I reveled in the way her body fit in with mine. Our ages, our size, our lives all different but our limbs still tangled like they were made for each other. I closed my eyes tightly, knowing tonight would be the last night I could hold her like this. It wasn’t fair to her. She signed up for six months of finding herself, not six months of me. And that six months was winding down. I didn’t need to give her a reason to think she’d had to stay. I’d already given her too much.
“I love you, Annie,” I confessed. And then I whispered my absolute truth, despite my own breaking heart, “I love you too much to keep you.”
I removed her arms and legs from me and placed her at arm’s length and I watched her. I watched her sleep until the sun rose. I watched her soft breaths and her nose twitch and a few frowns that marred her face when she tossed and turned throughout the night. Just as the sun made its ascent over the room, I made my way downstairs.
My mind was set. I’d shake off some of this self-loathing in the gym until she woke up and killed me with her anger and hurt. But my feet didn’t take me to the gym. They took me to the kitchen.
I didn’t regret making love to her. I never wanted to stop loving her. And that was the problem. I was a man of my word and when she agreed to these six months, I promised her that I didn’t matter. This entire plan was for her. For what she really would choose if the choice was given to her.
This wasn’t about me. It didn’t matter if she was the best part of my day. It didn’t matter if I wanted her way past the six-month mark. It sure as hell didn’t matter that for only the second time in my life, I fell in love.
I took my time in the kitchen making her breakfast, replaying every moment we shared since the first night. It played in my head like a movie. A movie that didn’t have an ending yet. A movie that might never have an ending. A happy one, anyhow.
I filled her plate with plantains, ham, and scrambled eggs and grabbed a glass of OJ from the fridge. I took the stairs two at a time to find her fast asleep. I set her breakfast on the nightstand by her head and kneeled on the carpet next to her.
She was so goddamn beautiful. Inside and out. The prettiest woman I’ve laid my eyes on attached with a fiery heart. She was my dream come true and I was an idiot for even thinking about letting her go. But I had to.
I leaned my head down, my forehead resting on her stomach. A million what-ifs floating around in my head.
What if history repeated itself? I couldn’t bear to see her hurt. And that’s what would happen if she truly became mine. A target would be placed on her and every one of my enemies would be searching for blood. Maybe we’d get a few months, maybe we’d get a few years. We couldn’t get a grow old together love. Not when I was a Rivera.
What if she couldn’t handle my lifestyle? What if Annie grew to be like Summer, where she could no longer look past all the darkness in me? What if I was ruining her life with the mere thought that we could be something more?
Annie’s stomach tensed underneath my eyes and I raised my head. Her eyes remained closed but her breathing hitched so I knew she had awakened. “Annie, I’m sorry.” My mind raced with my tongue, trying to get the words out before her anger could fully resurface.
“Sorry for which part exactly,” she ground out, still hiding her eyes from me.
“For abandoning you after...” I choked on the words. Her jaw clenched as did her fists by her side. I stumbled for something to say, to make her feel better but I could only find the truth. “I’ve been kissing you for weeks.” Falling for you even longer. “When you let me have your body, it felt like everything changed. You were no longer Annie. I was no longer Hector. We were just us and I didn’t know how to handle that.”
I watched her throat bob and fucking finally, she uncovered those blues from me. Unshed tears covered my favorite sight in the world. I hated myself for putting that look on her face.
“You gave me the one thing you’ve never given anyone else.”
“Hector.” Her voice was a shaky whisper. “I have given you everything I never even thought to give to someone else.”
My head fell against her stomach once more. God, how was she even real? How did I even get the privilege of knowing her for one second? How did I deserve to kiss her lips and wrap her body around me?
Her hand fell to my head, her delicate fingers running through my hair, sending shivers down my spine. “There’s less than two months left.”
I tried to lift my head, to find her eyes, but she applied pressure to my scalp and I didn’t fight her hold. “I want out.”
