“Oh, that’s good,” I said. “I like that resolution.”
Hannie sat down at her desk. She pawed through the junk in it with one hand. She bit the nails on her other hand.
“Hannie! You’re biting your nails again!” I cried.
“Oh,” said Hannie. She looked guilty.
I went right back to my desk. I pulled the notebook out of it. (I’d been carrying the notebook around with me.) On Hannie’s page I wrote: Jan. 3 — Hannie was biting her nails again.
At recess, I realized something. Ricky had not asked me to marry him yet. I had to go find him. He was playing catch with Hank Reubens.
“Hey, Ricky!” I yelled. “Come here!”
Ricky tossed the ball to Hank. Then he ran to me. “Yeah?” he said.
“You haven’t asked me to marry you yet.”
“I know.”
“Well?”
“Well, I didn’t say when I would ask you,” Ricky replied.
I felt grumpy. No one was keeping their promises.
It was not fair.
Oops!
After recess, we went back to our classroom. We never know what to expect then. Sometimes Ms. Colman has work for us. Sometimes she has a fun project for us. Sometimes she reads to us.
That day, she read.
“Class,” began Ms. Colman, “since it’s the beginning of a new year, I thought we should start a new book. This is the book that I picked out.”
Ms. Colman held up a copy of Doctor Dolittle.
“I know that book!” I cried without raising my hand.
“Indoor voice, Karen,” said Ms. Colman. “And please remember to raise your hand.”
“Sorry,” I said. “Anyway, it’s a story about a man who can talk to animals.”
“That’s right,” said Ms. Colman. And she began to read.
The story was so good that I turned around in my seat. I wanted to see how Hannie and Nancy liked it. Guess what. Their hands were joined. They were passing a note!
I swung around and pulled my notebook out of my desk. On Nancy’s page I wrote: Jan. 3 — Nancy passed a note to Hannie in school.
I … WAS … MAD.
But when I asked them about it after school, Hannie said, “I passed the note, Karen. Nancy kept her resolution.”
I did not believe her.
* * *
That night, Andrew and I were back at the little house. I was so, so happy to see Mommy and Seth again. So was Andrew. We had a very nice dinner together. Then I did my homework.
I was in the middle of a hard arithmetic problem when I heard Mommy say, “Time to get ready for bed, Andrew.”
I jumped up. I knew what he would do first — brush his teeth.
I stood outside the door to the bathroom and listened. When I heard Andrew spit out his toothpaste, I peeked in the bathroom.
Andrew did not floss his teeth!
Okay, I thought. Andrew isn’t keeping his resolution, either. I tiptoed back to my bedroom. I made a page for Andrew and wrote: Jan. 3 — Andrew did not floss his teeth after dinner.
* * *
While I was writing, I chewed a piece of Bazooka bubble gum. Suddenly something occurred to me. Was this gum sugarless? No!
Now what had I done?
I had broken my first resolution for real. Oh, well. I would just change it. Kristy had not said you couldn’t change resolutions. So on my resolution paper, I crossed out the word sweets and wrote in candy. I will not eat candy. There. That was still a good resolution.
Soon it was my turn to go to bed. Mommy and Seth kissed me good night. They turned out the light. I lay in bed and thought. Sam had not kept his resolution. Kristy had not kept hers. Neither had Andrew nor Nancy nor Hannie.
I thought so much that I could not fall asleep. I kneeled on my bed and stared out the window. When I finally felt tired, I looked at my clock. The time was ten-fifteen. I was up way past my bedtime!
Uh-oh. Now what had I done?
Using a flashlight, I changed my third resolution to read: I will not stay up past my bedtime, even to read. Unless I cannot fall asleep.
Karen, the Spy
On January 11th, Mommy drove Andrew and me to the big house for the weekend. We had not been there since our long New Year’s visit. I brought my notebook with me. It was getting pretty full. Andrew had barely remembered to floss his teeth. Hannie kept biting her nails. And I had seen Nancy write two notes and pass them to Hannie.
