I sighed against her mouth and she used my moment of weakness to slip that little pink tongue into my mouth. The moment her hot tongue pressed against mine, I groaned. Her lips spread into a smile against mine, no doubt feeling the evidence of how deeply she affected me, digging into her stomach.
I pulled back, needing her eyes in the moment. Her big blue eyes stared back at me, the happiness I felt inside apparent on her face. I dropped my face, my lips resting on her exposed collarbone.
I pecked at her skin because I couldn’t help myself. She gave permission to kiss her. And I planned on kissing her. Soft kisses. Slow kisses. Deep kisses. Hard kisses. Soul crushing kisses. Any kind of kiss that involved her lips was what my future held. Even if I could only kiss her for ninety-four more days, I would take it.
“You.” A kiss to her collarbone.
“Kill.” A kiss to the dainty curve of her chin.
“Me.” A kiss to the edge of her smiling lips.
A laugh bubbled between her lips, tickling mine. She grabbed a hold of my face again, until I met her eyes. “I swear, I’m not trying.”
I gulped past a sudden lump in my throat, a request dangling on the tip of my tongue, one I refused to voice, desperation be damned. Please don’t ever stop killing me. I want you to make me weak until my last breath. Hurt me and be the one to put me back together again.
I laid back down on my back, bringing her with me until her head rested on my chest, her arms wrapping around my torso. I avoided her eyes, scared she’d see the truth in them. The truth she could never know.
“I want to talk to you about something.” I didn’t reply, using my fingers to urge her to go on.
My reprieve was short lived as her hands slid from around me to lift her face on my chest, bringing our faces impossibly close together. “A few weeks ago, the night you were late picking me up, a flier fell at my feet just before I opened the car door.”
Ah, she was finally telling me about poetry. I smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“This may sound like total bullshit, but it called to me. I guess like a guitar would to a musician. It was a flier for a poetry reading and my gut told me I had to go. So I went. Two hours and a dozen people who shared their stories through prose completely altered me. Inspired me to write my own.”
The words she wrote about me. A smile played on my lips remembering the last line she wrote. Oh, how I miss those lips on mine.
“I don’t know how good I am at it right now but I know I want to be better.”
“You love it.”
Her lips curved into an uninhibited smile, flashing her white teeth and pink tongue. “I do. I’ve been waiting for a second show. Today, while I was having lunch with Nolan, a girl came over to us and handed me another flier.”
I quirked an eyebrow up at her. “Since when have you and Nolan been eating lunch together?”
My best friend was a fucking dead man. The moment I got my hands on him, I was going to strangle him. My mother would disapprove, but she would forgive me. I’d beg for it.
Here I was, trying my fucking hardest to keep Annie’s identity a secret. Protect her name, shield her face from any association with my name while he paraded her around the city, placing a target on all of our backs.
Her hands reached out, her fingers dancing across my skin, smoothing out my frown. “Nolan and I, we understand each other in a way you can’t.” My frown grew tenfold, unsettled that anyone could understand her better than I could. “Our childhoods shaped us differently. He needs someone to understand him, Hector. And I do.”
I nodded. “I just wish you didn’t have to do it publicly,” I grumbled.
She patted my cheek softly, silently telling me to get over it. I never would. A connection to the Rivera family could protect her but like my mom, even our protection was limited.
I closed my eyes, feigning tiredness. I couldn’t look at her anymore. Now that she gave us the green light, I wanted to drive full speed. But I couldn’t do that, not when life warned me to pay closer attention to the other drivers surrounding me. There was more of a chance they’d hurt me before I hurt myself.
She settled against my chest again, her hand trailing to palm my cheek. “Thank you.”
“For what,” I murmured, my eyes wide open now that hers were hidden.
“For seeing me.”
I swore the moment her breathing evened out, I would scoop her body off of me and hunt down my best friend and try my best not to inflict too much damage on him, now that killing him was no longer an option since he meant something to the woman in my arms, but her arms felt too good to leave.
