I stood there, nostrils flaring as I tried to find that cool, untouchable place where I resided during the school day.
I’d never had an issue finding it before. I’d come to think of it as my safe place, the space inside my mind where running into Danny didn’t bother me, where the whispers faded away before they could register, the place where I was immune to pain or hurt or anxiety.
But right now, that place felt shut off to me as I stared up at Conner, whose eyes were alarmingly serious, his expression almost fierce without that ever-present cocky grin. He didn’t raise his voice but I heard him loud and clear despite the crowd. “I know that you’re strong.”
My brows furrowed. Strong? Me?
Hardly.
I still hadn’t told my mom or confronted my dad and the weight of it was crushing me. I gasped for air like I’d just been sucker-punched as the family drama I’d been stewing over all week hit me with full force. My defenses were already down and these thoughts of my dad, my mom, my annoying but sweet little brothers… The wind was knocked out of me as I stared up at him.
I’m not strong.
I didn’t say it, thank goodness, but some part of my brain had screamed it. I knew what everyone thought of me and I didn’t care. Or, I tried not to care. But just once I wanted someone to see that I wasn’t so unfeeling even if I didn’t cry or wail or whatever it was I was supposed to have done when I’d broken up with Danny.
I’m not strong. I bit the inside of my lip to keep from blurting it out, but the weird thing was, Conner continued as if he’d heard it.
“You are strong if you can walk these halls and deal with these idiots without giving them the satisfaction of a reaction.”
I blinked in surprise.
“They can say what they like about you, but so far all I’ve seen is someone who’s quiet and honest.”
Honest? Yeah, that much was true, I supposed.
“When you do talk to me you’re blunt and you say what you mean,” he continued. “I like that.”
The intensity in his gaze softened and one corner of his mouth hitched up again, like it just couldn’t be contained. “So, what do you say?”
I blinked again, one thousand percent thrown by this bizarre conversation taking place in the middle of the Talmore High halls. “About what?”
“Do you want to be friends?”
I opened my mouth and shut it again. It was oddly tempting. But the thing was, I didn’t need another guy in my life complicating things, and that was exactly what he would do. Some part of my brain was still dimly aware of the stares, the whispers.
This guy probably didn’t even know that I was off-limits. That by talking to me he was making himself an enemy of the most popular guys in school.
I was toxic to him and he didn’t even know it.
I shook my head, oddly regretful at having to turn him down, even if it was just as a friend. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
His grin spread, not at all put off by the shut-down. “What about study partners, then?” He arched his brows. “I could seriously use your help in World History.”
That temptation was gone, replaced by certainty that this guy was just as dangerous to me as I was to him. The sheer fact that I had been tempted made that clear, not to mention his effect on me. This conversation was proof that he was a threat to my status quo—my plan to get through this year without any more drama or emotional upheaval.
Head down. That was the game plan. Go through the motions.
He’d surprised me with this strange little talk but now alarms were starting to go off in the back of my mind. Warning signals that this guy was messing with me. He had a motive, even if I couldn’t see it. He had an agenda, even if he disguised it better than most.
I ducked my head, already turning to join the masses filing to their classrooms. “Sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be sorry,” I heard his voice follow me as I walked away. “But just know, I don’t give up.”
I got swept up in the crowd, the flow moving faster as the seconds ticked down until the next bell. I don’t give up.
Those words followed me to my next class and throughout the rest of the day. I don’t give up. He’d sounded so sure. So determined, like a solemn vow, or a personal creed.
He didn’t give up, and he thought I was strong. And honest.
I couldn’t shake those words; his voice clung to me, his words haunting me throughout the day—not because they were so very shocking, but because they weren’t.
Strong and honest. That was who I wanted to be. That was who I’d always prided myself on being…and yet this week, I’d lost sight of that. I’d been reeling and wallowing—inside, at least. But that wasn’t me.
And just like that, by the end of last period, I knew what I had to do. I had to talk to my parents and I had to do it today.
When I got home, my gut a twisted knot of anxiety about how I was going to rat out my father—it became quickly apparent that I didn’t have to.
I heard the screaming before I made it all the way into the house. I felt the thud as something banged against the kitchen wall as I dropped my backpack on the ground.
“Betty Lawson?” my mother shouted. “You’re having an affair with Betty Lawson?”
I winced, hesitating in the entryway and half tempted to run out of there altogether. But my brothers were home. It was a Thursday which meant they had no music lessons or soccer practice.
As I raced up to their room I said a silent prayer that they’d gone to a friend’s house or…
No such luck. I found the twins curled up on Rodrick’s bed, their eyes wide with anxiety as we all listened to the raging fight going on downstairs. At ten, they liked to think of themselves as grown up, but in my eyes they were still babies.
Babies who shouldn’t have to hear any of this.
“Right,” I said, already moving into action. “Grab your jackets and come with me.”
“Where are we going?” Steven asked. I didn’t answer right away, mainly because I wasn’t sure.
