That was why he couldn’t be with Ruby. If childbirth didn’t kill her, she’d kill herself by taking a risk. A needless chance. And he wasn’t going to watch her get shot by an outlaw she was chasing. Or take a chance and jump off another cliff into the river. If the fall didn’t kill her, hitting a rock could.
There were so many things he loved about her that she frightened him. Losing Laura had almost killed him, and he hadn’t loved her like he did Ruby. If Ruby was to die, how could he handle the pain?
Finally, he’d drank himself into a stupor, and he sunk onto his bedroll, numb from the alcohol and passed out.
Ruby found Deke’s tracks, and it didn’t take long to catch him. She’d spotted him right after dark and sat in stunned silence watching him drink himself until he obviously could no longer function.
She’d never seen Deke drunk. In fact, she’d only tasted alcohol on him once, the night he’d caught her dancing in the rain.
The sight of him inebriated out of his mind, taking a risk on the trail to anyone who happened by when he was besotted, just made her even angrier. The man thought she took chances; he needed to look inward.
Well, she was going to fix him right up. If he thought she took risks, she was going to show him what a fool he was for jeopardizing his life drunk.
An hour before dawn, she snuck into his camp. The puppy looked up at her with sleepy eyes, her tail thumping in recognition, and gave a quick bark of hello.
Rapidly, Ruby wrapped the rope around Deke’s feet and tied it securely. After throwing the rope over a tree branch, she tied the end to her saddle horn and then talked her mustang into moving forward. The horse lifted Deke’s body up off the ground.
When he was swinging upside down wildly from the tree, he opened his eyes. “What the hell?”
Ruby bit her lip to keep from smiling. The fool was certainly not expecting this early morning wake up call. “Good morning, Deke.”
“What the hell?”
“I’m showing you how you take reckless chances that could get you killed. You drank so much last night I was able to ride into your camp this morning, tie you up, and hoist you into a tree. You didn’t even move when your dog barked hello.”
The pit in her stomach that had been coiled into a knot suddenly released and calmness settled over her. Whatever doubts had remained about the two of them now vanished. He deserved this little retribution for forgetting how good they were together, for forgetting the attraction that existed between them since she was a young girl, for forgetting about the love that flowed between them like a river, connecting them. But he wouldn’t forget after today.
“Let me down. My head is throbbing, and this doesn’t help. I’m going to puke if you don’t get me down.”
“That’s what happens when you drink too much.”
“I had things to forget.”
“Things? You mean me? Alcohol will not wipe me out.”
He swung there, glaring at her.
“Twice now you’ve turned me down. You tell me you love me and then you ride away.” She watched him trying to reach his feet, his hands flaying wildly in the air, causing him to swing even more. Part of her felt bad for hurting him, yet her heart kept telling her, this was right. This shaking up was exactly what Deke needed.
He stopped flailing and stared at her upside down. “You should be glad I left you. I refuse to watch you get yourself killed.”
“Coward.”
“The hell I am.”
“That’s not why you left me.”
Deke’s fear of getting her pregnant and seeing her sisters with child was what had him moving faster than a squirrel in a cage.
His body swung in the tree as he bent to reach up unsuccessfully to get loose. Finally, he stopped again and glared at her. “You know I can’t be with you. I’m not killing another woman.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. How did you reach a man who was hurt like Deke?
“Don’t you think women die every day from childbirth? Do you think you’re the only man who’s lost a wife? Has the world stopped having babies because Deke Culver’s wife died?”
“Cut me loose,” he demanded, trying to reach the ropes around his ankles. “I know babies are born every day, but it’s my fault Laura is dead.”
Ruby shook her head at him. “Did you do everything you could to save her life?”
“Yes.”
Sure, Deke had made mistakes with Laura’s pregnancy. He’d gone off bounty hunting, leaving her alone. That one would ride his conscious to the end of his days, but even when you make mistakes, you get a second chance. A chance to do better.
“Then how is it your fault? You can either continue living in the past, blaming yourself for something you had no control over, or you can stop being a coward and get on with life. Your choice.”
Deke looked like if he could reach her, he’d smack her, but she wasn’t worried. He might want to throttle her, but he would never hit a woman. The knots would hold for a while longer, but right now, she had to help him see reason.
“Cut me loose,” he yelled at her.
She shook her head. “I loved you. I loved you enough I had even considered giving up bounty hunting because you wanted to get out of the business. I was willing to make sacrifices and you weren’t.”
“The hell I wasn’t. And you never told me you would give up bounty hunting.”
“That’s because you ran like a coward during the night.”
“Well, I wasn’t going to stick around and watch your sister…”
Somehow, he had to realize not every pregnancy resulted in death.
“My sister is doing just fine, and I’m confident Annabelle will have that baby and live to watch the child become an adult.”
“I hope so. I really do,” Deke said, still trying to reach his ankles. “Now get me down before I start throwing up.”
Maybe next time, he wouldn’t drink quite so much. Maybe next time, he’d realize he had been foolish to get besotted and leave himself vulnerable on the trail.
“Why should I?”
“Because you love me.”
