“I wish I could make you understand what it does to me to think of you hurt, or scared, or sad,” he said removing her hat and stroking her hair. “You almost drown, you get shot at, you have a killer writing you messages in blood. I just want to take you and disappear. What do you think of that idea, Sergeant Cavanaugh?”
She looked at him stunned and confused. “What do you mean? Leave Landon? I . . . I can’t Jake. You know I can’t. My job, my guys I . . .”
“Fine,” he said, cutting her off coldly. “We’ll do it your way.” He stared her down for a moment, and then walked away leaving her standing at the railing by herself, sending her into a momentary panic. Her normal M.O. would be to stand there and let him walk away; You don’t want me? Fine, I don’t want you either. Not this time. This was a man she would risk everything for, a man she would finally have the courage to fight for. She ran after him and grabbed his hand, spinning him around.
“What?” he said, startled as she pulled him in the opposite direction. “Where are we going?”
“We’re getting a drink,” she said, marching him down the boardwalk. “Several, in fact.”
They sat on the balcony patio at the Sunset Tower restaurant. Though the five-star restaurant had a dress code, it didn’t usually kick in until after seven and it was only five. The mood was still heavy from the diving story, though his reaction was making her fall harder by the second. “Have a drink with me, Jake. Come on, we’ve had a hell of a week.”
“No, thank you,” he said flatly.
“Please, Daddy,” she said batting her eyelashes, hoping the shift in tactics would seduce his dominant side. “Let me have some fun tonight.”
Jake grinned, both aroused and amused. “Brat.” He was angry with her for not letting him stay angry with her. “I’ll have a scotch. Lagavulin if you have it,” Jake said to the waiter.
“No, he won’t. He’ll have what I’m having,” she said confidently but then looked nervously at Jake. “Two Long Island iced teas.” The waiter looked at Jake, but Jake was too busy piercing Charlie with his eyes to deal with him, so he walked away.
“Don’t look at me like that, please,” she said, sheepishly. “This is my party. I want you to drink with me.”
Two lobsters, two more Long Island ice teas, and a magnificent sunset sky later, they were headed back down the boardwalk to their hotel. Charlie was fuzzy, but Jake seemed largely unaffected—except for his eyes and the tone of his voice.
They held hands as they walked. The sun had already set in the late March sky as they passed a tattoo shop. Jake pulled on Charlie’s hand until they were looking into the shop window. He stood behind her, bent over with his arms around her waist and his head nestled against hers so he could whisper into her ear.
“Do you know what I want?” he asked in a hushed voice.
She shook her head, horrified at the idea of matching tattoos but said nothing, not wanting to disappoint him.
“I want to mark you,” he growled.
“Mark me?” she swallowed. “You mean like . . . property of?”
“Not a tattoo. I want to mark you in a way that reminds you every minute of every day that you belong to me. An act of submission that forms a permanent bond of trust between us. A salacious secret that only we know.”
Charlie’s head was swimming, from the teas, from the smell of the alcohol on his breath, and from the site of the nipple piercing jewelry he was pointing at.
“What? Oh, no Adams. No fucking way,” she started to move from the window, but he held her in place and moved his hand to her neck.
“Way,” he said flatly. Her pulse quickened at his control over her body and her legs started to feel weak. “Jake. Jake. I need . . .”
“I know what you need, Charlotte,” he said, breathing heavily into her ear and finally releasing his grip.
She sighed and took his hand and said, “Come on, you lunatic. We need to lie down.” He grinned an evil grin and lost his footing as they stepped away from the window.
Back at the suite they both collapsed on to the bed. She on her back, him propped up on his elbow, looking at her like she was dessert. He slid up her shirt and bra and started teasing her nipples with his fingers.
“Right here,” he growled. “Two beautiful little gold rings to remind you that you are mine. That you trust me and that you are all mine.”
“Oh my God, Jake, you are drunk. Hell, I’m drunk too but I’ll never be drunk enough to pierce my nipples, you freak.” She laughed nervously, not sure if he was kidding, and confused by the fact the whole idea was turning her on.
Well, she had wanted him to drop his guard and dropped it was. Be careful what you wish for, she thought.
Jake smiled a sad smile of resignation at her and traced her full lips with his fingers. “You might . . . if you were in love with me,” he said, his eyes closing, as if imagining it. Charlie looked into his sad and handsome chiseled face.
If? she thought. There was no if about it, but the words wouldn’t come. He kissed her deeply and gently rolled her over and pulled her into him and they both drifted off to sleep.
At two a.m. Charlie awoke to a pounding headache and the realization that she had lost a night with him. Damn it! She slid out from under his arms. This was supposed to be a night of drunken revelations, a long luxurious bath, and out-of-control love-making.
She changed out of her clothes and into a t-shirt and panties pausing to look sadly at the oversized Jacuzzi before crawling back into bed and into Jake’s arms. He didn’t wake up but immediately re-enveloped her with his body. It felt like they had been sharing a bed for a hundred years.
“I do love you, Jake,” she whispered, before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.
Jake awoke at seven, realized he was still in his clothes and gave his partner an annoyed shove. “We lost the whole night Cavanaugh. Good plan genius! Oww, my head hurts.”
