On Your Knees

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On Your Knees Page 21

by Liz Bradford


  “Want something to drink?” she asked.

  “Sure. A glass of water would be nice.” A glint of desire flitted through Adam’s eyes and she felt her cheeks warm.

  “Coming right up.” She turned and exited the living room as fast as she could.

  She walked into the kitchen but stopped and stared at the cluster of empty liquor bottles sitting by the sink. She walked over to them, poked at them, and picked a few up. They were all empty. The whiskey, the rum, a couple bottles of wine, and half a dozen beer bottles. Every last one empty. “Adam?”

  “Yeah?” he called from the other room.

  She didn’t know what to say. Did he drink all of it? Nah. There’s no way.

  “What’s up?” Adam came around the corner.

  She just pointed at the empty bottles and tilted her head.

  “I dumped them after you left the other night.”

  “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

  “I know, but I would do anything for you, Ella. Anything at all.”

  She smiled, but it quickly faded. “Adam… you know I’m not the solution either. I can’t make you happy. I’m not what’s missing in your life.” She walked closer to him and set her hands on his chest. “I can’t fill the hole in your heart. Only Christ can do that.”

  He kept her gaze. For once he didn’t run away or even look away when she brought up spiritual things. He didn’t say anything, but the intensity in his eyes gave away that he was processing what she said.

  Ella bit her lip and looked across the room to where Adam sat on Becca’s couch. His ears were turning red.

  “Absolutely NOT!” He sat up straight from the relaxed position he had finally taken. They had come over for dinner along with Caleb and Amelia. Adam had managed to relax a little until Caleb brought up that Ella was scheduled for worship team this weekend.

  She gripped her hands in front of herself and walked closer to him. “But Adam, I’m so sick of being stuck in the house or school all the time. I want to go to church. I just want to sing on the worship team.”

  “I understand, but…”

  Ella thrust her hands into her hair and pulled her hair together. She had completely forgotten that she was scheduled. “But what?” She threw her palms up. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be with Caleb. You could come too.” She secretly loved the idea of getting Adam to come to church with her.

  “But don’t you know the story?”

  “What story?” She looked around at her five friends who were scattered throughout the living room and kitchen; she was clearly missing something.

  “I don’t remember seeing you there that day,” Adam said, “and I would. But I would have thought you would have heard the story.”

  “Again, what story?”

  Ella followed Adam’s gaze to Becca. Her eyes were wide, and her lips pressed together.

  “Ella,” Becca’s voice shook. “I was taken from church.”

  “Wait, that happened at church?”

  Becca nodded.

  “Oh.” She had heard Becca’s story, at least parts of it.

  Caleb spoke up, “But we learned from that situation. We can be a lot more strategic in our protection of Ella. If she stays with two people at all times, no matter how skilled he is he won’t be able to take her, especially if it’s two of us. That was our biggest mistake with what happened to Becca.”

  “He’s right,” Jared said.

  Adam crossed his arms and sat back into the couch. “I still don’t like it.”

  She closed the distance between them and sat next to him. “But I need this.” She reached out and set her hand on Adam’s arms.

  “But I can’t lose you.”

  “I know. And I want to promise nothing will happen. But we’ll all be careful. I won’t even leave the sanctuary.”

  He unfolded his arms and drew her to his chest. “I guess. But we set up a plan, and we don’t deviate from it one iota. No mysterious texts leading us down a seemingly empty hallway.”

  Jared snorted a laugh. “Right!”

  That one was lost on her.

  Adam held the basketball in his hands and tried to catch his breath. The guys had gone outside to play ball while the women sat inside having tea. Caleb and Jared were playing him hard tonight, but it probably had something to do with his lack of sleep and a little more to do with his inability to take his mind off Ella.

  “Come on, Adam,” Caleb said. “Take a shot.”

  Adam squared up the shot, dribbled the ball twice, and took the shot. Swish. He smiled.

  “Finally, what’s been going on with you tonight? Normally you school us?” Jared chuckled. “Oh, I know. Ella. You’ve got it bad, huh?”

  Adam laughed. “You could say that.”

  “I think there’s something more going on,” Caleb said.

  Adam and Jared both turned their heads to where Caleb was under the hoop after picking up the ball after Adam’s shot.

  Caleb lifted an eyebrow. “Adam, what else is going on?”

  Why did Caleb have to be so astute?

  Adam blinked and caught the ball Caleb threw back to him.

  “It’s just been a tough week, and it’s only Wednesday.”

  Caleb nodded. “Does sound like this case is a doozy. How’s the whole idea of trusting God sitting with you?”

  Adam took another shot. “Well, honestly, I think I’m starting to.”

  “Yeah?” Caleb grabbed the ball and passed it to Jared.

  Jared dribbled. “I know, for me, I wouldn’t have been able to handle what happened to Becca without trusting God. It was out of my hands anyway, so leaning on Christ, knowing that His ways are higher than mine, kept my head above water.” Jared shot the ball, making a basket.