“But you don’t love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me. I could get killed riding home today. You could get killed watching the grass grow. We only have whatever time God has given us to be together, and you’re wasting it.”
Ruby threw a knife, and it landed in the dirt, just out of Deke’s reach. “Have a great day, Deke. I’m going home to my sisters. I’m done chasing you.”
She tied the rope around a tree, being sure there was no slack. Then she climbed up on her horse and turned to stare at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I never suspected you were a coward, but damn it, Deke, you’re the worst kind of yellow belly. A man who can’t admit his feelings.”
She rode out of the clearing. It was time to go home to her sisters. She’d given it one last try, and he hadn’t budged.
Deke Culver was the biggest damn fool, and now he was going to have to do some major apologizing to Ruby for her to agree to marry him.
The last week he’d been miserable without her. All he could do was remember and think about her and wonder what she was doing. And when she’d ridden into his camp, he’d felt so much relief at seeing her, until she’d left him hung over and tied up.
Somewhere along the trail he’d realized it wasn’t just the childbirth thing, but it was dying. Any time anyone loved this much the risk of having his heart ripped out was there, leaving you vulnerable. Laura had been a really good friend, but Ruby was everything.
Ruby made him into a better man; she was strong and tough and more woman than he’d ever dreamed of loving. He wanted as much time as possible with this woman he’d fallen madly in love with.
He rode up into the yard of the McKenzie farm. No one greeted him. No one came to the door. As he stepped on the porch, he could hear a woman screaming.
The sound sent a shiver of fear scurrying down his spi
ne. What if that was Annabelle?
“Beau Samuel, what have you done?”
“Honey, take a deep breath. Sugar, you know I mean well. We’re all learning here.”
“Where is the doctor?”
“He should be on his way,” Beau said.
Maybe Deke should ride away and come back later after the baby was born. He didn’t want to witness the birth. The remembrance of Ruby calling him a coward settled on his chest like an anvil. The time for running away was over. He needed to face his fears, and it sounded like the biggest one was happening now.
He knocked on the door. Hannah answered.
“Oh dear,” she said.
“I need to see Ruby,” he said, holding his hat in shaking hands. He was running out of time to walk away.
“Who is it, Hannah?” Ruby called.
“Deke,” he called back.
“Get in here.”
He walked into the house and through the door of the bedroom. He stared at the group around the bed. Beau was white as snow, Ruby gazed at him anxiously, and Annabelle appeared worn out.
“What’s wrong?” Deke said, not even saying hello.
“It’s been a difficult birth,” Ruby said. “Annabelle is worn out, and the doctor has yet to arrive.”
Just like what had happened with Laura. He clenched his fists, his breath swooshing from his lungs, as he resisted the urge to turn and run away. He wanted nothing to do with watching Annabelle struggle to birth a baby and then the two of them die. He had to leave.
Ruby watched him, and he could see the need for his help in her eyes, but he wanted to run. He couldn’t help her; he just couldn’t.
She’d called him a coward, and she was right. He was frightened, and the memories of Laura’s struggles flooded his mind. He couldn’t relive this with Annabelle. “I can’t stay.”
Ruby bathed Annabelle’s face with a cool cloth. Her voice was tired and full of fear. “Get out and don’t come back.”
That was all he needed to hear. “Wait, Ruby.” He swallowed and tried to control his shaking hands. What had he done that helped Laura? What had happened those final moments before they delivered the baby?
Glancing at Beau because he needed to know the man was okay with Deke helping his wife, he asked, “How long has she been in labor?”
“Twelve hours. Meg’s gone to find the midwife.”
“How far apart are the pains?”
Laura’s pains had sapped her strength at the end. She’d been almost limp after the last one that had delivered their child.
Annabelle turned her tired eyes on him. “They’re coming faster and faster.”
That meant the end was not far off.
“Do you mind if I take a look?” he asked, glancing between Annabelle and Beau. “When I delivered my son, he arrived when the pains were almost on top of one another.”
The couple exchanged glances, and Beau said, “Go ahead.”
Deke lifted up the sheet, and he could see Annabelle was almost ready. “Good news. I can see the top of the baby’s head.”
He took a deep breath. Somehow, he had to help this couple keep from experiencing what had happened to him. But what if they died? He couldn’t live with himself if another mother and child died because of him.
Quickly, he pushed the thought away and remembered what he had to do. Keep the mother composed and help her push through the pains.
“Annabelle, I need you to calm down and remember women have been having babies for hundreds of years. You can do this.”
Ruby’s mouth dropped open, and he smiled at her. Hadn’t she reminded him the world would continue to have babies without him?
“Oh, my God, I can feel him,” Annabelle said.
Ruby rushed to her sister’s feet and gazed at the head. “Come on, Annabelle. The baby is almost here. Give us one more push, and I think the baby will be born.”
Annabelle gazed up at Beau. “I’m too tired. I can’t.”
“Come on, honey. You want to see our baby girl, don’t you?”
“It’s a boy,” she argued. “Oh no, here comes another pain. I can’t do this…”
Deke ran his hand through his hair, his nerves tightening inside him, fear pushing him to save Ruby’s sister. “Beau, crawl up in the bed with Annabelle and place her in between your legs. You’re going to lift Annabelle during the next pain. Ruby, you’re going to push down her stomach, like you’re trying to push the baby out.”