She groaned and rolled over to face him. “You can’t hold your liquor Adams,” she grinned mischievously.
“Oh and you can?”
“Well at least I changed out of my clothes,” she retorted.
“I’ll get you out of your clothes,” he said, his eyes dancing. She squealed as she pretended to try to escape him. He caught her by the t-shirt tail and pulled her back, wrestling the shirt off and fighting for her panties.
“Jake!” she screamed, as he flattened her on her back, ripped her panties off and slid off the bed between her knees. His breath made contact with her wetness. His tongue barely made contact, causing her to arch her back and push herself toward him.
“Lay still,” he ordered, his tongue slowly probing her. She floated in ecstasy while he played, teased, and tormented her before he finally plunged his tongue deep inside her. A scream caught in her throat as she let go, but he showed no mercy, opening his mouth to completely cover her mound. Then he started to suck, his teeth cutting into her flesh while he devoured her. She screamed again and begged him to stop all the while grinding into his face, wanting more, wanting so much more. She finally lay limp and semi-conscious while he gently licked her, letting her come down slowly. She didn’t know if she had fallen asleep or entered another dimension but as she was coming back from wherever she had been she realized he was still licking her. Gently and rhythmically. The realization of what she awoke to almost triggered another orgasm, but he denied her by stopping just before she climaxed. He climbed on top of her, rock hard through his wrinkled khakis and kissed her with lips that were covered in her scent. To his delight, she devoured his mouth.
“Please Jake. Please,” she begged. “I need you.”
“Shhhh,” he said quietly. “Easy Baby.”
This time it was Charlie’s turn to flash and the anger in her eyes caught him off guard.
“FUCK EASY!” she screamed.
Chapter 27
I
Confuse You? Don’t I?
“hat did you say?”
“I said fuck easy!” She tried not to react as his entire body transformed.
“What the fuck is going on? Why am I not good enough for you?” she demanded, un-intimidated by his clenched fists.
Jake glared.
“I mean, Jesus Christ, Adams,” she slapped the sheets in frustration. “Last night you want to mark me by piercing you know . . . my nipples and you practically told me that you’re, you know, that you might be, you know, in love with me and this morning you want me to take it easy?”
His cold eyes pierced her and she knew she had gone too far but she was too frustrated to calculate how far, which might have silenced her, and she was not ready to be silenced.
“It’s not fair, Jake. I want you like I have never wanted anybody in my life. My body is aching for you and you just won’t, and I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s wrong because I know you are feeling it too. Am I not thin enough? Not attractive enough? What? Just tell me. I tell you everything and you tell me nothing!”
“Are you finished?” he asked coolly.
Charlie laid flat on her back and stared at the ceiling, her arms folded and her jaw squared.
“Go make a bath for us. I’m going to order up some breakfast.” He said in reply to her silence.
Charlie didn’t move.
“Now, Charlotte,” he said, but she didn’t budge. He moved his face closer to hers. “I’m not playing this game, little girl,” he said, willing her eyes to meet his. She looked up at him and her stomach flipped.
“Get up now and draw us a bath,” he ordered again, “or I will beat your ass.”
She hesitated for a second. The threat of a spanking sent a sexually charged shiver through her, but she decided it would be better not to push him given the look in his eyes. A spanking she could handle, a beating she could not and this Jake might not know the difference. She stomped her feet like a petulant teenager as she crossed the massive suite to the bathroom. Jake slowly followed her in step like a cat stalking a mouse. As Charlie pouted naked with her arms folded in protest and watched the water fill the bath, Jake moved in behind her undetected. In a split second he had his arms across the front and back of her neck in a chokehold.
“I don’t like to be pushed, Charlotte,” he hissed through gritted teeth, his grip on her neck tighter than he intended. Charlie stood on her tiptoes to keep from losing her breath all together. “Do you hear me?” She nodded her head as much as she could.
“I . . . I just want to make you feel as good as you make me feel,” she said weakly.
His grip held fast while his erection throbbed against her back. She could feel the wheels turning in his head. She knew his eyes were going cold and as she tried to control her panic, he began to laugh. It was not a playful laugh, it was an evil, maniacal chuckle that Jake was clearly trying to suppress and it made the hair on her arms stand up. He could feel her starting to shake, a combination of fear and arousal he had provoked on many occasions with many women.
“I confuse you, don’t I?” he said in a voice she barely recognized. She nodded. She didn’t recognize the voice but she recognized the movie line—Spencer Tracy from Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. She prayed it was a coincidence rather than an indication of what was to come.
Jake could feel himself starting to lose control. It was a magnificent rush and he didn’t want to control it but he knew if he didn’t move quickly, it was going to get away from him. He didn’t want to hurt her and he didn’t want to leave, but if he didn’t reel it in, he might have to choose one or the other and he feared his choice. With one arm still locked around her neck he started to stroke her hair.
“Tell me about the ocean, Charlie.”
“What? I . . . I don’t know what you mean?” she said as she felt her consciousness waning.
“Yes, you do.”
She took as much of a breath as she could manage with a compressed windpipe.