  “You guys just make it sound so easy. But I’ve been doing life on my own, on my own terms for so long. I… I just don’t know…”

  Caleb dribbled the ball out towards him and turned and took a shot himself. The ball hit the backboard and spun around the hoop before finally dropping through the net. “Let me ask you this: what do you have to lose in trusting God? What’s it going to cost you?”

  Jared ran after the ball.

  “Hmm…” Adam just stood and thought about Caleb’s question. What would it cost to follow Christ? “I guess it would cost… it would cost everything. Christ calls for complete surrender, right? Practically hate everything, even your own life, right? Isn’t that what He said.”

  “In comparison, yes. The point of that verse is that when we give up everything, Christ becomes Lord and Master of all. And our devotion to Him should be to him alone, to the extent that it would seem that we hate everything else.”

  “I’d have to give up my approach to my relationships with women.”

  Jared came back up the driveway. “Which I think you’ve done already anyway.”

  He thought of Ella and smiled. He could never even think of another woman with her in his life. “I already gave up drinking.”

  Caleb’s eyes grew wide.

  “Dumped all the liquor I had at home down the drain. I’m done running to the bottle.”

  “So, where you going to run now?” Caleb asked.

  Adam knew what his friend was suggesting, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to run to Christ. He opened his hands towards Jared. Jared passed the ball, and Adam dribbled it out to the far side of the driveway from the hoop. He took a shot. “I don’t know, Caleb. I’m not sure I’m ready to say I’d be okay with God if something did happen to Ella. I just couldn’t handle it. That would be too much.”

  Jared retrieved the ball.

  Caleb took a step toward Adam. “But you still have to trust that He will take care of her. That He will keep her safe, especially when you can’t.”

  Adam lifted his hands with his palms up. “But what if He doesn’t? He didn’t take care of Ava or Clarissa. How do you explain that?”

  “I can’t, other than to say that we live in a fallen, sinful world. But despite th
e evil things that happen, God is good.”

  “Now you sound just like Ella.”

  “We serve the same God, a good God. Crap happens. It’s possible you could lose Ella, that this guy you’re hunting could win. But does that make God any less God?”

  “I guess not.”

  “We don’t have all the answers. I wish we did, but we don’t. But I know with confidence that God is faithful. Even when life is awful; if we let Him, He’ll sustain us through it.”

  “I just don’t think I could handle it if something were to happen to her.”

  “Trust her into the Almighty’s hands. Trust your own heart into His hands. Trust that He will protect her. And trust that He will hold you if something happens.”

  “The weirdest thing happened last night.” He told Caleb and Jared about the sudden, urgent need to find Ella.

  Caleb said, “Sounds like God was speaking to you and protecting Ella.”

  “You think?”

  Both guys nodded.

  Jared asked, “Who was she talking to or who was around?”

  “She was talking to Scott; I didn’t notice who else was around. Is Scott on our list?”

  “I don’t think so, but it kinda seems like he should be.”

  “Yeah, I’d agree.”

  Chapter 19

  Ella wiped her sweaty hands on her pant legs. She stood next to Adam waiting at the check-in counter at the gun range Saturday afternoon. She wasn’t sure about this. “I don’t know, Adam. I’ve never held a gun before.”

  “That’s exactly why I want to teach you how.”

  She had been so excited when Adam came over to the Johnson’s this afternoon, until he told her his plan for their Saturday. She was thrilled to spend time with him, but guns made her nervous.

  “Detective Jamison! Welcome.”

  “Hey Jack, I’m going to teach my friend Ella here to shoot, could we borrow one of the training rooms before we hit the range?”

  “Absolutely. Room 2 is empty, help yourself.”

  “Thanks.”

  Ella followed Adam down a hallway and into a classroom. He set his bag on the table and pulled out a hard case. He opened the case but left his gun lying there. He turned and faced her. His tender smile eased the queasiness in her stomach.

  “A healthy fear of guns is good. But they are inanimate objects that require a person controlling them. Come here.” He held his arms open to her.

  She stepped closer, and he placed his hands on her shoulders.

  “I appreciate you letting me show you how to use it. Should you ever need to know, I keep a pistol in my nightstand drawer at all times. That’s why when people’s kids are over, I keep the door closed. This is my service pistol; I keep it on my hip or on the top shelf in my closet. I know Amelia and Caleb keep one in a safe on the shelf above the washing machine in the laundry room. I think they have a safe in their room too for the guns they carry regularly. Becca and Jared have a safe in their room, I believe. Not sure if they have another spot too.”

  “Why would I possibly need to know all of that?”

  “Just in case. I want you to know Amelia’s codes so that, heaven forbid, if you need one you can get to it.”

  “Okay.” She took a deep breath.

  “All right. Let’s go over the basics. Before I even show you how to use it there are four rules of firearms that everyone should know. First, never point the gun at anything you are not willing to destroy.”

  “So, I should never point it towards you.” She winked at him.

  “Please don’t.”

  “I would never.”