“Okay,” Ruby said, getting into position.
“Let’s hope this works,” Deke said. “Push, Annabelle. You’re almost there. Breathe and push.”
“Come on, let’s do this together. Push, honey, push,” Beau said, coaching his wife.
Annabelle strained and screamed as she was pushing, her face glowing a bright red while her husband lifted her. Ruby made hard stroking motions with her hands on Annabelle’s extended belly like she was shoving the child out.
“Almost there,” Deke said, placing his hands to catch the baby’s head.
With a mighty swoosh, the baby’s head came through, and then Deke gently pulled the rest of her body out.
“Hand me a wet rag,” he said.
Ruby handed him the washcloth, and he gently wiped the baby’s face and mouth clean, so she could breathe. The baby girl opened her eyes and glanced at him. She was alive.
The infant started to cry, and Annabelle held out her arms. “Let me have him.”
“Hang on, Mom. We need to cut the umbilical cord. Beau, would you do the honor of cutting the cord on your baby girl?”
“It’s a girl,” Annabelle said laughing.
Beau reached down and cut the cord that tied the infant to Annabelle. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and he lifted the infant from Deke’s hands and laid her on Annabelle’s stomach.
Through her tears, she smiled down at Deke. “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t know how much longer I could have gone on.”
His heart nearly burst with pride, and love, and joy. “No. Thank you for letting me be a part of this joyful occasion.”
“I know your past, Deke. I’m sorry about your son, but you saved me and our daughter. Thank you,” Annabelle said weeping.
Tears welled up in his eyes, and he glanced over at Ruby. She was openly crying.
“If you hadn’t come today, I don’t know what would have happened. Thank you.” She fell into his arms, and he held onto her.
He owed this family so much. While the death of his infant son and Laura would always be painful, today was the first step to healing that hurt. He’d delivered Annabelle’s baby.
“Maybe we should let the new family get to know each other,” he said.
He and Ruby walked out of the room, holding onto each other.
“You were right,” he said. “I’m the biggest coward that probably walked this earth. I’m afraid of seeing you hurt. I’m afraid of watching you take chances. I’m afraid of pain—the pain of losing you. Yet, somehow during the last week, it’s hurt more to know I hurt you by leaving after saying I love you and missing you.”
She glanced up at him, staring him in the eye. The pain of leaving her rushed at him, and he knew he couldn’t live without her.
“I’m a weak, spineless man who doesn’t like to see the people I love hurt. When I care about people, I give them everything, and so when they hurt, I hurt. When they feel pain, I feel pain, and when they die…I want to die.”
He took a deep breath and released. “But right now, I’m in the worst sort of pain because I knew when you left, you weren’t coming back. There wouldn’t be another chance to prove I love you no matter that you were done. And that scared me worse than anything I’ve ever felt.”
He got down on one knee in the front yard, and she gasped.
His heart was overflowing with love for this woman, and no matter what—her dangerous activities, her recklessness, her need for adventure—nothing would stop him from loving her, from wanting to spend his life with her.
/> “I know I said I would never marry again. I would never take a chance of endangering your life, but you make my life fun and exciting, and I can’t imagine you not being by my side. I love you, Ruby. Please say you’ll marry me.”
She licked her lips. “You’re not going to back out again, Deke, are you?”
“Never. You make my life richer and happier than I’ve ever been. I need you.”
Ruby flew into his arms, sending him backwards onto the ground. He wrapped his arms around her.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, but I have a few conditions.”
“And they are?” he asked, suddenly worried.
“I am a strong, independent woman. You will not boss me around and tell me what to do.”
“Can we make our decisions together?” he asked.
She thought about it for a moment. “Yes. I can agree to that.”
“Okay, what else?”
Taking a deep breath, she released it slowly. “I want to train young women to be independent. To become bounty hunters if they choose. Or simply to learn how to shoot. I’ve got to have something to keep me busy, and needlepoint is not going to do it.”
Relief flowed through Deke, and a joyous laugh came out from within. “As long as you’re careful. And by careful, I mean you teach them to hit a target and not you.”
She smiled. “Deke, it took you long enough to come around.”
He held her in his arms. “Like I said, you scare me, Ruby, but I love you more than the fear you incite in me.”
“Every time I scare you, we’ll make love,” she said.
“I’ll take you up on that offer,” he whispered. “You know proposing is kind of scary.”
Ruby’s eyes widened. “What can I do to help you through your fear?”
“Well…” His lips claimed hers, and for the first time in years, Deke felt like he’d come home to where his heart belonged.
Revenge or Reprieve? Hell hath no fury like a woman betrayed.
After Hannah Williams is trained to be a bounty hunter, her first goal is to kill her stepfather and rescue all the girls from Mrs. Hutchin’s whorehouse. Knowing her life is in danger, she returns to Hide Town, Texas only to discover the handsome preacher who refused to help her, being beaten. Showing him mercy, she takes him to her hideout where she soon learns the preacher has secrets of his own.
Lipstick and Lead Series: The Complete Box Set With a Bonus Book Page 72