I woke up to the feel of Annie’s hands resting directly over my heart. Sometime in the night, they must have slipped underneath my shirt. The direct contact had my dick stirring to life. I threw my eyes shut, fighting off a groan.
I’d give myself one minute. One more minute to lie next to her, bask in the feel of her, before I had to get up.
One minute turned into ten. Ten turned into an hour. The only thing that forced me out of bed was an incoming call from Samuel. I untangled our bodies before answering and heading downstairs.
“Hey, Dad. How was your date last night?”
I frowned. How the fuck did he know about that? I asked him as much.
His laughter boomed, making me wince. “I was fucking with you, Dad. But fuck, she really got you out on a date.”
“I thought you talked to Nolan,” I grumbled.
His laughter still hadn’t subsided. “Like he would tell me anything. His loyalty to you is unmatched.”
I snorted, opening the fridge and grabbing milk and eggs. “Maybe that loyalty is slipping.”
Samuel’s laughter died. “What’s going on? Do I need to come home?”
It was my turn to laugh. “No. Annie and him, they’re close.”
Samuel’s playfulness returned at once. “He’s got it bad. You got it bad. When do I get to meet this perfect woman?”
I ignored him, not liking the inevitable answer to his question. She’d be long gone before he came home from school over Christmas break. “How is Europe?”
“It’s good. I’m learning the language of love.”
I snickered. “The actual language or the one you learn at night after you pick up a woman?”
“I think it’s a fairly equal balance,” he said thoughtfully and it took great effort not to roll my eyes at him. “I only have a couple more weeks here. I wish I was coming back home but we’re flying out two days before my first day of classes, so I won’t be able to swing it. Maybe I can call Annie on a video chat, let her know there’s another Rivera at her mercy.”
“Samuel.”
He hummed like the smart ass he was. I hung up without another word.
I was cracking three eggs into a glass when, a pair of small hands slid around me, lacing together in the middle of my rib cage. I tossed my head over my shoulder to find Annie, a sleepy smile on her face. I just got rid of the effect she left on my body and here she was, lighting my body up with a single touch.
She pressed a kiss against my spine and I hurried and gulped a raw egg, the coolness as it glided down my throat relieving some of the tension in my tight body.
“Morning,” I grunted, holding the glass in my hand a little too tightly.
“Good morning,” she whispered against my back.
“What are you doing up so early?”
She let go of me to grab a glass of orange juice. When she turned back around, her lips pressed together in a pout. “My heater left me.”
I tugged her hair. “Do you want me to make breakfast since you’re already up?”
She shook her head behind her glass. “No. I’m going to get a workout in. My pants are not loving how much I’ve been eating.”
I grinned wolfishly. My cooking fed her well, her bones had long been filled out by fat. She rolled her eyes at me. “I’m not helping you lift again. Not after the last time.”
&nbs
p; She threw her head back and laughed. She sauntered up to where I leaned on the counter, swirling my last egg in a cup. Her fingers reached out, her fingers brushing the hem of my t-shirt, before her fingers danced underneath my skin, my abs contracting at her teasing touch. “I regret that decision now.”
“Why,” I asked, unsure of what we were talking about. Her hands flattened so her palms pressed against my skin. She leaned on me, closing the space between us.
“I kind of miss seeing this.”
“Are you asking me to ditch the shirt, bonita?”
Her cheeks stained pink. I reached behind my back with one hand and lifted my shirt over my head. Her face fell forward, her forehead landing directly on my sternum. Her nails reached out, lightly scratching at my skin. “You’ll really do anything I ask of you.”
I let my hand trail the length of her hair. “Whatever you want, it’s yours,” I repeated the sentiment I once assured her with when I proposed these six months to her. The words taking on a whole new meaning in such a short amount of time.