“That wasn’t the deal.” I had to clench my jaw to not fight her hold on me, to not fight the tears balling underneath my eyelids.
“Keep him.” She dug harder in my hair and I wasn’t even sure if she was conscious of her strength. “I’ve come to terms that he’s not important. He never was. Him dying won’t bring my mom back. There are other ways to honor her and her memory and her impact on my life than killing her murderer. So, I’m out. If you want me out, then, I’m out.”
I opened my mouth to say what, I wasn’t sure before clamping my lips together, struck speechless. This is what I wanted. I wanted her to make this choice since we struck our deal. I wanted her to realize there was more to life than revenge. She was free now. There was just one problem: I didn’t want to open her cage; I didn’t want her to fly away.
Our moment was broken apart by the slamming of the door downstairs. I ripped her hand away from me, reaching for the gun in the nightstand before the voice of the intruder floated up the stairs.
“Yo, Dad.”
Samuel. What the hell was he doing home?
His footsteps grew louder and louder until he appeared in the doorway of my bedroom. My son, in the flesh. I rose on my two feet to greet him but he didn’t spare me a second glance. He dove headfirst on to the bed, landing on his elbows and looking mischievously at Annie.
I felt a growl form in my chest, but both of them ignored me. “Hot Mama, it’s so nice to finally meet you.”
That tore a small laugh out of Annie and Samuel started to dive in on his million questions. I tried to catch her eye but she refused to glance in my direction.
I didn’t know what to think as I made my way to the gym. I knew I felt numb. Numb to the core because if Cameron wasn’t holding her here, then she could leave. Then, she could be out of my life forever.
I was determined to distance myself from Annie two hours ago. Then, she hit me with a truth bomb that my plan worked after all and now she put the choice in my hands. If I let her stay, I’d become who I’ve always hated. I wouldn’t be giving her the choice. If she stayed, it was forever. Whether she liked it or not. If she stayed, a target would be put on her back. If she stayed, it made me one hell of a selfish son of a bitch. If she left, she kept her choices, her freedom, her life. My heart.
I spent a good part of the day pounding my fists and legs into the bag of rocks two rooms away from my son and a woman who could have been the love of my life if we both were two different people.
The two of them do not leave each other’s sight the entire day. Samuel’s overnight bags were still where he dropped them by the front door. It wasn’t until I announced that dinner was done that they joined me in the kitchen. I made tacos because one, he complained to me every day about the lack of Mexican food overseas and because I knew it was Annie’s favorite. I sat in my normal seat, waiting for Annie to sit beside me but she headed straight for the bench, across from me, forcing Samuel next to me. I watched her throughout the entire dinner as Samuel filled her in on everything he did for the past couple of months abroad. He was just getting into his sexcapades when Annie stood up.
“I’m heading to bed now before I’m scarred for life.”
I stood, ready to follow her, but she pinned me with a look.
“I stole your son all day, stay.”
I sat my ass back down and watched her disappear upstairs.
I felt Samuel’s eyes on me but I refu
sed to acknowledge him. But like father like son, he was not one to be ignored. “You’re a fucking dumbass if you let her go.”
I whipped my head around to look at him. I looked at him closely, intently. My son was a sarcastic little shit; he’d never taken life too seriously. He always got good grades and he was always safe and prepared for anything but he wasn’t as serious as I was. Hell, I didn’t think he was half as serious as I was. But he was blunt. When he talked, he didn’t bullshit. He told you exactly what he thought, unafraid of hurting your feelings. He didn’t hold back. Looking into his eyes, I knew this was one of those moments that he wasn’t going to hold back. “You don’t understand. She doesn’t deserve this life.”
He scoffed, dismissing me with a wave of his hand as he got up and rinsed off his plate in the sink, his back turned to me. “You can come up with one excuse or a thousand, as many as you like, really. But none of those matter, only the truth.” He turned around, his hands landing on top of the bar. “You’re scared. Of her. Of what a life with her would be like. You say she doesn’t deserve this life but look at the way you met. And it’s not like this is going to be your life forever. In four years time, I’m coming back from LA and I’m taking over. You’re going to retire and stay here or move to Mexico or travel or whatever it is that you want to do.”