  His cheeks flushed. “I think you got the point of that one. If you follow any rule that’s it. It’s the most important, always point it in a safe direction. Second, always treat every gun as if it is loaded. Even if you just cleared it and checked that it was empty. The third rule is never put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to fire. Side note, can I just tell you how much it drives me nuts in TV shows and movies when the cops have their fingers on the trigger. They would know better, but anyway. The fourth rule is to always be sure of your target and what’s behind it. A bullet doesn’t magically stop when it hits what you’ve shot at. Its velocity is intense, and it will keep going, so know what’s behind what you’re shooting at.”

  She nodded. “Seems like common sense.”

  “Yes, but common sense isn’t so common these days.”

  She giggled. “True.”

  Next, he showed her all the parts of the gun and how they functioned. He showed her how to clear the firearm, how to load it, and how to hold it properly.

  “Ready to try and shoot it?” He put the gun back in the case.

  She held her breath. “As ready as I’m going to be, I suppose.” They went back to the check-in counter.

  They put on their eye and ear protection before going through the first door. Adam reached over and squeezed her hand as they waited for the first door to shut completely before opening the inner door that would put them on the actual range. As soon as they walked through the second door Ella was overwhelmed by the volume of the fans that were running. Even through her earmuffs the sound was deafening. Pkew! She jumped. The sound of a gun firing nearly knocked her off her feet. Adam’s hand rested on the small of her back and helped steady her. They walked through another door to another set of lanes. There was no one else in there. She let out a sigh of relief.

  Adam led her to a lane and showed her the controls for moving the target forward and back. He hung a target that was a black silhouette of a man and sent it back a few yards. “Most self-defense shootings happen at a distance of around seven feet, so I put it at nine.” He pulled out the pistol and loaded a magazine. He inserted the magazine into the gun and laid it down on the shelf. “Let’s see what you can do.”

  She wiped her hands on her pants and picked up the firearm. It was heavier now that it was fully loaded. She took the stance Adam showed her and raised the gun. Her heart thudded against her ribs. She couldn’t do it. She felt Adam come up close behind her. He adjusted her hold, but she couldn’t focus on it. Her heart rate rose at his closeness.

  “Now remember,” Adam spoke loudly so she could hear through her earmuffs, “you want to shoot for center mass. You shoot to kill. Your goal in firing is to stop the threat.”

  She set the firearm down and turned to him. “I don’t know that I could take someone’s life, not even if…”

  “It’s not easy. It shouldn’t be. But sometimes you don’t have a choice.”

  She looked up at him and met his eyes. “Have you ever had to?”

  “Yeah… twice…” he dropped his eyes.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, we can talk about it later.”

  “Okay.”

  “Go ahead and take a shot.”

  He helped her get the right stance and stepped back.

  She raised the gun and aimed. She pulled the trigger. Pkew. She laid the gun back down and searched the target. She had missed.

  “I can’t do this, Adam.”

  “Yes, you can. This is serious, Ella. If that”—he pointed to the silhouette—“is your attacker, and he’s hell bent on killing us what are you going to do?”

  “Let you shoot him.”

  He shook his head. “But what if I can’t. Elle, he’s charging at us with a knife, what do you do?”

  “Tell him he shouldn’t have brought a knife to a gun fight!”

  “That’s my girl!”

  They smiled at each other.

  “He’s coming, Ella!” He stepped back.

  She raised the gun toward the target and lined up the sights and continued shooting shot after shot until the magazine was empty. When the slide stayed back, she set the gun down and took several quick breaths. Adam stepped back to her side and brought the target home with the little touch pad screen.

  “Wow! Ella, that was great!”

  All fourteen rounds had hit the silhouette. Maybe this
wasn’t so bad.

  Adam smiled to himself and pulled the bag of popcorn from the microwave. Ella had really gotten the knack of shooting before they left the range. It gave him a sense of peace to have her able to work a firearm with confidence. He had also enjoyed the closeness, and not just the physical closeness. She was letting him into her heart, which was only fair since she had stolen his.

  He opened the bag and poured the popcorn into a large bowl. He grabbed two cans of coke from the fridge and went to the living room where Ella was tinkering on the piano. He set their snack on top of the piano out of Rusty’s reach and sat down next to her on the bench. He slid his arm around her waist. She leaned into him and continued to play.

  “Do you remember this one?” she asked.

  “Maybe. Sing it. If I do, I’ll join you.”

  Her voice filled the air.

  Marvelous grace of our loving Lord, Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt,

  Yonder on Calvary’s mount out-poured, there where the blood of the Lamb was spilt.

  Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

  Grace, grace God’s grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin.

  Dark is the stain that we cannot hide, what can avail to wash it away?

  Look! There is flowing a crimson tide; Whiter than snow you may be today.

  Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

  Grace, grace God’s grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin.

  Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace, Freely bestowed on all who believe;

  All who are longing to see his face, will you this moment his grace receive?

  Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

  Grace, grace God’s grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin.

  The words and her tender voice reached deep into his soul. He let her sing the whole song and listened without joining in this time even though the words came back to him as she sang. The words nudged him to respond, but he ignored it.

  When she finished the song, she turned to him and smiled. She put her arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. Against his chest he could feel her cheeks scrunch from her lips turning up in a smile.

 

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