She slapped her palms against my chest before backing away, grabbing my shirt from the floor and tossing it over her shoulder. “Great.” She paused, turning around as she hit the first stair. I hadn’t taken my eyes off her. “I work until seven and we’ll go out on a date.”
I nodded until I picked up on the last word. “Date?” I asked, quirking up an eyebrow.
“Yes. I know our meeting was unconventional. But dates, they’re still a thing. We are going to have one, preferably tonight.”
“No.” In a different world, I would have dated the fuck out of her. She’d probably have two rings on her hand at this point if we were different people. But I was who I was and there wasn’t anything I could do to change that. Not even for her.
“No,” she mused, relaxed as could be.
“No. No dates. The only reason I came last night was because I know you needed it.”
She turned around fully, crossing her arms across her chest. “If I’m not mistaken, you kissed me back last night. You let me sleep on you. I felt you when I sat in your lap. I woke up in the middle of the night to find your hands all over me. What do you mean ‘no’?”
I sighed, knowing our bubble of bliss was about to pop. “This six month deal we have isn’t an ulterior motive, Annie. It’s not so I could be close to you or convince you to stay. It’s about you. I don’t matter in this. I wanted you to live a life for yourself that you could keep, that could make you happy. When six months is up, you’re gone and I’m going to be here. Getting closer, going on dates, is just going to mess with your head about what you want your future to look like. I’ll tell you one thing for certain; your future doesn’t have me in it.”
There was nothing more than I wanted more than to date Annie. To show her a life so good, she wouldn’t even dream about leaving but I didn’t want to erase another woman’s identity. I didn’t want to fall in love a second time just to erase another woman’s touch from my memory and my life from hers. I wanted a love like my parents. A love you would kill for. A love you would die for. But I’ve come to terms with the possibility that that kind of love wasn’t in the cards for me.
She flinched and I wanted to take the words back, take the truth back, but it was too late. “Okay,” she conceded after a long stare down. “No dates.”
I tried not to let her flippancy, her easy agreement get to me, but the moment her feet disappeared from view, I gripped the countertops for support. But nothing could ease the sharpness drawing tight in my chest.
We were quiet on the way to work. She didn’t come in to the gym to work out like she planned. She didn’t even let me prepare her breakfast, instead choosing the sugary cereal bullshit. I was ready to drag us both back to bed and press restart on this day.
Things took a turn for the worst when my phone chimed with a text from her two hours after I dropped her off. Matt needs some help booking clients. The new guy called off. I won’t be done until eight tonight.
After I attended my last meeting, I headed home, wanting to sleep to forget all about this shitty day. After twenty minutes of tossing and turning and smelling her lavender shampoo in every crevice of the bed, I headed down to the gym to lift.
My phone chimed. I looked down at the screen to find Annie calling. I looked at my watch, confused. She still had another two hours. “Are you ready now?” I asked without saying hello, grabbing my keys, already heading for my car.
“Nolan picked me up actually,” she admitted quietly.
I groaned, loud and long, realization catching up to me. I should’ve been pissed but I could only smile at her antics. This was classic Annie. I’d tell her how something was going to be, she’d easily agree, and the next thing I know, I have a brand new scar marking my body. “What do you have up your sleeve, bonita?”
“Nothing. Except I’m here waiting for you and I really hope you don’t stand me up on our first official date.”
“Didn’t we have this conversation earlier?”
“We did,” she agreed. “I just didn’t much care for the outcome.”
I dropped my keys on the table, backtracking upstairs.
“You can go, Nolan. Hector’s on his way.”
I always thought that everyone deserved a choice. The right to say no or yes as they pleased. But with Annie, my choice has been stripped away. Making her happy wasn’t an option; it was a duty.
“Annie,” I said on a sigh.
“Old Style Theater. GPS it,” were her only instructions before she ended the phone call.
No one hung up on me. No one got the last word with me. Always the fucking exception.