“Sam—” I tried, but he cut me off.
“I’m taking over, Dad. I should’ve already taken over by now but you wanted it to be my choice. It’s my choice now. I’m majoring in computer science and business to help the Rivera name. It’s going to be my choice in four years.”
I ground my teeth together, not wanting to have this fight again with him. Also, knowing I’d rather talk about anything else but the woman upstairs in my bed. “You’re scared of her. Of what she makes you feel. Of what will happen when she wises up and leaves your sorry ass. She’s not Mom.”
I snapped my angry gaze to him, hating him in that second for bringing her up. “She’s not,” he pressed on, ignoring me completely. “And it’s unfair that you’re still letting her affect your life now.”
I didn’t say anything back. For the second time that day, I was at a loss for words. Samuel disappeared into his bedroom and I sat there in the kitchen feeling like my body was split into two. When I made my way upstairs, Annie was on the edge of the bed on her side under the comforter and she laid my blanket out on my side, her message clear: don’t fucking touch me. I didn’t bother lying down on the bed. I grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and sat on it, looking at her while she slept, hopeful that this wasn’t the last time I would get the privilege. But you know what they say about hope, it hurts like a bitch when it’s destroyed.
I slept horribly, well accustomed to a body holding me through the night. I looked to where Hector should be, unsurprised to find the space empty, the blanket I laid out last night exactly where I left it.
I wasn’t too eager to face the day. To not kiss Hector good morning. To sit in a car with him while he dropped me off in the city in tense silence. To try not to look at his face, knowing it was one of the last times I would get the privilege.
It was insane to think that Hector had come in my life four months ago and I thought I could survive him. Survive the six months of derailment he forced upon me. But leaving him, leaving this house, leaving our built routine, leaving my favorite pair of brown eyes didn’t feel like surviving. It felt like I lost everything. I’ve felt that before but I could get revenge on behalf of my mother; there wasn’t any revenge I could seek for my broken heart.
Samuel was my last shred of hope. If there was anyone Hector would listen to, it would be his son. I knew they talked last night but I wasn’t brave enough to face the things Hector might, or worse, wouldn’t say.
I flipped the covers off of me and headed to the bathroom when I just barely held back a scream. Hector was sleeping on a chair in the corner of the room. His head hung low, his chin resting against his clavicle like it was against his choice to fall asleep, but his eyes failed him. I collapsed on the edge of the bed willing my heartbeat to slow down. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. His brown skin that I knew was soft and hard at the same time. His hands that held me like they were made just for that reason. The way those lips curved up into the most delicious smile whenever I teased him.
A sigh escaped me and I tensed, afraid it would wake him but he didn’t budge. Five more minutes, I silently promised, five more minutes and then I had to get out of this room.
My promise was broken when ten minutes passed and I still couldn’t convince myself away from him. I couldn’t tear my eyes from his face. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he was once a stranger that stood in the way of what I wanted and now the only thing I wanted was him.
It wasn’t until he jerked in the chair that I forced myself to run out of the room. There was another Rivera man downstairs, one that would actually tell me the truth.
When I walked into the kitchen, Samuel was already at the table, a textbook, notebook, and pen lying out in front of him. “What are you working on?”
His head raised and he shot me a slow, seductive smile to which I rolled my eyes. “I’m taking women’s studies,” he said, waggling his brows.
Oh, brother. I coughed out a laugh. “You know your dad isn’t going to be too pleased when you become a father your freshman year of college.”
Samuel chuckled. “Not me, Annie. I date smart chicks. They always make sure I wrap it up even if I forget.” The way he said the word “date” told me everything I didn’t want to know.