I wondered how the people in my big-house family were doing. I hoped they were doing better than Andrew and Hannie and Nancy. As soon as dinner was over, I decided to find out. I knew that Nannie was supposed to do some exercises and walk around with her walker. Where did she exercise? I tiptoed around the house until I found her in the family room. Elizabeth was with her.
“Just a little more, Mom,” Elizabeth was saying. “Just a little more.”
I heard Nannie gasping. “I don’t think I can. That’s enough for tonight.”
“Okay. You did really well,” Elizabeth replied.
I ducked into a closet. I opened my notebook. On Nannie’s page, I wrote: Jan. 11 — Nannie’s not working her hardest.
Then I snuck upstairs. I saw Charlie in his room. He was doing his homework. The phone rang then, and Charlie called, “I’ll get it!”
I raced into my room before Charlie could see me. In my notebook I wrote: Jan. 11 — Charlie talked on the phone while he was supposed to be doing his homework. He has been talking for four minutes.
Boy. Couldn’t anybody keep their resolutions?
I hid my notebook under my pillow. Then I went into David Michael’s room.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he answered. David Michael was busy. He was drawing pictures of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. “This one is Raphael,” he told me.
“Nice,” I said. “Listen, David Michael, did you practice your hitting and pitching today?”
“Nah,” he replied.
“But that was your resolution. To practice every day.”
“But it was raining today.”
Back to my room. Jan. 11 — David Michael did not practice today.
I took my notebook and snuck downstairs. I heard a noise in the kitchen, so I flattened myself against the wall in the hallway. Then I slid toward the kitchen and peeped around the corner.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I SAW?
Daddy was taking a cake out of the refrigerator. He cut himself a slice. Then he sat down at the table by himself and ate the whole slice. Now how was Daddy going to lose ten pounds by April if he ate cake? Elizabeth was trying to help him lose weight. She was giving him fruit for dessert. But Daddy was sneaking sweets.
I raced upstairs. In huge letters on Daddy’s page, I wrote: JAN. 11 — DADDY ATE A PIECE OF CAKE AND HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON A DIET.
That night I spied on Elizabeth. She finished everything she started. So she was keeping her resolution. But almost everyone else in the big house had broken their New Year’s resolutions. Even Shannon, who had an accident by the front door, and Boo-Boo, who scratched Daddy.
Only Emily did not break a resolution. That was because she did not have one to break. And that was not fair.
I was disappointed in my big-house family.
Karen, the Tattletale
The next night I was very cross. On Saturday, this is what had happened:
David Michael did not practice.
Kristy talked on the phone with Bart about softball.
Elizabeth began to clean out the coat closet. She did not finish.
Daddy ate two cookies.
Sam burped.
I decided to do something about this at dinner. I took my notebook with me to the table. I waited until everyone had been served. Then I stood up.
“I have an announcement to make,” I said.
Daddy raised his eyebrows. “Yes?”
I moved to one end of the table and stood between Andrew and Kristy. I opened my book. “Nobody,” I began, “h
as been keeping their resolutions.”
“Their New Year’s resolutions?” asked Sam. “I forgot about them.”
“Well, I didn’t,” I said. “Listen to this.”
I began to read from my book. When I got to Andrew’s page, I said that he had only flossed his teeth twice.
Andrew’s face grew red. He started to cry.
“Andrew, why are you crying?” Kristy asked. She gave him a hug.
“Because,” Andrew answered, “I made a promise, and I didn’t keep it. And now everyone knows.”
“Andy-Pandy,” said Kristy, using Mommy’s special nickname for him. “Don’t worry. Nobody cares whether you kept your resolution.”
“I do,” I said. But Kristy did not pay attention.
“You just heard Karen,” Kristy went on. “Practically no one kept their resolutions, Andrew.”
Andrew sniffled and tried to stop crying.