Their blond hair and blue eyes were just like mine…just like our dad’s. “We’re getting ice cream,” I announced.
Rodrick, who was even more of a goody-two-shoes than I was, furrowed his brow in concern. “Won’t mom and dad get mad? We’re not supposed to have ice cream on weeknights, and it’s almost our bed—”
A crash in the kitchen had him pausing and I hurried over to grab his jacket off the hanging rack behind his closet door. “I’m pretty sure tonight they won’t care.”
I’d be surprised if they even noticed we were gone.
Minutes later they were bundled up and in my car. I’d thought the ice cream shop would be a good idea since it was the closest thing to nirvana for my little brothers, but it seemed I was wrong.
If anything, it might have been a bad idea. None of my friends were there, but kids from the twins’ middle school kept filing in and out as we huddled in our booth with our soft serve, pretending to enjoy the mountain of toppings when all any of us were really thinking about was what was going on at home.
Every time someone the twins knew waved or called out to them, they sort of shrank into themselves and that was painful to watch. I was sitting there trying to think of something else to do with them to kill time when I spotted a familiar face coming through the door.
I didn’t have time to duck.
Not that I would have. Conner might have been persistent with his attention this week, but he’d never said or done anything creepy. Just…nice. Well, not nice.
Charming.
The guy had been bending over backwards to strike up conversations and make me smile.
And in response I’d been a mannequin. Guilt nagged at me now, because seeing him here outside of school made things look different. Outside of the hallways of Talmore he just looked like a nice guy. A guy who was new to town…and I’d been acting like a jerk.
I couldn’t help it though. Even if he hadn’t bee
n intimidatingly handsome, there was the sheer fact that I didn’t trust this guy. I didn’t trust any guys, but I definitely didn’t trust someone who was so determined to get to know me.
Surely he’d heard about me. He obviously knew I’m the big bad witch of Talmore High, so what was his angle? What did he want?
And how long had he been staring at me from across the room? When our gazes clashed he seemed to come out of a stupor and he moved toward me.
I ducked my head as Steven pointed out the obvious. “That guy is coming over here.”
I stiffened, panic racing through me at the thought of my worlds colliding. In my life, school was school and my home life was my home life. Even Danny had rarely ever come over to my house, and I’d never once invited Erika and Allie over. We always went to their houses, or out to parties, or to the diner.
But now…?
“Hey, stranger,” Conner said, sliding into the seat next to me like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I glanced up at my brothers in panic because they were already having a tough night, they didn’t need to be meeting new people and making small talk. But they were just looking at Conner curiously, like he was a museum display, openly gawking in a way that only kids could get away with.
Silence reined and I realized everyone was waiting for me to make introductions or something. When I didn’t, Conner leaned forward. “Hey guys, I’m Conner. You must be Rosalie’s…uncles?”
They gave grudging laughs at the lame joke. “We’re her brothers,” Rodrick said, stating the obvious.
And then Conner was talking, chatting, making easy conversation with my little brothers like it was the most natural thing in the world.
That. Was. Terrifying.
There was no other word for it. Why? I didn’t know, but I felt absurdly exposed sitting there watching Conner make friends with my brothers like it was the most normal thing in the world. There was worlds colliding, and then there was this.
My sweet, innocent, emotionally shell-shocked brothers were coming back to life, seeming to temporarily forget the warzone at home as they perked up, getting super animated because Conner had just unlocked the secret weapon—video games.
The three of them blithely chatted about some new game I’d never heard of as my insides went to war over what was happening here. It was great to see my brothers lightening up a bit, but not like this. Not with some guy who clearly had some agenda.
He did…didn’t he? Right now it was hard to say. I’d been so sure that he was after something, but he had no reason to be so sweet to my brothers. Either he was breaking out all the stops to get close to me or…
Or maybe he was just a good guy. I shook off the thought. My emotions were in a tailspin at the moment, and I had no idea what to believe. But a protectiveness toward my brothers made me certain of one thing—I needed to find out. For their sake. There was no way I would let him close to my family if he was just out to conquer the ice queen.
When I saw chocolate dripping all over Steven’s face and him using his sleeve to mop it up, I found my excuse to nudge Conner’s arm. “I need to grab more napkins.”
He got out of the booth so I could get up and let me guide him by his pinched sleeve over to the condiment area. “What are you doing?” I asked in a low voice.
“Well, hello to you too.”
His teasing made me tense—tenser than I already was. “Are you following me or something?”
His eyes widened in surprise but laughter had his lips twitching. He nodded toward the line. “I’m here with my mom.”
I looked over to see a pretty brunette watching us with undisguised curiosity. When she saw me looking over she gave a friendly wave before reaching out to grab a bag of takeout from the lady at the counter.
Embarrassment washed over me so quickly I forgot why I’d been so upset. Of course he hadn’t been stalking me. He was here with his mom.
It was official. I had lost my mind.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, but he just laughed.
Of course he did, nothing seemed to faze this guy.
