between us, holding one of the leaf-packed chunks of leafrat.
I took a deep breath and pushed away all thoughts of a heroic rescue. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I knew I should eat, so I accepted the meat. “Thanks.”
We ate in silence for a few minutes, and despite the fact that we weren’t in any room and there were certainly no elephants around, I could feel the imaginary elephant in our metaphorical room. As Protector, it was part of my job to clear the air, and I’d been delaying this conversation for too long.
“Look, Belle, I’m really sorry.”
“I’m a big girl. I make my own decisions.”
Gods, that accent… “I know, but I’m also supposed to be the Protector, and more experienced on this planet. I shouldn’t have…we shouldn’t have…” As I struggled to find my words I could hear Beat’s voice in my head: Keep it in your pants, Ryder!
“Why not? If we’re all going to die soon anyway, why not feel something? Didn’t you enjoy it?”
“Um, I did. Very much. You are beautiful.”
“Then what’s the problem? We are two consenting adults. It’s not like you took advantage of me or something. Believe me, I know what that feels like.”
“Exactly.” She cut right to the core of why I felt awful. “You’ve been…hurt…before. I don’t want you to ever feel that way again. Last time, you said you, uh, loved me.”
She laughed at that. What was I missing? “Oh that.” She waved it away with a hand. “I always say that after sex. I get all emotional. Can’t help it. I’ve said those same three words to men I despised—but I don’t despise you. I don’t love you either. Don’t get me wrong, you’re a fantastic lay and I’d do you again in a second…”
“You swear?”
“That I’d fuck you again?”
Whoa. “No, I mean you don’t love me, right?”
“Ohhh. Yeah, I swear. I mean, I like you a lot, but clearly you don’t want any strings. Am I right?” Despite her efforts to shrug the whole thing off, I could still hear the hopefulness in her voice.
“Sorry, no. There’s just too much on my plate right now for any sort of real relationship. I hope you can understand.” Please gods understand.
She smiled, though it looked forced. “I do.” She shifted slightly. “So…do you wanna…” She licked her lips and then bit the bottom one. Despite everything my logical mind had been telling me for days, I couldn’t help but to find her extremely sexy. But I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
“We don’t have long until the Black,” I said, looking up toward the slowly darkening sky. “We should seek cover.”
That reminder paled her even more than she already was. “Oh gosh, I’d almost forgotten,” she said. “Will there be monsters? Like those slithers you tried to make me fight?”
“Maybe,” I said, not mentioning that if all we ran into were slithers that we’d be very lucky. “Either way, we shouldn’t take unnecessary chances. And remember your sword training with Millania? You got this.”
As she stood, her hand instinctively went to her katana’s hilt. “I—I’ve never killed anything in my life. You saw me with those nasty snakes, I was hopeless.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I asked, motioning for us to keep walking. Daylight really was run
ning out on us. She nodded. “Before I came here, I’d never killed anything either. Well, maybe a mosquito—once. But I felt bad about it. I played video games and pretended to be this real badass. But I was really just a wannabe.”
“Really? But you’re so…manly.”
It was my turn to laugh. “That’s what happens when the goddesses level you up—twice. Before I came here I had a dad bod and I wasn’t even a dad!”
She smiled. “I’m trying to imagine it, but I can’t. All I see are muscles.”
“Not a bad improvement, eh?”
“Not bad at all. I’m just glad you didn’t see me before they changed me.” She blushed and looked away.
I didn’t know if it was idiotic to tell her, but I was committed to being as truthful with my Warriors as possible. “I did see you,” I said.
“What?” Her eyes flashed back to mine, and I could tell she was horrified by what I’d said.
“You were good looking before and you’re good looking now.”
“You don’t have to say that.”
“Look, it’s true. Back on Earth, I only dreamed of being with a girl like you—the real you. Most guys—except for the dumb ones—would feel the same.”
“You’re gonna make me blush,” she said, though she was already blushing. Complimenting her also seemed to bring out her accent even more. “Plus, none of my exes seemed to think I was very special.”
“Exactly,” I said. “They’re the dumb ones I was referring to.”
Another smile. It really was her best expression and I didn’t mind making her do it. At the same time, I knew Beat would be rolling her eyes and telling her I was an idiot and breaking all kinds of rules of Stalker 101. But hey, I’d already told Belle that a relationship was out of the question, so what was the harm in trying to build up her self-esteem? “You’re sweet,” she said. “A real gentleman. I didn’t know guys like you existed.”
Shit. This was the harm. I needed to reel things back in a little. “Trust me, I’m no gentleman. I’ve slept with half the women in this place.” Well, technically more than half—at least the ones I knew about.
“Yes, but you don’t lie about it. My exes all slept around but they pretended like they didn’t and liked to hit me when I called them on it.”