I hurried up, threw myself in the shower before dressing in a pair of dark wash jeans and a black hoodie. I traveled to the side of the house where I usually parked the Lexus. My teeth grinding as I rounded the corner to find it missing.
I trudged back to my car, already dialing Nolan. He didn’t answer the first time. Or the second time. After trying a third time, I said fuck it, and climbed in my car. I made it to the end of my driveway before his car came flying my way.
I killed the engine, hopping out. Nolan did the same, throwing his keys over to me. “Take mine.”
“We’re going to have words,” I promised him. He ducked his head, avoiding my eyes.
“I’ll wait here until you two get back,” he muttered, pulling at his fitted hat.
“Does she have the Lex?”
He nodded. I slammed a hand over his shoulder. “Get in the car. You’ll talk while I drive.”
He sulked around toward the passenger side like a scolded teenager.
I sped out of the driveway, not slowing down until I hit the evening traffic. “What’s going on with you and Annie?” I asked the question softly, knowing he had his limits before he would shut down. And Annie probably pressed all of them today.
He threw a panicked look my way, his usual pale skin glowing with heat. “Nothing. Nothing in that way.”
I reached over and patted his shoulder, silencing his outburst. “I know, Nolan. I know there is nothing between the two of you. You’re friends,” I said, but it came out more of a question.
“She understands me.” His confession sounded a lot like her. “She understands me in a way no one ever has. She sees me in a crowded room. She sees me in the dark. It’s oddly comforting to know that a million people could be in a room and she wouldn’t even sort out ten before her eyes found me. I’m undetectable to everyone but her.”
I smiled softly, racing my way to a woman who didn’t only manage to sneak into my heart but snuck into my best friend’s heart, too. “Unless you’re in the same room. Then, all bets are off.” My smile only grew at his words.
It wasn’t until I saw the drive-in theater pop into view before I remembered the real reason I was pissed at him. “You shouldn’t be parading her around the city, Nolan. It’s dangerous.”
I parked his car just outside of the venue.
“Why?”
I bit my tongue, my mother’s dying wish stopping the words from tumbling out. “It’s dangerous. I’m never short-handed of enemies. The kind of people who find out who we love and target us that way.”
I turned to him. “Annie’s not going to stick around forever.”
“Why the fuck not?” he shouted, a deep frown settling into his forehead.
I rubbed his shoulder to calm him down. “She’s only here because I made a deal with her. I should have told you, and I’m sorry. In three months, I’m handing over Cameron and she’s leaving.”
Nolan rubbed at his chest with his palms. “I could kill Cameron,” he whispered. “Then, she’d have no choice but to stay.”
“Nolan, no. She would only run farther away. I don’t know if she’ll stay in Philadelphia or not. I don’t know what she’ll do in three months’ time. Wherever she goes, you can follow her if that’s what you want. If that’s what she wants.”
“And what about you?”
“I don’t matter in this.”
He tilted his head, looking at me in confusion.
I just shook my head. “I have to get in there before she kills me. We’ll talk later about this.”
We both got out. I handed him the keys as we met in front of the hood of his car. He pulled my hand and wrapped his arms around my back in a tight hug. “I’m sorry if I put her in danger. That wasn’t my intention. Hopefully, she’ll forgive me.”
Before I could rebut his guilt, he slid into the driver’s seat and tore out of the parking spot, his black car disappearing in the city lights.
My mother’s dream car was the closest car to the exit, the hatchback popped open, a head of blonde hair staring up at the drive-in screen. I didn’t even realize drive-ins were still a thing. I rounded the car, choosing to lean up against it rather than to make my presence known.
I knew, at some point, she must have returned to the house to steal my car and change clothes. She wore tight, distressed jeans, her creamy skin teasing me. A simple black sweater with cuffed sleeves covered her top. My eyes perused her skin, noticing the goosebumps covering her wrists, the light dusting of almost invisible blonde hair rising against her skin.
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