“We’re picking up dessert for my…uh…my family.”
I wondered if he even noticed that he’d hesitated over that word. I’d noticed and now I found myself intrigued.
“Look,” he said, shoving a hand through his messy dark hair. “I didn’t mean to intrude, it just…” He shrugged. “It looked like a funeral over there so I thought you guys might welcome a little distraction.”
I held my breath as I figured out what to say to that, how much to reveal. He didn’t give me the chance. He started backing away, his expression oddly…normal.
That sounded weird but it was true. I’d gotten used to seeing this guy’s smile all week long. Permanently there like he found everything about Talmore High to be one big joke. But right now, he wasn’t grinning and he wasn’t intense talking about why he wanted to get close to me, he was just a normal guy.
“Sorry for intruding,” he said before walking away.
He looked like any other teenage guy—no, scratch that. Most teenage guys couldn’t even dream of looking so good. But still, some of that bravado had faded away and he seemed far less sure of himself, and way more…human.
Wait. I thought the word but before I could say anything he’d reached his mother’s side and was helping her with the carry-out bag she had in her arms.
I watched him leave before heading to my brothers, who were still chattering excitedly amongst themselves, thoroughly distracted from the drama. After a minute, Rodrick turned to me. “Who was that guy?”
“I…” I thought about how to describe the new guy. The one who I’d heard all sorts of terrible rumors about this week, although none seemed true. The guy who’d been so cocky on his first day that he’d hit on me in front of everyone. The one who hadn’t been scared off by my silence or rudeness. The guy who’d been so nice to my younger brothers without hitting on me or even asking for anything in return.
The one who’d called me strong.
Who was that guy? “I, uh…” I sighed. “I don’t know.”
8
Conner
Yup. It was official. This was the lowest point of my life.
This week had gone from bad to worse. As if it wasn’t bad enough that I was inexplicably not liked at this school, now it seemed my nerdy step-sis was Miss Popularity. And oh yeah, let’s not forget that Rosalie, the hottest girl in school? She’d caught me going out for ice cream…with my mother.
My image had taken a hit since coming to this school, but I was pretty sure being caught out with my mom on a Thursday night had just shot any cool factor I might have had left. I slammed my locker shut and very nearly jumped to find Rosalie standing there silently. “Hey there, creeper. How long have you been standing there watching me?”
She smiled. Like, an honest-to-goodness smile.
My insides went for a roller coaster ride without me. When my tongue stopped threatening to spill out of my mouth at the startling sight of that megawatt smile, I said the first thing that popped into my head. “No wonder you never smile. If you did, this school would never be able to function.”
Her brows drew together in confusion.
“You’d be blinding everyone,” I explained.
Her lips sort of hitched to the side and I could tell she was trying to see if I was serious or not.
I was.
She didn’t acknowledge my statement either way. Instead, she thrust a notebook in my hands. “Here.”
“What’s this?”
“My World History notes,” she said. With a nervous little lick of her lips she glanced up at me through her lashes. “I was, uh…I was rude to you earlier this week when you asked for them and…I’m sorry.”
Her voice was so quiet and this was absolutely the most I’d heard her speak all week, even when I’d been walking close enough to her and her friends to eavesdrop.
Not intentionally, obviously. I was intrigued by this girl,
but I wasn’t about to stalk her.
She started to back away.
“Rosalie, wait.”
Her eyes widened in question. I held up the notebook. “Why the change of heart?”
She pursed her lips as if trying to figure out how to respond. Finally, she shrugged. “You were nice to my brothers.”
I opened my mouth and shut it. Seriously? That was it? I hadn’t even been trying last night, I’d just seen them sitting there all sad and miserable, and Rosalie had had this look in her eyes.
She’d seemed…panicked. Lonely. And her brothers? Well, they’d looked like they’d just discovered the tooth fairy wasn’t real. I hadn’t been trying to make a play for Rosalie, and the fact that it had gotten me into her good graces made me feel…
Off.
I wasn’t sure how else to put it. I shifted uncomfortably under her watchful stare. “I wasn’t trying to get something from you…” But even as I said it, I knew I was lying and that made me feel that much worse.
Just this morning Harley had taunted me over breakfast, asking me how the challenge was going.
I couldn’t help it that I was competitive. It wasn’t like I wanted to hurt Rosalie, I just needed to prove a point. Just because we’d moved, just because we were part of some new, weird family…that didn’t change who I was.
I told the world who I was. And who was that?
I have no idea anymore.
I shook off the downer thought. Of course I knew. I was the guy who got the girl. I was the guy other guys wished they could be. I was the guy who won the ice queen.
I moved forward slightly. “Does this mean you’ll help me study?”
She backed away a bit, mischief and laughter making those cold eyes come to life. “Don’t push it.”
Fair enough. I leaned back against the lockers, adopting the casual confidence that had always been my best play. “So, no one-on-one study dates, huh?”
Charming the Cheerleader (The Bet Duet Book 1) Page 6