“Anyway,” I said, “Hannie has been biting her nails, and — ”
“Karen, that’s quite enough,” said Daddy.
“Yeah,” said David Michael. Then he sang, “Tattletale, tattletale. Karen is a tattletale.” After that he added, “Kindergarten baby, stick your head in gravy. Wash it off with applesauce and — ”
“Enough!” said Daddy loudly. “Both of you stop it. Karen, sit down.”
Emily began to cry when she heard Daddy’s loud voice. She thought he was angry. (Well, he was. But not with her.)
“Now see what you started?” Elizabeth said crossly to me.
I hung my head. Everyone ate quietly for a few minutes. Finally, I said, “And Emily didn’t even have to make a resolution. We have to work — or try to work on special things — and she doesn’t.”
“Yes, she does,” said Nannie. “She’s learning English. And she’s being toilet-trained. She’s just too young to understand what resolutions are.”
Then Daddy said to me, “Karen, look around this table. I see a lot of hurt faces. Andrew is hurt. And Nannie looks very hurt.”
Nannie did look hurt. I felt especially bad about that. After all, she had been working. But she had said she would work extra hard. And I did not think she had done that.
After dinner, almost nobody would talk to me. Daddy and Elizabeth did say, “Good night,” when I went upstairs to bed. And David Michael stuck his head in my room and called me a tattletale again.
Then Kristy came in and said, “Nobody likes a spy.”
She did not offer to read to me that night.
At least I went to bed on time. I was keeping my resolutions.
But nobody else was.
Karen, the Good
The next day, Mommy was going to pick up Andrew and me at the big house at four o’clock. At three-thirty, Daddy said to me, “Karen, I would like to talk to you before you leave.”
This did not sound good.
“Where should we talk?” I asked.
“How about in your bedroom? Then we can be private.”
“Okay,” I said in a small voice. I was pretty sure I was in trouble.
Up in my room, Daddy shut the door. He sat in my armchair. I sat on my bed holding Moosie and Tickly very tightly.
“Karen,” Daddy began, “I am not pleased with your notebook. You have been tattling and spying. Do you remember one of the rules in this house?”
“No spying on the neighbors,” I said immediately. Daddy had made up that rule because I spied on Morbidda Destiny so much.
“Right,” said Daddy.
“But I spied on our family,” I pointed out.
“You also spied on Hannie. She is a neighbor. Besides, I don’t like when you spy on anybody. Got that?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“Good.
“Now, there are some other things I want to tell you. First of all, some people keep their New Year’s resolutions and some don’t. They try to, but maybe they can’t. Or they forget.”
“Okay. Can I go now?” I asked.
“No,” said Daddy. “I want you to understand some other things. I know you like contests, but resolutions are not contests. There are no winners or losers. New Year’s resolutions are mostly just for fun. People don’t always take them very seriously. They are things to work on if they feel like it.”
“Okay,” I said again.
“Now you can go,” Daddy told me.
“Thank you.”
“Will you think about what I said?”
“Yes,” I replied. But what I thought later, as I played in our playroom, was this: I had been very good at keeping my resolutions. I really had. I was proud of myself. And I had a long list of resolutions. I had kept them better than anyone else. Even if resolutions were not a contest.
At four o’clock on the dot, I heard a car honk outside.
Mommy!
I ran downstairs. To my surprise, Daddy was standing at our front door. He was calling for Mommy to come inside. So both Mommy and Seth came in.
Daddy said to Mommy, “I just want to speak to you in the kitchen for a few minutes.”
I started to follow them, but Seth pulled me back. “How was your weekend?” he asked me. “Did you have fun?”
“Yup,” I replied. I was dying to know what Mommy and Daddy were talking about. But Seth would not let me go.
Darn.
Oh, well. I knew I would find out sooner or later.
Even if it meant spying.
Who’s Watching Me?
The next week was weird. Have you ever had the feeling that someone is watching you? I have. And I felt it plenty of times that week.