“Tell me. Bring me down, Baby,” he pleaded.
Somehow, she knew what he wanted. “I . . . I love the ocean but not the beach,” she started tentatively. “I mean, I love looking at the beach, but it’s the ocean that gets me.”
“More,” he said, sounding calmer as the tub continued to fill.
“I love being under the water. Inside the belly of the ocean. I love looking up at the sun through the water’s glass ceiling, the gentle rocking of the current while the warm water envelopes my body. The silence of the ocean in a state of neutral buoyancy is like a symphony to me. It drowns out all the noise in my head.”
“Yes,” he growled, not yet having decided which way this was going to go.
“It shuts out everything. Doubt, loneliness, not being good enough. It makes all that go away.” Her toes started to weaken as she struggled to keep her breath from being hijacked.
“Yesss,” he hissed, nodding his head in understanding.
“It’s not all bodies of water. Just the ocean. Only the ocean has the power that I want to surrender to. I love the feeling that I belong there, that I’ve always belonged there. I’ve never felt like I belonged anywhere. I feel safe under the water, in spite of what happened, it feels and has always felt like the safest place I could ever be, like no one can hurt me there.”
“Until I met you, Jake. And now I . . .” her voice cracked as he made his decision.
Chapter 28
The Accusation
Jake’s arm relaxed around Charlie’s neck and the chokehold turned into a hug. A deep, desperate, hanging on for dear life, hug. Jake let a breath out as Charlie drew a breath in, relieved her neck hadn’t been snapped.
“I’m fucked up, Charlie, really fucked up.”
Ya think? she thought, but didn’t say. She turned toward him and caressed his face with a shaking hand while still eyeing the door. Her love for him overrode her apprehension, though not entirely.
“Jake, I don’t know anyone on this job who isn’t fucked up. Talk to me please.”
Jake remained silent, still trying to recover his senses, while Charlie’s eyes, wide from fear, pleaded with him to trust her. Her instincts told her not to push. She started to undress him. She should have been planning her exit strategy but she couldn’t do it. He needed her. It was her turn to comfort him. She got in the tub first then motioned for him to sit in front of her. The tub was huge and when she hit the button for the jets, they both let out a sigh. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and ran the washcloth across his chest. It was in her nature to push but she knew he was wrestling with some serious demons. In truth, part of her didn’t want to know. She liked thinking of him as in control and stoic but she also desperately wanted to know the real Jake. The glimpse she just got was as real as it gets.
“I have some issues in my past, Charlie. These issues make relationships with women . . . challenging. That’s why I’ve never been married. Between my temper and my sexual dysfunction, I just . . .” Charlie keyed on the words “temper” and “dysfunction” but she stayed silent, wanting him to give up as much information as he was willing to offer.
The longer you are quiet, the more information you’ll get, kid, she heard Thompson say in her head.
“My parents explained once . . .” he started, then stopped, his body tensing. “It’s just that it’s hard for me to trust people, well . . . women, no, people. It’s hard for me to trust anyone and that causes a mental block that causes me problems in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Jesus, I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” He shook his head in disbelief and smacked his hand on the water, causing her to jump.
Charlie kept her composure and chose her words carefully. Part of her wanted him to unload his burden, but the experienced side of her worried that she was being played. She had been played many times before. It was a reflex to jump to suspicion, but to what end? He s
ure as hell wasn’t interested in bedding her.
“I’m not sure I understand completely. I mean, you’re incredibly sexy and very . . . umm . . . responsive and quite ummm blessed in that area.”
“Oh no, I don’t have that problem,” he said, sounding offended.
“Well, what is it then?” The question came off as judgmental, which wasn’t her intent. He stayed quiet and though she didn’t want to push him, she couldn’t help herself.
“What is it, Jake? You have to tell me. I need to understand what’s going on here. I mean, you just had me in a chokehold and I . . .”
“I have trouble . . . finishing,” he interrupted, then turned to look at her to gauge her reaction.
Charlie was confused. “You mean it takes you a long time to come?”
“Yea.”
“Jeez, Jake. I don’t think that’s so unusual is it?” she asked innocently. “Hell, being quick on the trigger would be a much bigger problem don’t you think? No wait—let me answer that for you! Yes. Yes, it would.” She was smiling, but stopped when he didn’t smile back.
“It’s more like I can’t come,” he admitted, still studying her face.
“At all?”
“It’s happened, but it’s very rare. I’ve been checked by a doctor and he said it’s not physiological. You see, it’s a trust thing. I got some therapy for it for a couple of years. It didn’t really help the problem but it helped me understand it, you know what I mean?”
Charlie nodded. A couple of years of therapy? Oh boy. It took everything she had not to react.
“It’s just that, women seem to take it personal. You know, that they can’t get me there and it becomes this whole big issue and it’s just not worth it to go through all that, so I basically just avoid it. Sex. I avoid sex.”
“Oh,” Charlie said, feeling the weight of what he had just told her.
“So, when is the last time you had sex?” she asked. “I’m sorry, am I being awful?”
The Hooker, the Handyman and What the Parrot Saw Page 20