We fell into a comfortable silence, him continuing with his reading and note taking and me with a bowl of cereal and coffee. The sound of soft footsteps descending the stairs caused the hair on my arms to stand. I locked eyes with Samuel, the burning question written all over my face: is he going to let me go or is he going to keep me?
Samuel looked from the stairs where his father had just emerged back to me. He shook his head, his eyes becoming sad in an instant.
In that moment, I experienced heartbreak in a way I never had before. The way you could love someone so much and still have to walk away from them because love was only love when it was unselfish. I had to be unselfish. I couldn’t stand, go over to him, and demand he love me back. Demand he ask me to stay. Demand to never let me go. That’s what I wanted. But it wasn’t what he wanted and to accept that, it broke my heart more than he ever could.
Your heart is the most important part of your body. I figured when it was breaking, it would make a noise. A sound as loud as fireworks exploding, a creak of a branch being stepped on in the quiet woods, anything. But nothing happened, nothing but deafening silence as your world stalled and started back up again.
Hector came up beside me, careful not to touch me, and poured himself a cup of coffee. I was thankful and pissed at the same time at him for denying me one last touch. I excused myself upstairs using the excuse of a shower and waited until I heard the clinking of weights before I snuck downstairs again. Samuel was in the same place, tapping the butt of his pen against his temple.
I sat down beside him. “You’ll take me then,” I whispered. “When you leave?”
He didn’t look up at me, just kept frowning at his textbook, but he did nod.
“One more thing.”
He inclined his head, silently letting me know he was listening.
“Keep him busy until then.” A sob rose its way up and I had to cover my mouth to halt the noise.
Back upstairs, I turned on the shower and only when I stepped under the water did I let my tears cascade down my face. I stayed in the shower until I had no tears left. Then, I got myself ready for the day because I was Annie Miller and my world was so much more than a man even if it was the only one I’d ever loved.
I went back downstairs to find the kitchen empty. The sounds of weights still going. I contemplated just calling Nolan for a ride, but decided against it. Roping Hector into things was a big part of our relationshi
p and I didn’t plan to stop until our goodbye was over.
When I walked into the room, Hector was spotting his son who was doing bench presses. He was always so serious all of the time. Even now, spending the day with his son, his mouth formed into a straight line, his emotions locked up tighter than a princess in an abandoned castle. If I didn’t know how much Samuel meant to him, I would think today was just another day for him.
Samuel was counting out his reps and when he unsteadily breathed out one hundred, he let the barbell of weights slam back on the machine. He moved to get up, his chest heaving erratically, but Hector moved fast, pressing Samuel’s body back into the bench.
“You’re weak. Go again.”
Samuel groaned, but Hector didn’t budge, not until Samuel’s hands found the barbell again. “Does it really matter if I can do five hundred reps of lifting three-hundred pounds in the long run?” Samuel asked as he continued to lift.
“Sometimes being the smartest person in the room isn’t enough, mijo. Sometimes you have to be the strongest, too.”
I had a feeling he was no longer talking about Samuel and more about himself. About me and about us. I wanted to call bullshit on him, but Samuel beat me to it.
“Mamadas,” Samuel huffed, not skipping a beat in movement, switching over languages. “No me quites tu frustración porque no puedes ser hombrey mantener a la mujer que amas.” Translation: Don’t take your frustrations out on me because you can’t be man enough to keep the woman you love.
I pressed my lips tightly together as I put Samuel’s words together. Damn, this kid was fearless. I knew I needed to announce my presence, but I couldn’t. My feet were glued to the spot and my mouth felt like sandpaper.
Hector ignored Samuel. “Someone ambushes you, then what?
“Blow their fucking brains out,” Samuel said as if that was the only answer.
I tried to suppress my laugh but failed. Two heads snapped in my direction. Samuel shot me a sinister smirk and Hector’s jaw was wound so tight I was afraid it might snap. I didn’t cower or hide or apologize for my intrusion. “Speaking of guns, I need a ride to work.”
Hijacked Page 28