It is a very creepy feeling. It makes my hair feel funny.
Monday was when I got the feeling the first time. It was during reading. I felt like someone was staring at me from behind. So I turned around. But nobody was looking at me.
Then, on the playground, I got the feeling again. I was jumping rope by myself. When I felt eyes on me, I looked all around the playground. Everyone was talking or playing. Even Hannie and Nancy. They were nearby, but they would not play with me. They were standing with their arms crossed.
“We’re mad,” Hannie had announced that morning.
“At me?” I asked.
“Yes, at you,” said Nancy crossly.
“Why?”
“Because,” Hannie began, “David Michael told me what you did last weekend. You told everyone at your house that I’m still biting my nails and Nancy is still passing notes. Now they all think we can’t keep promises.”
“Tattletale,” added Nancy, just like David Michael had said.
And then Hannie and Nancy turned their backs. They did not speak to me much that day. In fact, they did not speak to me much that week.
At home on Tuesday afternoon I got an even creepier feeling than the feeling about being watched. I thought I was being followed. I was going up the stairs to my room. I whipped around.
I did not see anyone.
WEIRD.
There was one other thing I didn’t like about the week. Ricky.
He had not asked me to marry him yet.
“When are you going to ask me?” I said on Wednesday.
“When I like you better,” replied Ricky.
I could feel my cheeks burn. I was hurt. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, when you quit being the Boss of the World. You are not in charge of everyone, you know.”
I guessed he was talking about my notebook.
I was beginning to wish I had never started writing in it.
Tattling on Karen
On Saturday afternoon, Andrew and I were playing in the little house. We were playing with our Christmas presents.
We had not worn them out yet.
Just as Andrew was smashing up another Dyno-car, Mommy came into the playroom. Seth was with her. Mommy was carrying a notebook.
“Karen? Andrew?” said Mommy. “Would you please sit on the couch for a little while? We want to talk to you.”
I expected Andrew to cry.
That is what he usually does when it sounds as if we are in trouble. Instead, he jumped onto the couch. I sat down next to him slowly. What was going on?
Seth sat in a chair, but Mommy did not sit down. She opened up the notebook she was carrying.
“Karen,” she said, “we want you to know that since last Sunday, these are the New Year’s resolutions you’ve broken.”
My mouth hung open. “What?”
Mommy answered me by saying, “You ate a lollipop after lunch on Tuesday. You did not always share your toys with Andrew.”
“Three times,” Andrew added.
“You only got a ninety-four on your spelling quiz,” Mommy went on. “That means you made some mistakes.”
“But I couldn’t help it!” I cried. “They were hard words. And Ms. Colman did not tell us to study them. They were a surprise.”
“You still broke your resolution, Karen,” said Mommy. “And you broke a lot of other resolutions, too.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“A few little spies,” replied Mommy. “Hannie, Nancy, Andrew …”
“Daddy always says no spying!” I exclaimed.
“I know. But I asked Andrew and your friends to spy on you this week so you could see how it feels. Do you like it?”
“No,” I mumbled. “And I don’t like being tattled on, either.”
“I didn’t think so,” said Mommy.
“Were there any other tattlers?” I asked.
“Does it matter?” replied Mommy. “I just wanted you to know how it feels. I also want you to know that I know you changed your resolutions.”
“How?” I demanded. “More spying?”
“No. I was cleaning up your room. I was collecting dirty clothes for the laundry. And under a shirt that was on the floor, I found your list of resolutions. You crossed things out. You added things. You changed your promises so that you could keep them. Do you think that was fair after what you did at Daddy’s last Saturday?”
Oh, so that’s what Mommy and Daddy had talked about in the kitchen.
“No,” I whispered. “It wasn’t fair. I was just trying to do my best. I made so many resolutions and I wanted to keep them all. I thought I was being good. But everything went wrong.”
Karen's New Year Page 3
